The diary of a cat and a dog - U2 Feedback

Go Back   U2 Feedback > Lypton Village > Lemonade Stand > Lemonade Stand Archive
Click Here to Login
 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
 
Old 04-30-2002, 05:28 AM   #1
Jesus Online
 
Angela Harlem's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: a glass castle
Posts: 30,163
Local Time: 04:18 AM
The diary of a cat and a dog

EXCERPTS FROM A DOGS DIARY:

Day 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 pm - OH BOY! DAD! MY FAVORITE!


Day 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 pm - OH BOY! DAD! MY FAVORITE!


EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY:

DAY 183
My captors continue to taunt me with
bizarre little dangling objects. They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am
forced to eat dry cereal. The only
thing that keeps me going is the hope of
escape, and the mild satisfaction
I get from ruining the occasional piece of
furniture. Tomorrow I may eat
another houseplant.


DAY 184
Today my attempt to kill my captors by
weaving around their feet while
they were walking almost succeeded, must
try this at the top of the
stairs. In an attempt to disgust and
repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their
favorite chair ... must try this on
their bed.


DAY 185
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the
headless body, in attempt to make
them aware of what I am capable of, and to
try to strike fear into their
hearts. They only cooed and condescended
about what a good little cat I
was ... Hmmm. Not working according to
plan.


DAY 186
I am finally aware of how sadistic they
are. For no good reason I was
chosen for the water torture. This time
however it included a burning
foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick
minds could invent such a
liquid. My only consolation is the piece of
thumb still stuck between my
teeth.


DAY 187
There was some sort of gathering of their
accomplices. I was placed in
solitary throughout the event. However, I
could hear the noise and smell
the foul odor of the glass tubes they call
"beer". More importantly I
overheard that my confinement was due to MY
power of "allergies." Must
learn what this is and how to use it to my
advantage.


DAY 188
I am convinced the other captives are
flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog
is routinely released and seems more than
happy to return. He is obviously
a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has
got to be an informant, and
speaks with them regularly. I am certain he
reports my every move. Due to
his current placement in the metal room,
his safety is assured.
But I can wait, it is only a matter of
time...

------------------
I don't think you're ready for this jelly
__________________

__________________
Angela Harlem is offline  
Old 04-30-2002, 05:34 AM   #2
Rock n' Roll Doggie
 
Calluna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Cloud Cookoo Land
Posts: 3,542
Local Time: 10:18 AM
good one, ang!

------------------
We plants are happy plants.
__________________

__________________
Calluna is offline  
Old 04-30-2002, 05:49 AM   #3
you are what you is
 
Salome's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 22,016
Local Time: 06:18 PM
that cat sounds like s/he has some issues

------------------
Salome
Shake it, shake it, shake it
__________________
Salome is offline  
Old 04-30-2002, 07:05 AM   #4
New Yorker
 
christiana's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Hong Kong
Posts: 2,703
Local Time: 01:18 AM
LOL... Gotta love the cats' attitude!! *Miao*
__________________
christiana is offline  
Old 04-30-2002, 08:49 AM   #5
Thom's Bitch
 
bono_man's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,287
Local Time: 03:18 AM
lol AH! I think you just got right inside a cats head there! They are so evil...yet smart at the same time.

------------------
"Your sun so bright it leaves no shadows, only scars. Carved into stone on the face of earth"
- One Tree Hill

jonedwards80@hotmail.com
__________________
bono_man is offline  
Old 04-30-2002, 09:33 AM   #6
Halloweenhead
Forum Moderator
 
Bonochick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Cherry Lane
Posts: 40,816
Local Time: 01:18 PM
__________________
Bonochick is offline  
Old 04-30-2002, 09:58 AM   #7
New Yorker
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Los Angeles, CA USA
Posts: 2,551
Local Time: 10:18 AM
That's funny, and proof positive of why dogs are superior to cats.
__________________
pub crawler is offline  
Old 04-30-2002, 10:14 AM   #8
New Yorker
 
brettig's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: heehee, ask george
Posts: 3,194
Local Time: 12:18 PM
haha!

classic
__________________
brettig is offline  
Old 04-30-2002, 12:12 PM   #9
Blue Crack Addict
 
meegannie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Norwich, England
Posts: 15,798
Local Time: 05:18 PM
Hey! I just got this forward from my dad! Weird.
__________________
meegannie is offline  
Old 04-30-2002, 12:51 PM   #10
Rock n' Roll Doggie
VIP PASS
 
kobayashi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: the ether
Posts: 5,142
Local Time: 01:18 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by meegannie:
Hey! I just got this forward from my dad! Weird.
true true. i got it thrice in the past 4 hours
__________________

__________________
kobayashi is offline  
 

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:18 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Design, images and all things inclusive copyright © Interference.com