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Old 06-07-2010, 07:57 PM   #166
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There still is such a stigma connected to women who love sex. Not who love love and want a relationship but to a woman who just loves sex. We are still seen as nurturing communicators, we want love, support we want to be 'got' we want cuddles and love and sure a bit of sex but lights out and no kinky stuff otherwise we stray into the 'whore' category.

Men are linked with sex. We hear 'oh men think about sex every 7 seconds, oh men always look at women and imagine them naked' yet if the tables were turned women are no longer women, they are cougars out on the prowl looking for young men, they are not mornal but 'over sexed' or 'sex starved' etc, not just seen as a regular woman.

If a woman wants more sex then a man in the relationship she's 'unsaitiable' while the oter way round is just 'normal' If a woman initiates sex its seen as a one off, or a special event.

I do think movies and tv have a lot of blame for this because in my life, my girlfriends would be considered Samanthas the whole lot of them and these are just normal 20 something girls. Most of them, well let me think almost all have had over 10 sexual partners at least 2 or 3 one night stands, and lots of meaningful relationships.

and then femminists get up their goat about girls being happy to be called sluts or whores. Well if we don't take back the word and use it as our own, then we will consistently be made to feel bad about wanting to get it on, I say let us be sexually free and people need to stop making such a fuss about yet again 'what men make us do even though we think we're doing it for ourselves'
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Old 06-07-2010, 08:10 PM   #167
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There still is such a stigma connected to women who love sex. Not who love love and want a relationship but to a woman who just loves sex. We are still seen as nurturing communicators, we want love, support we want to be 'got' we want cuddles and love and sure a bit of sex but lights out and no kinky stuff otherwise we stray into the 'whore' category.

Men are linked with sex. We hear 'oh men think about sex every 7 seconds, oh men always look at women and imagine them naked' yet if the tables were turned women are no longer women, they are cougars out on the prowl looking for young men, they are not mornal but 'over sexed' or 'sex starved' etc, not just seen as a regular woman.

If a woman wants more sex then a man in the relationship she's 'unsaitiable' while the oter way round is just 'normal' If a woman initiates sex its seen as a one off, or a special event.

I do think movies and tv have a lot of blame for this because in my life, my girlfriends would be considered Samanthas the whole lot of them and these are just normal 20 something girls. Most of them, well let me think almost all have had over 10 sexual partners at least 2 or 3 one night stands, and lots of meaningful relationships.

and then femminists get up their goat about girls being happy to be called sluts or whores. Well if we don't take back the word and use it as our own, then we will consistently be made to feel bad about wanting to get it on, I say let us be sexually free and people need to stop making such a fuss about yet again 'what men make us do even though we think we're doing it for ourselves'
Good post.

I think it's worth bearing in mind that social mores change gradually.
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Old 06-07-2010, 08:18 PM   #168
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You seem to always equate, or I should say, conflate, sex with love (ie. feelings of the heart).
Read my earlier posts -- I'm actually making the opposite point (though I do think sex is referred to as "making love" for a reason). However, we're in a culture that frequently makes the assumption that sexual compatability is the same thing as a loving relationship, and whose sexual barometers are fictional characters -- whether James Bond for the men or Samantha for the ladies. (Which seems to lay to rest the whole debate about whether media portrayals of sexuality actually have any impact.) Hence, the discussion we're having about the struggle to contextualize healthy sexuality.

This struggle cuts both ways, by the way -- from religiously conservative 19 year old boys who are told that they can't have sex without getting married, to liberated women who are told to have sex like men.

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Do you think that sex outside of a loving relationship is harmful?
I don't know what you mean by "harmful."
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Old 06-07-2010, 08:26 PM   #169
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I don't know what you mean by "harmful."
I guess I mean, do you think that having sex outside of a committed, loving relationship necessarily has negative consequences for the parties involved?
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Old 06-07-2010, 08:38 PM   #170
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Hence, the discussion we're having about the struggle to contextualize healthy sexuality.
Ah, the good sex vs bad sex debate.

What, precisely, is "healthy sexuality"? I'm not convinced there is any such thing as "unhealthy" sexuality, apart from practices that involve coercion - which has nothing got to do with sexuality anyway, but has more to do with straightforward abuse.


