What do you all think?

[starsgoblue]

Sidenote: It's girls like this that make guys so angry and hurt from this kind of relationship. And once you end up liking that guy that got hurt by the bitch, the guy is never ready for a relationship(with you) or acts like a complete asshole.

So very true.

 

[starsgoblue]

thanks again, well I was able to talk to her....and she says thats shes really hurt by what I had said about her caring about nothing but her sorority. she says she's not sure if she wants to break up, but she needs time to herself to think, and that she would call me when she's thought everything through. I told her that i was sorry and didnt mean it, and that i was just upset about my mom/work/her not seeming to care, that it just slipped out. but she said shes really hurt by what I said, and that its not true and she does care. She was on the phone crying the entire time, and I really think its genuine and that she really is hurt. i'm starting to think that maybe I made a mistake by thinking the way I did. I know her well enough to know that she'd never cheat on me, and I think I was foolish to think she didn't care. But I did go with what was happening this week, and admittedly, my stress and emotions over my mom and work took control. I don't know what to do. She means everything to me, and I just feel so alone now....

She is playing you like a fiddle. Can't you see how manipulative she is being? She's got control of everything here by saying those things....not good at all.

 

[MirrorballLemon]

i don't really see how she's being manipulative. I know she's in control. she's the one who's upset with me and is entertaining the idea of breaking up. i don't want it to happen, but it looks like it might

 

[starsgoblue]

She's not sure if she wants to break up and she has to "think about it and will get back to you"? After the shit she's been pulling and with the significant stress in your life already? Puh-leaze....gimme me a freakin break.

 

[WildHoneyAlways]

i don't really see how she's being manipulative. I know she's in control. she's the one who's upset with me and is entertaining the idea of breaking up. i don't want it to happen, but it looks like it might

She wants the best the best of both worlds. She is trying to manipulate you. She turned it around right away. She blames what you had to say about the sorority on her actions. Sorry, that wouldn't cut it with me. How does that explain staying out all night with another guy? She got you to apologize when it should have been her apologizing.

 

[U2Girl1978]

All young chickadees, especially those in a sorority, want to be bad and dirty whores. They all yearn to be in the Girls Gone Wild videos.

 

[U2Girl1978]

i don't really see how she's being manipulative. I know she's in control. she's the one who's upset with me and is entertaining the idea of breaking up. i don't want it to happen, but it looks like it might

So it's alright with you that she stayed out with another guy? Come on! She's playing games. Stop looking through rose colored glasses and wake up. I'm not trying to be mean but I really hate when people get hurt like this.

So let's see:

1. She went out allll night with another guy even though she's in a relationship with you. Where's the respect??

2. She's in a sorority and it's consuming her life? Uh huh...She'd make time no matter what.

3. You are having family problems. If my boyfriend acted like how she acted he'd be out the door no questions asked. Your girlfriend is being selfish plain and simple but she's making excuses so she won't look like the fall guy here.

4. She's suggesting you break up after you needed comfort and you apologized because of her being selfish.

Seriously....look at the facts and stop making excuses.

I apologize if I offended you but like I said I hate to see people get hurt.

 

[MirrorballLemon]

I just went out with my best friend, and she said the same things you just said U2Girl. alot of things are clearer now...she refuses to admit she was the wrong one here and is instead making me look like im in the wrong. However, I have to wonder if the reason she needs time to think and not talk to me is because she realized that she is being self-centered and is embarassed. Do you know what I mean? It's like she has her foot in her mouth because she avoided me all week and when she found out why I was down she didnt know what to say/think. So maybe she needs time to reflect and examine herself. That doesnt make what she did right by any means, but if thats the case, then maybe she'd change. I'm just looking at all possibilites here, but hearing this all from my best friend really was a slap in the face. (if she would just realize that I'm the guy she's looking for I'd date her in a second...but thats a whole nother story ;-) ) I'll see what happens if/when she decides to talk to me again and go from there. My friend put it best...she said "there's common sense, and then there's the heart" I'm just really hurt by this. really, really hurt.

