Have you ever wondered what the hell I'm going to with my life?

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Jun 24, 2000
I about to graduate from college and have goals, but none of them are easy. I wish that I could plan my whole life ahead of time so I wouldn't have to worry about the uncertainies of the future. I wish I had more time to plan for the future, and to build for the future.

Does anyone out there understand what I'm going through? I'm a total wreck and it's making me have a nervous breakdown!

Grad School. MBA.. It can't hurt in anything you do.. and there's lots of 1 year programs out there...

But I also hear that Alan Alda in the market for a new masseuse... ya kno.. one of those oriental types.

L. Unplugged

[This message has been edited by Lemonite (edited 01-23-2002).]
Originally posted by Danospano:
I about to graduate from college and have goals, but none of them are easy.

What college helped create that sentence?

*raises hand*

I'm there! It sucks.
Talk about being "stuck in a moment that you can't get out of..."

Originally posted by Danospano:
I wish that I could plan my whole life ahead of time

that wouldn't in any way be a good life.
it wouldn't even be a life really.
you're not a sim, dammit. i understand what you're going through cause i'm starting to feel it as i near the end of my (1st) degree with grad school ahead, but uncertainty is part of the excitement of life.


[This message has been edited by kobayashi (edited 01-24-2002).]
You don't have to have it all figured out right now. I remember how stressful that period was for me (a long time ago) but I just chilled out, took some odd jobs, traveled a bit, and enjoyed the freedom of being out of the educational system at last for a couple of years. Things kind of fell into place after that. Everyone goes through what you're feeling in varying degrees, so try not to worry too much or be too hard on yourself. It'll work out.
Yes, I'm a college senior and I'm constantly stressed over this. Blah.

You will believe in me
And I can never be ignored
I'm there right now. Graduated a month ago. I feel like I'm living in hell...*sigh*


"He had lived through an age when men and women with energy and ruthlessness but without much ability or persistence excelled. And even though most of them had gone under, their ignorance had confused Roy, making him wonder whether the things he had striven to learn, and thought of as 'culture,' were irrelevant. Everything was supposed to be the same: commercials, Beethoven's late quartets, pop records, shopfronts, Freud, multi-coloured hair. Greatness, comparison, value, depth: gone, gone, gone. Anything could give some pleasure; he saw that. But not everything provided the sustenance of a deeper understanding." - Hanif Kureishi, Love in a Blue Time
Well, I don't have any enlightening advice, just some commiseration.

I'm 25 and have already accomplished every goal I've ever set for myself. I've got two degrees and my dream job, I've seen U2 live, and I have no idea what to do with the rest of my life, however long it may be.

I'm thinking that things just have a way of working themselves out. So I look forward to the adventure of tomorrow and keep going, trying to enjoy myself along the way.

And if you really think you're going crazy, therapy can be a big relief. It can even be fun.

Good luck.

U2 @ The Blooming Heart
To be honest, confessing my insecurities to a bunch of U2 fans was the best therapy. I already feel much better and I think I won't be worrying as much about the future. I've already accomplished a lot in my life, so I know I can accomplish much, much more.

Thanks for the advice!
Some people are very lucky, they know *exactly* what they want to do with their lives early on. But you'd be surprised when talking with people from all walks of life, that those people are few and far between.

Some people have dreams of being astronauts or great scientists or fantastic writers or philophers or singers or ballerinas: each hope of chasing the dream and ultimately making their mark on society in a good way. But the reality is, we all don't get to grow up to be what we want to be, as life is a journey that takes us through many twists and turns, dips and drops.

For a lot of people including myself when I was younger, the future may seem dreadfully uncertain at time and upon entering the 'real world' after your education is complete, and this can be so frightening. It was constantly pounded in my head that I needed to attain certain goals or I would be a worthless bum with a worthless life. Chock it up to that incessant pounding done by the school board or by my family - but I think it's nearly impossible for someone so young to have their lives mapped out so perfectly because life is full of surprises and uncertainty.

What I found out later on (hindsight is 20/20) is that when I reached adulthood and got out of college, it was expected of me to take a certain path. This prospect, to put it lightly, scared the living crap out of me. I had a small window of time in which I could reach a goal and settle myself into my life's work and continue to succeed until my golden years.

But it didn't work out that way, of course, because my life took a lot of turns for the worse, and a lot of turns for the better. There were times when life was sweet and life was bitter, and looking back I can safely say that my life has been bittersweet so far. I have no regrets, I've lived a full life so far and have experienced so many things I wouldn't have been able to experience had I not taken chances outside o the realm of my supposed impending success.

Sure I have goals, and I have accheived a lot of previous goals - but right now in my life with everything else going on, time really isn't of essence like it was when I was young and twenty because I want to enjoy what life has to offer whether it be a grueling challenge or a night at a concert. I look forward to experiencing what my life has to offer, even the good and the bad. It's just the way life is and when you realize that you'll be much happier. The realization process really does take a long time, but there's that old saying carpe diem. You know, seize the day. It's good to have life goals but it's healthy to enjoy yourself on your way to realizing those goals, you know what I mean?

