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trojanchick99 09-29-2010 06:00 PM

College freshman commits suicide after sex tape posted on internet by roommate
 
Rutgers freshman is presumed dead in suicide after roommate broadcast gay sexual encounter online

PISCATAWAY — A Rutgers University freshman appears to have killed himself by jumping off the George Washington Bridge after his roommate broadcast live images of the 18-year-old having a sexual encounter with another man on the internet, according to campus and law enforcement sources.

Tyler Clementi, 18, of Ridgewood, is presumed dead after his car, cell phone and computer were found near the George Washington Bridge last week, law enforcement sources said. His wallet was found on the walkway adjacent to the New York-bound lanes. In a statement released this afternoon, Clementi’s family confirmed the suicide and said his body has not been found.

Dharun Ravi, 18, of Plainsboro, and Molly Wei, 18, of Princeton, were charged with two counts each of invasion of privacy for setting up a camera in a dorm room on Sept. 19 and using it to view and transmit a live sex scene, said Middlesex County Prosecutor Bruce Kaplan.

Paul Mainardi of Woodbury, the Clementi family's attorney, said Ravi and Clementi were roommates at Rutgers.

Ravi's Twitter feed on that date referred to seeing his roommate have sex with another man in their room on the Piscataway campus, classmates said.

"Roommate asked for the room till midnight. I went into molly's room and turned on my webcam. I saw him making out with a dude. Yay," Ravi said on his Twitter page in a Sept. 19 entry posted at 6:17 p.m.

Two days later, Ravi posted another entry directing his nearly 150 Twitter followers to iChat, an internet messaging service with a live video feed.

"Anyone with iChat, I dare you to video chat me between the hours of 9:30 and 12. Yes it's happening again," Ravi wrote in the Sept. 21 post.

Ravi's Twitter feed has since been taken down. But the entries survived in a cached version of the page still available through Google's search engine this afternoon.
Yearbook photos
Dharun Ravi and Molly Wei, both Rutgers students, are charged in connection with broadcasting a sexual encounter involving Ravi's roommate Tyler Clementi.

Prosecutors said Ravi and Wei set up a camera on Sept. 19 and broadcast live images of Clementi having a "sexual encounter." Ravi is also accused of trying unsuccessfully to broadcast a second sex scene Sept. 21.

The Clementi family released a statement this afternoon. "Tyler was a fine young man, and a distinguished musician. The family is heartbroken beyond words. They respectfully request that they be given time to grieve their great loss and that their privacy at this painful time be respected by all," it said.

"The family and their representatives are cooperating fully with the ongoing criminal investigations of two Rutgers University students," the statement said.

Clementi was an accomplished violinist who had received a college scholarship from the Ridgewood Symphony Orchestra for his musicianship and leadership.

The violinist left a lasting impression with some in the Bergen County town, said Hiro Kagei, 17, who played in the orchestra with the teenager. A solo Clementi played in a concert last year "blew the audience away," he said.

"Now that he’ dead, it’s sad to think we won’t hear something like that anymore," Kagei said.

On the Rutgers campus, classmates described Clementi as quiet. At a mandatory dorm meeting called the day he was reported missing, only three students said they had spoken to Clementi since they moved into the dorm last month, according to students who were at the meeting.

Ravi and Wei — who were classmates at West Windsor-Plainsboro High School North before enrolling at Rutgers this fall — did not respond to e-mail requests to comment Tuesday. Steve Altman, Ravi’s attorney, also declined to comment.

Ravi surrendered to Rutgers police Tuesday and was released on $25,000 bail, the prosecutor’s office said. Wei surrendered to the campus police Monday and was released on her own recognizance.

Under New Jersey’s invasion-of-privacy laws, it is a fourth degree crime to collect or view images depicting nudity or sexual contact involving another individual without that person’s consent, the prosecutor said. It is a third degree crime to transmit or distribute the images.

If the students are convicted on a third degree offense they could face up to five years in prison each under state law. Conviction on a fourth-degree crime could lead to probation or up to 18 months in prison.

Reading this made me ill. What kind of person thinks that this is funny? I hope they can charge them with more than what they have.

Moonlit_Angel 09-29-2010 06:31 PM

Sounds like this Ravi kid needs to desperately find something else to do with his time. Good god-not everything needs to be open game for the internet. Especially pathetic given that he and his friend had no consent from Tyler himself. I should think that fact will close up this case pretty darn quick. Idiots, the both of them, here's hoping they get the proper punishment they deserve for their stupidity.

