I dont like weddings

[Sicy]

Is that stupid or what?

My cousin is getting married next month and I'm actually not all that excited about it. That sounds terrible I know. Well first off she wanted me to be a bridesmaid. But when I found out the dress was going to cost $200 and the shoes $80 I was like .. I'm sorry, but I really cant afford that, PLUS the plane ticket, another $150 or so, plus the wedding gift, etc. I'm really struggling with money right now, living paycheck to paycheck, and just honestly cant afford that. So I backed out of being a bridesmaid and she was fine with that, just as long as I will be there she will be happy, etc. I just dont get how someone could expect their (8 or so???) bridesmaids to pay that kind of money for an outfit that you're going to wear once.

But even though I will just be a guest now there is just something about weddings I dont like. They're a big pain in the ass to me, all the planning, and deciding what to wear, and driving, and renting a room, and hanging out with hundreds of people I dont know. Yes there will be some family there but the majority of the people I wont know. I dont even know any of her bridesmaids. I guess I sound pretty lazy and bitchy but there must be someone out there that feels the same way.

 

[Liesje]

Me! I hate weddings! They are either really boring, really awkward, or both.

Mine was SHORT and CHEAP! Vows, unity candle, dances, toasts, DJ, wedding cake, a formal meal, open bar, tossing the bouquet, riding off into the sunset....didn't do ANY of it!

 

[Galeongirl]

I don't like them at all.... when I was little I fell asleep on my uncle's wedding, while a rock band was playing loudly
I think it's a huge waste of money, and it's stressing to decide what to wear and stuff Waste of energy!

why do you need a day like that to prove somebody you love him/her?

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

I guess I sound pretty lazy and bitchy but there must be someone out there that feels the same way.

Guess I'm lazy and bitchy, too!

If I ever get married it's going to be the most minimalist wedding ever. :cheapbitch:

 

[indra]

I'm not a big fan of weddings either. Luckily for me the only time I was a bridesmaid was at my sister's wedding (at both actually, and both went kaput not long after, so my bridesmaidism is probably a kiss of death for marriages ) and she worked around an outfit I already had for the last wedding. Her florist coordinated the flowers in my bouquet to go particularly well with the colours of my outfit and still fit with the rest of the flowers they had picked. So that actually wasn't too painful, but I didn't know anyone there, and everyone else seemed to, so it was a long, kind of uncomfortable night.

 

[Sicy]

I think it's a huge waste of money, and it's stressing to decide what to wear and stuff Waste of energy!

Gah, exactly! She always told me that she would have a small wedding too and now this thing has turned into a big extravaganza. She's having at this fancy schmancy castle looking hotel where you pick your meal, filet mignon or chicken, hairdressers and makeup artists are coming in to do the bridesmaids, her registry list is RIDICULOUS. $100 for a toaster?? I might sound cheap but I just seriously think its a big waste of money for one day. You can have a perfectly lovely ceremony without all this hoopla and $$.

I was a bridesmaid at my friends wedding years back and we got our dresses at an outlet store for $38 and our shoes at payless for around $15. They had a buffet style for the reception. Now that sounds a lot more reasonable to me!

I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels this way!

 

[BoMac]

Well, Sicy, do you mean all weddings or just Italian/Sicilian weddings?

I'm of Italian origin (part Sicilian as well) and I can say that I love weddings so long as they're simple affairs—which Italian weddings most assuredly are not. More often than not it's like a competition to see who has the biggest event. My cousin had about 350-400 people at his wedding, a large contigent of which came from across the U.S., Canada and Europe. They ended up staying at my aunt's place and she hosted them for anywhere between a week to two weeks. The crazy thing is that she seemed to enjoy it!

I'm a simple guy, who enjoys simple things and if I ever get married I would like it to be very small. Just family, some friends and that's it.

 

[redhotswami]

Weddings frustrate me because I feel like people spend so much time fussing over inconsequential details and miss the big picture. It is supposed to be a beautiful ceremony of eternal promises. Yet at the last wedding I went to I was confined to a table of some of the most shallow conversation I'd ever heard in my life. People were talking about the dress, the tablecloth, the table arrangements, the type of food.

I wanted to rip out my hair. It is like that at so many weddings. I feel like it is more of a performance for the guests than anything, which I think takes away from the intended gesture of marriage and the symbolism behind it.

After being in, and a guest of many weddings in my lifetime, I have vowed to never have one of my own. I would hate to think that after all the gestures of love, many people would only care to talk about the decorations at the event.

