Help me die-hard Star Wars fans, you're my only hope

[LMP]

I'm making a trailer for the "30th Anniversary" of Star Wars with my action figures and Micro Machine ships. The joke is that it's the trailer for Lucas's final, definitive version of the Star Wars saga, and it's extremely cheesy (wires on the ships, hands moving the characters, no real sets, etc...) but with dialogue and music from the movie.

I have figures of every major character from the movies and some minors (Greedo, Ackbar, even some Shadows of the Empire characters)

I'm going to storyboard the trailer with scene snippets from the real movies, then try and recreate them myself.

So please, if you have any suggestions or advice, I'd greatly appreciate it.

 

[Canadiens1131]

IT'S A TRAP!

 

[UberBeaver]

3 words: More.Boba.Fett.

 

[U2MaNaIcWeIdO]

No Jar Jar!

 

[snowbunny00774]

I think you should have a scene of leia (sp?) doing her hair. I was mezmorized by it when I was a kid. Needless to say my mom hates her

 

[Lancemc]

You totally need that one scene where Lucas hammers that big nail into the top of the giant coffin and kicks it into the big hole in the ground.

 

[snowbunny00774]

You totally need that one scene where Lucas hammers that big nail into the top of the giant coffin and kicks it into the big hole in the ground.

and as with all final definitive versions, make sure a shovel is visible somewhere in the background of the scene

 

[Lancemc]

and as with all final definitive versions, make sure a shovel is visible somewhere in the background of the scene

 

[UberBeaver]

You totally need that one scene where Lucas hammers that big nail into the top of the giant coffin and kicks it into the big hole in the ground.

You mean the scene where that horse drops dead, but Lucas beats the shit out of it anyway?

 

[UberBeaver]

and as with all final definitive versions, make sure a shovel is visible somewhere in the background of the scene

Easter eggs.

 

[LMP]

Here's what I'm definitely using:

The pan from Jabba to Han in the Carbonite
IT'S A TRAP!
Luke vs. Vader I ("No... I am your father")
Jar Jar gets kicked in the face by Boba Fett
Mace Windu kicks ass
Yoda jumping around vs. Dooku
The Trash Compactor Scene
The Asteroid Field
"Anakin... You're Breaking My Heart..."
Lando kicking ass
Darth Maul vs. Obi-Wan vs. Qui-Gon
Han Solo kicking ass
No Ewoks (eaten by Jabba)

Basically every lame prequel character gets shot in the face by Boba Fett and Mace Windu. I guess it's a combination of real shots from the movies + ridiculous fantasy at the expense of the shitty prequels.

 

[snowbunny00774]

Here's what I'm definitely using:

The pan from Jabba to Han in the Carbonite
IT'S A TRAP!
Luke vs. Vader I ("No... I am your father")
Jar Jar gets kicked in the face by Boba Fett
Mace Windu kicks ass
Yoda jumping around vs. Dooku
The Trash Compactor Scene
The Asteroid Field
"Anakin... You're Breaking My Heart..."
Lando kicking ass
Darth Maul vs. Obi-Wan vs. Qui-Gon
Han Solo kicking ass
No Ewoks (eaten by Jabba)
Leia's dress all disheveled and she's smiling while rebraiding and tying her hair

this is going to be great

 

[LMP]

I'm probably adding some of Sam Jackson's one-liners in here too:

"Yes they deserve to die, and I hope they burn in hell!"

referring to Ewoks/Gungans

 

[UberBeaver]

Here's what I'm definitely using:

The pan from Jabba to Han in the Carbonite
IT'S A TRAP!
Luke vs. Vader I ("No... I am your father")
Jar Jar gets kicked in the face by Boba Fett
Mace Windu kicks ass
Yoda jumping around vs. Dooku
The Trash Compactor Scene
The Asteroid Field
"Anakin... You're Breaking My Heart..."
Lando kicking ass
Darth Maul vs. Obi-Wan vs. Qui-Gon
Han Solo kicking ass
No Ewoks (eaten by Jabba)

Basically every lame prequel character gets shot in the face by Boba Fett and Mace Windu. I guess it's a combination of real shots from the movies + ridiculous fantasy at the expense of the shitty prequels.

I salute you, sir. Godspeed.

