Need some lady advice

[Dr_Macphisto]

So I have been dating this girl for 2.5 years. I am now 19 and we both graduated High School and are now in college.
But, we have fallen on hard times recently. Back in high school, I was always so worried about fitting in that sometimes I wasn't the greatest boy friend and I sometimes neglected and didn't treat her properly. I love her to death, but I guess I didn't show it properly.
Now that I am out of that hell hole called high school, I feel that I have grown leaps and bounds maturity-wise. We are currently on a "break" though, one that is tearing me apart inside. She said she has just been hurt too many times in the past. I feel like the biggest asshole. I can't stand the fact that I singlehandedly ruined the best thing to ever happen to me. I have had a crush on her since we were in like the second grade, and it kills me to know that I might have ended it all.
We haven't "officially" broken up, and hopefully we don't, but I wouldn't be surprised it she did. She deserves all the finest!
Can anyone give me some advice?

 

[A_Wanderer]

I tell you this as someone who has been in a similar position, I hope your not just looking for some kind words.

If you truly love the girl lay it out on the table fully. You seem to feel remorse for being foolish in the past - that says that you dont want to loose the girl and that you feel responsible.

Tell her, if there is someone out there that you truly love and who loves you back, it is worth saving.

Be honest, take responsibility, get this in the open and for the love of God dont repeat whatever you have done before because it sounds like you are beyond second chances.

Hope everything works out for the best.

 

[nbcrusader]

Open, honest conversation.

But remember, you're still young. This may be the right relationship long-term, just not today. Forcing it may not be the right thing.

 

[Liesje]

Are you at the same college?

 

[bonosloveslave]

Talking is important, but remember that actions speak louder than words, you need to *show* her that you have changed.

 

[Dr_Macphisto]

nah... but we go about 45 minutes apart. not too big of a deal

 

[U2democrat]

as a girl, i know that if were in her position i would be grateful if you were to, basically, spill your guts. let her know all of this. and as NBC said, she may be right for a long term relationship, just not right now. good luck though!

 

[dreamingoutloud1]

just talk to her like you're talking to us!!!

 

[HelloAngel]

Communication, honesty and apologies are key. Remember to listen to her when she starts to speak to you about past hurts without waiting for your turn to speak.

Seek to understand and then be understood.

 

[Mrs. Edge]

If you were to write her a letter that had all of what you just said in it, that would probably help enormously. Then you have to just give it time and show her that you really mean it.

 

[kobayashi]

sometimes conflicts are much better resolved via letter writing it seems. i don't do it, but i know of a family that deals with many serious conflicts arising between them via the written word.

if you've been trying to verbally express what you've stated here, try putting paper to pen, as mrs. edge suggested.

 

[carrieluvv]

writing her a letter is a great idea
but if she doesnt bite , dont fret, your a young guy and another love of your life is bound to come along and youll be more careful.

 

[carrieluvv]

upon reading your post again, you didnt describe what you did to ruin the relationship.
and being completely honest...
women have an evil way of making men think that things are all thier fault ....( its a mind game thing- were good at it)
its sounds like your really torn up though....a break would do some good...that way ya can BOTH gain perspective on things.