I haven't quite told my family this. I'm sure they'd be disappointed, but at least they have my brother they can fuss over. My mother actually told me she recently had a dream that one day I just showed up at her door with this guy, told them we were in love, hugged and waved goodbye and we were off. now that's my idea of a wedding!

 

[Sicy]

Well, Sicy, do you mean all weddings or just Italian/Sicilian weddings?

Well ... I am of Italian origin as well, and part Sicilian but I have not experienced a Sicilian wedding. When all my cousins got married just my mom flew back to Italy for the weddings. But, I probably wouldnt like them either! lol.

If my best friends want to go get married in their backyard or a simple court service, I'd be happy to stop by. But all this planning and stuff is making me nuts, and I'm not even a bridesmaid anymore! I'd be seriously worse off if I was.

I'm just going to get plastered I guess ...

 

[WildHoneyAlways]

I have mixed feelings about weddings. Don't love em, don't hate em. I'd just like to know up front what I'm getting into. There has to be some balance to them. If you want a simple wedding, make sure all the events are simple. ( ie don't register for 598 expensive things, have 4 showers, etc) If you want a large or extravagant wedding, lucky you. But you better make sure you feed your guests well (sit down dinner please), care packages for out of town guests, and that there's a good open bar.

 

[waynetravis]

We went my cousin's wedding a few years ago. He had a way more than average ceremony.

He is in the RAF and wore his air force uniform, and had brought half the barracks with him
His best man and friends were all dressed like they were part of the Chicago mob. Pin striped black suits, shiny polished shoes with white spats on them, it looked like something out of The Godfather

My mum and dad got dressed suited, my brothers and I just went in black jeans and white shirts. I was wearing red converse, and surrounded by uniformed soldiers.

 

[BAW]

I'm just going to get plastered I guess ... [/B]

At least you have a fun date to get plastered with

 

[forbonou2]

I guess it's all in How you plan it! Did the Vegas thing..easy and cheap! didn't last..but that's another thread! Beware of Bridezilla Sicy! lol.....

 

[Sicy]

At least you have a fun date to get plastered with

I am SO GLAD for that!

 

[lynnok]

I don't like weddings because they are way too overdone and way too stilted and uncomfortable. New fancy clothes, icky food, usually a dweeb dj or somebodys cousin's friends band. yuk.

My dream wedding...small ceremony in the morning on July 4 then in the afternoon a BIG picnic with lots of food and the beach and tables in the shade. There will be a bartender because Guinness is best built by a pro and a pot filled with lobster, people bringing instruments and playing when they feel like and when it gets dark, a bonfire on the beach with marshmallows for the few sober enough to want them and then later...Fireworks over the water. Perfect wedding, AND everyone will wear shorts because it's a picnic! Mine will be white cause I'm the Bride.

 

[Sicy]

See now that sounds fun. I'd go to that.

 

[*browneyedgirl*]

For the most part that about sums it up for me going to weddings and what about wedding and baby showers, I'm not crazy about those either, especially for people you only see once a year or even every few years.

Open bars make it better though

 

[U2Girl416]

I'm not excited about a lot of stuff regarding weddings and I'm supposed to be planning mine currently!

I think I'll PM Lies, definitely interested in more money-saving, time-saving, stress-avoiding tips!

 

[starsgoblue]

Mine's in January and I honestly haven't done shit for planning in the past few months.

I'm making damn sure the ceremony is short and sweet so we all can hit the open bar and get shaking early. I'm fully intending on going out to a downtown bar with everyone in our getup after the ceremony and trashing my dress.

I would have just run off and eloped if it wasn't for my grandmother, she would have died just to make me feel bad if I did.

 

[anitram]

I find 90% of weddings to be ridiculous, overblown, and very TACKY affairs. It can be such a huge waste of $, and I never understood the weddings with 400 people where the bride and groom don't know half of those in attendance. If that makes any sense to anyone....

I'm a bridesmaid next September and I'm looking forward to it because I do love the two people getting married, but I'm also a student with a $25K yearly bill and virtually no salary so I'm already having a conniption fit about it. While it may be an honour to be in the wedding party, it's also a very large expense and I think sometimes the brides don't consider that.

One of my other best friends is renting out a very posh resort in the Caribbean (houses about 100 only) and will have no more than 100 guests there. While it sounds super expensive, it's not actually anymore than a large (250 person) wedding would have been at home. That I'm looking forward to because she will make a week out of it with organized events like jungle safaris, deep sea fishing for anyone who wants to go, snorkelling, parasailing and other stuff. So it will be a fun and enjoyable event for all. And she's waiting until we all graduate and have $ to blow! Woo!

