It's Official: She Hasn't Changed

[LMP]

I have a crazy ex-girlfriend who I've basically tried to avoid for the past 2 years, mainly because of her insanity. Just think of an uber-preppy, shrill, pretty, hollow shell of a person.

So the other day, she adds me on MySpace. I figured, what the hell, maybe there might be some comedy out of this. Turns out there was. She hasn't changed a bit in the past 2 years, it's frightening and funny at the same time.

After adding me, she of course wants to talk to me, so I've been kind of nice, but still sarcastic at the same time, and she thinks I'm completely serious. It's probably a lot funnier with more background information, I might spill that later, but for now... yes, she is still insane.

 

[LikeNoOneBefore]

Pfft. My ex hasn't changed very much either. He's still the self-absorbed, bitter person he was after we broke up. And he's not one to believe in second chances. Crazy how people change in the blink of an eye, though. He was never like that, and now he is to everyone.

Haha but I hope your ex-girlfriend doesn't try getting back with you or something. That'd be awkward.

 

[phillyfan26]

It's like in Seinfeld when Jerry follows Kramer and George to Kramer's friend the psychic when George wants his tonsils cured cheaply.

"I'm just here for new material. And I think I've hit a gold mine."

 

[LMP]

Pfft. My ex hasn't changed very much either. He's still the self-absorbed, bitter person he was after we broke up. And he's not one to believe in second chances. Crazy how people change in the blink of an eye, though. He was never like that, and now he is to everyone.

Haha but I hope your ex-girlfriend doesn't try getting back with you or something. That'd be awkward.

No, she's absolutely in love with the greatest man of all-time. I'm paraphrasing here, mainly because I was given similar adjectives.

It's hard to take people that speak only in hyperbole seriously.

 

[LemonMelon]

Your life is apparently more entertaining than mine is right now.

 

[LMP]

The most ironic thing was how she asked how my family was doing, when she, no lie, absolutely hated them. Looking back, I have no idea why, then again, she's insane.

That answers everything, really.

 

[LikeNoOneBefore]

Unpredictable exes are SO much fun to deal with, aren't they?

 

[LMP]

I'm having a ball with this.

 

[AtomicBono]

there was this guy, he used to be my friend's best friend, and I was cool with him, but he become a complete tool...but he thinks he is the shit, like he seriously thinks he is deep and philosophical when everything he says is bullshit. so now we mess with him on facebook, i sent him one fake message and now he wants to get food/coffee with me (NOT BOTH OMG), what a douche. his messages get more and more ridiculous. Pretty much he hasn't changed much in the last two years or so, except he's possibly gotten worse.

don't you just love fake bitches who try to be everyone's friend when they're really assholes who will eventually stab you in the back??

 

[LikeNoOneBefore]

don't you just love fake bitches who try to be everyone's friend when they're really assholes who will eventually stab you in the back??

You must know this one chick I'm thinking of.

 

[AtomicBono]

You must know this one chick I'm thinking of.

I think everyone knows someone like that

 

[LikeNoOneBefore]

I think everyone knows someone like that

Does her name begin with an S? Because my person's does!

No, no one on here. I love everybody here!

 

[WildHoneyAlways]

Zoo Confessionals anyone???

 

[love_u2_adam]

i'm totally fucking kidding ha hahaha

boys are icky

 

[LMP]

Now I've kind of started an argument about DVDs? She's become super-religious, so maybe the religoous references was too rough for her. I'm not sure, you be the judge:

Me (in reference to meat): Michael: Guys! Beef. It’s what’s for dinner. Who wants some man meat?
Dwight: I do Michael, I want your man meat.
Jim: Michael, Dwight would like your man meat.
Michael: Well then my man meat he shall have.

please tell me you've seen The Office.

Her: i have seen the office. but watching tv doesn't fit in my schedule during guard season. which is any time but summer.

Me: that's why God, Jesus, Apollo, or Vishnu created TV show DVDs.

Maybe the best thing since regular DVDs.

Her: but do i care enough to buy that shit?

no.
not in the least bit.

Me: hey now, you don't have to buy it, you could just rent it.

maybe you can rent gilmore girls with it or something.
---

That's a little crazy to me.

 

[phillyfan26]

Are you talking about Apollo Creed there?

Because Michael trusts him more than Jesus.

 

[LMP]

It could be either, really.

If the bickering continues, I will drop a Unicron threat, no joke.

 

[phillyfan26]

She will most likely then inform you that she doesn't understand that "Transformers shit" and that it's "so gay."

 

[LMP]

It's no Laguna Beach, but hey, nothing can be that perfect...

 

[LemonMelon]

Tell her that you've deducted her 50 Schrute bucks, and see what she does.

 

[LMP]

I actually have said that, and pasted a picture of a Schrutebuck on her page, but she had to remove it because "it messed up the order of my myspace."

Apparently she's a "design-ist"? I think she made that up.

 

[LemonMelon]

I actually have said that, and pasted a picture of a Schrutebuck on her page, but she had to remove it because "it messed up the order of my myspace."

Apparently she's a "design-ist"? I think she made that up.

You got yourself involved with a feng shui nut?

 

[LMP]

I've done a lot of stupid things in my life, and she takes the cake.

 

[LemonMelon]

I've done a lot of stupid things in my life, and she takes the cake.

 

[LMP]

She'd probably eat all of it, too.

 

[zonelistener]

She changed her underwear!

 

[LikeNoOneBefore]

I actually have said that, and pasted a picture of a Schrutebuck on her page, but she had to remove it because "it messed up the order of my myspace."

Apparently she's a "design-ist"? I think she made that up.

That's amazing.