Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi #7

[Kieran McConville]

It's funny, the Greens now come out of this not looking too shabby, since the government is looking intransigent. The failure of Canavan to resign from parliament, rather than just from cabinet, and his "my mum did it" excuse, already cast Ludlam and Waters in a better light for owning up to it and taking responsibility. And now Barnaby straight-up not even resigning the Deputy PM role, or his other portfolios (including one he inherited from Canavan!), looks like very poor form indeed. The government is desperate to cling to power.

I love that Tony Windsor hasn't ruled out running again for New England. And gee I wonder which party he'd support in a minority parliament...

The government look so shabby on so many fronts that it's hard to keep count. I'll be honest here and admit that I'm surprised Turnbull is still prime minister, and surmise that this survival is itself a sign of just how bare the cupboard is.

Barnaby and co. are above the law, they are the law. They are the masters and you are the serfs. Or something.

 

[Axver]

See, I'm not surprised Turnbull is still prime minister, precisely because the cupboard is bare. Who else have they got? Abbott, a man who'd double the size of the swing against the government? Dutton, a man with a potato for a brain? Bishop, a woman who can't extend her influence east across the Nullarbor? ScoMo, a man with no known charisma? Any backbencher in a marginal seat who wants to keep their seat won't push for any of those ineffectual clowns (though I don't count Bishop as a clown). God, that next election can't come soon enough.

 

[Kieran McConville]

Abbott, no, unless in his own lunchtime. I could see them swinging for Morrison at some stage though, maybe two months before an election. They're just that fucking clueless.

 

[Kieran McConville]

Barnaby will probably do the best out of any of them (well apart from Turnbull with his millions to console him). He can be Gina Rinehart's... consigliere. Not a bad day's work for a 'umble accountant from St George.

Jesus fuck, this guy is only a decade older than me.

You know that point where your leaders are younger than you? My parents passed it sometime in the late 1990s (well, let's cut the crap, they passed it when Bob Hawke was rolled). I feel like I'm coming up on it in the next decade.

 

[Kieran McConville]

I can't tell if Labor is worse off or not, but that barren talent pool post-Howard (it was developing before then, but obscured for a while) does make you wonder. I keep thinking, at some point, these guys are going to be in the wilderness for a generation. I keep thinking that, and wondering if I'm just kidding myself. They aren't really aligned with the mainstream of this country, I don't think; even for all its casual cruelty. They do just a vaguely acceptable parody of same, just good enough to fall over the line.

 

[Axver]

We thought that 2007 had consigned them to the wilderness for a long, long time. Alas.

And Jacinda Ardern, the new leader of New Zealand Labour who very well might be the next PM, is just seven fucking years older than me.

 

[Kieran McConville]

We thought that 2007 had consigned them to the wilderness for a long, long time. Alas.

And Jacinda Ardern, the new leader of New Zealand Labour who very well might be the next PM, is just seven fucking years older than me.

Yeah and she's two years younger than me.

2007 would and could have consigned them to the wilderness indefinitely; but somebody blinked. I chalk it partly up to Rudd, and partly up to the party powerbrokers. He was not fit to be prime minister, but they rode the wave that put him there. Then they all blinked (specifically over climate change policy, and then the mining royalty tax).

 

[Axver]

I wonder, if Beazley had not been rolled, could he have been prime minister for a decade? Would we right now be in the early Gillard years after a peaceful handover? Beazley lacked charm compared to Rudd, but the famous drover's dog would've won in 2007 and then Beazley would've represented a stable, respectable leader.

It's certainly not an implausible alternate timeline.

 

[Kieran McConville]

It's entirely plausible. He was a holdover from the Hawke-Keating era in both good and bad ways, but perhaps more of a capital-L Labor guy at heart (I can still remember his - futile - budget reply speech the year the Howard Government introduced the predictably corrupt-as-fuck Job Network).

 

[Axver]

I have worked with some people who knew Beazley when he worked at Murdoch University. They would absolutely confirm his credentials as a true believer of the labour movement.

I've talked to him over email, without luck trying to line him up for a public lecture or book launch. Polite guy but certainly still a busy man.

 

[Kieran McConville]

Yeah, I guess he must be a busy guy, I've not really followed his career apart from he was the US ambassador for a while, right?

 

[Axver]

Yeah, now he seems to be doing the usual ex-senior politician thing of being on various boards, supporting community endeavours, lending his name or imprimatur to things, etc., etc. Must be nice if you can get it.

 

[Axver]

Shit, Julie Bishop's blown my cover as the agent of a foreign power trying to bring down the government.

 

[Kieran McConville]

She what now?

 

[Axver]

She's suggested that Barnaby being exposed as a Kiwi is the result of the ALP colluding with a foreign power to bring down the government.

