only the words "this time will pass" are left 4 me

[sharry_lt]

oh!how i hate to be "a bleeding hearts club", but i don't know...maby i shouldn't say anything...'cause who is interested in my troubles anyway...but it's so hard 4 me just to keep it all in my heart, without telling anyone...help me...'cause i'm very confused...

My story goes on like this:
all my life i've never had a person, whom I could call "a friend"...and suddenly, this summer i've met him!he was just the person i was looking 4 for so long-interesting, funny, he understood me, listened to me, took me out of my room to the real life of the city...it's hard to describe, but he was a person that tought me to be sociable, showed me the life, i've never dreamed of.he wasn't my boyfriend-no...or at least not A REAL one...well he used to tell me, that he loved me...we never really kissed, cause i wasn't sure, if i love him...all those words from him and etc came just too quickly 4 me...and i never thought that i loved him...however it was so nice when he was around...
it's difficult to say...
however, a month ago he told me something like "u know i should like to call a quit for that, what's going on between us..."
then i felt like the ground slipped away from my feet...i never looked at him as a boyfriend...only a friend-a REAL friend...a friend who will be long lasting...always by my side...and now?
what now?
it's a month gone from then but i still can't forget him!!!i can't...maby that was too unexpected...but it so hurts...i just don't know-was that love, if i still remember him...i thought that in a month or so i would have forgotten him and everything would have been just like it was before meeting him...but...BUT.
HE WAS MY only friend...but was he a frien at all?what to do-how to heal the pain i still feel, how to forget him..?

it sounds so simple...but 4 me it's very complicated...hard...and painfull...i BELIEVED he was the one i waited 4 for so long...but he only said bye bye and good luck!!...and left me there alone...however i can't blame him-if he just got bored from me, it was a right thing 4 him to do-to leave me...and my pain is my own problem...but he lied to me!he lied to me that he loved me!

i'm so messed up and so confused...

 

[Sicy]

Real friends just dont disappear like that.

 

[bono-vox]

What Sicy said

Maybe he meant he loved you as a friend? But maybe he was a mean person who just lied to you

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

Real friends just dont disappear like that.

 

[meegannie]

I agree with Sicy. Real friends don't lie to you and they don't leave you.

 

[famous rungi]

He sounds confused.

 

[sharry_lt]

thank u all for writing-u really helped me a lot!it's really nice to feel that someone is interested in my troubles.thank u.After reading what u wrote i took a good look at that what happened to me, and i see everything from other point of view now.from a better one.it's a good lesson 4 me-i shouldn't trust in people so undoubtedly.
thank u

 

[Ana]

All I have to say is that you're young and you'll meet lots of people [and men] that will listen and care for you. And besides, you maybe don't know this but, we all have someone who loves and appreciates us
Best wishes!

 

[The_Sweetest_Thing]

Sweetie,

Sounds like he's the one who's confused. Maybe he thought of you as more than a friend???

But as everyone said, he's not a real friend if he just left. Have you talked to him at all?

:hugs:

 

[cass]

I'm no expert, that is for sure

but I read your story and I want to respond. Knowing your age may have slightly influenced my response, maybe not.
It happens mate. So many people have unrequited love...a lot of yearning goes on. If you are young, than what Ana said, there will be opportunities to prosper in love. I do not know th ecircumstance at all, he may have had something in his life that he could not tell you about. it may not be that he didn't love you, it may be that he DOES love you. Some people aren't meant to be together.
So you have been outside the room and enjoyed it
Venture out again, put yourself in the situation to find other people. Be brave.
Like I said I don't much about why love can hurt so much like it does at times. You are not messed up, just the situation hurt you. forum boards are a good place to Free Your Mind heart and soul at times.
sharry It

I had this mental picture once that helped...wish i had a scanner

A box with the word "relationship" written in the middle.
A box, same size ,without the word "relationship'..empty.

another box, the same size, divided into 9 squares, filled with things you feel are important
family,hobby, contribution, alone time,friends, personal growth, work/school, relationship..

same box, minus the word "relationship" it is still almost full.

I hope you know what I mean.

someone here gave me a hand, they gave the words and the ideaRise Up all the best

 

[ABEL]

 

[sharry_lt]

Sweetie,

Sounds like he's the one who's confused. Maybe he thought of you as more than a friend???

