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Old 03-30-2003, 10:59 AM   #1
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Randooooooom Caddyshack Lines...

So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one---big hitter, the Lama---long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consiousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.
-Carl Spackler
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Old 03-30-2003, 11:03 AM   #2
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"ill take 2 of those, one of those, some of those naked lady tees over there, fix my man Wang up with the whole package......."
"wow, check out that hat, sheesh, I bet you get a free bowl of soup when you buy that hat"......(looks at Smails)....."but it looks great on you"......

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Old 03-30-2003, 11:04 AM   #3
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ho... last time i saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it
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Old 03-30-2003, 11:25 AM   #4
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i want a cheeseburger, i want a hotdog, i want,......

you'll have nothing and like it Spaulding!


Say, Danny, if youre not doing anything on Saturday, im having a little christening over at the yacht club,........how'd you like to mow my lawn?
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Old 03-30-2003, 11:34 AM   #5
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hahahoohoo... okay pookey
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Old 03-30-2003, 01:14 PM   #6
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"I don't think the heavy stuffs gonna come down for a while yet"

"No, Danny, that man was my college roommate, Mitch Cumstein"

"Wanna tie me up with one of your ties Ty?"
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Old 03-30-2003, 01:17 PM   #7
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"dont sell yourself short judge, youre a tremendous slouch"

"wait a second, if we kill all the golfers wont they lock us up and throw away the key?"
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Old 03-30-2003, 02:52 PM   #8
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We're all gonna get laid!!!

It's still good (eats Baby Ruth/crap)
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Old 03-30-2003, 04:27 PM   #9
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This crowd has gone deathly silent. The cinderella story, outta nowhere, a former greenskeeper, now about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac, it's in the hole!It's in the hole!
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Old 03-30-2003, 07:55 PM   #10
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How do you spell Na-na-na-na-na-nah?

(The sound Chevy makes when he putts)
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Old 03-30-2003, 08:00 PM   #11
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be the ball... be the ball... danny, you're not being the ball.
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Old 03-30-2003, 08:27 PM   #12
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cannonball... cannonball comming
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Old 03-30-2003, 10:03 PM   #13
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Sandy: Carl I want you to kill all the gophers on the golf course
Carl Spackler: Correct me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers they'll lock me up and throw away the key.
Sandy: Not golfers, you great fool! Gophers, rodents! THE LITTLE BROWN, FURRY THINGS!
Carl Spackler: We can do that. We don't even need a reason.
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