Also the government lost another vote on the floor of parliament today, this time about the reef. 69-61. They were saved by the fact the division bells were not rung for long enough, and were able to win a second division 74-71.

My god, what an awful week for the government.

 

[Kieran McConville]

How very intriguing. I do believe Bishop has seized upon a dastardly plot of the first order. This makes Guy Fawkes look like an amateur (well, he was, but whatever).

They're hanging by their arse-flaps at this point. Bets on the government going to term? Hallelujahs that we don't - yet - have fixed four year terms at the national house?

 

[Axver]

I'm starting to wonder. They could very plausibly lose a byelection almost anywhere in the country right now. There's another Liberal member of the House whose possible British citizenship has been raised by the media - I suspect she's clear, but it's the last thing the government wants. And, hell, they need to hope nobody drops dead all of a sudden. Especially now that Katter has gone and announced he's withdrawing support for the government! If the Coalition loses one member of the House they can probably cling to power through the Speaker's casting vote. But it'll make for a shaky parliament. There's already speculation there will be an early election next year rather than in 2019...

 

[Kieran McConville]

Say what, Katter grew a spine? That one I missed (of course I only pretend to read the newspaper most days).

I'm sure it will all work out in the end. There'll be a terrorist 'incident' or a war or something and everyone will rally around like mindless sheep. Unity. Unity through strength, strength through unity, only we can protect you (shot of Peter Dutton snoring in backseat).

 

[Axver]

Yeah, Katter announced it today, as if this week wasn't already difficult for the government. My favourite bit is when he remarked that Turnbull promised him an hour-long meeting over his key issues and demands, but then checked his watch after 25 minutes and left. Of COURSE Katter is still holding onto that bitterly.

And to be honest I wonder which way a terrorist incident would send the voting public now. I thought the attacks in Britain were going to stop Labour, but they instead contributed to May's little mess.

 

[Kieran McConville]

Yeah, Katter announced it today, as if this week wasn't already difficult for the government. My favourite bit is when he remarked that Turnbull promised him an hour-long meeting over his key issues and demands, but then checked his watch after 25 minutes and left. Of COURSE Katter is still holding onto that bitterly.

And to be honest I wonder which way a terrorist incident would send the voting public now. I thought the attacks in Britain were going to stop Labour, but they instead contributed to May's little mess.

Yeah, it's true that this sort of 'pavlovian response' isn't so predictable and cut and dried nowadays, although that could swing either way. People are very malleable. I'm sorry but it's true.

If I was Katter I think I would have grown a spine a lot earlier. Check your watch, asshole? How about 'I could bring down the government' (ok, he can't currently probably do that, but get some gas in your tank, man!)

 

[Axver]

Well folks, in case you were somehow still unsure whether the federal government is populated by smallminded culture warriors, they've stripped the City of Yarra (which encompases Melbourne suburbs such as Fitzroy and has probably the most left-wing council in Australia) of the right to hold citizenship ceremonies. Why? Because they had the gall to decide not to hold ceremonies on Australia Day any more.

The best bit is the federal government accusing City of Yarra of politicising citizenship ceremonies. You fuckwits, keeping it on Invasion Day is just as political a decision as moving it. And what an absolute overreach. Turnbull's blather about the council being out of step with national value is laughable. I can say unequivocally, having spent the last decade in neighbouring City of Moreland, that this council is entirely in step with its local community.

 

[kabigon]

It's ok, Malcolm will take another trip on a tram to prove he's still in touch with Marvellous Melbourne and that will be the end of it.

 

[Axver]

He will, of course, take it to Toorak.

 

[kabigon]

Not before questioning the validity of tram route unions.

 

[Axver]

Incidentally, you know what brings me so much silly joy here in Wollongong? That the free circle bus I take to work is the route 55.

It's like my spirit migrated here after the 55 and 8 trams were merged back home. Fuck you Yarra Trams, there is but one true tram to West Coburg and it is the 55.

 

[Axver]

Pauline Hanson just wore a burqa to the Senate.

Perhaps she was feeling left out of the stupid shit after Malcolm Roberts' citizenship tango and Brian Burston's anti-vax tomfoolery.

 

[cobl04]

Then this happened. I have sincere, huge love for Brandis right now Pauline Hanson burqa stunt: George Brandis pulls off his finest speech by calling out a dangerous fool

 

[Axver]

I never thought I would respect something Brandis has said or done, but here we are. That's how vile Pauline is, that even a snivelling self-interested aubergine like Brandis can appear enlightened in condemning her.

 

[Kieran McConville]

This is why I'm not afraid of Pauline Hanson. She's so cartoonishly shit. Does she have true believers? Sure, course she does. But not enough to storm the Bastille, I fear.

 

[coolian2]