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Hitman 10-05-2001 07:17 PM

Sexual Promiscuity
 
Ahhh...the subject of sexual promiscuity.....

I have a question for guys.....

Would you object if you found out your 'serious' girlfriend had slept with in excess of 10-13 different guys? Would this make you any less likely to want to marry her?

For women: Does the amount of girls a man has slept with sway you one way or the other? Would you object or be turned on to a number of women he has slept with?"

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You Just Can't Get Enough Of That Lovey Dovey Stuff...

80sU2isBest 10-05-2001 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hitman:
Ahhh...the subject of sexual promiscuity.....

I have a question for guys.....

Would you object if you found out your 'serious' girlfriend had slept with in excess of 10-13 different guys? Would this make you any less likely to want to marry her?

It would make me seriously consider my decision to marry her. I probably would not want to marry her. I know the past is the past and we all make mistakes, but since I view non-marital sex as wrong, 10-13 sounds less like a mistake and more like a lifestyle. I just couldn't bring myself to marry her.

mikal 10-05-2001 07:53 PM

I'd definitely marry her! I love a girl with experience!

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Macphisto worships me!

Hitman 10-05-2001 09:15 PM

I certainly do not view pre-marital sex as wrong.......
If I did, I would certainly be on the wrong many many times.....
I know it's hyporcitical. I have slept with a fair number of women in my life.....but I wouldn't want the woman I marry to have had over 10 sexual partners...even over 4 or 5 I kind of don't like... I say this knowing I have a double standard, but, what can I say, that is just how I feel.....
Are there any other guys (much respect to 80s U2is Best -- I respect your view on pre-marital sex in general as I come from an Irish Catholic family) who actually believe and have pre-marital sex who have these contradictory feelings??????????

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You Just Can't Get Enough Of That Lovey Dovey Stuff...

Crzy4Bono 10-05-2001 10:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mikal:
I'd definitely marry her! I love a girl with experience!


LMFAO at your status! ha ha ha (sorry mikal)

A harem girl who loves a girl with experience! https://forum.u2wdd.org/u2feedback/wink.gif ha ha ha

(BTW, it would bother me if my boyfriend had a ton of partners - but what do I know? I've been married forever)



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She's gonna dream up a world she wants to live in / She's gonna dream out loud.
Visit my web page at www.u2page.com

martha 10-06-2001 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hitman:
Ahhh...the subject of sexual promiscuity.....

For women: Does the amount of girls a man has slept with sway you one way or the other? Would you object or be turned on to a number of women he has slept with?"

1. If he's sleeping with GIRLS, he should be arrested.
2. It depends on how many women he's slept with and for how long. If these have been serious relationships, and the number is reasonable (3-4), not that big of a deal. But, if he's a whore and sleeps around to prove what a stud he is, he can get the hell out of my life.
3. This has no bearing on my life right now. I've been married for a while and have no intention of unmarried.So I will shut up. https://forum.u2wdd.org/u2feedback/smile.gif

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...a highway with no one on it, a treasure just to look upon it...

"The skeletal structure of your foot is not normal." -- my podiatrist 8-6-01

bonovista 10-06-2001 09:19 PM

Let's say a person (man or woman) has had about 30 sex partners..Do you guys think this person can ever actually fall in love with anyone? What would you all worry about..besides if they have contracted a STD or HIV??

DoctorGonzo 10-06-2001 11:10 PM

Quote:

Let's say a person (man or woman) has had about 30 sex partners..Do you guys think this person can ever actually fall in love with anyone? What would you all worry about..besides if they have contracted a STD or HIV??
They obviously have a serious commitment problem. The root of this problem should be explored, if at all possible. It must be discovered and considered before any serious commitment is made to ensure that the other person in question doesn't end up as the space between partner number #30 and partner #32.

It is possible for this promiscuos person to fall in love, but their partner should take extreme care in developing any kind of long term relationship with them and have a clear idea of the issues the other person is facing before they go too far.

diamondbruno9 10-06-2001 11:19 PM

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm............
As long as she wasn't a Porn Star..jk

The past would be the past..I would thread cauiosly and optimisticly..
(maybe w/could compare notes?)

forgive my spelling

Diamond..

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"..it's about breaking barriers, transcending boundries and conquering great divides"-Bono 1987

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An open letter to Bono from myself www.arizonaautoweb.com/bono/



[This message has been edited by diamondbruno9 (edited 10-06-2001).]

A|catura 10-07-2001 03:15 AM

Practice makes perfect!


Oh! and..... If at first you don't succeed, try, try again! lol!