As for this Tyler kid, how tragic :(. My condolances to his family and friends-as difficult as it would be to find his body, it would help with the closure and allow them to give him a proper burial and such.

Angela

deep 09-29-2010 06:49 PM

it is an absolute fact
the social network will fuck you over every time

https://i.cdn.turner.com/dr/teg/tsg/r...avitwitter.jpg

Pearl 09-29-2010 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deep (Post 6970101)
it is an absolute fact
the social network will fuck you over every time

Anyone who abuses social networking will get fucked over. You just have to smart about what you expose to the world.

As for the kid who committed suicide, I feel really sorry for him. How humiliating to have someone hurt you like that in front of the whole world.

deep 09-29-2010 07:09 PM

The social network is an absolute net negative.

AliEnvy 09-29-2010 07:16 PM

^ Old fart. :cute:

Being watched all the time will make people behave.

In this case though, stealing someone's privacy should end in the maximum sentence.

Don't be evil.

financeguy 09-29-2010 07:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deep (Post 6970130)
The social network is an absolute net negative.

Subjectively, I'm inclined to agree, but can it be proven?

Canadiens1131 09-29-2010 07:19 PM

You know, humiliation in social circles is nothing new, and although I feel horrible for the kid's family, at the same time I have no sympathy for someone who kills himself, no matter how bad it is.

The thing that really grabs me about this story, though, is how Dharun is dumb enough to be posting stuff like that on Twitter, a social networking/informative service with absolutely NO preconception of privacy. This is beyond posting it on Facebook between a large group of friends. Completely baffling, even if he didn't know the extent his actions would affect the kid who offed himself.

Even the fact that, I, as a Facebook user, could probably look up the offenders' profiles and send them personal attack mail directly is just as scary.

Shit is fucked up. If I had any say in how childrens' education worked, EVERY kid should be receiving an Internet Safety and Ethics course at the same age they are receiving primary school sex ed. You have kids barely age 10 posting incredibly personal information online because that's the world they are growing up in.

I'm never having fucking kids.

deep 09-29-2010 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AliEnvy (Post 6970141)
^ Old fart. :cute:

Being watched all the time will make people behave.

In this case though, stealing someone's privacy should end in the maximum sentence.

Don't be evil.

guilty
but I am immature in so many ways, too.

seriously, I read everyday where people get fired for something they FBed or tweated, Also, we had a case locally where some guy friended his neighbor,
came over one night and murdered the guy, then got the guy's phone and tweeted his girlfriend over, raped and murdered her, dismembered the bodies and scattered them around a park. Then he went to his bachelor party and planned to get married the next day. Cops got him at his party.

Canadiens1131 09-29-2010 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deep (Post 6970150)
Also, we had a case locally where some guy friended his neighbor,
came over one night and murdered the guy, then got the guy's phone and tweeted his girlfriend over, raped and murdered her, dismembered the bodies and scattered them around a park. Then he went to his bachelor party and planned to get married the next day. Cops got him at his party.

That is equal parts absolutely horrible and an excellent treatment for a slasher flick tuned for the modern audience.

AliEnvy 09-29-2010 07:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Canadiens1131 (Post 6970148)
EVERY kid should be receiving an Internet Safety and Ethics course at the same age they are receiving primary school sex ed.

:up:

And like sex ed, parents shouldn't wait for the lame ass education system to catch up.

A stor 09-29-2010 08:43 PM

Good lord, what ever happened to respecting one's privacy?

How can you be someone's friend or room mate and do this to them?

Maybe, my generation was much more tolerate of Gay and Lesbian folks. I couldn't imagine doing this to anyone. Let alone a friend.

Jive Turkey 09-30-2010 12:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A stor (Post 6970256)

Maybe, my generation was much more tolerate of Gay and Lesbian folks.

Unless you own a time machine, that's probably a bit of a stretch :wink:

I'd say this generation is more tolerant of homosexuality than any (modern) generation and that's awesome. But there will always been the ignorant pricks, no matter what the generation

nathan1977 09-30-2010 01:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A stor (Post 6970256)
Good lord, what ever happened to respecting one's privacy?