It's easier said than done, but try not to stress about the life ahead of you. Seize the day and cherish those moments because you don't want to live a life full of regret. Take risks but don't take risks at the expense of others or your well being. You're young, and you should travel and see the world while nothing right now is holding you back. You'll be glad you did. Find something that gives you solace, whether it be religion or a good book or good music. Make more friends, get a 'fun' job and take it easy. You'll find that your life alone isn't neatly planned out like the Sims as kobayashi pointed out, and despite what's been pounded in your head all these years, the uncertainty isn't really a bad thing...
Then there are the losers like me, who never went to college. And now feel that I am past the point of being able to. Sure I've got a job that I love, and I make ok money, but this job cant last forever. Then what.

I think my prob is I live one day at a time and dont think ahead. But yeah, life is short, soon it wont matter.

It's cold in the ground
But there's peace in the sound
Of the white and the black
Spilling over

Sicy's Website

Sicy's FTP
Graduated undergrad December 1999.
Two useless Bachelors degree.
Still unemployed since then.
All my "friends" are getting married or on track to become doctors and lawyers.

And I'm way behind running this race called life.


[This message has been edited by theSoulfulMofo (edited 01-24-2002).]
Originally posted by SicilianGoddess:
me, who never went to college. And now feel that I am past the point of being able to.

Horseshit! My husband is 39, and he'll graduate with a BFA in sculpture in May. It's never too late to go to college if that's what you want. Don't sell youself short, Sicy. You are one of the smartest, cleverest, funniest people on this board. The way you use words is delightful. You would kick ass in any college; they'd be screaming for you to stay to do a grad degree.

I'm not just talking out of my ass, at least not about this. If you want to go to school, GO! Any time spent getting any kind of education is never wasted. This goes for the rest of you, as well.

Ok, I'll shut up now.

I can truly relate to what you're feeling and I'm sorry you are going through what most of us go through. All I can say is, follow what you want most, your heart even - but that sounds too corny. No, I mean it. Follow what you really want, not what your parents, friends, or even your MIND says.

Most importantly, don't feel pressured or hurried into anything, that would be the wrost you could do. Take some time out for yourself and reflect on your life. I'm sure everything will turn out fine, as it was meant to be.

Please take care;
Originally posted by SicilianGoddess:
Then there are the losers like me, who never went to college. And now feel that I am past the point of being able to. Sure I've got a job that I love, and I make ok money, but this job cant last forever. Then what.
Don't sell yourself short, Sicy. Not having gone to college doesn't automatically make you a loser. I didn't, and I have my own house, a great career, my own business, freedom and independence. The important thing is to find out exactly what you want, and when opportunity presents itself, grab it with both hands.

Apart from that, I concur with what Martha said.
Wow... thanks martha, and klod. That was really cool.

Well one problem may also be that I have no desire to go back to school.

Then I always hear about people getting degrees or whatever and still not having or being able to find a job.. and it just makes me even less interested.

But if something comes up that I really want, you better believe I'll grab it!
Originally posted by SicilianGoddess:
Then there are the losers like me, who never went to college. And now feel that I am past the point of being able to. Sure I've got a job that I love, and I make ok money, but this job cant last forever. Then what.

As someone who teaches at a university, I can honestly say that college isn't for everyone. I think there is a myth/stereotype in the US that you have to go to college in order to be successful. It's just not true, but I see a lot of students who hate college and should probably pursue something that will make them happier. They just go to college because it's the thing to do, not because it is a means to an end they want to achieve. That's why, IMHO, so many people come out with degrees that they don't use or don't need.

So if you didn't go to college and don't really feel the need to, then don't. That doesn't make you a loser in my book!

U2 @ The Blooming Heart
O.K., it's definitely time for an "oldee" like me to step in.

I'll be 38 this year. I have a Ph.D. in biochemistry. I just obtained a new job where I'll do work in protein therapeutics. When people say, "Are you working on a cure for cancer?" for the first time in my life, I might actually reply "yes." That is a very special and powerful feeling.

However, did I know I wanted to be a scientist when I was 8? No. Did I know I wanted to do protein therapeutics when I was 22? No.

Half the FUN of life is finding out these discoveries about yourself. Don't view your uncertainties as burdens. Don't try to rush through life because you are too worried about your future. ENJOY IT! That's the WHOLE POINT of life. I just took a new job and I'm moving to another state. There's tons of uncertainties and insecurities there. Instead of worrying about how I might fail, I look at how I might excel. That's the fun of life.