BTW, When I called my friend and said "hey, can we go out for coffee?, the first thing she said is "what's wrong?" she knew right away i was upset, and she was willing to sit down, talk, and listen. Like i said, if she'd just wisen up and realize I'm her guy, I'd date her in a heartbeat.

 

[U2Girl1978]

I'm sorry that you are hurt. It sucks. The first thing you need to do is just finish(?) what's going on with the first girl. If you start thinking about your friend, she's going to feel like a rebound. Take some time for yourself.

 

[MirrorballLemon]

oh i know. I'm just kinda kidding....we're really good friends, nothing more. We don't stay out until all hours of the morning though I know it's probably going to take a while to make the sting go away if/when we break up, regardless of what everyone says, it still really hurts. The reason I brought up my friend and said that I would go after her is because unlike the other woman in my life, she actually and genuinely cares and is concerned for me. I said it merely for comparassion.

 

[Windmilllane]

^

You found your soul mate. Dump Girl No. 1 and go for your friend.

 

[MirrorballLemon]

^

You found your soul mate. Dump Girl No. 1 and go for your friend.

Gahhh I wish! This girl has so many guy problems, and then she comes to me and says "i wish i could find a guy thats like you" and im like "HELLO!" she's everything a guy could possibly want and more...believe me when i say this, but i am not worthy of a woman like that. she's a great, great friend though

 

[JMScoopy]

All young chickadees, especially those in a sorority, want to be bad and dirty whores. They all yearn to be in the Girls Gone Wild videos.

God i hate those Girls Gone Wild commercials. Put your tits away, nobody gives a shit. and when they screech that WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! it makes me wanna cut my ears off. anybody who thinks those girls are "real girls" and not models is a dumbass.

i wouldnt say ALL young girls do this, but definatly more than not.

 

[fly so high!]

You know! I said that very thing to my friend once!

We are now married and have 2 great kids!

 

[MrBrau1]

Considering your current family situation, she should drive up to see you.

 

[hiphop]

p.s. Long distance can work for longer than a couple months if you really want it to. Emphasis on the if you want...

right. Ive heard of people who were in long distance relations for 8 or more years.

 

[hiphop]

I just went out with my best friend, and she said the same things you just said U2Girl. alot of things are clearer now...she refuses to admit she was the wrong one here and is instead making me look like im in the wrong. However, I have to wonder if the reason she needs time to think and not talk to me is because she realized that she is being self-centered and is embarassed. Do you know what I mean? It's like she has her foot in her mouth because she avoided me all week and when she found out why I was down she didnt know what to say/think. So maybe she needs time to reflect and examine herself. That doesnt make what she did right by any means, but if thats the case, then maybe she'd change. I'm just looking at all possibilites here, but hearing this all from my best friend really was a slap in the face. (if she would just realize that I'm the guy she's looking for I'd date her in a second...but thats a whole nother story ;-) ) I'll see what happens if/when she decides to talk to me again and go from there. My friend put it best...she said "there's common sense, and then there's the heart" I'm just really hurt by this. really, really hurt.

BTW, When I called my friend and said "hey, can we go out for coffee?, the first thing she said is "what's wrong?" she knew right away i was upset, and she was willing to sit down, talk, and listen. Like i said, if she'd just wisen up and realize I'm her guy, I'd date her in a heartbeat.

ok after all you got good friends who tell you where you´re at.

really, you would have bought that shit and blamed it all on yourself. you´re just too friggin´ nice.

another question: if you want to date your friend/ other girls anyway, are you sure you still love your girlfriend?

 

[MirrorballLemon]

i do have a lot of good friends, and then everyone here who's been pretty supportive too. and believe me i do really appreciate it.

to answer your other question, i don't want to date my friend/other girls. i want to keep dating the girl i'm with now.

its pretty clear what I have to do. I'm just going to wait and see what she says if/when she decides to talk to me. In the mean time, I'm not going to sit at home and say "oh why, oh why isn't she talking to me. I'm going on with my life, focusing my time on my family right now, and I'm going to continue what I've been doing. I'm going to go out with my friends, have a great time with them, and not let this whole thing with her run my life. I have other, vastly more important priorities than her right now. If she calls me up and, hypothetically speaking, admits she made a mistake by acting the way she did, and seems really sincere about it, then maybe, maybe we can work everything out. I doubt thats going to happen though. My money is on she calls me in a few days and breaks it all off, which, though I don't want it, is probably best.