How can you be someone's friend or room mate and do this to them?

This.

What did this guy honestly think would happen? Or did he really just not give a rip? (From his Twitter posts, I'm guessing not.)

Jive Turkey 09-30-2010 01:44 AM

You sometimes get placed with a roommate. Since school has been in for less than a month, there's a good chance they hardly knew each other.

A stor 09-30-2010 07:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jive Turkey (Post 6970421)
Unless you own a time machine, that's probably a bit of a stretch :wink:

I'd say this generation is more tolerant of homosexuality than any (modern) generation and that's awesome. But there will always been the ignorant pricks, no matter what the generation


No, I don't and you are probably right. Even in this age of technology, I still wouldn't have done it. Envading one's privacy is bad enough, but exposing it on the web. Is excusable.

MrsSpringsteen 09-30-2010 08:41 AM

Makes me absolutely ill too-complete lack of caring for the feelings and rights of another human being. All of these social networks are just a new avenue for it. I have no interest in any of it and stories like this just reaffirm that. I think it detaches and dehumanizes, and brings out those types of qualities in people who would have them regardless-in a way it emboldens them.

Don't know how they're going to live with that for the rest of their lives

BVS 09-30-2010 08:59 AM

Bullying isn't just for high school and college anymore:

Assistant attorney general blogs against gay student body president - CNN

Quote:

For nearly six months, Andrew Shirvell, an assistant attorney general for the state of Michigan, has waged an internet campaign against college student Chris Armstrong, the openly gay student assembly president at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor.


Quote:

Among other things, Shirvell has published blog posts that accuse Armstrong of going back on a campaign promise he made to minority students; engaging in "flagrant sexual promiscuity" with another male member of the student government; sexually seducing and influencing "a previously conservative [male] student" so much so that the student, according to Shirvell, "morphed into a proponent of the radical homosexual agenda;" hosting a gay orgy in his dorm room in October 2009; and trying to recruit incoming first year students "to join the homosexual 'lifestyle.' "

joerags 09-30-2010 09:18 AM

This story really, really bothers me.
I am just stunned about this. My heart goes out to this boy's family.
Suicide is the most heartbreaking thing, especially for a boy as young as 18.
This boy did nothing wrong, and now his life is over, because of two fucking assholes who should be put away for a long time, if not forevever.

I'm sorry for sounding upset, but this really bothers me. I feel so sad that he had to kill himself because of two immature people who have no sense of morals or decency. The two assholes wanted to get their kicks, and now a boy is dead, because he was probably ashamed. My God, I am just so livid about this. I wish I could have been there to help that boy and convince him that taking your own life, simply because you were embarrassed, is not the answer.

This is one of the most upsetting stories I have ever heard in my life. And sadly, this is not the first time young people have killed themselves because of bullying.

Irvine511 09-30-2010 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Canadiens1131 (Post 6970148)
You know, humiliation in social circles is nothing new, and although I feel horrible for the kid's family, at the same time I have no sympathy for someone who kills himself, no matter how bad it is.



considering gay kids are 4x more likely to commit suicide than straight kids, and 9 out of 10 gay kids report being harassed, you don't think a modicum of sympathy is in order here?

homophobia continues to kill.

MrsSpringsteen 09-30-2010 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irvine511 (Post 6970720)
considering gay kids are 4x more likely to commit suicide than straight kids, and 9 out of 10 gay kids report being harassed, you don't think a modicum of sympathy is in order here?

homophobia continues to kill.

Absolutely. That aspect of this tragedy is even more important than the social media aspect. Would this have even happened if he had been in bed with a woman?

Liesje 09-30-2010 10:39 AM

^ That's what I was thinking/wondering. Did he kill himself because of the sex tape, or because his sexual partner was a man?

MrsSpringsteen 09-30-2010 10:42 AM

I just meant would they have even posted and used a camera? He posted "I saw him making out with a dude. Yay" So that would be the homophobia aspect.

MrsSpringsteen 09-30-2010 10:46 AM

https://i.huffpost.com/gen/205431/thu...HOTO-large.jpg

From an AP article

ABC News and The Star-Ledger of Newark reported that Clementi left on his Facebook page on Sept. 22 a note that read: "Jumping off the gw bridge sorry." On Wednesday, his Facebook page was accessible only to friends.