 

[*browneyedgirl*]

Thankfully I've only been a bridesmaid once in my life and a bride once.
Me and Mr. Brown were going to just go to a justice of the peace and get married but his mother, aunt and cousins stepped in and gave us a wedding, a cheap, small wedding in a small chapel(which I was thankful for and appreciated) but it was stressful.
I couldn't wait for the wedding to be over and the honeymoon/vacation to start, although we didn't have hardly any money for it.
I was only 17 and he was 31 and we've been married for almost 25 years.

 

[Vincent Vega]

A friend of mine is going to be the bridesmaid for a friend of hers next January.
Only problem is, the wedding will take place in Mexico, and in February we'll have exams again. So she has to pay for the flight and stuff, and will miss one or two weeks in uni.
But she's going.
I've only attended one wedding, but was too young to remember.

 

[Sicy]

I was only 17 and he was 31 and we've been married for almost 25 years.

WOW that is impressive!

 

[starsgoblue]

Oh but something I would like to bitch and moan about....

Ryan's older brother is getting remarried next week. Even though Ryan's family is large and all lives in Columbus (not to mention all of the fiancees family with the exception of her mother)...the wedding is going to be in Tampa, Florida. Like I have $$ to blow on plane tickets to Florida in the summer. Not to mention having to board my pets and take time off of work that is attempting to pay for my own wedding that isn't paid off. I'm extremely bitter about the whole thing.

 

[Lila64]

Haven't been to a wedding in years. At some point, all your friends are already married (or divorced). Never been to an extremely lavish one. One of the nicest was in the South Bay overlooking the Pacific Ocean. These friends know a lot of people, and hubby was part of the wedding party. I think the only time I was in a wedding party was when my sister got married, and that was at her in-law's house.

When we got married, I didn't want any fru-fru frilly dresses kinda thing. And I didn't want to make my bridesmaids buy the kind of dress you wear once and then pack away. I think the girls wore more of a modern lacy Victorian style dress. I know a couple of the girls got to wear the dress on more than one occasion. Except for the girl who was 8 months pregnant For shoes, I didn't have any requirements, just as long as they went with the dress. We were paying for our own wedding, so we tried to do it as cheaply as possible. And we didn't register for China, cuz that's something we'd never ever use. We registered for 8-12 sets of everyday Dansk dishes (which we still use 17 years later), and which I ended up getting at my shower, since most of the attendees were my mother-in-law's friends And they did end up giving us a good amount of money for wedding presents.

As for your cousin's wedding, if she really wanted you to be a part, she could have offered to pay or contribute to the expense

Um... so yeah... weddings can be very stressful and unfun. Hope you end up having a good time Sicy

 

[Mr. BAW]

Char and I had no expectations of anyone paying for our wedding except us....it was the second wedding for each of us...We had a wedding party of 8/8 plus two little guys/one little girl...

We bought the girl's dresses, shoes and even flew one of them in...we paid for the guy's tuxes and paid for their hotel rooms for the night...the hotel served a buffet dinner for 240 guests at $40 a pop and it took every credit card we had to cover it...we had no registry, we already owned a home and had everything we needed...we just wanted to be married in front of those that were special to us...

If you chose NOT to go to the wedding, I know something else that's happening that you might like instead....

 

[U2democrat]

Weddings suck. All the lovey-doveyness in the air...


Plus I don't really like getting dressed up

 

[DrTeeth]

I like getting dressed up but I don't really like people and there tend to be a lot of those around at weddings. So yeah, I hate them as well.

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

I like getting dressed up but I don't really like people and there tend to be a lot of those around at weddings. So yeah, I hate them as well.

Marry me.













preferably with as little of those people thingys as possible, lol

 

[joerags]

Since I will most likely never get married, I have vowed to never attend another wedding. The last wedding I went to was two years ago, and after that, I decided to never ever go to a wedding again.

Why do people spend like $30,000 to $60,000 on a wedding? That's insane. The cake alone is a few thousand dollars.

I actually used to like going to weddings. I caught the garter at 4 different weddings. No lie. The first time was when I was 14 years old. It was the first ever time I went for it. I had no idea what to do. I just caught it. But I had no idea I had to put it up the girl's leg after I caught it. I remember feeling really freaked out about that. Then I caught it at three more weddings when I was 20, 21 and 22. I'm into sports and I am pretty athletic, so it's fun for me to catch it.

For a guy who has never had a girlfriend, it's kind of ironic that the only time I could (so-to-speak) "hook up" with a women is when I could catch a garter.