Why Are Women So Mean To Each Other? - Page 2 - U2 Feedback

Go Back   U2 Feedback > Lypton Village > Free Your Mind
Click Here to Login
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
 
Old 10-25-2010, 11:09 PM   #16
Refugee
 
A stor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: U.S.A. East Coast
Posts: 2,464
Local Time: 12:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pearl View Post
Maturity is definitely the issue here. I have seen women ages 25, 30, 40 or older behave like they are 10 - no joke! They continue that "mean girls" behavior at their age, unaware of how ridiculous they look.

Insecurity plays a role, too. I think the more likely a woman feels comfortable in her skin, the less likely she'll be a backstabbing type.
That is very sad and I agree. Bullys are never comfortable in their own skin.

I am very fortunate. My female friends are in their fifties and beyond. My friendships with them are more like a "sisterhood." Than the "mean girl back stabbing type."

We always call each other "hon or sweetie." We not afraid to hug and give each other support. Before anyone ask. None of us are gay. Just women who love each other as sisters. We cherish our friendships. Who knows what could happen tomorrow? You have to live today to the best of your ability.
__________________

__________________
A stor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-25-2010, 11:14 PM   #17
Blue Crack Distributor
 
corianderstem's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Seattle
Posts: 63,730
Local Time: 04:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by A stor View Post
Before anyone ask. None of us are gay.
Pretty sure no one would have asked that.
__________________

__________________
corianderstem is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-25-2010, 11:36 PM   #18
Refugee
 
A stor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: U.S.A. East Coast
Posts: 2,464
Local Time: 12:48 PM
This is FYM. Never know what others may think.
__________________
A stor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-25-2010, 11:45 PM   #19
Blue Crack Distributor
 
corianderstem's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Seattle
Posts: 63,730
Local Time: 04:48 AM
Despite the differences FYMers have on a great many topics, I feel very confident in proclaiming that no one was going to jump in here and think you were gay because you hug your female friends.
__________________
corianderstem is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-25-2010, 11:53 PM   #20
Refugee
 
A stor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: U.S.A. East Coast
Posts: 2,464
Local Time: 12:48 PM
I agree. There are some great topics here. I enjoy reading them and hopefully, adding something to it.

Sorry, if the "gay" comment offended you. If wasn't meant to be. I was Just responding to a post about why it is uncomfortable for some women to be friends. I haven't had that experience. Since, most of my closest friends are women.
__________________
A stor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-25-2010, 11:54 PM   #21
Blue Crack Distributor
 
corianderstem's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Seattle
Posts: 63,730
Local Time: 04:48 AM
It didn't offend me, I just thought it was weird that you felt the need to say that.
__________________
corianderstem is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-26-2010, 12:22 AM   #22
Refugee
 
A stor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: U.S.A. East Coast
Posts: 2,464
Local Time: 12:48 PM
I said it because. I hear so many young women refer to each other as "bitches and whores." That seems to be okay with them. Being in my early fifties, as a mother and grand mother, it would be strange for me.

I understand that there are people posting of all different age groups. What may have been considered to be okay in my generation. A younger group may see it different. I hope this clears up any confusion. Thanks for your questions and replies.
__________________
A stor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-26-2010, 12:32 AM   #23
ONE
love, blood, life
 
Jive Turkey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 13,646
Local Time: 07:48 AM
But where are these women's parents?
__________________
Jive Turkey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-26-2010, 12:59 AM   #24
Blue Crack Addict
 
anitram's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: NY
Posts: 16,297
Local Time: 07:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AliEnvy View Post

My jaw dropped when I read the bit below. I could have written it. And like the writer, thought I was mostly alone in feeling that way.
I honestly have to say, and I hope that it doesn't come across the wrong way, that this makes me profoundly sad.

I used to feel a lot more comfortable around men as friends and had very few female friends and felt the way that you do. But now I have several women whom I consider as good as sisters to me, and they have been a large part of the reason why I have been happy, successful and well-adjusted. I cannot imagine my life without close female friendships in it.
__________________
anitram is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-26-2010, 01:14 AM   #25
Rock n' Roll Doggie
ALL ACCESS
 
hiphop's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: in the jungle
Posts: 7,410
Local Time: 02:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by financeguy
The problem is that hypercapitalism inevitably trends towards treating people as commodities.