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This struggle cuts both ways, by the way -- from religiously conservative 19 year old boys who are told that they can't have sex without getting married, to liberated women who are told to have sex like men.
I agree that it cuts both ways, but what do you mean as regards being "told" to have sex like men? Media representations of sexuality have become a lot more provocative in recent years, certainly, but I'm not sure what the basis for the argument that "liberated women having sex like men" is a bad thing, in an of itself. I don't dismiss the argument out of hand, I'm just not seeing the logic here.
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Old 06-07-2010, 11:06 PM   #171
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I honestly think the biggest problem is that everybody is way too nosy about other people's sex lives to begin with. Who, what, where, when, why, how? Why should I care what two (or more) consenting adults are doing in the privacy of their bedroom anyway, unless it's to perhaps get inspiration for fun things to do in my own life? You're celibate, you have sex every week, you are in a 10 year relationship or have one night stands...so what? All I care about is that all parties involved are being safe and fully consenting in whatever they're doing. Once that's established, do whatever you enjoy doing, it's none of my concern at that point anymore.

And I too will give a to dazzlingamy's post. Very well put.

Angela
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Old 06-08-2010, 02:31 AM   #172
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I guess I mean, do you think that having sex outside of a committed, loving relationship necessarily has negative consequences for the parties involved?
I don't know; I've yet to meet someone who's suffered negative consequences from sex in a committed, loving relationship.

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I'm not convinced there is any such thing as "unhealthy" sexuality, apart from practices that involve coercion - which has nothing got to do with sexuality anyway, but has more to do with straightforward abuse.
Infidelity and unprotected sex are just two obvious examples of unhealthy sexuality. And that's without getting into the whole matter of selfish or unselfish sexuality...

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Media representations of sexuality have become a lot more provocative in recent years, certainly, but I'm not sure what the basis for the argument that "liberated women having sex like men" is a bad thing, in an of itself.
I'm not sure it's a bad thing either -- Dazzlingamy's point about women not being able to enjoy sex without being put into the "Whore" category is well-taken. But it seems like telling a woman that the way "liberated women" enjoy sex is to enjoy it like a man is somewhat missing the point.
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Old 06-08-2010, 03:54 AM   #173
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already Ive read about a guy dating a girl for 5 months and only having s** 10 times, and he's complainin..........about that...............
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Old 06-08-2010, 08:12 AM   #174
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already Ive read about a guy dating a girl for 5 months and only having s** 10 times, and he's complainin..........about that...............
Well this is a slightly different topic...
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Old 06-08-2010, 09:34 AM   #175
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but they all are kinda under the one Topic umbrella B.


anyhow, Amy yea you have point and yes media not helping, its encouraging........in fact in my eyes, the media makes women out to be that its okay for guys to use and abuse them (Im talking consent here!), for self satisfaction. I suppose again, the whole 'caveman' thang.

the media has too much tight control over women anyway....it almost implies that men have more stretch on things, and women have limit.
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Old 06-08-2010, 09:51 AM   #176
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but they all are kinda under the one Topic umbrella B.
I don't really think they are, the amount of sex within a consentual monogamous relationship is up to the individuals. And how much is too much or too little has little to do with media, cougars, or sugardaddies.
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Old 06-08-2010, 10:08 AM   #177
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hmm Im reading something that displays relation to.


never mind then

Cul Difference................
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Old 06-08-2010, 10:15 AM   #178
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This struggle cuts both ways, by the way -- from religiously conservative 19 year old boys who are told that they can't have sex without getting married, to liberated women who are told to have sex like men.


i'm uncomfortable with this formulation. do you mean to say that adult women are as impressionable and vulnerable as teenage boys?

is it possible that women may choose to have sex "like men" -- we're still understanding her behavior in male terms, rather than on it's own -- and aren't told one thing or the next?

the bigger issue i'm having is the continued notion of women constantly being "pressured" into this or that. when we're talking about teenagers, yes, absolutely.

but adult women?

can adult women speak to this?
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Old 06-08-2010, 10:16 AM   #179
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Well I think sugar daddies/cougars all boils down to differences that still exist in how men and women are viewed in terms of sex and relationships. And the media does play a part in that. Doesn't matter how private relationships are between people-the judgment, labeling, stereotypes still exist.
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Old 06-08-2010, 10:16 AM   #180
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hmm Im reading something that displays relation to.
Then I apologize maybe I'm just not seeing the correlation or you aren't giving enough context to explain.
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