I'm extremely shy about my body

[u2bonogirl]

Does anybody else feel so shy about their body that sometimes it makes it hard to be around people?
I cant wear shorts that show too much thigh, so I mainly stick with pants even in hot weather

Sometimes it makes me feel better to have my hands covered up even if Im wearing short sleeves so I cross my arms or stick my hands in my pockets
I pull my long sleeves over my hands, and cut thumb holes in the cuffs so I can grip my sleeves

Im nervous about showing cleavage to anybody but my significant other because Im afraid people will notice it and see only that. And it makes me feel overly exposed to have it hanging out there. Theres a rare occasion where I'll show it off but not usually

I hate my butt and I dont like wearing anything really tight on it.
Its a size bigger than the rest of me so its....prominent

Sometimes when Im feeling self conscious in public I have to put on a sweatshirt even if Im way too hot in it. Especially when Im around people I dont know very well, or in big crowds.

Theres no way Im wearing a short shirt that shows my tummy

And its impossible to get me out in public in a bathing suit without some form of protection whether it be board shorts, a sarong, or a towel

Is this abnormal? theres got to be others out there that are as weird as me about their bodies
Right?

 

[the soul waits]

I used to be like that, but I've competed in fitness for the past 5 years, so you have to get on stage in a tiny bikini and a gymnastics-outfit to do your routine, so I had to get over that
Even though I was superlean before a contest, I still felt fat right before I got on stage. Mental health, anyone?

Got better with the years but I'm still self-conscious.
I think it's a psychological thing rather than a physical thing.
It's between the ears and all that.

 

[u2bonogirl]

I realize now that its between the ears when I can have an acceptable body in my mind one moment, and then five minutes later be 15 lbs heavier

Eeeek! little bikini in front of people?

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

I'm like that too, I think most of it is in one's head. At a certain point you have to say who cares about what anyone else thinks.

I think modesty about your body is healthy, but when you are too focused on your body and what you perceive about it it's unhealthy and not good for your self esteem.

I'm sure your body looks fine, enjoy it now before age and gravity take their tolls

I think in general people are too concerned w/ it. I admire people I see at the beach who can just wear a swimsuit and not care. I can't.

I don't think being self-conscious is "abnormal" but if you feel it's troubling you, maybe you could talk to someone about it I think it becomes a problem only if it's seriously disrupting your life.

 

[u2bonogirl]

It only disrupts my life to the extent that I completely dread summer
And I sometimes stress myself out over whether or not people are looking at me when Im eating and thinking Im a cow
I have a man that loves me very well and makes sure I know that he thinks Im beautiful.
I think this is something I will grow out of eventually...I hope!
He appreciates my modesty, and that theres things that he and he alone will be seeing aside from the dreaded doctor visit

 

[Liesje]

I was for a loooong time, but like the soul waits, gymnastics in high school cured me of that. I don't wear shorts either, but it's b/c at work we aren't supposed to and I can't wear a skirt b/c half the time, I'm messing with wires under peoples' desks or climbing up ladders. When I was younger, I was REALLY self concious when it came to bathing suits and the beach, but now I honestly just don't care anymore. I know I'm my own worst critic and I'm sure that's true for most people. I feel kinda lucky b/c I haven't grown any taller or really "developed" any since I was 14 so I've had 6 years to come to terms with my body the way it is and will be. Of course, I've gained weight after being done with gymnstics (god, I can't even say I "quit" gymnastics b/c I miss it so much), but what can you expect when you go from training 3 hrs a day to.....nada? Another funny thing that's helped me is like now when it's so hot out...it's just not worth having to cover your body and suffer through 90-100 degree temps inside the house, outside, in the car (I hath no AC anywhere). At night I'm usually walking around the house in a t-shirt and boy-cut undies (unless someone's bf is around).

 

[VertigoGal]

I was a swimmer until very recently and so I have the whole broad-shoulders, muscular thing, and I'm kinda self conscious about that. Like I feel manly and ugly in certain tank tops. Except I quit swimming, so now I feel like I'm getting fat. I mean I'm not fat, but I'm not skinny, I have the muscular build but I'm losing all the muscle.

I also wear my sweatshirt all the time. Even when it's really really hot out.

 

[u2bonogirl]

I'm going on my honeymoon in less than a week, and we're going to be where its really hot. we've decided were getting me guys cargo shorts so I dont die
And I have a couple skirts that are comfy and long enough to make me feel comfortable.