 

[hiphop]

Yep, that sounds realistic.

I´m sorry, it is always difficult to let go when you love someone.

 

[cell]

good luck in everything, ML.

 

[MirrorballLemon]

so i spoke to her briefly this morning, and she said that she wants to break up and needs time. she said she'd call me later tonight and we could talk some more. any suggestions as to what i should say? remember, I'm not really wanting to break up with her, so I don't want to say anything particularly mean or offensive. basically, is there anything i should say that maybe will make her ease up on her stance???

 

[girlhappy]

Oh,my God. Do you REALLY want to be with thaT moral creep?
I am sorry for being rough (i have one on the side myself)so i can understand in a way but she suppose to be your first support .
I am sorry, i feel disgust toward people like that

 

[MirrorballLemon]

i think what i'm going to say when we talk tonight will be something along the lines of:
"listen, i wish things could be different, but they can't. i know you care about me and my family, and I know that had you known about my mom earlier you would have acted differently but this is by no means a reason to break up. i wish i could take back what i said about you not caring, and i hope that you wish you could take back what you did too. we can easily make this right. This was just a miscommunication on both our parts. I should have told you about my mom sooner, and I'm sorry I didn't. But the reason I was upset with you and said the things I said was because it was so hard for me. To learn my mom is sick like this really hurt, and then when you didn't listen that hurt even more. I know you were busy this week, but I really wish you would have just sat down and let me tell you instead of being in a hurry to get off the phone with me."

how does that sound? I know im being apologetic, but I'm sure what i said did hurt her...

 

[indra]

i think what i'm going to say when we talk tonight will be something along the lines of:
"listen, i wish things could be different, but they can't. i know you care about me and my family, and I know that had you known about my mom earlier you would have acted differently but this is by no means a reason to break up. i wish i could take back what i said about you not caring, and i hope that you wish you could take back what you did too. we can easily make this right. This was just a miscommunication on both our parts. I should have told you about my mom sooner, and I'm sorry I didn't. But the reason I was upset with you and said the things I said was because it was so hard for me. To learn my mom is sick like this really hurt, and then when you didn't listen that hurt even more. I know you were busy this week, but I really wish you would have just sat down and let me tell you instead of being in a hurry to get off the phone with me."

how does that sound? I know im being apologetic, but I'm sure what i said did hurt her...

Honey, what she said hurt you too. You have to do whatever works for you, but if someone said to me what your girlfriend said to you when you told her about your mother, I would never speak to or deal with that person again. Ever.

Even most casual acquaintances would be more sympathetic to your feelings than she has been. And to say that you made her feel so bad would be laughable if it wasn't so despicable.

 

[hiphop]

you should probably find out why she wants to break up before you start being apologetic for nothing.

 

[cell]

its very hard to reason with somoene who doesnt want to break up.

 

[girlhappy]

its very hard to reason with somoene who doesnt want to break up.

Very good point

 

[starsgoblue]

If your broke up (and I think her reasoning for breaking up with YOU is bullshit) then what is there to talk about really?

 

[MirrorballLemon]

If your broke up (and I think her reasoning for breaking up with YOU is bullshit) then what is there to talk about really?

thats a good question. ive been wondering the same thing. I think it's bullshit too. me tinks there's more to the story than she's letting on. she probably saw this as an easy way out....

im sorry everyone, I'm kind of going through the 4 stages of death right now: shock; denial; anger; acceptance. I'm in between denial and anger. I don't like to look like a sissy, and I know thats how I look now, but i'd hate for this to end without knowing i did everything I could to make sure it didnt. I'm one who fights for what he believes is right, and I dont think breaking up is right at all, unless, of course, there's another reason...but until she tells me what the reason is I'm going to fight it I guess.

 

[Chizip]

i think you should make a move on your friend