Lube Me Up

[cujo]

Oh it is summer again... overexposure has sunburnt my arms and back. Is there any lass out there who wants to tend to my sensitive pink areas? A little lotion and TLC (tender lovin' cujo) would go a long way... volunteers? objectifiers? Professional massage therapists are preferred, but not required.

 

[Red Ships of Scalla-Festa]

if you said lube...did you just say lube?

 

[cujo]

lube it was... the announcer did proclaim.

 

[ILuvLarryMullen]

i would, but then i wouldn't really be able to call myself your stalker anymore, would I? Then I'd have to go through the trouble of finding someone else to stalk, yadda, yadda, yadda. I will watch you get lubed up through your bedroom window though

 

[cujo]

Take a chance ILLM
Take a chance.

ABBA compels you to.

 

[ILuvLarryMullen]

lube has a special place in bear's heart, it got him kicked out of pleba.

 

[ILuvLarryMullen]

ABBA has no power over me. BUT if you can get Ace of Base that is a whole nother story.

 

[mmmBono]

even better yet...how about we both watch bear lube cujo?

 

[cujo]

even better yet...how about we both watch bear lube cujo?

Oh ladies and their feministic fantasies of homoeroticism... what is it about two guys that lights your flame?

What are you gonna do... women.

Now, how about some rubbin?

 

[notiti]

Ok what do you want me to use?
Astro Glide or STROKE?

 

[ILuvLarryMullen]

or what if we watch bear lube cujo while ace of base performed, that would be truely kick ass

 

[cujo]

Ok what do you want me to use?
Astro Glide or STROKE?

Anything Swedish... that will satisfy the ILLM contigent.

But something abrasive, maybe use sandpaper?

The Stroke sounds promising

 

[cujo]

Cancel the sandpaper... I am burnt you know.

Maybe a loofa... is that what they're called?

 

[ManGrenade]

or what if we watch bear lube cujo while ace of base performed, that would be truely kick ass

HOW SEXY.

 

[u2popmofo]

This thread makes me sad.

Apparently Cujo has moved on. My services have become obsolete.

I want to cry.

 

[cujo]

This thread makes me sad.

Apparently Cujo has moved on. My services have become obsolete.

I want to cry.

There's always room for Mofo!

Jello is for pissants.

 

[u2popmofo]

There's always room for Mofo!

Jello is for pissants.

I'd like to know where you have "room" for me.

I'll bring the jello, you bring the piss...ants.

 

[cujo]

There's room in the back.

 

[cujo]

I'm actually very badly burned... please ointment my vulnerable spots... how much they yearn for aloe vera attention.

 

[u2popmofo]

This is beginning to sound like the lyrics to any number of recent rap songs.

That's probably why I'm getting ever so "jiggy with it" right now.

Pump up the jams, pump it up Cujo.

 

[cujo]

Groove is in the Heart Mofo

Now where is my Miss-DeeLite?

 

[u2popmofo]

Let me see that thong, all night long.
Thong, thong, thong, thong, thong.


When I think about you I touch myself.

 

[cujo]

Dreamweaver,

I believe you can get me through the night.

 

[u2popmofo]

If you start me up, I'll never stop

(in regards to making disturbing comments in threads, among other 'things')

 

[cujo]

Hey this is the eighties and I'm down with the ladies...

where the ladies?

 

[u2popmofo]

Dude Looks Like a Lady

 

[cujo]

Lola?

 

[Mrs. Vedder]

you two are too cute!

 

[u2popmofo]

Billy Zane is not my lover

 

[cujo]

Well ladies I may not need help in the relief department any longer... for I've found a much easier way to satisfy myself (my burn that is)...

How do you spell Relief? Well I don't know how you do, but I spell it Ben Gay!

Is there anything that lube can't do? For my burns that is?