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Old 07-25-2006, 12:40 AM   #1
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Music/Band Jokes....

I know that there was a Jokes contest a few months ago...I had a great time reading and laughing at these great jokes...I have some that I saved some time back...Some are lame some are crude but hopefully you'll get a giggle out of some

If you have any please share

Q: When did Paul McCartney write Silly Love Songs?


A: His entire career.
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Old 07-25-2006, 12:42 AM   #2
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Q: Why were the Byrds great?



A: They set Bob Dylan songs to music.
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Old 07-25-2006, 12:43 AM   #3
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Q: What does it take to get the Beatles back together?



A: Two bullets and a gun.




sorry!!
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Old 07-25-2006, 12:43 AM   #4
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Q. How does Bono screw in a lightbulb?

A. He puts his hand on it and the world revolves around him.

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Old 07-25-2006, 12:44 AM   #5
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Q : what has 9 arms and sucks?





A :: Def Leopard.



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Old 07-25-2006, 12:46 AM   #6
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Edge arrived at the pearly gates.

"What did you do when you were alive?" asked St. Peter.

"I was the lead guitarist of U2 "

"Excellent! We have a vacancy in our heavenly rock band for a guitarist. Why don't you turn up at the next rehearsal."

So, when the time for the next rehearsal arrived Edge turned up with his heavenly guitar. As he took his place God moved, in a mysterious way, to the mike. Edge turned to the angelic drummer and whispered, "So, what's God like as a singer?"

"Oh, he's O.K. most of the time, but occasionally he thinks he's Bono."
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Old 07-25-2006, 12:47 AM   #7
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A young Irish girl goes into her priest on Saturday morning for confession.

"Father, forgive me for I have Thinned."

"You've Thinned?"

"Yes, I met Adam of U2, we went out Friday night. He held me hand twice, kissed me three times, and made love to me two times."

"Daughter! I want you to go straight home, squeeze seven lemons into a glass, and drink it straight down."

"Will that wash away me Thin?"

"No, but it will get the silly smile off your face."
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Old 07-25-2006, 12:49 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by LemonMacPhisto
Q. How does Bono screw in a lightbulb?

A. He puts his hand on it and the world revolves around him.


That one is great!!!


here is my take::::


Q. How many members of U2 does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Four:
Bono writes a song asking for deliverance from the dark.

Larry says it doesn't matter if it's light or dark. He's the drummer. Chicks dig him.

Adam wonders if it's worth getting naked when no one can see him

Edge, the mechanical genius, finally changes the bulb.
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Old 07-25-2006, 12:50 AM   #9
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A musician dies and goes to heaven. He meets Jimi Hendrix, Elvis Presley, John Lennon - and then sees Bono flying by. "Hey," the musician says, "I didn't know Bono was dead!" "He's not," Elvis replies, "Thats God - He likes to pretend He's Bono!"
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Old 07-25-2006, 12:51 AM   #10
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Roger Waters, David Gilmour and Nick Mason were all (amazingly) killed at the same time, in freakish accidents, and were waiting outside the pearly gates. St. Peter comes gliding up to them and gives the news that anyone wishing to enter the gates must first perform a task to prove their worthiness.

The three have to cross a fast flowing river. They all stroll to the bank and look into the icy torrent, each stepping forward about 5 feet from each other. Nick immediately sinks and drowns as he is washed away, Roger and Dave both walk across the surface of the water and safely reach the other side, and the entrance to heaven. Dave looks guiltily at Roger and says "Do you think we should have told him about the stepping stones?" Roger looks back puzzled and says "What stepping stones?"
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Old 07-25-2006, 12:52 AM   #11
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There's a whole slew of drummer jokes here.
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Old 07-25-2006, 12:53 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by BonoFox1
Q : what has 9 arms and sucks?





A :: Def Leopard.



hey....that's so cruel
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Old 07-25-2006, 12:54 AM   #13
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Bono and The Edge are captured by cannibals one day. Before they are about to be cooked for dinner they are granted one final wish.

Bono says "Hand me a guitar and let me play SATS one last time...".

Edge says "Please kill me before he starts".
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Old 07-25-2006, 12:55 AM   #14
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Celine Dion walks into a bar and the bartender says, "what's with the long face"?
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Old 07-25-2006, 12:56 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally posted by Muggsy


hey....that's so cruel
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I did mention that some of these were crude
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