Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotameteaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenakitanata Su

[Axver]

Hooray, I'm finally onto catching up on THIS thread!

 

[Alisaura]

Because everything in the US is a conspiracy to confuse the rest of the planet, which prefers things to make sense.

Makes sense. ... or not.



*picks an option at random*

"Super united federated lightspeed jetpowered donkey express"...

 

[Axver]

they were what comes up on google when you search tubgirl. I can't believe you people have been on the internet for more than 7 minutes and not encountered tubgirl.

I have rather deliberately avoided encountering that. You are a terrible person. Thank fuck I didn't click the links.

 

[Axver]

If this IS your first time on the internet, by the way, welcome!

That line brings back good memories of Liechtenstein.

 

[Axver]

I'm kinda surprised Axver's not up yet.

I need more than six hours of sleep!

 

[Axver]

Yeah, let's tell U2. They may set up an impromptu concert in Washington. "Save the Tourist Benefit Show" featuring No Line On The Horizon, Mercy, and Flower Girl.

Maybe Exit too?

 

[Axver]

Are Steve Irwin jokes safe yet?

Even when he was alive, they weren't, just because they're never funny.

The Heath Ledger call was good. Tasteless, but good.

 

[Alisaura]

Maybe Exit too?

 

[the tourist]

I just had teriyaki....

 

[Alisaura]

I need to take a shower.... back later, maybe

 

[Axver]

Don't let the thread die, people.

 

[the tourist]

MY BUCKET LIST:

Most of us are probably aware of the upcoming feature film, Bucket List, starring Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson, America’s favorite old people. It seems to be a tug-at-your-heart little tale about a couple of old goons with terminal illnesses who decide to team up and do a bunch of things they’d been meaning to do before they died. In typical Hollywood fashion, this will probably entail 2 hours of cute family moments, old-people bonding time, a lonely regret scene in which one of the protagonists holds a high quality polaroid of a woman he forgot to tell “I love you” enough times, followed by a comfort scene when the other protagonist shows up, telling him he did his best and sometimes you gotta just let go, and let God. Rather than see the movie… I’ve decided to compose my own bucket list. This will be a less endearing list, with street grit and balls.

Walk up and mouth-slap somebody of importance with no provocation. Maybe either clergy or a district judge.

Wiz on someone from above. Not like, really high, just a couple feet about their head with an impish grin.

A similar action from a similar orifice… however not wiz.

Force a shirtless fat kid to wear 10lb ankle weights and run through a wheat field. The catch: I stand on a barstool and slingshot grapes at him.

Drag a garbage bag full of steaks behind my car for a few miles in a very busy part of town.

Have a box and a sign outside a grocery store advertising free kittens. When a kid walks over to see, I throw a wet cat on him and run off.

Trick someone into signing legal documents that give me ownership of them and their family.

Fill a handgun with blank shots, walk up to people on the street, and shoot at them in the face at point blank range… see if I can make them wet themselves.

Hold a huge Halloween charity banquet for mental illness sufferers. Invite hundreds of paranoid schizophrenics.

Tell a girl I’m in love with her as an April Fools prank. I’m aware that it’s been done… but I really want to create a Carrie.

Declare my property to be a sovereign nation. Surrender at the first sign of military or police action, but try and force the government to sign an internationally recognized treaty.

Fill a swimming pool with shaving cream, but paint the top to look convincingly like still water. Get someone to jump in.

 

[the tourist]

Don't let the thread die, people.

It will never die. Just stall.

 

[the tourist]

Back to the Tourist show?

 

[the tourist]

Weeee!

 

[the tourist]

I have a penis.

15d

 

[Axver]

Declare my property to be a sovereign nation. Surrender at the first sign of military or police action, but try and force the government to sign an internationally recognized treaty.

This is the best. I really need to get around to formally establishing Axverland.

 

[Axver]

I have a penis.

15d

You have a burnt penis.

 

[bono_man2002]

I have a penis.

15d

Awesome!



This might be my only post in this thread, but its good to see the whoreing is still going at full pace!

 

[the tourist]

This is the best. I really need to get around to formally establishing Axverland.

You really do.

 

[the tourist]

Awesome!



This might be my only post in this thread, but its good to see the whoreing is still going at full pace!

It's slowed down a lot.

 

[the tourist]

You have a burnt penis.

A big burnt penis.

 

[gvox]

MY BUCKET LIST:
9. Fill a handgun with blank shots, walk up to people on the street, and shoot at them in the face at point blank range… see if I can make them wet themselves.

10. Walk up and mouth-slap somebody of importance with no provocation. Maybe either clergy or a district judge.

I took the liberty of fixing your list (not sure if there were 10 or not, but you get the point). I think it would be imperative to do them in that specific order, if you intend to get the other 8 done at all.

Altho, that order could easily be reversed if you don't intend on dropping said weapon when the police arrive. In that case, you could bitch slap the judge, then pull out the gun and mimic shooting everyone in the face. And then of course, you'd die happy!

 

[Axver]

Awesome!



This might be my only post in this thread, but its good to see the whoreing is still going at full pace!

Hey Daniel, good to see you around!

Now hop on a train and bring me breakfast! Or lunch, as the case now is.

 

[bono_man2002]

It's slowed down a lot.

I guess people have social lives on the weekends

Its good to see these threads are most active when people should be at work!

Anyways, I'm outta here.......have we had the wetwang thread?

 

[the tourist]

You overthink things.

 

[the tourist]

I guess people have social lives on the weekends

Its good to see these threads are most active when people should be at work!

Anyways, I'm outta here.......have we had the wetwang thread?

It's only Friday though.

 

[Axver]

You really do.

It would be a rather small country right now, but I have world domination plans. And an army of penguins.

 

[bono_man2002]

Hey Daniel, good to see you around!

Now hop on a train and bring me breakfast! Or lunch, as the case now is.

I could actually come over as my girlfirend is working, but I can't be bothered with the big train ride today.

Maybe again in a couple of weeks time...

See you guys tomorrow at some stage

 

[Axver]

I guess people have social lives on the weekends

Its good to see these threads are most active when people should be at work!

Anyways, I'm outta here.......have we had the wetwang thread?

What do I keep telling you people about social lives?

Wetwang should be done in the coming days.