DaveC
Blue Crack Addict
I also posted this in my Journal, but it's going here too cause I'll probably get more views/replies here.
I've been going out with Pascale for about a month and a half now. Nothing has happened between the two of us past a little making out, and we never go anywhere because we're both students and are broke half the time.
And so for the past week or so, I've been thinking about breaking up with her. Things are getting boring and it's always the same thing, I'm finding that she's starting to nag at me a little bit (a pet peeve of mine). I just don't have the feelings for her that I think I should have almost 2 months into this. When I kiss her, I don't feel a connection anymore. So I'm thinking that things won't get any better, and that I should just end this now instead of waiting months in a relationship that I don't feel for the girl like I should, and end up hurting her more.
However, if I were to do that, I would feel like a mad scumbag. She's from northern New Brunswick (about a 10 hour drive away from here) and she's REALLY homesick right now. She hasn't seen her folks for more than 2 months and she's getting pretty lonely. She's got loads of friends in residence, but it's just not the same as home I guess. On top of all that, her aunt passed away a couple weeks ago, whom I guess Pascale was pretty close with. She's torn up by this now, and basically in a pretty glum mood all the time. She basically needs me right now as a shoulder to lean on. I'd feel like a dirtbag if I dumped her right now, and this would just accumulate what's going on. She's got lots of friends to help her out though, but still...
It's like I'm reminded of a line from Luminous Times every time I see her: "I love you cause I need to, not because I need you".
But I don't love her.
On top of all this, there's another girl. She's in my Astronomy 1450 class, and she's really cute. I've kinda had my eye on her whenever I've been in class all year, but never really had the time/balls to talk to her. Wel, this past Wednesday, l I went out to a meeting for the Arts & Social Sciences Society at my school, beacuse one of my colleagues on the History Society told me that the ASSS needed a First Year Rep, so I decided I'd be their rep.
I arrive at the meeting, and, lo and behold, Astronomy Girl is the Vice President of this society. Her name is Jenny, I find. After the meeting, everyone from the society is invited down to the campus pub to watch Game 7 of the ALCS and have free beer on the ASSS tab. I didn't drink (I'm underage, and if I had been caught it would have looked real bad on the society). But me and Jenny got to talking that night, and it turns out we have a lot in common. She's smart as all hell (which is sexy), she can play guitar (which is REALLY sexy), and she's one of the gentlest people I've ever met. I swear if Satan himself was in the room, she wouldn't have been able to bring herself to say a bad word about him. I didn't make any kind of move on her (I'm still with Pascale, and I won't do anything with Jenny if I'm still with Pascale, no matter how bad it gets). She did, however, do that thigh touch/slap thing when we were talking. Is that a sign of interest...?
Anyways, I see her every second day in my Astronomy class, so I say hi and chat with her every time I see her now.
Half of me is saying to break up with Pascale, bail out of a relationship I know is doomed to failure, and move on and give it a go with Jenny.
The other half is saying that Pascale needs me right now and that I'd be a scumbag if I were to break up with her now.
I gotta say that Jenny's been in my head for the past 4 days constantly, and I haven't even barely thought of Pascale recently.
So what do I do?
Do I bail on Pascale (a relationship doomed to failure), and try and see if I can work something with Jenny?
Or do I stick with Pascale for the time being, at least until she's in a better situation, but possibly lose any window of opportunity I may have with Jenny?
Urg. I just want to lay down and die.
I've been going out with Pascale for about a month and a half now. Nothing has happened between the two of us past a little making out, and we never go anywhere because we're both students and are broke half the time.
And so for the past week or so, I've been thinking about breaking up with her. Things are getting boring and it's always the same thing, I'm finding that she's starting to nag at me a little bit (a pet peeve of mine). I just don't have the feelings for her that I think I should have almost 2 months into this. When I kiss her, I don't feel a connection anymore. So I'm thinking that things won't get any better, and that I should just end this now instead of waiting months in a relationship that I don't feel for the girl like I should, and end up hurting her more.
However, if I were to do that, I would feel like a mad scumbag. She's from northern New Brunswick (about a 10 hour drive away from here) and she's REALLY homesick right now. She hasn't seen her folks for more than 2 months and she's getting pretty lonely. She's got loads of friends in residence, but it's just not the same as home I guess. On top of all that, her aunt passed away a couple weeks ago, whom I guess Pascale was pretty close with. She's torn up by this now, and basically in a pretty glum mood all the time. She basically needs me right now as a shoulder to lean on. I'd feel like a dirtbag if I dumped her right now, and this would just accumulate what's going on. She's got lots of friends to help her out though, but still...
It's like I'm reminded of a line from Luminous Times every time I see her: "I love you cause I need to, not because I need you".
But I don't love her.
On top of all this, there's another girl. She's in my Astronomy 1450 class, and she's really cute. I've kinda had my eye on her whenever I've been in class all year, but never really had the time/balls to talk to her. Wel, this past Wednesday, l I went out to a meeting for the Arts & Social Sciences Society at my school, beacuse one of my colleagues on the History Society told me that the ASSS needed a First Year Rep, so I decided I'd be their rep.
I arrive at the meeting, and, lo and behold, Astronomy Girl is the Vice President of this society. Her name is Jenny, I find. After the meeting, everyone from the society is invited down to the campus pub to watch Game 7 of the ALCS and have free beer on the ASSS tab. I didn't drink (I'm underage, and if I had been caught it would have looked real bad on the society). But me and Jenny got to talking that night, and it turns out we have a lot in common. She's smart as all hell (which is sexy), she can play guitar (which is REALLY sexy), and she's one of the gentlest people I've ever met. I swear if Satan himself was in the room, she wouldn't have been able to bring herself to say a bad word about him. I didn't make any kind of move on her (I'm still with Pascale, and I won't do anything with Jenny if I'm still with Pascale, no matter how bad it gets). She did, however, do that thigh touch/slap thing when we were talking. Is that a sign of interest...?
Anyways, I see her every second day in my Astronomy class, so I say hi and chat with her every time I see her now.
Half of me is saying to break up with Pascale, bail out of a relationship I know is doomed to failure, and move on and give it a go with Jenny.
The other half is saying that Pascale needs me right now and that I'd be a scumbag if I were to break up with her now.
I gotta say that Jenny's been in my head for the past 4 days constantly, and I haven't even barely thought of Pascale recently.
So what do I do?
Do I bail on Pascale (a relationship doomed to failure), and try and see if I can work something with Jenny?
Or do I stick with Pascale for the time being, at least until she's in a better situation, but possibly lose any window of opportunity I may have with Jenny?
Urg. I just want to lay down and die.
my 2 cents
- browsing Lemonade Stand.