But as everyone said, he's not a real friend if he just left. Have you talked to him at all?

:hugs:

well, he used to tell me, that he loved me...i believed him...but maby didn't take it too seriously...i mean i tried to give him all he wanted from me, but...i just wasn't sure, if i loved him too...but he was so nice...MY GOD how i should like to forget him!
he wasn't a real friend?maby.but the fact that i used to think, that he was one, and now...after he left me.just i got used to him as a friend, i trusted him...and i was very shocked, when he said he wants to call a quit.it was just too unexpected.

have i talked to him?well, i didn't actually said "hey!what's wrong?" or so on...i just thought that words have no power now.I looked sad and a few times he came to me and asked what was wrong, why did i look so depressed...I believe he knew quite well, why i'm sad.I just think, that he just didn't understand that he hurt me SO MUCH (he said smthng like that himself-he said that he believed there's no reason 4 me to be sad, that he didn't understand why i was like that).

as 4 now, he hasn't answered to my mail that i wrote a month ago, so i see no reason to write him...and as 4 talking with him eye to eye-about what should we talk?i don't think he would be interested in anything i said to him.
besides it's hard 4 me even to see him, but to talk with him...

 

[sharry_lt]

Re: I'm no expert, that is for sure

Knowing your age may have slightly influenced my response, maybe not.
It happens mate. So many people have unrequited love...a lot of yearning goes on. If you are young, than what Ana said, there will be opportunities to prosper in love. I do not know th ecircumstance at all, he may have had something in his life that he could not tell you about. it may not be that he didn't love you, it may be that he DOES love you. Some people aren't meant to be together.
I had this mental picture once that helped...wish i had a scanner

A box with the word "relationship" written in the middle.
A box, same size ,without the word "relationship'..empty.

another box, the same size, divided into 9 squares, filled with things you feel are important
family,hobby, contribution, alone time,friends, personal growth, work/school, relationship..

same box, minus the word "relationship" it is still almost full.

I hope you know what I mean.

someone here gave me a hand, they gave the words and the ideaRise Up all the best

he still loves me?this thought really flashed once in my mind, but...hes a kind of Don Juan type...he MAY have loved me once-if that was love, not a lie, but to love after leaving?i think he's just not that kind of person.He likes to get what he wants.before me, he has known many girls.I just was a person, he wnted to conquer...and after he thought he did, he got bored with me.well, that's what i think.
But do you think i loved/love him?do i?..does this kind of long time thinking about a person means love?i really can't forget him...
it's funny-once he said to me, that he wanted me to think about him 24 hrs a day.then i only smiled-i couldn't say anything, because i wasn't thinking about him that much.and that's funny-only after we seperated i started thinking of him more that 24 hrs a day!..
some people aren't meant to be together?WHY?!
thank u, cass, for the description of the picture...i even drawed it in my notebook(as i imagine it from your description).
but how to get him out of my head?what should i do?...oww...about 2 months passed since he left me, but i can't stop thinking abot him...I HATE IT, cause it hurts!what to do?and is this love?..
but it's very unfair, that there are so pain associated with love in the world...that was the 1st time in 16 years i met such a guy, i could (even if only 4 a month or two) call a friend...that's why it looks a bit difficult to find another one so easily...
but how can i say that!he left me!he is cruel(is he?)!..but anyway it was so nice with him, and now i'm all alone again...please, help me, tell me what went wrong, is this love, what to do, to forget him, was he really cruel, or was that my fault he left me..?

 

[cass]

hello Sharry,
I wish I had some answers for you.
LOVE? it can be so wonderful and so confusing.
Time does pass and heal wounds..if you let it. Try to let it.
I can't help, only suggest you keep asking friends for advice and support thru the tough times and find joy within yourself. There is always some risk involved in giving someone your heart....you can never know what they will choose to do with it. If they make the right choice...the rewards are great.
You can't change another person's behaviour, you can express your feelings to them( and you should), but you can't change their response. The only thing you can change is your reaction to their behaviour. I don't think I'm making sense anymore...if I ever did!!

AllI can do is wish you love and luck and peace of heart and mind.
Onwards and upwards

 

[sharry_lt]

i really feel a lot better now...time IS healing.thank u all 4 helping