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Old 01-01-2005, 11:10 PM   #16
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"Traveshamockery"
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:55 PM   #17
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This one is as funny as hell:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...245499-9087229

The Led Zeppelin thingy is the most hilarious thing I've ever read.
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Old 01-02-2005, 12:04 AM   #18
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the pitchfork review of atyclb was brilliantly hilarious.

which is a rarity for them, seeing as their pretentiousness makes even me gag half the time.
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Old 01-02-2005, 12:05 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally posted by yertle-the-turtle
This one is as funny as hell:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...245499-9087229

The Led Zeppelin thingy is the most hilarious thing I've ever read.
Ha! The Zep bit is great.BUT, I must correct the poor boy with the fact Zep never had sex w/ fish. They gave a live red snapper to a groupie who then did herself with it. I wonder if he'd appreciate Zep less knowing
the truth?
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Old 01-02-2005, 12:06 AM   #20
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How hard up do you have to be to have sex with fish?
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Old 01-02-2005, 12:21 AM   #21
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NO WAY! Hot Dog by Led Zeppelin just played on my playlist.
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Old 01-02-2005, 03:30 AM   #22
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Just a bit of a review (actually the overall review wasn't all that horrid, so it doesn't really fit here, but this bit was funny).

Quote:
And guitarist Peter Koppes’ asthmatically breathy vocals on “See Your Lights” are affected to an embarrassing degree.
Yep. So affected the reviewer didn't even know that Marty Willson-Piper was singing the damned song! Actually, it isn't my favorite song on the album.
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Old 01-02-2005, 07:03 PM   #23
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Unfortunately, my favorite negative review has nothing to do with music. Instead, it is Roger Ebert's review of Rob Reiner's "North" (1994):

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/...407220302/1023

"I have no idea why Rob Reiner, or anyone else, wanted to make this story into a movie, and close examination of the film itself is no help. "North" is one of the most unpleasant, contrived, artificial, cloying experiences I've had at the movies. To call it manipulative would be inaccurate; it has an ambition to manipulate, but fails."

...

"I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it."

I also think this is one of the few movies he's given zero stars for on his site.

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Old 01-13-2005, 03:30 PM   #24
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my fav. negative review is Nick Horby's of "Kid A." just an excerpt:

"... You have to work at albums like "Kid A." You have to sit at home night after night and give yourself over to the paranoid millennial atmosphere as you try to decipher elliptical snatches of lyrics and puzzle out how the titles ("Treefingers," "The National Anthem," and so on) might refer to the songs. In other words, you have to be sixteen. Anyone old enough to vote may find that he has competing demands for his time-a relationship, say, or a job, or buying food, or listening to another CD he picked up on the same day. ... "Kid A" demands the patience of the devoted; both patience and devotion become scarcer commodities once you start picking up a paycheck. ..."


it's one of the reasons why i prefer HTDAAB/ATYCLB to Zooropa/Pop.
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Old 01-13-2005, 04:51 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally posted by Irvine511
my fav. negative review is Nick Horby's of "Kid A." just an excerpt:

"... You have to work at albums like "Kid A." You have to sit at home night after night and give yourself over to the paranoid millennial atmosphere as you try to decipher elliptical snatches of lyrics and puzzle out how the titles ("Treefingers," "The National Anthem," and so on) might refer to the songs. In other words, you have to be sixteen. Anyone old enough to vote may find that he has competing demands for his time-a relationship, say, or a job, or buying food, or listening to another CD he picked up on the same day. ... "Kid A" demands the patience of the devoted; both patience and devotion become scarcer commodities once you start picking up a paycheck. ..."


it's one of the reasons why i prefer HTDAAB/ATYCLB to Zooropa/Pop.
that reviewer has to be kidding. kid a is hardly challenging.
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Old 01-13-2005, 06:47 PM   #26
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Hey Zoomerang96, if you picked up a paycheck like REAL people, you'd understand that people don't want to work at stuff, lyrics should be heart-tugging and immediately understandable by even the dimmest bulb in the box.
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Old 01-13-2005, 08:36 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally posted by Saracene

First of all, did any of you notice that about half of the songs utilize the SAME EXACT ascending vocal melody? That sorrowful "I was in Evita and now I've learned the importance of love and selflessness through the experience of motherhood" melody?
The Ray of Light review made me laugh. Out loud, even.
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Old 01-13-2005, 08:39 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kieran McConville
Hey Zoomerang96, if you picked up a paycheck like REAL people, you'd understand that people don't want to work at stuff, lyrics should be heart-tugging and immediately understandable by even the dimmest bulb in the box.
oh right, i guess i never saw that memo. thanks for the headsup.
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Old 01-13-2005, 09:24 PM   #29
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My favourite's a Clash one I heard in the Westway DVD from back in 1977 NME:

"The Clash are one of those garage bands that should be returned to the garage with the doors closed and the engines left running"
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Old 01-13-2005, 09:26 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally posted by bayernfc
My favourite's a Clash one I heard in the Westway DVD from back in 1977 NME:

"The Clash are one of those garage bands that should be returned to the garage with the doors closed and the engines left running"

Hahahaha

That one is terrible.....wait, why am I laughing?
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