*ahem* ... sorry


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"I think every good Christian ought to kick Falwell's ass."

--Senator Barry Goldwater
, when asked what he thought of Jerry Falwell's suggestion that all good Christians should be against Sandra Day O'Connor's nomination to the Supreme Court

dream wanderer 10-07-2001 07:44 AM

Hitman admits he has a double standard...I wonder why this is true of so many men? Why do they have a problem with this?

Why should it matter? They admit its not a religious thing...is it a cultural thing?

dream wanderer

martha 10-07-2001 09:20 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by dream wanderer:
Hitman admits he has a double standard...I wonder why this is true of so many men? Why do they have a problem with this?

Why should it matter? They admit its not a religious thing...is it a cultural thing?

dream wanderer

It's a guy thing. And guys, don't get all bent out of shape. Some of you don't have the problem, but many of you do.

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...a highway with no one on it, a treasure just to look upon it...

"The skeletal structure of your foot is not normal." -- my podiatrist 8-6-01

Achtung_Bebe 10-07-2001 10:15 PM

If one girl was enough for a guy then this wouldn't be a problem. True of girls being satisfied with one guy, too. Why is it some people just can't be satisfied with one person? It must be the whole 'thrill' of variety, or something... And I'm not speaking of everyone in general, just a select amount.

I once heard it said (and please don't think strangely of me for quoting this) that it's a good thing guys have two nuts, 'cause one is never enough. https://forum.u2wdd.org/u2feedback/biggrin.gif

I have come across guys with high partner numbers, and I certainly don't look down on them as people, rather if I were to consider a relationship with them it would play a large factor in my decision. It would naturally lower your sense of trust and faith in the relationship working out. If someone has a very 'fickle' past with relathionships, flings, whatever--then it may be hard for this person to settle. But also I do believe in giving everyone a chance to redeem themselves. The past does not tell a tale. I just make sure a person has the right intentions, and if they tell you they have changed, make sure it's not just a line they're putting before you.



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Oh John, let's not park here.
Oh John, let's not park.
Oh John, let's not.
Oh John, let's.
Oh John.
Oh.

Angela Harlem 10-07-2001 10:31 PM

If a 20 year old guy had 10 partners previously, hes a hewhore. But if the guy was say 60, its suddenly not as strange.

I also dont agree that a guy that has had a lot of partners cant fall in love. Same with girls.

I also reckon ppl shouldnt sleep around, but if they, no biggie, Im not looking to hook up with no hewhore, so it makes no diff to me.

Im a Harem Girl by trade only. And only to Nic Cage and Elvis.

Diemen 10-08-2001 03:21 AM

I can understand the allure of having sex often. I mean, in all honesty, sex is extremely enjoyable!

However, I simply can't conceive of making love with someone I don't care deeply about. For me, the pleasure derived from it is secondary to the intense connection and intimacy with the other person. I really can't think of a way to be more intimate with someone than to make love to them. It's like saying "I love you so much that I give myself completely over to you - mind, heart, body."

So to answer the question, I would be a little worried if my girlfriend had a lot of past sexual partners, but the main thing that makes the difference is if those were from serious relationships or not. If it was sex just to get off, then I would need to have a good long talk.

LuvLady 10-08-2001 04:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Diemen:


However, I simply can't conceive of making love with someone I don't care deeply about. For me, the pleasure derived from it is secondary to the intense connection and intimacy with the other person. I really can't think of a way to be more intimate with someone than to make love to them. It's like saying "I love you so much that I give myself completely over to you - mind, heart, body."

Ah that was sweet Diemen. You've managed to restore my faith in the male species!! https://forum.u2wdd.org/u2feedback/smile.gif


Klodomir 10-08-2001 07:55 AM

10 previous sex partners is probably pretty average for a single woman around 30 years of age. But to be honest, I have never asked that question. By the time I get around to wanting to sleep with someone, I know them well enough to have a good idea of what their character is, so I never get any unpleasant surprises that way.

You can catch HIV/STD/VD from anyone - so if you're only worried about that when you have an "experienced" partner, you probably need to reevaluate the precautions you take.

BTW, I'm okay with sex before marriage. I've been told I'm not "marriage material", so I would be pretty sad by now if I had waited, LOL!

80sU2isBest 10-08-2001 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Klodomir:
10 previous sex partners is probably pretty average for a single woman around 30 years of age
Is this true? I hope not!