Even if the young violinist from Ridgewood was not well known at his new school, his death stirred outrage.

"The notion that video of Tyler doing what he was doing can be considered a spectacle is just heinous," said Jordan Gochman, 19, of Jackson, who didn't know Clementi. "It's intolerant, it's upsetting, it makes it seem that being gay is something that is wrong and can be considered laughable."

Other students who did know Clementi were upset that they didn't do more to help him. "I wish I could have been more of an ally," said Georges Richa, a freshman from New Brunswick.

About 100 people gathered Wednesday night for a vigil on campus. They lay on the ground and chanted slogans like, "We're here, we're queer, we're not going home."

Several gay rights groups linked Clementi's death to the troubling phenomenon of young people committing suicide after being harassed over their sexuality.

On Tuesday, a 13-year-old California boy died nine days after classmates found him hanging from a tree. Authorities say other teens had taunted the boy, Seth Walsh of Tehachapi, for being gay.

Steven Goldstein, chairman of Garden State Equality, said in a statement that his group considers Clementi's death a hate crime.

"We are heartbroken over the tragic loss of a young man who, by all accounts, was brilliant, talented and kind," Goldstein said. "And we are sickened that anyone in our society, such as the students allegedly responsible for making the surreptitious video, might consider destroying others' lives as a sport."

Last week, Dan Savage, a columnist at the Seattle weekly newspaper The Stranger, launched the latest of several efforts to try to stem the problem: the It Gets Better Project, a YouTube channel where gay, lesbian and bisexual adults share the turmoil they experienced when they were younger - and that their lives are better now.

In response to Clementi's death and other incidents, the group Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays said it would issue a "call to action" on the subject on Thursday.

Liesje 09-30-2010 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsSpringsteen (Post 6970748)
I just meant would they have even posted and used a camera? He posted "I saw him making out with a dude. Yay" So that would be the homophobia aspect.

True...or maybe they would have filmed it but then laughed about it (in which case the girl would probably be the damaged on.....)

A stor 09-30-2010 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irvine511 (Post 6970720)
considering gay kids are 4x more likely to commit suicide than straight kids, and 9 out of 10 gay kids report being harassed, you don't think a modicum of sympathy is in order here?

homophobia continues to kill.


Sadly that is very true, Irvine.

Both of my grown kids who happen to be heterosexual were never allowed to make fun of other children while growing up. My husband and I would not have tolerated "bullying". Words are just as hurtful as actions. Neither our daughter or son were bullies. Making both of them quite popular when they were at school. They were taught to be respectful and accepting of all others. Nasty words were never used in our home. A good friend of my son and his wife, is a lesbian. They love her and couldn't care less about her sexual orientation.

I think it is horrible what was done to this young man. To video tape and show on the web. What are private moments? It should be illegal. I doubt if the young man gave his consent. It's no joke when actions, words deeply hurt another. Would anyone of us want to be made fun of. For simply being who were are? I wouldn't.

P.S. In my above post. I meant to say "inexcusible." It was a typing mistake on my part.

A stor 09-30-2010 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsSpringsteen (Post 6970632)
Makes me absolutely ill too-complete lack of caring for the feelings and rights of another human being. All of these social networks are just a new avenue for it. I have no interest in any of it and stories like this just reaffirm that. I think it detaches and dehumanizes, and brings out those types of qualities in people who would have them regardless-in a way it emboldens them.

Don't know how they're going to live with that for the rest of their lives


I agree 100%. Where is respect and compassion for another human being? And I agree with Joerags. These cruel actions make me very sick to my stomach.

I am in my fifties and was never a bully. I still run into people from my school days. They always say hello and how are you. Even people I didn't know too well. Will speak to me and say it is good to see you again.

Something to think about for the young folks. Do you want people to remember you as being a nice person or someone who was a complete jerk? The choice is yours.

Irvine511 09-30-2010 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Liesje (Post 6970746)
^ That's what I was thinking/wondering. Did he kill himself because of the sex tape, or because his sexual partner was a man?



no one will really know, but probably because he was outed long before he was officially ready, and then to have that broadcast -- it's an unimaginable double-whammy of humiliation.

also, i wish that Michigan assistant AG would just admit his gigantic crush on the school president.