 

[UberBeaver]

I'm probably adding some of Sam Jackson's one-liners in here too:

"Yes they deserve to die, and I hope they burn in hell!"

referring to Ewoks/Gungans

I love that line. Also:

"Shit, I'm the foot fuckin master."

 

[LMP]

This might take a week or two, it all depends on me tracking down the loose accessories/characters, but I'll post it as soon as I can.

 

[Lancemc]

You should end the trailer with Boba Fett pulling Lucas with him into the Sarlac pit.

 

[LMP]

I don't have a Sarlacc pit, but I could make like a cheesy picture version of it, but it would look like a huge vagina.

 

[Lancemc]

I really don't think we need to see your vagina. Just leave that scene out then.

 

[LMP]

That'll be for when I recreate Boogie Nights with my Star Trek figures.

 

[Lancemc]

That's hot.

and for the record:

Return of the Jedi > Star Wars

 

[LMP]

How could you say that? Anakin... you're breaking my heart.

First hour of Jedi >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Everything after they land on Endor

The first movie is such a classic though. It might be a bit slow at first, but it's the absolute shit throughout.

Jedi had the potential to be the best, even better than Empire, but it failed for 2 reasons:

Ewoks
Vader's redemption (see the Pan's Labyrinth thread for more details)

 

[Lancemc]

Ummmm, you wish.

The firs thour of Jedi is indeed awesometastic to the max, but the second half of Jedi also has the best space battle ever put to film, and the most beautiful lightsaber dual in the entire series. Plus Vader throws Palpy into the lightening chasm...


...Plus it has Admiral Ackbar.

You're out of your mind young padawan.

 

[UberBeaver]

I don't have a Sarlacc pit, but I could make like a cheesy picture version of it, but it would look like a huge vagina.

I feel like this should some sound appealing, but it really doesn't. It's almost disturbing, actually.


And dude, I'll give you Pan's Labyrinth, but DO NOT say Jedi > Star Wars, cause then I need to stop taking you seriously, and assume there is something really wrong with you and fit you with a little red helmet.

 

[LMP]

Ummmm, you wish.

The firs thour of Jedi is indeed awesometastic to the max, but the second half of Jedi also has the best space battle ever put to film, and the most beautiful lightsaber dual in the entire series. Plus Vader throws Palpy into the lightening chasm...


...Plus it has Admiral Ackbar.

You're out of your mind young padawan.

Okay, the space battle is the best and the lightsaber duel is great, plus the Palpatine stuff, but everything on Endor kills it, I'm sorry.

You have:
Awesome shit in space
Awesome shit between Luke/Vader/Palpster
Half-a-Wookies beating the Empire with rocks and sticks on the ground?

Watch how completely out of place the ground battle was, and think of how badass it would've been if
A) Wookies instead of Ewoks
B) On Coruscant with Rebel troops/mercenaries vs. the Empire

 

[Lancemc]

I honestly NEVER understood what the big fuss was over the Ewoks. Never will either. I thought they were unique and entertaining. The ground battle definitely doesn't kill the film. Plus, Star Wars, outside of the first half hour, the Ben + Luke dialogue, and the trench run was really pretty boring.

Plus it's simply a basic mathematical law of cinema that Not-Directed-By-George-Lucas >>> Directed-By-George-Lucas.

 

[LMP]

I still think The Empire Strikes Back is the best Star Wars flick ever and that's not a Lucas-directed one.

That Empire of Dreams doc was talking about Lucas's problem with the Director's Guild that caused him to quit his membership. Because he quit, he wasn't able to hire Spielberg to direct Jedi. That would've been amazing.

Spielberg did get a chance to direct Anakin and Obi-Wan's duel in Episode III though, arguably one of the best scenes in the prequel trilogy.

Even though I complain about Jedi, it's still one of my favorite movies and I'd watch it any day, some days just for Ackbar.

 

[Lancemc]

Empire is definitely the best one.

But I just felt like saying that Jedi > Star Wars.

 

[LMP]

I feel ya dawg, you just like to stir shit

The Empire Strikes Back
A New Hope
Return of the Jedi
Revenge of the Sith
Attack of the Clones
The Phantom Menace

That is the way of things.

 

[Lancemc]

It just seems like it's assumed that everyone thinks Jedi is the worst of the OT. Not so.

But

Empire
Jedi
Star Wars
Sith
Menace
Clones

for me.