the little stranger pt 19
(Over two months later)
It wasnt working... Karen came in from her date with Brian that night, they had been to the movies and then to a resturant for something to eat, it had been a nice night, but as Brian kissed Karen goodnight and told her he would phone her to make arrangements to see her again, Karen had smiled and told him she was looking forward to it.. when in truth she didn't really care.
As hard as she had tried to feel more than just a friendly warmth for Brian.. it just wasnt happening.. it wasnt that he was doing anything wrong, he had treated her great.. but she knew she was not going to fall in love with him.. not now not ever and she was feeling guilty because he still seemed pretty keen on her.. and she didnt want to lead him on.. or hurt him.. this little plan that going out with Brian would make her forget about Bono just was not working.
Bono had never asked her about Brian again after that conversation.
When he phoned they talked about Katie, or what was happening on the tour.. it had been Karen's undoing when Bono admitted that he missed having Katie around and her as well... she was missing him, everytime he phoned and she heard his voice her heart went crazy.. another reason she knew that it was not going to happen with Brian, she never got those feelings when she was around him as much as she would have liked to. Now it was time to stop fooling herself.. Brian was not the answer to squash her feelings for Bono.
Now she was stuck in the dilemma of what to do about Brian, and kicked herself for acting on her impulse at Katie's Birthday party.
Liv noticed that Karen had become more subdued lately, and she always seemed worried or miles away, she started to get concerned and decided to find out if everything was ok at one of their regular friday afternoon lunches.
"Karen I hope you don't think I am nosying into your business.. but I have noticed lately you seemed troubled about something" Liv spoke up "Is there something on your mind?"
Karen felt her cheeks heat up guiltily, just before Liv had spoken she had been thinking about Bono she had seen him ina magazine with a pretty brunette which had been shot outside some nightclub, she was wondering was there some rrelationship going on.
But she couldnt let Liv know this. Then there was still the problem of Brian, was wanting to take their relationship more serious.. whilist she wanted to end it.. only didnt know how.
"Actually I am in a bit of a mess" she then spoke up
"Oh?" Liv stared at her questionably
"Yes.. its about Brian" Karen sighed "I mean he is a nice guy and fun to be with, but I don't think I am in love with him.. but I think he is falling in love with me"
"I see" Liv replied and frowned "You have been seeing him for a while. I thought things were good with the both of you"
Karen shrugged "I liked him.. but thats just it I still like him, I am just not in love with him.. and I don't know how to let him know without hurting him" she finished gloomily.
"There is no easy way" Liv replied "But if you really feel like its going nowhere were you are concerned.. don't string him along believing that there is"
"I know" Karen replied miserably "I have been telling myself that this past week.. I just wish I had the courage to tell him I keep putting it of.. but you are right I have to do it now before he wants us to get more serious"
"The longer you leave it the harder it will get" Liv warned her. "When are you seeing him again?"
Well my next day of is the end of the week, I will probably see him then" Karen replied
"hmm you will probably lose your nerve again by that time.. look give him a ring and arrange to meet him tonight.. I will take Katie of your hands, there is a show I am taking my kids Katie will enjoy it too"
Karen thought about the offer, and filled with renewed determination to get herself out of the mess with Brian, she agreed.
It was difficult facing Brian that night, she almost chickened out again.. but now that Liv knew about it and had given her this chance she couldnt back out.
Brian seemed to notice Karen wasn't herself and seemed uncomfortable and when he asked her if there was something wrong she took a deep breath and tried to tell him in the gentlest way possible that she didnt think she should see him anymore, that she wasnt ready for a relationship yet.. and that she was sorry she liked him a lot but wasn't in love with him, then she had cried and apologised because she told him she had never ment to lead him on or hurt him.
Brian was upset, but said he was glad she had told him the truth of how she felt.. he didnt want to look a fool, getting more involved with her when she wasnt really interested. trying to undo the awkward atmosphere between them they promised to keep in touch as friends.
Brian drove her home both had very little to say, Karen was glad it had been a short journey. she was upset that she had hurt him.. but also relieved that she had let him know how she felt, like a burden had been lifted off her shoulders
Brian muttered goodnight as she got out of the car.. and as if not being able to stand being around her he drove of fast.
Karen watched his car disappear up the road, then headed for the house.
She was a little surprised to see the lights shining on the kitchen and living room, Bridie should have gone home by now, and Katie was staying at Liv's for the night, thinking it would be better her having her after dealing wityh brian Karen might feel a bit of an emotional mess.
Karen now cautiously entered the house going into the kitchen to see if Bridie had left the light on, she almost jumped out of her wits when she heard Bono's voice behind her.
"Ahh there you are" she swung round to face him.
"Bono?... w-what are you doing here?"
"Well I planned on surprising you all.. but it seems a wasted journey seeing no one was home" Bono replied sounding annoyed
"Where is Katie?" he then demanded.
"She is with Liv" Karen replied
"Oh.. I could have sworn I was paying you to look after her not Liv" he snapped, she was startled by his anger.. not sure where it was coming from.
"Sh-she offered to mind Katie because I had to see Brian about something important..." Karen tried to explain to him.
"Oh I see" Bon's tone was dripping sarcasm "and what was so important about seeing your boyfriend you couldnt be bothered with my daughter?"
Karen felt her cheeks flame.. this was the last thing she needed or expected, why was he acting so angry with her, it was bad enough she had to look at Brian tonight and face his hurt, which had shattered her nerves now to come home to this, that he was almost accusing her of abandoning Katie, which was unfair and unjust.
"Actually If you must know I just broke up with him... not that I should have to explain my personal business to you, but I can assure you that Katie is well cared for, I just didnt dump her on Liv, she offered to take her to a show along with her kids and keep her overnight.. of course if you had phoned and let us know you would be coming then it might have been different, but as we are not mind readers I think it is very unfair blaming it on me"
She was doing her best not to let it all get to her, but it had been just too much and she burst into tears and fled to her room not wanting to face Bono.
Bono stared after her, seeing her falling apart like that his anger and annoyance vanishing, now he felt like kicking himself.
He had gotten the chance to spend the weekend in Dublin and thought he would surprise them by arriving home, when he got there and realised the house was empty he was disapointed and puzzled, he had panicked wondering had something happened to Katie
He had tried Karen's cell phone but it had been turned of.. which had annoyed him.. he wondered where she had gotten to with Katie so late in the evening.. then she had walked in minus Katie he didnt know what to think or what was going on, he knew he had been unreasonable, but when she had mentioned she had been with Brian, he felt an overwhelming irrational surge of annoyance that had made him snap at her.
Of course she had been right, how could they know to be there if he hadnt told them.. and deep down he knew she would never neglect Katie, now what he had hoped would turn out to be a nice surprise had turned into a disaster
"Way to go" Bono muttered to his reflection sourly in the mirror
Of course now he is going to have make it up to her.. which leads to interesting consquences
Nooo, don't leave it there! I'm so impatient, but this is good. More? Pwetty pwease?
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