U2 Feedback

U2 Feedback (https://www.u2interference.com/forums/)
-   Lemonade Stand Archive (https://www.u2interference.com/forums/f287/)
-   -   Holiday cheer!! (https://www.u2interference.com/forums/f287/holiday-cheer-182475.html)

Carek1230 12-12-2007 09:18 PM

Holiday cheer!!
 
C'mon! We can all use a few good laughs this time of year! Don't be so serious. Share your funny holiday jokes, riddles, photos, stories, comics here!


https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...stycartoon.gif

JCOSTER 12-12-2007 09:19 PM

:lmao: I like!

Doozer61 12-13-2007 10:40 AM

:giggle:

JanuaryStar 12-13-2007 10:43 AM

Good one, Carek :lol:

iloveedge 12-13-2007 03:11 PM

:lmao:

BonosBaby12 12-13-2007 03:16 PM

:lol: love it Carek!

Here are some that got sent to me the other day:

https://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b1...Santahumor.jpg

https://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b1...owmanhumor.jpg

BonosBaby12 12-13-2007 03:20 PM

This is my favorite one :lmao:

https://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b1.../Snowbunny.jpg

waynetravis 12-13-2007 03:22 PM

oh my... :lmao:

europop2005 12-13-2007 03:23 PM

https://buzznet-91.vo.llnwd.net/asset...9746953476.jpg

https://buzznet-35.vo.llnwd.net/asset...9742699832.jpg

https://buzznet-08.vo.llnwd.net/asset...9742687981.jpg

BonoFox1 12-14-2007 01:05 AM

12 Days of Christmas - A Cat's Rendition

On the twelfth day of Christmas my human gave to me:
Twelve bags of catnip!
Eleven tarter Pounce treats,
Ten ornaments hanging,
Nine wads of Kleenex,
Eight peacock feathers,
Seven stolen Q-tips,
Six feathered balls,
Five MILK JUG RINGS!
Four munchy house plants,
Three running faucets,
Two fuzzy mousies,
And a hamste-e-er in a plastic ball!!
https://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c2...tring_2002.gif

BonoFox1 12-14-2007 01:08 AM

HAVE A MICROSOFT CHRISTMAS
(by Chet Raymo)
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, except father's mouse.
The computer was humming, the icons were hopping,
As father did last-minute Internet shopping.

The stockings were hung next the modem with care
In the hope that Santa would bring new software.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
With visions of computer games filling their heads.

Dark Forces for Billy, Doom II is for Dan,
Carmen Sandiego for Pamela Ann.
The letters to Santa had been sent out by mom,
To santa@toyshop.northpole.com -

Which now had been re-routed to Washington State
Where Santa's workshop had been moved by Bill Gates.
All the elves and the reindeer had had to skedaddle
To flashy new quarters in suburban Seattle.

After living a life that was simple and spare,
Santa now finds that he's a new billionaire,
With a shiny red Porsche in place of his sleigh,
And a house on Lake Washington just down the way
From where Bill has his mansion, and the old fellow preens
In black Gucci boots and red Calvin Klein jeans.
The elves have stock options and desks with a view,
Where they write computer code for Johnny and Sue.

No more dolls or tin soldiers or little toy drums
Will be under the tree, only compact disk roms
With the Microsoft label. So spin up your drive,
From now on Christmas runs only on Win95.

More rapid than eagles the competitors came,
And Bill whistled, and shouted, and called them by name.
"Now, ADOBE! now, CLARIS! now, INTUIT! too,
Now, APPLE! and NETSCAPE! you're all of you through,

It's Microsoft's SANTA that the kids can't resist,
It's the ultimate software with a traditional twist -
Recommended by no less than the jolly old elf,
And on the package, a picture of Santa himself.

Get 'em young, keep 'em long, is Microsoft's theme,
And a merger with Santa is a marketer's dream.
To the top of the NASDAQ! To the top of the Dow!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away - wow!"

And mum in her 'kerchief and me in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

The whir and the hum of our satellite platter,
As it turned toward that new Christmas star in the sky,
The SANTALITE owned by the Microsoft guy.
As I sprang from my bed and was turning around,
My computer turned on with a Jingle-Bells sound.

