He won't commit, and I might be too late.

[pax]

I'm very close (I think) to getting coupled up with a guy I've been on-and-off with since the beginning of the summer. But there are a few problems. First, he's a few years older than me (he's 24, I'm 19). Second, he works at my college (no, this is not the weird guy from residence life). Third--and worst of all--he thinks that there's something "sweet and innocent" (direct quote) about me and he's scared he'll break my heart or something.

We've tried to date a few times, but it keeps falling through. The other day we were talking and we ended up just sort of holding each other for a long time. He came to see me at my work the next day and the same thing happened. Here's the thing: I'm going away for a few days next week and I don't want to go away with this being unresolved (it's a service trip and I don't want to be distracted with romantic matters). I want to be able to really talk about all this first. I need him to tell me one way or the other what he wants to do. I need an answer.

Can I get one? Should I get one? What's the best way to go about this?

 

[martha]

Paxie, darlin', I think you're getting your answer; it's just not in words. The dates "fall through," he says he doesn't want to take it any further, and the attempts at talking don't work. Save yourself the trouble. It sounds like it was over before it started.


Please don't settle. Keep looking for the quality man who deserves you!

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

Damn men.


I hope it all works out for you, pax.

 

[Blue_Angel]

yikes, pax. I don't know what to say. Everywhere I turn it seems like this is so complicated. my girl friends and I were just bonding over guy-troubles ranging from boy-scared me, to girl who can't figure out that guy is blatantly using her while she's all depressed about it. and they are trying to set me up with a guy who's been in love with the same girl for 4 years, who has treated him like complete trash, causing him to take a women's studies course to try to figure girls out. like I will be able to convince him that the female species does actually have nice people too

Sorry, that was not in the slightetst helpful. Ignore all of that, and good luck I guess is the best I can do. Wish this kind of thing was simple...

 

[pax]

Thanks for the love. I had a lousy eve. I was a tiny bit sloshed when I started this thread. Don't hold it against me.

I dunno. I just want to be happy, dammit.

 

[Blue_Angel]

I just want to be happy, dammit.

 

[Angela Harlem]

Reckon this one can make you happy pax?

 

[daisybean]

He's sending you mixed messages, first saying he doesn't want to date you, then holding you and making you think he has interest.

I think you should just be straight with him...ask him how he feels before you leave. If he goes the "friends route" then tell him that you don't want him to do things that might give you the wrong idea.

I gotta agree with Martha...I think a romantic relationship may not be in the cards. Perhaps, you were only meant to be good friends.

 

[She Is Raging]

I think you should just be straight with him...ask him how he feels before you leave. If he goes the "friends route" then tell him that you don't want him to do things that might give you the wrong idea.

I agree.... but if you're at all like me, you'll want to know either way, if it's good news or bad. I've learned over the years that it's SO much easier to be direct and ask, rather than sit and ponder, because you'll only make yourself mental.

Good luck regardless though -