when the warm hope greeted me
a soul rush, exhilaratingly high
I strepped back to soak it in
and you left me wondering why
what is the spark, the insane connection
that lights the flame to dance in the wind
your spoiled beauty trampled me under
and left me standing where I'd never been
even if it's only a flash, a broken second
your heart is still wrapped around my mind
please don't ever go, please don't ever leave me
and I wonder if you've left me blind
your poem is about what artsy people mean when they speak of the 'sublime'. Most times, the same people don't know how to explain what the 'sublime' is, but your poem certainly describes it spot on.
I like every sentence in it.
I really like how you have simplified words this time https://www.u2news.com/u2feedback/smile.gif and as a result, the rhyming scheme is almost unnoticeable--full marks for subtlety!
It's the question that drives us Neo...It's the question that brought you here. You know the question, just as I did.
[This message has been edited by foray (edited 04-02-2001).]
If this poem is about wondering why you were ever in love with someone, but still feeling drawn to them against your will--it's perfect.
try listening to "Scarlet" when you read back these beautiful words of yours BabyGrace https://www.u2news.com/u2feedback/smile.gif
Simply beautiful BabyG, there is something to be said for that special soul who you have had a chance to meet. Even if for only just one second, their light leaves you so stunned that it stays with you even in their absence, at least thats what i get from your poem. you used some beautiful imigary here, wish i could put my thoughts and feelings down into words the way you do. you are a big inspiration to us all!!, never stop writing.. https://www.u2news.com/u2feedback/smile.gif
Lest we forget;
a flame well spent;)
thank you so much dreamers..
what you said Bacchus...thank you...that really means a lot
foray, you know what? I was thinking about the other one...it's not the words, its the rhythm...my syllables don't match up anywhere because if I try that I lose stuff...
I think that's why it sounds so awkward https://www.u2news.com/u2feedback/smile.gif
scattero..I write tons about light-dark imagery..I think it accounts for at least half my writing..
Wanderer, that sounded really awesome..
when I first read that, I didn't think it would but then again, you seem to have a talent for finding the combinations https://www.u2news.com/u2feedback/smile.gif
hmm...Im tired I tried to post another but my comp is being abusive and won't let me post pasted messages so...
good night people
[This message has been edited by BabyGrace (edited 04-05-2001).]
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