|02-12-2002, 07:00 PM||#1|
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Planet Pleba
Local Time: 10:40 AM
Healthy Level of Insanity!!!
How to keep a healthy level of insanity:
1) During your lunch time, sit down on your parked car, put some shadows on and aim a hairdrier at oncoming cars. See if they will reduce their speed.
2) Insist that your email is;
Xena.Warrior.Princess@nameofthecompany.com or Elvis.The.King@nameofthecompany.com .
3) Everytime somebody asks you to do something, ask him if he wants fries with it.
4) Encourage your classmates/co-workers to perform a synchronized musical chairs number.
5) Put your garbage basket on your table and write "Entry" on it.
6) Develop a weird fear of staplers.
7) Put some descaffeinated coffee into the coffee machine for three weeks. When everybody has overcome the caffeine addiction , change it over
8) In the stub of all your checks, write; "Ref. sexual favors".
9) Everytime someone tells you something, answer with "thats what you think".
10) End all your sentences with "according to the prophecy".
11) Adjust your monitor's brightness level til it illuminates all the work area. Insist with the others you like it that way.
12) Do not use punctuations.
13) As much as possible, jump instead of walking.
14) Ask people what sex they belong to. Laugh histerically after they answer you.
15) When you are in a drive-thru, specify it is a take-away order.
16) Sing together in the opera.
17) Go to a poetry recital and ask why do the poems do not rhyme.
18) Find out where your boss does his shoppings and buy the very same clothes. Wear them a day after your boss has his. This is specially effective if your boss is of the opposite sex.
19) Send e-mails for the rest of the company to tell them what you are doing. For example: "If someone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, cabin #3".
20) Put a mosquito net around your cubicle. Play a CD with jungle sounds all day long.
21) With five days in advance, tell your friends that you can't go into their party, cuz you are not in the mood.
22) Call 911 and never say a thing.
23) Make your co-workers call you by your nickname: Hard to Crack
24) When the money comes out of the eletronic cashier, scream.
25) When leaving the zoo, run in the direction of the parking site yelling "Save your souls, they are on the loose!!"
26) Tell your boss "These are not the voices inside my head".
27) During dinner time, tell your children: "due to our economic situation, we will unfortunately have to send one of you away".
28) Everytime you see a broom, scream "Honey, your mom is here!".
And a last recommendation for keeping a healthy level of insanity;
29) Send this email for all in your address list, even if they've asked you not to send emails like these, or have sent you this email as well.
Thanks Laura for this one, hee hee hee!!
Look...look what you've done to me...You've made me poor and infamous, and I thank you...
My name is MISS MACPHISTO...I'm tired and i want to go HOME...
"Well you tell...Bonovista,that i said hello and that my codename is Belleview" - Bono before opening night of Anaheim Elevation concert
Well tonight thank God it's them, instead of you...
|Thread Tools||Search this Thread|