Klodomir 10-08-2001 10:30 AM

Oh, what do I know? I'm only guessing. I'm nowhere near there, but then again, I'm incredibly boring. https://forum.u2wdd.org/u2feedback/biggrin.gif

80sU2isBest 10-08-2001 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Klodomir:
Oh, what do I know? I'm only guessing. I'm nowhere near there, but then again, I'm incredibly boring. https://forum.u2wdd.org/u2feedback/biggrin.gif
Then there should be more "boring" people like you! :-)


Peaseblossom 10-08-2001 03:22 PM

This is a tough one... 10-13 partners is a lot. However, I think the more important question involves trust. If some of those relationships were one night stands, or incidents of infidelity, it's certainly much worse than if they were all monogamous.

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The lunatic, the lover, and the poet are of imagination all compact.
- MSND, Vi

Klodomir 10-09-2001 07:05 AM

I'm sorry if this sounds crude, but I don't think I'd marry anyone without a "test drive". Not that I think I'll ever get married.

Not George Lucas 10-09-2001 09:03 AM

I believe that love transcends sexual history. If you can't get over her past, you have no business marrying her. If you really love her, her past should make no difference.

What I find a little bothersome, though, is porn stars. It's not that I think they're evil or anything. I just can't seem to grasp how a porn star can have a decent sexual relationship with his/her spouse. You'd think they'd become desensitized to it all. I mean, look at Houston, the woman who had sex with 620 people in one day. That's a lotta lovin'. Granted, it's not an everyday thing for her, but you'd think after that, she'd get turned off of sex for a few years.

Of course, I'm probably just talking out my ass. I've never done porno, so I can't really speak with authority.

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<A HREF="https://"https://www.iusb.edu/~preimers/monkey.jpg"" TARGET=_blank>It's a monkey!</A>

DrTeeth 10-09-2001 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Klodomir:
Oh, what do I know? I'm only guessing. I'm nowhere near there, but then again, I'm incredibly boring. https://forum.u2wdd.org/u2feedback/biggrin.gif
Actually, most 30 year old women have only had 3 or 4 sexpartners but Klodomir by herself cranks the average up to 10. https://forum.u2wdd.org/u2feedback/wink.gif https://forum.u2wdd.org/u2feedback/biggrin.gif


Angela Harlem 10-09-2001 05:30 PM

Klod cant even remember them all, she never wrote their names down.

TylerDurden 10-09-2001 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Klodomir:
I'm sorry if this sounds crude, but I don't think I'd marry anyone without a "test drive". Not that I think I'll ever get married.
Handling..."Check"
Headroom..."Check"


Crzy4Bono 10-09-2001 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Klodomir:
10 previous sex partners is probably pretty average for a single woman around 30 years of age.

https://forum.u2wdd.org/u2feedback/eek.gif

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She's gonna dream up a world she wants to live in / She's gonna dream out loud.
Visit my web page at www.u2page.com

bonovista 10-09-2001 08:22 PM

What about for men though???
What's the average for a 30 year old??

What would be to many???


Diemen 10-09-2001 08:57 PM

I have no idea what the average is for a 30 year old guy, but I'm sure it's higher than it should be.

All I know is I hope to keep my number right where it is now, when I'm 30, and hopefully for the rest of my life: 1. https://forum.u2wdd.org/u2feedback/smile.gif

pub crawler 10-09-2001 11:53 PM

I don't understand this test drive stuff at all. If you're in love with someone, why the fuck would you need to test drive them? The sex is going to be good because you love them. Does anyone really believe the average person has great technique?

80sU2isBest 10-10-2001 12:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by pub crawler:
I don't understand this test drive stuff at all. If you're in love with someone, why the fuck would you need to test drive them? The sex is going to be good because you love them. Does anyone really believe the average person has great technique?
pub crawler, I agree.


pub crawler 10-10-2001 12:20 AM

*planet Earth explodes*

pub crawler 10-10-2001 12:22 AM

hee hee, just kidding. Peace, 80s.

Klodomir 10-10-2001 05:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by DrTeeth:
Actually, most 30 year old women have only had 3 or 4
Seriously? Does this count for all women or actually for single women who have never been married? If they have been sexually active for 10-15 years, that's either a few very serious relationships or some very long periods of abstinence.

DrTeeth and Angela Harlem, I'm going to get both of you for what you said, and not in a nice way! https://forum.u2wdd.org/u2feedback/mad.gif

Johnny Swallow 10-10-2001 08:12 AM

I don't really understand the concept of seeing if you're 'sexually compatable'. I mean I don't take a lamp home and plug it into my wall to see if it's 'compatable' before I buy it. If the sex is what makes or breaks the relationship, it wasn't going to last anyway.

And you're all whores!!!

