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The_Sweetest_Thing

MacPhisto's serving wench
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Hey guys. I got this in an e-mail, and thought it was pretty relevant for some of the people here. I was going to post it in my journal, but I think more people will see it (and hopefully relate to it) here. Maybe this is a ZC thread? I'm rambling, I'm tired....:wink:


BEING TWENTY - SOMETHING

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting ike an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

:hug:
 
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haha, when i read the title of this thread i thought i'd come in and mention something about 20 somethings going through a quarter life crisis, but you beat me to it.

its crazy, the only thing you've known for 20 years is going to school, and then you graduate and pretty much start a whole new life. within a few years you make most of the decisions that will determine the direction of the rest of your life.

you have to decide on a job which also determines where you will live, which may be the place you spend the rest of your life. and you are supposed to find your spouse, who theoretically will be with you the rest of your life. maybe even pop out a kid or 2 by 30. so the mid 20's are the most influential time of your life as it sets up your whole future.

im 22 and graduating coming up, its a little scary :huh:
 
:yes:

I went through my quarter-life crisis (I say "went" because I think I'm on the verge of being over it....I'll probably have another next year!!) early -- when I was 20/21 and had just gotten out of college. :crazy: It sucked. :down:
 
i related to every single thing in that e-mail. i know i am well in my quarter-life crisis right now. :crazy:

oh how i relate to all
[q]You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

:sigh:
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

:scream: :sad:
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. uh i am at the point where a one night stand does look pretty good and not cheap. hahaha! :eeklaugh: --->One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting ike an idiot starts to look pathetic. [/q]
 
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Chizip said:


you have to decide on a job which also determines where you will live, which may be the place you spend the rest of your life. and you are supposed to find your spouse, who theoretically will be with you the rest of your life. maybe even pop out a kid or 2 by 30. so the mid 20's are the most influential time of your life as it sets up your whole future.

im 22 and graduating coming up, its a little scary :huh:

A-freaking-men. I'm really feeling this right now. :sigh:
 
I have had quarterlifecrisis since the age 14.

I guess I won't live past 60.

:|
 
theSoulfulMofo said:
I have had quarterlifecrisis since the age 14.

I guess I won't live past 60.

:|


:ohmy: same here



*edit* i should probably include the fact that i'm still not 20 yet...
 
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I've been in one since 21 methinks. It happened when I realized how young everyone at college looked....very freaky realization.

Melon
 
As much as I want to scoff at this, I just can't. When I was 25 I found myself hating the job I had been so happy to get after graduating from college. I was constantly fighting with my supervisors and my co-workers. One day I would have a big chip on my shoulder and tell myself I was the one who was right and they were all a bunch of idiots, and the next day I would wonder if I was the one who was the idiot. (Looking back I think it was a little bit of both). I also remember how I would get together with my best friend from high school and realize we no longer had anything in common. Actually, that started happening long before I turned 25, but it was right around the time I hit 25 that we began to drift apart for good.

I can't say everything is perfect 10 years down the road, but I'm far more stable emotionally now than I was then. So there is hope!
 
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Yep, this sounds like me.
I'm a junior in college with one more year to go, and the fact that by next year, I'll be looking for a job (a real job, not part-time, pocket money job) and finding my way in the world, is beginning to freak me out. I don't think I am ready to do this, but it's going to happen soon, and semesters go by really fast, so I'll be job hunting before I know it. But I know I am not ready to do this. I'm seriously considering going to grad school to avoid this. Like I'll be avoiding the real world as much as possible.

I'm also thinking about spending up to a year travelling around the world, because I'm afraid I won't have to time to be free and have fun anymore. It's like once you get a full-time job, play ends, and work consumes your life.

And more thing, I am also having doubts about the major I chose. I'm wondering if its right for me, or did I make a mistake, or is this something I really want to do. But I think that's because I don't know exactly what I specifically want to do with that degree. You know, how you'll do the job you spent four years studying for.

Yeah, this is like a second adolescence, right? You're being forced to grow up and give up some of your identity you've been spending a couple years getting to know. And then, graduation hits and you're forced out of that cocoon you've grown accustomed to before you even think you are ready...and I am rambling right now. But I just wanted to get this off my chest.

But yeah, this is frightening for me. I know I'm being dramatic about this, but that's how it feels for me. It's becoming more of a reality as this semester ends, and the new one begins soon, then Spring comes...and Boom, everything's over.

:wave: Good luck everybody!
Perle
 
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I went through all of those things a couple years ago. That spring/summer seemed like sheer torture but it really forced me to take a look at myself and pull everything together. I think back to that time and cringe but at the same time I am kind of thankful that I went through it. It's true that I realized what true friendship was and really help find out my true character.
 
i remember exactly when my quarterlife crisis began... i was sitting in class the week after i turned 21, the prof was going on about how the average age of marrige in the united states was 25... and i started thinking to myself gee that's not that far off, i best get crackin'... and then i realized that for the first time in my life i'm closer to 30 than i am to 10... and that freaked the shit out of me... i had to get up and leave the class for some fresh air
 
Chizip said:

im 22 and graduating coming up, its a little scary :huh:

Yeah, I am in May and have been having panic attacks about it since last fall. I hate all of this, and am so sick of feeling this way.
Goddamn, I hope 30 comes quick. :sexywink:
 
Except for the whole bit about loving someone and loving someone else, one night stands and getting wasted, I can relate to all of that. Never had a one night stand, and it's been a loooong time since I've been wasted. But I definitely identify with the rest of that.

I think I hit my quarter-life crisis around 22 1/2.
 
Yikes....!

While it's sad that we've all felt this, it's also somewhat comforting to know we're not alone...

It seems most of you have had the 'crisis' after college....from what it looks like above.

I'm 20 now, and I think I've hit my mid-life crisis. I'm wondering how long it'll last...:sigh: Anxiety stinks.

When you think about how much is supposed to happen in your twenties, it's no wonder we all feel the way we do. In their twenties, so many of us are getting married, graduating, finding jobs/careers that are potentially supposed to last us until retirement...it's like, the beginning of the rest of your life. NO WONDER we're stressed!
 
Wow, that really hit the nail on the head. I don't think I've quite arrived at my quarter-life crisis yet (I'm 20), but I get the feeling that I'm on my way. With my junior year of college almost over I'm starting to get a little freaked out.

At least it's comforting to know that everyone goes through this- I guess it's just a part of life.
 
Headache in a Suitcase said:
i remember exactly when my quarterlife crisis began... i was sitting in class the week after i turned 21, the prof was going on about how the average age of marrige in the united states was 25... and i started thinking to myself gee that's not that far off, i best get crackin'... and then i realized that for the first time in my life i'm closer to 30 than i am to 10... and that freaked the shit out of me... i had to get up and leave the class for some fresh air


I do this kind of math ALL THE TIME!! :lol:
At 25.. I'm as close to 10 as I am to 40. :crack:
 
The_Sweetest_Thing said:
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

:| Ain't that the truth...
 
You know what... :lol: You think College graduation is hard... wait until you are 28. That's all I am saying.
 
I identify with almost all of this.

I guess it is good for you in the long run, but damn if it does not suck arse in the present. If i knew 7 years ago as much about myself as I do today i would have gone a very different route in school and career that is for sure.

27, single and all your friends getting hitched is a bit odd.
 
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