I'm not married. I don't own a house. I have no children. At times, even I feel envious of my friends, those who have those things. Perhaps I "wasted" too much time in school - perhaps school prevented me from "living my life." I think, "If I didn't go to school, I might be married now. I might have children. And I'd definitely have a house." But then I take a closer look. Some of these friends who have these things also went to school with me. School didn't stop me from getting them - it was my choice not to get them. And when I realized that a whole new area of my life opened up. I no longer felt envious or resentful, but rather hopeful and excitied. I finally *seem* to have a handle on my career, but now I have a whole new wonderful area of my life that I have yet to explore.

Life will always be uncertain. And sometimes you do need to live part of it day by day, week by week, month by month and even year by year, until you discover your "path." But once we reach that epiphany and see our paths, we should embrace them. Don't let doubt and insecurity overwhelm you.

Sicy, if you are sure you want to go to school, then do it! It's never too late. I once knew a woman who didn't get her B.S. degree until she was nearly 50. It was her dream to get that degree and when the time was right, she got it. DanoSpano, perhaps you are just meant to work for a few years and gain experience in the world. That may not be what you want, but by embracing that challenge you may then see your future.

I've been on many U2 on-line groups for the past 7 years. All have disappointed me to some extent - but there is something special about Interference. When I became disillusioned here, it was the people of Interference that rose up and carried me on. As such, when I interact here, I only see intelligent, caring people who I know can accomplish anything. Bono wrote that he is unable to "see what you see" when he looks at the world. If this is true, then I actually pity Bono. For when I look at the world, I see a type of beauty I never saw before - I see a hope and a trust in the future. And that is indeed a wonderful sight.
I'm relating way more than I'd like to admit to all of this.

I, too, have come to a crossroads of sorts in my life. After being laid off from a job I really loved and thought I was going to keep for at least a few years, I have been faced with many new roads I can take. I think it's all just a matter of how much I want certain things that will determine where I end up in life.

I hope everyone finds what they really want and finds happiness in it.

Cut out the poetry
Let's hit the main artery
No time for a tourniquet
Let the colour's all run out of me
While filling out my college application form this past week, I decided against majoring in marketing, and chose to go into pharmacy instead. Drastic switch, I know. I am not certain that this is best fit for me... I am going into it rather blindly, but I just keep telling myself that I can accomplish this if I set my mind to it. Science and Math are not my strongest points, which is why I thought I'd aim for a career in marketing... but I find that my interest lies more in the field of pharmacy. My dad is a nuclear pharmacist going on 28 years, so I have a pretty good feel for what it involves.

Anyway, I just wanted to wish everyone luck in their walks of life. Once I had to put a career path down on paper, I got to thinking about it more seriously... I'm going to just see how it goes. For now I'm still completing my senior year of high school, so I'm going to try and set the anxieties on the back burner, atleast until after I graduate

[This message has been edited by Achtung_Bebe (edited 01-26-2002).]
Danospano, I can totally emphasize. If you've ever seen Reality Bites, I lived that. I should get royalties from that movie. Retail sucks. I'm sure you'll catch your breath and rise to the occasion. Keep one foot on the ground and one hand reaching to the stars. Best advice I ever heard.

theSoulfulMofo: I hope you're reading this... I'm sure someone famous said this already: Life is a marathon, the race does not go to the swift but to those who persevere.

It's really all about faith!
I know how you feel, Danaspano. I graduated last month with a Bachelor's degree in art. I know eventually I want to do something in that field, but to be honest, I don't know what. I went into graphic design in college probably because everyone else was, but I think my strength is in my illustration work.I just took a management job at a small store. That job is one I could have most certainly gotten without a degree, but I have never made this much money or have taken to a job so quickly. It's easy and almost stress-free. The best part is that the owners know I will be moving on in a year or two. Hopefully in that time, I can figure out exactly where I want to be in 10 years.

And Sicy, if you ever get the desire to go go back to school, go! I had at least one job in the past where I was making good money, but I just wasn't happy..it wasnt worth it. I know how you feel about not looking too far ahead...Sometimes its good to be restless, and take risks. Fuck it...you only live once.If there's something you know you want to do...do it! You're still young!!!Of course, being able to pay the rent is cool, too.........


When I grow up I'll be stable...

[This message has been edited by njf77 (edited 01-28-2002).]
Not to add additional stress here, but dont just jump into something for the sake of doing it - make sure it's what you really want to do for possibily the rest of your life - because if you dont, you'll end up like me - hating the job that you that you busted your ass 7 years to get!

Holy Jesus, Holy rock and roll...
Wow-See what curiosity can do for you? I was just lookin' in here and Bam-I'm going thru that kind of uncertainity myself! And I thought I was the ONLY one lagging behind in life or somethin'! Whew-you all have put in some GOOD advice and it's really making me think about my next choices in life. It's NOT all about money but enjoying life. And I totally agree Deb-it's about faith! I hope you all find what you're lookin for!peace
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