Just as Debord predicted.
"trends towards" is a bit of an understatement.

Capitalism worships the god of money, it treats people like disposable objects, objects to be exploited, manipulated and finally thrown away like an old rag doll in order to make more money.

Quote:
Originally Posted by anitram
I used to feel a lot more comfortable around men as friends and had very few female friends and felt the way that you do. But now I have several women whom I consider as good as sisters to me, and they have been a large part of the reason why I have been happy, successful and well-adjusted. I cannot imagine my life without close female friendships in it.
Sounds good to me. I guess I have about the same number male/female friends. Recently I cooked a delicious lunch with one of my female friends. Generally it seems to me women are getting a bit normal when they grow up. Still, the illogical female brain is fascinating.
__________________
hiphop is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-26-2010, 08:16 AM   #26
Refugee
 
AliEnvy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 2,320
Local Time: 12:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by anitram View Post
But now I have several women whom I consider as good as sisters to me,
As does the author of the book (mentioned right in her quote), as do I. I'm just very cautious on who I let get close due to past hurts.

Perhaps the numbers go down after the 20s as some do mature, but there are plenty of "mean girls" in their 30s and 40s. It just manifests in different and often less direct ways.
__________________
AliEnvy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-26-2010, 09:32 AM   #27
ONE
love, blood, life
 
A_Wanderer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: The Wild West
Posts: 12,518
Local Time: 10:48 PM
I suspect that the ultimate answer could be evolutionary. If most women were trying to discriminate the more favourable males for a period during their reproductive window to ensure a good compliment of genes in their offspring then a tendency towards behaviour which undermines competitors for the valuable resource (fit males) could be selected for.

How to put this into an empirical context would be tricky and would need to recruit a lot of anthropological data, analogue studies in other animals and experimental data from female-female interactions of different ages and degrees of relatedness.

I don't think that it's entirely reducible to dumb selection or amenable to the broad "just-so" story which I elaborated above but it seems feasible that nasty behaviour between women could related to the commodity which their ancestors were able to secure.
__________________
A_Wanderer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-26-2010, 09:33 AM   #28
Blue Crack Addict
 
Liesje's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: In the dog house
Posts: 19,557
Local Time: 07:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by financeguy View Post
Not that I know much about this sort of thing but I had the impression there is less of this sort of behaviour among more mature women and it is more of a phenomenon for women in their 20s?
Or even younger. When I was maybe 13-16 I felt that way, it was more competitive, we could be catty and have a mean streak, even those of us who were friends. But later on in high school and since then...my closest friends are just that, my BEST friends. Why would I want to be friends with someone I resent? I do not compare myself to them in order to put them or myself down nor do I feel I need to compete. I guess I just don't feel that way...at all, and haven't for a long time. But, maybe it's just me. I don't need dozens of superficial relationships; I keep a small group of very close friends. No one's really had the chance to hurt me and anyone who's come close I've cut out of my life because I have no time or patience for poisonous people.
__________________
Liesje is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-26-2010, 10:27 AM   #29
Blue Crack Addict
 
MrsSpringsteen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 24,994
Local Time: 07:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pearl View Post
Insecurity plays a role, too. I think the more likely a woman feels comfortable in her skin, the less likely she'll be a backstabbing type.
I think that is very accurate. I wasn't mean to other girls even in high school. It was a cliquey sort of school but that just wasn't my thing at all. I really didn't want to fit into any group, I just wanted to keep to myself more and just get through it. I have zero patience or tolerance for adult mean girls now and I also cut poisonous people out of my life.

There are also mean boy types and I know a few-they are just mean in different ways (sometimes) and about different things.
__________________
MrsSpringsteen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-26-2010, 10:41 AM   #30
Refugee
 
AliEnvy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 2,320
Local Time: 12:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liesje View Post
No one's really had the chance to hurt me and anyone who's come close I've cut out of my life because I have no time or patience for poisonous people.
Not as easy to do in the workplace.

Being the mediator in countless workplace conflicts, in my experience the childish drama is far more prevalent among women (against women), of all ages and organizational levels.
__________________

__________________
AliEnvy is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:48 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Design, images and all things inclusive copyright © Interference.com