AliEnvy 09-30-2010 11:38 AM

My hope is that while we're rethinking privacy due to social media, the exposure of cruelty will be so harshly criticized and punished, publically, that it will therefore perhaps, be diminished. Being an asshole will now stick to you for the rest of your life.

A new scarlet letter "A".

MrsSpringsteen 09-30-2010 11:47 AM

Yes I'm sure he was just using it for room security. Why not just talk to your roommate if you have any concerns about strangers being in your room? The posts don't exactly fit that scenario anyway. The snarky "gotcha" sneaky tone is fairly evident.


" + artTitle.replace("-","") + " - " + "Daily Targum" + " - " + "News" + "

Although Vice President for Student Affairs Gregory S. Blimling refused to confirm or deny reports about the case or the students involved, he said there are consequences for such behavior at the University.

"The [University] Code of Student Conduct has an element that says that students may not do unauthorized videotaping or recording of other students," he said. "So that would violate the Code of Student Conduct."

The University's Code of Student Conduct outlines penalties ranging from reprimanding students to permanent expulsion, Blimling said.

Depending on the circumstances, the administrative hearing officer and Office of Student Conduct may determine the punishment, or a student can opt to have a hearing before a committee that will make a recommendation as to how the University should respond, he said.

"Our goal in dealing with any student who is involved in dealing with any kind of issue of student conduct is an educational goal, is to help them understand how their behavior would have affected other people and get them to change that behavior and learn from other people," Blimling said.

But Blimling said no one should draw conclusions from hearsay.

"So often when reports of any kind surface, that information that comes out initially is misconstrued by the media," he said. "So I would not believe everything that the media has currently published."

Some residents of Davidson Hall, who wished to remain anonymous but are close to Ravi, agree with Blimling's idea. They say the media has distorted the story.

"No one knows [what really happened,]" one student said.

Neighbors in Davidson Hall said Ravi is a friendly, funny young man with a good heart, who would not purposefully hurt anyone.

"He's a good guy who made a poor decision," one student said.

Students said Clementi asked his roommate Ravi to leave the room so that he could have time alone with a guest on the evening of Sept. 19.

A strange, older male later arrived at the room, they said. Ravi went to Wei's room, where he used a computer to access footage of the room from his webcam, they said.

Ravi had no intention of witnessing any kind of intimate encounter between the two, but rather wanted to see if anything unusual was taking place inside his room, as he was not familiar with Clementi's guest, they said.

"He just wanted to see what was going on," a student said.

Upon seeing what was taking place inside the room, Ravi immediately closed the window on the screen, the student said.

A similar series of events took place on the evening of Sept. 21, and Ravi then stayed in another friend's room for the night, a student said.

No footage of either encounter was recorded or broadcast, students said.

"[Ravi] had no intention to violate Tyler in any way," a student said.

MrsSpringsteen 09-30-2010 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AliEnvy (Post 6970828)
My hope is that while we're rethinking privacy due to social media, the exposure of cruelty will be so harshly criticized and punished, publically, that it will therefore perhaps, be diminished. Being an asshole will now stick to you for the rest of your life.

A new scarlet letter "A".

I don't think people who are that much of an asshole even care about that. If they thought about the consequences why would they even do it in the first place?

AliEnvy 09-30-2010 11:56 AM

This may not be a great analogy but think about drunk driving and consequences and how it has changed over time. Through social stigma as much as legal consequences really, you know, as opposed to the potential that someone may die.

In the last article you posted, someone said he's a good guy who made a bad decision. That gets said quite often about drunk drivers who kill people.

Liesje 09-30-2010 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AliEnvy (Post 6970851)
In the last article you posted, someone said he's a good guy who made a bad decision. That gets said quite often about drunk drivers who kill people.

I guess that one doesn't quite work with me since I have zero tolerance for drunk driving.

VintagePunk 09-30-2010 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AliEnvy (Post 6970851)
This may not be a great analogy but think about drunk driving and consequences and how it has changed over time. Through social stigma as much as legal consequences really, you know, as opposed to the potential that someone may die.

In the last article you posted, someone said he's a good guy who made a bad decision. That gets said quite often about drunk drivers who kill people.

I know what you're getting at, but your post made me think of this. Not to defend drunk driving in any way, but often they do get home unscathed, and no one else is harmed along the way.