Klodomir 10-10-2001 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Johnny Swallow:
I don't take a lamp home and plug it into my wall to see if it's 'compatable' before I buy it.
No, but most shops have a return policy, don't they, you garish pimp?


Johnny Swallow 10-10-2001 10:42 AM

Garish pimp??!?!

Thanks. https://forum.u2wdd.org/u2feedback/biggrin.gif

LarryMullen's POPAngel 10-10-2001 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Johnny Swallow:
Garish pimp??!?!

Thanks. https://forum.u2wdd.org/u2feedback/biggrin.gif

*raises hand*

I'd like to vote for a status change, please. *points at Johnny's name* https://forum.u2wdd.org/u2feedback/biggrin.gif

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The more you take the less you feel
The less you know the more you believe
The more you have the more it takes today


~*April*~
(AIM-POPLemonGirl)

*~The Official POP_Whore of Interference~*

Klodomir 10-11-2001 08:34 AM

I must admit I'm a wee bit proud of that word combination. I just looked it up on AltaVista, and it only came up with two hits. https://forum.u2wdd.org/u2feedback/biggrin.gif

bonofnattic 10-11-2001 10:12 PM

I had to weigh in on this one. https://forum.u2wdd.org/u2feedback/smile.gif

I was a bit of a late bloomer, myself, being from a "wait-til-you're-married" religious conviction. My first..um..."lover"....was also a lover to her ex-beau, plus a few others. This did a serious thing to my perception of women for awhile, but I think I've learned from it. I used to think this girl was an evil-tramp....now I just think of her as evil. (I won't try to explain haha)

Anyway, I don't think it would matter to me if the girl had slept with 10-15 guys, as long as she could love & respect me & be faithful, and provided she was disease-free. I would want no less from myself. People do grow-up & do change (so I've heard).

Heck, she might just be a heck of a lot of fun! Here's hoping I find Mrs. Right..... https://forum.u2wdd.org/u2feedback/smile.gif

Angela Harlem 10-12-2001 02:36 AM

[quote]Originally posted by Klodomir:
Quote:

DrTeeth and Angela Harlem, I'm going to get both of you for what you said, and not in a nice way! https://forum.u2wdd.org/u2feedback/mad.gif
Now now Klod, Im sure you gave them your number after all. They could call, maybe tomorrow though. Dont stress yet sweetie.

https://forum.u2wdd.org/u2feedback/smile.gif

EPandAmerica 10-12-2001 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Klodomir:
Quote:

Originally posted by DrTeeth:
Actually, most 30 year old women have only had 3 or 4
Seriously? Does this count for all women or actually for single women who have never been married? If they have been sexually active for 10-15 years, that's either a few very serious relationships or some very long periods of abstinence.

DrTeeth and Angela Harlem, I'm going to get both of you for what you said, and not in a nice way! https://forum.u2wdd.org/u2feedback/mad.gif

Yikes! I agree 3 or 4 is way low if you were single.
Sadly the scene in Four Weddings and a Funeral where she is counting ... mirrors my life https://forum.u2wdd.org/u2feedback/eek.gif
...but I blame that on finding the love of my life/soul mate/knew each other in a past life/partner when I was sixteen and lost him. https://forum.u2wdd.org/u2feedback/frown.gif I am 36 now so in 20 years, I've had fun but I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

u2zed 10-13-2001 06:22 PM

Re: The test drive theory... it makes sense... sex of course shouldn't be the center of a relationship but is really the main thing that separates a love relationship from a deep, loving friendship. I hope everyone takes a "test drive" so that you don't end up in the position I was in for many years of loving someone who was sexually incompatible (I don't mean in orientation but that he had a sex drive MUCH lower than mine, and I felt at turns unloved and ashamed of what I wanted)... trust me it's not a good way to live...

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you've got the right shoes to get you through the night

bonovista 10-13-2001 07:36 PM

Good point U2Zed..That would kill just about any marriage.

80sU2isBest 10-13-2001 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by u2zed:
Re: The test drive theory... it makes sense... sex of course shouldn't be the center of a relationship but is really the main thing that separates a love relationship from a deep, loving friendship. I hope everyone takes a "test drive" so that you don't end up in the position I was in for many years of loving someone who was sexually incompatible (I don't mean in orientation but that he had a sex drive MUCH lower than mine, and I felt at turns unloved and ashamed of what I wanted)... trust me it's not a good way to live...