Part of my problem is I compare myself to what I used to be. Year round sports. Constant training. Then nothing.
Ack! I never had these little pudgy spots before
And Im 19 so Im getting used to my new womanly body with the curves and such.
Curves are good! I just need to keep telling myself that

 

[u2bonogirl]

I was a swimmer until very recently and so I have the whole broad-shoulders, muscular thing, and I'm kinda self conscious about that. Like I feel manly and ugly in certain tank tops. Except I quit swimming, so now I feel like I'm getting fat. I mean I'm not fat, but I'm not skinny, I have the muscular build but I'm losing all the muscle.

I also wear my sweatshirt all the time. Even when it's really really hot out.

Thats kind of what I went through too. I was always in sports and had a lot of muscle.
And Im just naturally muscularly built in some areas.
As my muscle went away my body got softer and it was really weird feeling
now i have little girly arms

 

[Liesje]

Part of my problem is I compare myself to what I used to be. Year round sports. Constant training. Then nothing.
Ack! I never had these little pudgy spots before
And Im 19 so Im getting used to my new womanly body with the curves and such.
Curves are good! I just need to keep telling myself that

Yes, for the first year of college, I was totally disgusted with myself and my body. I mean, I used to be ripped, 6-pack abs and all, I have my dad's "football" shoulders, and now everything's rounding off and I have a rolly poley stomach and and some love handles. I decided I would just have to deal. It wasn't enough weight where I had to buy new clothes, and if I no longer had the time and energy to put in the effort to train everyday, then what more could I expect. But, fuck it, does it really matter?

 

[u2bonogirl]

I know, my 6 pack went away. i was known for that thing

But apparently some cute little love handles can be a turn on
Im always poking the poofy thing I have going on with my tummy though

 

[VertigoGal]

u2bonogirl, that sounds exactly like me! I used to have a 6-pack too. now it's all soft and pudgy and when I'm sitting down I feel like my girth is hanging out over the top of my shorts...i'm always poking my stomach too

glad to see i'm not alone

 

[u2bonogirl]

not youre not! I think that was the point of this thread
I just wanted to put what I feel out there for anybody else who feels something like it.

 

[the soul waits]

I was a swimmer until very recently and so I have the whole broad-shoulders, muscular thing, and I'm kinda self conscious about that. Like I feel manly and ugly in certain tank tops. Except I quit swimming, so now I feel like I'm getting fat. I mean I'm not fat, but I'm not skinny, I have the muscular build but I'm losing all the muscle.

I also wear my sweatshirt all the time. Even when it's really really hot out.

I know how you feel-I was quite muscular competing in fitness, I quit competing 10 months ago and don't work out half as much since because I was so very burnt out by it all and am focussing on my professional carreer now. I've lost muscle, but still am broad-shouldered. I still have the high metabolism luckily but it's only a matter of time before that will fade as well, being 32 years old

It was weird at first to lose the shape I got from being so active and on a rigid diet 48 weeks out of the 52 a year but now I've learned to let that go for the most part.

 

[the soul waits]

Thats kind of what I went through too. I was always in sports and had a lot of muscle.
And Im just naturally muscularly built in some areas.
As my muscle went away my body got softer and it was really weird feeling
now i have little girly arms

LOL little girly arms-dittto here
Actually, that's what I LOVED after quitting competition and the rigid lifestyle that comes along with that- I felt more feminine in a dress and I had little-girl-arm-envy when I was sporting the biceps

I loved losing the muscle in some areas but in the bottom-area, not so much

 

[the soul waits]

Yes, for the first year of college, I was totally disgusted with myself and my body. I mean, I used to be ripped, 6-pack abs and all, I have my dad's "football" shoulders, and now everything's rounding off and I have a rolly poley stomach and and some love handles. I decided I would just have to deal. It wasn't enough weight where I had to buy new clothes, and if I no longer had the time and energy to put in the effort to train everyday, then what more could I expect. But, fuck it, does it really matter?

It doesn't matter a darn bit
I'm enjoying food so much now (no longer counting calories, but still eating healthy, I used to be so hungry all the time prepping for a contest) and I enjoy sleeping in, bumming around on a Sunday am instead of busting my ass in the frigging gym

It's all good.

