Once upon a time, Davie went for a long walk along the long road. But he wasnt wearing any shoes. Walking barefoot made him feel, uh, kind of diamond sexy. Then he saw a Jeep driving towards him at a great rate of knots!! Davie jumped out of the way and fell down a green, grassy slope. He then decided to smoke a fatty since he was bored out of his mind. This gave Davie the munchies so he walked 12 miles to the closest Taco Bell where he ran into the ghost of Frank Sinatra, who was devouring a chalupa. "Duuude, where did you get that wacked out chalupa, man?" Davie muttered, causing Frank to look down upon him with a rage of fired fury.
"I used to eat little mutts like you for breakfast" Frank bellowed,
"get the hell away from the chalupa!"
Then he motioned to one of his bodyguards to shoo Davie away. This enraged Davie so he decided to moon Mr Sinatra and his bogus bodygaurds.
Enraged by this blatant act of bravado and a typical story of messing with a celebrity, the bodygaurds picked up shoeless and now pantsless Davie and threw him in a garbage bin. 'Still better than AbraKebabra' - thought Davie, while chewing on an apple he found in the garbage bin - 'but why did I have to be so unlucky and meet Frankie instead of Elvis for crying out loud!!!!!!' As he walked on, Davie turned the corner and saw a really old man sitting on a one-legged stool, with enough room for three asses, wearing a tag saying 'A Lazy Old Fart' on it and muttering away to himself.........
But Davie was so bored, that he punched and kicked the old man to death, taking with him the "A Lazy Old Fart" tag. Briefly touching himself, Davie suddenly found himself incredibly aroused. As he turned the corner he saw a sign ?Sperm Donors Needed?, ?I can do this? he said, "Jesus H Christ, all I need is a pair of pliars and a blow torch and I'm money."
Figuring, what the hell, Davie walked in. The lady at reception was really helpful. She handed over an oxy welder and showed Davie to his room. As soon as he opened the door, he wondered if he had made a terrible mistake...
He couldnt believe it...he had lost his 'urgencey', he couldnt get it up!!
Feeling very woeful, he contemplated the oxy welder and his one legged stool. Deciding the welder may come in handy for something, he slipped out with it, the stool under his arm, out a door marked 'exit'. This is right about the time when Daisy showed up, and let me tell you baby, she wasn't no stool pigeon, though there was a soft, yet thick consistency to her own, mostly due to her penchant for ripe, luscious bananas -- and the many joys that they bring.
Still feeling woeful and ignoring Daisy and her luscious bananas, Davie stepped out onto the street, only to be hit by a Grace Bros removal truck.
"What a shit of a day" Davied proclaimed.
It was then that the driver of the newly dented truck came at Davie with a clawhammer.
Across the road, Mrs Miggins saw all this happening from the park bench where she sat every single morning, just watching the world go by...