On the other hand, assuming that the young man actually did put the video on the internet, and I've seen no reason not to assume that, his actions were done expressly to hurt and embarrass. Right from the beginning, there was no potential for a positive or neutral outcome, and what his friends are saying now smacks of excusing someone who did a reprehensible thing. He didn't mean to violate him? Bullshit. This story sickens me, and it's about time one of these extreme internet bullies were made an example of.

MrsSpringsteen 09-30-2010 12:31 PM

The drunk driving laws have caught up to the problem (still not enough) just like the texting and cell phone while driving laws are starting to. The laws about bullying and cyber bullying haven't. Look what happened to that 40+ year old woman woman who pretended to be a teenage boy and cyber bullied that young girl on MySpace, the girl then killed herself-the only law they could use gave her basically a slap on the wrist. She still has to live with the guilt of course, assuming she has any or some.

Until there are some laws passed with serious consequences this will continue. Of course even with laws there will still be problems-you can't outlaw sociopathy or psychopathy.

I think it's completely pathetic that a college student would so anything like this-I guess they can't leave HS behind. Some adults can't either, especially when they have the internet to hide behind.

AliEnvy 09-30-2010 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Liesje (Post 6970881)
I guess that one doesn't quite work with me since I have zero tolerance for drunk driving.

I have zero tolerance for assholes so perhaps we're on the same page.

BoMac 09-30-2010 01:35 PM

Is This Webcam Spying Victim Tyler Clementi's Last Call for Help?

MrsSpringsteen 09-30-2010 01:46 PM

Nice comment. Yeah what's wrong with some good old fashioned lulz? No one cares, that's why there are no instances of beatings or killings of gay people just because they're gay. Toughen up guys. If you don't expect someone to commit suicide it's ok to do things like that. Screw human decency.

"If he really offed himself, that sucks.

That being said, I get doing stuff for the lulz - people need to toughen up. I don't see why the tag is "Cyberbullying", this kid was old enough to join the armed forces - and no one cares if people are gay anymore, especially at college.

Trying to blame people because someone ELSE went to an unnecessary extreme is morally vacuous. He didn't expect him to react like he did, and if he had known it, would likely not have done it.

We can't bubble wrap the world and stop living life just because some small fraction of the 6+ billion people on earth are going to make rash decisions. We have to keep evolving, and do the best we can, and try and get in a few laughs."


I agree with the comments about Gawker posting the picture and the info about the site he voluntarily participated on. I didn't even want to read the forum posts that might have been his, it just felt wrong considering :(

Moonlit_Angel 09-30-2010 03:11 PM

Quote:

and no one cares if people are gay anymore
Wow, that's news to me. Certainly, homosexuality is becoming less and less of an issue, especially among younger generations, yes, and hooray for that, but unfortunately, there's still enough people out there yet who DO care. Like that pathetic excuse for an attorney general, for instance-it's really nice to know that Michigan's other problems have been taken care of, then, if he's able to devote his free time to picking on a college student. Moron. And then of course that mention of the 13 year old who committed suicide-13 years old. Seriously, what the fuck? How did we get to this type of insanity?

While I do agree that unfortunately, mean people are going to exist in this world and people sadly aren't always going to be able to shelter themselves from cruel words and such and will have to learn how to properly handle such situations, at the same time, that still doesn't excuse the horrific behavior of some people. If you say or do something cruel, expect that there will be consequences for your actions. There is absolutely no justifiable reason to treat people who've done nothing to you like dirt. There is absolutely no reason to make other people's lives miserable just for the hell of it. And of course there's the old "Well, they had a crappy life" argument, too, that gets used regarding bullies sometimes-yeah, my life ain't exactly coming up roses, either, but I don't go around hurting other people because of it. Grow up and act like a mature, intelligent, adult human being. It's not that hard to do.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsSpringsteen (Post 6970632)
I think it detaches and dehumanizes, and brings out those types of qualities in people who would have them regardless-in a way it emboldens them.

I think you're fully correct about this. It's amazing the changes people can make to themselves online, they can freakin' create an entire alternate universe.

Ultimately, again, proper social behavior lessons start at home. But if the parents have failed in teaching those lessons and the kids go on to grow up and be bullies, what is the best way to solve the problem/punish them in order to get the message across that we don't stand for this crap?

Angela

Canadiens1131 09-30-2010 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irvine511 (Post 6970720)
considering gay kids are 4x more likely to commit suicide than straight kids, and 9 out of 10 gay kids report being harassed, you don't think a modicum of sympathy is in order here?

homophobia continues to kill.