And there on the screen was a smiling Bill Gates
Next to jolly old Santa, two arm-in-arm mates.
And I heard them exclaim in voices so bright,
HAVE A MICROSOFT CHRISTMAS,
and TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.
https://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u...69-8F56C08.gif

BonoFox1 12-14-2007 01:15 AM

Cats' Favorite Christmas Carols


10. Up on the Mousetop
9. Have Yourself a Furry Little Christmas
8. Joy to the Curled
7. I Saw Mommy Hiss at Santa Claus
6. The First Meow
5. Oh, Come All Ye Fishful
4. Silent Mice
3. Fluffy, the Snowman
2. Jingle Balls
1. Wreck the Halls!



https://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s...tsy94/xmas.jpg

BonoFox1 12-14-2007 01:20 AM

What happened when the snowgirl fell out with the snowboy ?
She gave him the cold shoulder !


What do snowmen wear on their heads ?
Ice caps !


What do snowmen eat for lunch ?
Icebergers !


Where do snowmen go to dance ?
Snowballs !


How do snowmen travel around ?
By iceicle !


What sort of ball doesn't bounce ?
A snowball !


How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed ?
You wake up wet !


What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark ?
Frost bite !


How do you call an Eskimo cow ?
An Eskimoo !


https://i149.photobucket.com/albums/s...1499539198.jpg

BonoFox1 12-14-2007 01:21 AM

https://i105.photobucket.com/albums/m...2/6a8bce4f.gif

BonoFox1 12-14-2007 01:22 AM

https://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c3...l/4ebd182d.jpg

BonoFox1 12-14-2007 01:25 AM

Reindeer Jokes

What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
”Horn”-aments!

How can Santa's sleigh possibly fly through the air?
You would too if you were pulled by flying reindeer!

What would a reindeer do if it lost its tail?
She’d go to a “re-tail”shop for a new one!

Why is Prancer always wet?
Because he’s a “rain”-deer!

Why does Scrooge love all of the reindeer?
Because every buck is dear to him!

Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
”Rude”-olph!

What do you call a reindeer wearing ear muffs?
Anything you want because he can’t hear you!

What do reindeer always say before telling you a joke?
This one will “sleigh” you!

How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He looks at his calen-“deer”!

What do you give a reindeer with an upset tummy?
”Elk”-a-seltzer!

How do you get into Donner's house?
You ring the “deer”-bell!

What's red and white and gives presents to gazelles?
Santelope!

How many reindeer does it take to change a light bulb?
Eight! One to screw in the light bulb and seven to hold Rudolph down!

Did Rudolph go to a regular school?
No, he was “elf”-taught!

Why did Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken!

Why do reindeer wear fur coats?
Because they look silly in snowsuits!

BonoFox1 12-14-2007 01:29 AM

https://i130.photobucket.com/albums/p...istmas1024.jpg

BonoFox1 12-14-2007 01:30 AM

Elf Jokes

How many elves does it take to change a light bulb? Ten!
One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other’s shoulders!

Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?
Because he had a low “elf”esteem!

How long should an elf's legs be?
Just long enough to reach the ground!

What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer?
"First, YULE LOGon"!

Why did the elf put his bed into the fireplace?
He wanted to sleep like a log!

What's the first thing elves learn in school?
The "elf"-abet!

Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars?
Elfis!

One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner".
And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"

How do elves greet each other?
"Small world, isn't it?"

Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in?
Mini vans!

BonoFox1 12-14-2007 01:31 AM

https://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c2...masCyanide.jpg

BonoFox1 12-14-2007 01:34 AM

X-mas eve jokes


What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
It's Christmas, Eve !

How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day ?
Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve !

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ?
The letter "D" !

What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ?
Santa Claustrophobia !

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ?
Black mail !

Who delievers cat's Christmas presents ?
Santa Paws !

Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney ?
Because it soots him !

Who delievers elephants's Christmas presents?
Elephanta Claus !

How many chimney does Father Christmas go down ?
Stacks !

Why is Santa like a bear on Christmas Eve ?
Because he's Sooty


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:59 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Design, images and all things inclusive copyright © Interference.com