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Old 08-04-2001, 08:46 PM   #1
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Why I'd Make A Good Husband V.1

Why I'd Make A Good Husband
A Persuasive essay in point form by Pollux (real name ommited for non-obvious reasons)

- I can somewhat cook... compared to other guys. I mean, anyone can do Kraft Dinner, but as long as I have instructions I think I could pull of something a little more difficult.

- I am not an attractive person, but I'm not that ugly either. So even though you wouldn't WANT to sleep with me, it wouldn't scare you for life or anything. It's not like you'll wake up years down the road and think, "Oh my God, I can't eat a sausage anymore because I had sex with Pollux."(real name ommited for non-obvious reasons)

- I don't talk, but I listen. I swear, if you want to, I can listen for hours on end about any problem you have. Plus, I don't judge people. If you tell me about some stupid thing you did when you were 12 and haven't told anyone else, I won't look at you differently.

- I don't dress bad. I don't dress good etiher, but lets look at it like this: I own NO jogging pants, NO shirts with sports team's logo, there are holes in NONE of them, and I wear silk boxer shorts.

- I'm a slacker when it comes to school/work, so I can focus all my attention on YOU!

- I have low self-esteem so I'll always be making fun of myself, and not you. Some find that charming, the insecure self-pity thing.

- I DON'T snap bra straps.

- I'm not a big sports guy, so I have no problem turning off the hockey game and watching "You've Got Mail."

- I use a lot of big words out of context. So basically, if you don't think about what they mean, I come across educated.

- I can give a good massage. That's the only sensual thing I do well. I'm telling you, my hands are paintbrushes and you're the canvas, baby.


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Old 08-04-2001, 09:09 PM   #2
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**Nominates this for best thread of the year**

~rougerum
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Old 08-04-2001, 09:16 PM   #3
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*seconds the nomination*

so, you're telling us this paragon of masculinity exists and is single?

-sula (name omitted for obvious reasons)
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Old 08-05-2001, 04:35 AM   #4
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wow,
if only I were gay
I would jump all over you

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Old 08-05-2001, 04:53 AM   #5
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TMI
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Old 08-05-2001, 01:47 PM   #6
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Pollux, you've obviously given this a lot of thought. But why do you want to convince us that you'd make a good husband?
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Old 08-05-2001, 02:13 PM   #7
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I have nothing better to do...
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Old 08-05-2001, 02:35 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by Pollux:

- I'm a slacker when it comes to school/work, so I can focus all my attention on YOU!
*lol* Way to turn a negative into a positive!

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Old 08-05-2001, 02:44 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by Pollux:
I have nothing better to do...
That line is garunteed to sweep a woman off her feet.


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Old 08-05-2001, 04:46 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by sulawesigirl4:
That line is garunteed to sweep a woman off her feet.
Are you hitting on me?

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Old 08-05-2001, 05:05 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally posted by Pollux:
I can give a good massage. That's the only sensual thing I do well. I'm telling you, my hands are paintbrushes and you're the canvas, baby.

Do you rent out specific services? This is the only one I'm really interested in right now.

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Old 08-05-2001, 07:50 PM   #12
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Good one, Like O2!!!
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Old 08-05-2001, 10:25 PM   #13
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If you guys only knew who Pollux was......





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Old 08-05-2001, 10:29 PM   #14
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What if it turned out the woman was a lesbian and only recently became bisexual?
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Old 08-06-2001, 12:17 AM   #15
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i dunno, i thought it was kinda funny. dunno if it was meant to be interpreted as such...

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