Well, I sure hope no teenage girls are reading your post. They don't need any more encouragement than they already get from TV, movies, music, billboards and magazine to "take a test drive". Then they wind up pregnant, alone, confused, ashamed. Some of them feel the only thing thy can do is to get rid of the baby (either by killing it while still in the womb or giving it up for adoption). I feel sorry for teenaged girls these days. Heaven knows it's hard enough to be a teenager, but with all the media encouraging free sex, it makes their decisions even harder. Teenagers are impressionable, so people should be careful what they say.
And as for your situation of not getting enough sex, have you talked to your husband about it? Have you seen doctors, if he has problems? If he has no problems, just a lower sex drive, maybe you should just ask yourself what is more important - the love you feel for him or the sex you have? Does it kill you not to get enough sex? The world, contrary to popular opinion, does not revolve around sex. There are many many worse things in this life than not having sex, though you wouldn't know that from watching "Friends".


STING 10-15-2001 02:05 AM

Sorry, but I think the Test Drive theory is Bullshit. Some form of minimal physical attraction is required at the begining of course but after that its 99% about other things. It appears that some people on here think that getting married is more about sex exploration than anything else. That is absurd and certainly not what marriage is about. Many who think that it is end up divorced. I mean think about it. After 10 years of being with someone would you divorce that person if they developed a sexual problem or dysfunction? The fact is, Sex is not the reason a marriage will survive over a life time, the mystery of true love is!

u2zed 10-15-2001 06:41 PM

Marriage and love are not only about sex, true. But no matter what element of a relationship it is (friendship, trust, understanding, sex, etc.), if some part of a relationship breaks down entirely, it's hard to hold that relationship together. It's crass and completely thoughtless for anyone to assume that because sexual differences led to my breakup, that means sex is all I value.

Also, to 80'sU2isBest: Did I say anywhere that I thought children should have sex? It seemed to me we were all talking about adult relationships here. And, incidentally, why is it only teenage *girls* you're so concerned about? Shouldn't the boys be discouraged from having sex as well?

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you've got the right shoes to get you through the night

[This message has been edited by u2zed (edited 10-15-2001).]

80sU2isBest 10-15-2001 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by u2zed:
Also, to 80'sU2isBest: Did I say anywhere that I thought children should have sex? It seemed to me we were all talking about adult relationships here. And, incidentally, why is it only teenage *girls* you're so concerned about? Shouldn't the boys be discouraged from having sex as well?

Oh come on. You know as well as I do that teenagers emulate what they see adults doing. And when society says "it's okay to smoke...it's okay to drink" kids do it. And when society says "it's okay to have sex, as long as you use protection", that's condoning it, and kids think "hey adults do it all the time, they show it on TV, they encourage each other, so what can be wrong with it?" You can't just say "it's okay to take a test drive" and have kids not be affected by it. And no, I'm not just concerned about teenaged girls having sex. Obviously, if I don't think teenaged girls should have sex, it stands to reason I think teenaged boys shouldn't have sex. The reason I talked about girls is because they are the ones that more often pay the price. They get pregnant because they were taught by society that there's nothing wrong with teenaged sex.

doctorwho 10-16-2001 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DrTeeth:
Actually, most 30 year old women have only had 3 or 4 sexpartners but Klodomir by herself cranks the average up to 10. https://forum.u2wdd.org/u2feedback/wink.gif https://forum.u2wdd.org/u2feedback/biggrin.gif



That is, as Mr. Juan Swallow would say, an outstanding "guffaw!" Seriously, this is one of the cutest yet funniest things I've read on Interference! *applauds* https://forum.u2wdd.org/u2feedback/biggrin.gif

As for me...

If I was in my early 20's, I would have reacted the way many of you did (i.e., my partner MUST have be chaste! :mad https://forum.u2wdd.org/u2feedback/smile.gif, but now that I'm in my latter 30's, I fully expect any partner to have a decent amount of experience. Now, I may raise an eyebrow if the number hits 50 or more, but I doubt it will truly effect my views of that person.

I used to worry that if a person has been with numerous other people (putting STD's aside for the moment), then that's an indication that they are "seeking" something - something that most likely I (or anyone else) cannot provide (hence why there are so many partners). However, I now feel that this worry is silly. If I can't "satisfy" this person, then I won't be marrying this person, now will I? https://forum.u2wdd.org/u2feedback/wink.gif

In other words, I'm not as worried about the past as I am about the present and future. Past promiscuity is fine - however, current infidelity is not.

Peaseblossom 10-16-2001 05:08 PM

Not to be nosy, but have any of the people bashing the "test drive" theory ever been stuck in a relationship where the sex was bad? Or in one where your higher sex drive left you feeling bad about yourself (I've been there too)? It's a pretty terrible situation to get yourself into, and it really can drag a relationship down. Not so much the sex, but the feelings that result from not being fulfilled.


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