Those statistics are really depressing :(

Jive Turkey 09-30-2010 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsSpringsteen (Post 6970632)
Makes me absolutely ill too-complete lack of caring for the feelings and rights of another human being. All of these social networks are just a new avenue for it. I have no interest in any of it and stories like this just reaffirm that. I think it detaches and dehumanizes, and brings out those types of qualities in people who would have them regardless-in a way it emboldens them.

Don't know how they're going to live with that for the rest of their lives

You need only look as far as the behavior of drivers to one another to see what happens when people interact in a slightly isolated environment.

Pearl 09-30-2010 05:38 PM

Quote:

As a society, we don’t stand for this nonsense when bullying is a race issue. Communities reach near-riot levels when a black kid is attacked by a white kid and vice versa.

We certainly wouldn’t let our kids lash out against kids with disabilities, either. How many parents do you know who take it lightly when their children make fun of people in wheelchairs or with Down syndrome? None.

So why, when the kid is gay, do we rationalize the violent behavior of the aggressor? And that’s giving the benefit of the doubt that it ever reaches the point where rationalization occurs. Most of the time, as we’ve heard in these recent suicide cases, the grown-ups involved all but closed their eyes and ears and turned their backs to the situations. Some role models, huh?

Yes, gay kids are different. It’s true, too, that most people don’t understand those differences. Still, that’s no reason to lack compassion and concern where they're involved.

Gay kids deserve to be protected from danger like any other kid. Why? Because in most respects they’re just like any other kid. They have hopes. They have dreams. They want to graduate high school and become somebody.

If only they could get there.

It’s time to wake up, America. Your kids are hurting. Your kids are crying. Your kids are dying.

And it’s all your fault.

Gay bullying is taking the lives of our children – and you’re to blame - CNN iReport

Great article that I recommend.

Pearl 09-30-2010 05:48 PM

Quote:

If you don't support the statement rapper 50 Cent is making on his (very adult) Twitter feed (even if the "LOL" is meant to convey some kind of implied sarcasm), then you should not support his music, movies or brands.
Celebrities have platforms and can make a difference. By posting this to his 3.3 million-plus followers, he's not using that platform for good.

The Scoop - Is 50 Cent taking anti-gay stance on Twitter?

:tsk:

financeguy 09-30-2010 05:52 PM

I do think it is more about homophobia than online privacy. I just think it's much less likely he would have topped himself if it was a straight thing.

GirlsAloudFan 09-30-2010 06:03 PM

This story is awful. Social networking, which can be a very positive thing, used by this Dharun kid in a terribly negative way.

And there's something really chilling about a kid writing his suicide note on Facebook. Fuck. 20th Century, go to sleep.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BoMac (Post 6970993)

This is really strange. Did anyone else read this?

If this actually is Clementi making these posts, man, that really doesn't read like the words or thoughts of someone about to take his own life.

We all post on a message board, obviously, so we all know that the tone of our posts doesn't necessarily come anywhere close to what we're actually feeling, can be misconstrued, etc.

But, still. I can't help thinking that something else had to have happened after these posts were made, and before he jumped off the bridge.

corianderstem 09-30-2010 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pearl (Post 6971980)

He's said all sorts of appalling shit on his Twitter.

The man is a hateful cretin.

AiRMaRcI9o0 09-30-2010 10:07 PM

I'm a student at the Rutgers-New Brunswick/Piscataway campus. I can tell you that the entire student body is in shock about what happened and completely appalled by the two perpetrators' actions.

Liesje 10-01-2010 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by financeguy (Post 6971983)
I do think it is more about homophobia than online privacy. I just think it's much less likely he would have topped himself if it was a straight thing.

No, it would be the girl....

Jive Turkey 10-01-2010 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pearl (Post 6971980)

No doubt that is an idiotic thing for a grown man to write, but is it really homophobic? He didn't specifically mention anything about gays. I suppose you could read into it and say it is, but I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he's just a fucking moron and not a fucking homophobic moron

deep 10-01-2010 03:31 PM

Quote:

he died of drowning and blunt impact injury to the torso, said Ellen Borakove, spokeswoman for the New York City Office of the Chief Medical Examiner
not a painless death

not a painless life


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