 

[Phalanx]

Well, here's a guy's perspective. I pay great attention to my weight and level of fitness. That doesn't mean I work out like a maniac; the most I do is make sure I eat well; I exercise when I can.

I used to think everybody looked at me. I also used to also be 30-40lbs heavier, so I guess I always think I am bigger than I actually am. Anyways, I used to dread summer, because I couldnt hide in pants and a jacket. However as I get older (and I am a big year older than you, u2bonogirl ), I care less about what others think, and I develop more confidence. I am pretty darn sure the same will happen to you.

Do I know what it's like for a woman? All signs point to "hell no", but I do know that as you get older, you start reshaping your paradigm and your esteem should grow (provided you take *some* care of yourself...but I think that's inherent to my point here). In any case, I wish you luck.

 

[u2bonogirl]

soul waits
My bottom has never been small. Ive always had a peach shaped one
Thank you for posting phalanx. I know there are guys out there that feel the same way, but they probably have an easier time hiding beind baggy clothing or loose shirts and such.

Im hoping that as I grow into womanhood I will learn to love the shapely body Ive gotten

 

[the soul waits]

Bums

 

[u2bonogirl]

Heck yeah
its murder for buying pants
theres no way I can win
size 6 waist size 8 butt
what do I do?

 

[Liesje]

yeah....for me it's like size 6 butt and length, but 8-10 for hips and thighs....and honestly I consider myself "average" size, but they want you to wear jeans like dance leggings these days.... Actually, for this reason I rarely, rarely wear jeans. For work and a lot of my business classes I have to be "business casual" anyway, so prefer straight-legged khakis (in any color really) from somplace cheap like Gap or Old Navy. Jeans have just never appealed to me. I don't understand how thick, tight denim with bulky seams is suppose to be the epitome of comfort. I prefer cargo-khakis like guys wear, but now you can get them made for girls (fitted on top but still loose and baggy on the bottom) in a lot of places.

 

[u2bonogirl]

cargo khakis!

The jeans I wear are never arse tight. I hate having them sucked into my body like spandex
Im so picky that it takes me forever to find jeans that fit right but when I do, they last forever
I like cordouroy (spelling?) pants too. Very comfy.
Im getting into the midlength skirt thing because I realized that people cant see my thighs when Im wearing one

 

[BVS]

I've seen your pics in the lemonade stand and you're a pretty girl and I'm sure your body is fine.

I never wear shorts in public because I'm afraid my pale chicken legs may force others to wear sunglasses.

 

[u2bonogirl]

Thanks BVS, that was really nice of you

On the leg thing
Im the same way since I never bare my legs theyre so pasty I dont want to blind and offend the rest of the world

 

[the rockin edge]

Another guys perspective: I don't know why women think they have to wear short shirts,/ revealing clothing of all kinds. I find women very attractive in those cargo khakis you're talking about etc. You shouldn't feel the need to put on a show for everyone. In fact I think it detracts because if they dress like that I think(and may be wrong) that they are dressing to show off because they don't think anyone will like them for personality etc.

Those are just my thoughts I think I said them right (maybe not)!
If you all want to shoot me for posting this then go ahead

 

[u2bonogirl]

we're not going to shoot you!
we're all going to hug you
Personally I feel like my body should be enjoyed by my husband.
And I feel better when Im wearing the cargo shorts, and have my cleavage reigned in, because I feel like people are looking at me and seeing me. Not selected body parts.
yep, the rockin edge rocks

 

[the rockin edge]

we're not going to shoot you!
we're all going to hug you
Personally I feel like my body should be enjoyed by my husband.
And I feel better when Im wearing the cargo shorts, and have my cleavage reigned in, because I feel like people are looking at me and seeing me. Not selected body parts.
yep, the rockin edge rocks

thanks
as long as you don't shoot me

 

[u2bonogirl]

u2bonogirl's got a gun.....

yeah right

 

[beli]

I was a swimmer until very recently and so I have the whole broad-shoulders, muscular thing, and I'm kinda self conscious about that. Like I feel manly and ugly in certain tank tops. Except I quit swimming, so now I feel like I'm getting fat. I mean I'm not fat, but I'm not skinny, I have the muscular build but I'm losing all the muscle.

I know what you mean. I have biceps which aren't the most girlie girlie feminine thing in the world but I would rather have biceps than underarm fat wobble.

 

[u2bonogirl]

goodbye arms
They keep waving even when youre not