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-   -   What Would Jesus Drive? (https://www.u2interference.com/forums/f290/what-would-jesus-drive-68573.html)

V Nura 11-27-2002 09:34 AM

Mercedes and a Beamer. ..no question


and deep


LMAO

ouizy 11-27-2002 12:23 PM

Jesus would drive a pimped out Cadillac Escalade.

I think it would be white with black tinted windows.

It would have a light gray leather interior with seat heaters.

it would have an X-Box and DVD hook-up with satellite internet availability on its flat panel screens installed in teh back of the headrests.

it would have a very loud sound system, that would play U2 Cd's out of its 100 disc changer located in the trunk.

This huge SUV would run on water and give off no emissions because, well, he is Jesus.

UltravioletU2 11-27-2002 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ouizy
Jesus would drive a pimped out Cadillac Escalade.

I think it would be white with black tinted windows.

It would have a light gray leather interior with seat heaters.

it would have an X-Box and DVD hook-up with satellite internet availability on its flat panel screens installed in teh back of the headrests.

it would have a very loud sound system, that would play U2 Cd's out of its 100 disc changer located in the trunk.

This huge SUV would run on water and give off no emissions because, well, he is Jesus.

:up:

:lmao::lol::lmao::lol:

Oh my, that was good, very good!

joyfulgirl 11-27-2002 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by deep
Jesus would tool around in a vintage Plymouth because "the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury."


In Psalm 83, the Almighty apparently owned a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm," although theologians aren't sure how a Geo Storm could be considered terrifying, unless it had those scary shooting flames painted on the sides.

Another scripture indicates that Yahweh favored Dodge pickup trucks. Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain until "the Ram's horn sounds a long blast."

God also owned an AMC vehicle. In the book of Exodus, he promised to "send the Hornet ahead of you to drive the Hivites, Canaanites and Hittites out of your way."

Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but preferred not to discuss it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel in which Christ tells a crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord."

Debate continues over whether the Lord's Honda had bumper stickers that said, "My other car is a flaming chariot," "Honk if you love me" or "This is my beloved son, in whom I am well-pleased because he was an honor student at Galilee Elementary."

In another transportation-related scripture: Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills."

:lol:


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