Zoomerang96
ONE love, blood, life
i woke up this morning after living tommorow in my dream.
it was a dream of what my basic work day consists of. going to work, being at work, talking to my editor (who smells awful and is the most annoying person one has ever had to work with), buying water in the afternoon, and going home.
i even ran into a friend.
there was also one other bit in there, about me talking to someone about stuff, and it went well, but since that was merely placed in my dream to cause me to think about it non stop all day, id say it was a cruel slap in the face. i think about it during the day, i dont want to dream about it at night. sure, often the two go hand in hand, but usually when you think about something, in your dreams it ends up being either quite good or quite bad. never in between.
well it was in between. except it turned out alright. but not really. cause "alright" isnt good enough anymore. "alright" is bland, and thats fine, but i live through my signature, trying to go without all the highs and lows in life, but its almost no use. theres war everywhere, threats of war, people hate each other, and if i want to like one person why, just why, precisely would that be, in my mind, the most difficult thing in the world to accomplish?
could the dream not have been more exciting? why can i not even take a risk on this issue at night in my sleep? and its not even that big of a risk really.
this whole dream was a complete headfuck. i hate it. i cant help it that i have feelings, but so often i wish i didnt have any.
it seems like i cant even "dream out loud" in my own dreams.
and the only thing thats stopping me from achieving so much, is myself.
this post (surprise) is about as focused as my days have been the past few months, but lately its been a whole lot worse.
it was a dream of what my basic work day consists of. going to work, being at work, talking to my editor (who smells awful and is the most annoying person one has ever had to work with), buying water in the afternoon, and going home.
i even ran into a friend.
there was also one other bit in there, about me talking to someone about stuff, and it went well, but since that was merely placed in my dream to cause me to think about it non stop all day, id say it was a cruel slap in the face. i think about it during the day, i dont want to dream about it at night. sure, often the two go hand in hand, but usually when you think about something, in your dreams it ends up being either quite good or quite bad. never in between.
well it was in between. except it turned out alright. but not really. cause "alright" isnt good enough anymore. "alright" is bland, and thats fine, but i live through my signature, trying to go without all the highs and lows in life, but its almost no use. theres war everywhere, threats of war, people hate each other, and if i want to like one person why, just why, precisely would that be, in my mind, the most difficult thing in the world to accomplish?
could the dream not have been more exciting? why can i not even take a risk on this issue at night in my sleep? and its not even that big of a risk really.
this whole dream was a complete headfuck. i hate it. i cant help it that i have feelings, but so often i wish i didnt have any.
it seems like i cant even "dream out loud" in my own dreams.
and the only thing thats stopping me from achieving so much, is myself.
this post (surprise) is about as focused as my days have been the past few months, but lately its been a whole lot worse.