Id like to ask those in a relationship/marriage....

[mad1]

this is not a judgemental thread

but I would like to ask

for those here deep in a relationship or certainly married.......even with kids!..


.......when it comes to your friends (whether they are single or also with someone), do you, or do you all absolutely ensure you make time to see each other even if its just once a week/maybe do you all meet up for a catch up?........most likely without your partner there?

...or are you very comfortable with what you have that its just a matter that you speak to them on the phone now and again..? maybe you rarely see them but if things went tits up they would be there for ya....


cause Im sure there are peeps who ensure they keep in touch and see their friends, they would find that important, even if their life is busy?



cause my friend is suddenly deep in one and I used to hear from her and now I never, so I guess she is wrapped up in luuuuuuuuuuuv..............
it doesnt bother me, but I realise that she must be someone who likes to settle and thats her happy.

hehe

I know this thread might die, and if no-one responds thats okay! but Im curious.......

 

[MrPryck2U]

Well, I'll respond for you.


When I was in a relationship with any one of my exes, I made it a point to still see my friends on a regular basis. Yes, I definitely saw my friends less because I was spending more time with my significant other, but I still made sure to see them regularly.

But, I've definitely seen the other end as well. I've had friends who, once they started seeing someone, completely blew off hanging with me or our other friends.

I guess the bottom line is that if they are a good enough friend, they will continue to keep you in their lives and see you even if they have a significant other.

 

[BonosBaby12]

I am married and make a point of keeping in touch with my friends. Unfortunately with the exception of one they all live in different states. Make a point of getting together with the one who lives near me on a regular basis. The others I have almost daily contact with via texts and phone calls. In the past I have even taken some trips by myself to go and spend the weekend with them.

Like it has already been said if they are a good enough friend they will keep you in their lives. It's great to have a significant other but you need your friends too.

 

[Tainted_Angel]

My best friend has been with her boyfriend for over three years. We still spent a good deal of time together. It was after she had her son last December when we stopped hanging out as much. I think I've seen her twice since then. I do understand though. Becoming a parent changes everything. Luckily, her boyfriend and my boyfriend are friends, so we'd all like to do some double-date nights in the future. The hard part is making it happen.

 

[Liesje]

I'm married and of my BEST friends, I see one several times a week, and the other only once or twice a year because she lives in another state. I'm not a chatty person, so I don't really talk with friends on the phone just for the sake of gabbing. Most of my good/best friends I've known far, far longer than my husband. I'm not one that has to constantly be surrounded by friends, I like space and personal time and that has not changed because I'm in a marriage. Luckily I get along with a lot of people I train dogs with, so I get to see them regularly for training and we often travel together for events and competitions.

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

i still keep in contact with my friends. though now that i'm living overseas i can't just pick up the phone and call them now or hang out with them. plus, they're all involved with people too so it means we could double date or whatever, if that were possible right now.

 

[dstalksalot]

When my best started dating her now husband, I remember not spending much time with her at all, but things change and evolve. Eventually things got comfortable again. It has been over 20 years now and we both have kids and do our best to stay connected. We talk weekly.

 

[hiphop]

some girlfriends tend to get jealous when the boys hang out without them too often or when they are like brothers. i don´t know what their point is. maybe they always have to feel they are number one.

 

[Kiki]

I think alot of it has to do with the "new"-ness of a relationship. In the beginning I think everyones been guilty of pushing off friends to the side; not saying thats the right thing to do, I think it just happens sometimes.
But for me, after being married for 6 years it's more about the fact that I work full time and go to school full time and have a part time job.....so not only do I not see my friends all that much, I don't see my husband that much!
I think it'll get better the longer the relationship goes on though, she'll come around again and probably a bit sheepeshly too.

 

[Cin]

My long term school friends ditched me when I found a boyfriend and didn't want to spend every single night out clubbing with them. I was also expected to travel 40 mins because they'd moved away. Not fair at all. :l We usually hung out six or seven times a month.

Then I became friends with my then husbands mates, thought they'd stick by me, we all hung out together and had a ball.....until we split up and one of his/my friends of over ten years decided to make a move on me. He was rebuffed and took it very badly, told everyone I lead him on! Lost those pals...husband believes me though. We all lived in each others pockets.

Two of newer mans friends screwed me and him over big time....


What I have found is that even though I was busy and didn't keep up with a lot of people...the best ones that I haven't spoken to in years have been here for me while I fall apart....and a few new ones too.


not really on topic but yeah, keep your best friends close to your heart. take cues from each other, sometimes you wanna see your pals every day, sometimes not for weeks.

 

[Valoria]

This one hit home for me but I'm in a weird situation: I have been married for four years. Both my husband and I are introverted. I can count the people I consider "friends" on one hand, as can he. Most of his friends live in his hometown, which is about 2-1/2 hours from us, so we rarely see any of them. Most of my friends are married and have kids, so I rarely see them, though my hometown is only 20 minutes from where I live now. Plus, these friends of mine weren't all that closet to me to start with. I don't have kids yet so we are sort of in this odd place where we're not single but we're not parents, so I don't hang out with the "mom crowd" (like my sister, who has 2 kids and loads of other 'mom friends' does).
Essentially, my husband and I are each other's best friends at this point in time. It's sweet, but I miss my girl friends and chances to just chat with someone. Luckily, lately I have made a new friend, a single woman who is actually older than me, worldly, and interesting (what she's doing in my small town I'm not sure, but I'm happy she's here!). We met at the local library, where I work and where she is a frequent patron. One day she came up to the desk to call a tech person about a computer issue, and while she was on hold we chatted and got to know each other, and after I said I was sorry it was taking her so long to get tech help, she said, "Oh, that's no problem; I'm just bonding with my local librarian!". After that, we chatted some more and I asked her out for coffee, and she seemed really happy I bothered. Now, we've hung out together twice so far outside seeing each other at the library, and both times we've had a blast. So, I suppose there is hope to make new friends if you are married, but you have to be open to looking. My husband, in contast to me, doesn't pursue any new friendships, but it doesn't seem to bother him too much. He's a homebody and is content to spend his time with me, and still keeps in touch on Facebook or e-mail with his hometown buddies.

 

[juliaguliaxo94]

I always see my friends and my boyfriend equally. I HAVE to see my friends, otherwise I will feel like I'm in a trapped, restricted relationship. Same with him and his friends.