dream out loud pt 27
ok I decided I would make this the last chapter.. enjoy:)
"Gawd you are going to have to stop sleeping me every time I get drunk, I am so useless the morning after suffering with hangovers" Rosie remarked, coming out of the shower, most of her wrapped in a large pink fluffy towel,
"Well if that shouldn't convince you to give up drinking I don't know what will" Bono smiled,
He was sitting on the edge of her bed as she joined him, her hand lightly caressing his bare back, enjoying the chance to have the freedom to touch him physically in a way she hadn't done in a long while.
She watched him now staring at his profile, he seemed lost in his own thoughts, like he was a million miles away unware of her surveying him, she found this a little disconcerting.
After their lovemaking, she had expected him to get smug and crow about the fact she had slept with him, but that was not the case, he seemed unusually quiet, seeming content just to hold her in his arms, now this morning he still seem to lapse into a world of his own, was he already regretting last night, and didn't know how to tell her it was a mistake?
She couldn't bear it any longer, having him so distant, not after what had gone between them the night before.
"Bono is there something wrong?" she found herself asking with concern
"Huh?" Bono eyed her questioningly as he came out of his reverie
" You are so quiet, like you are somewhere else at times.. its not like you"
"I'm Sorry Rosie" he leaned over to kiss her on the forehead "I guess I am in a kindda reflective mood lately.. and espicially now.. I am finding myself in a place I have never been before"
"Oh yeah" Rosie moved closer to him intrigued, "Where is that then?"
Bono laughed softly, but then his expression turned serious as he spoke
"This past year has been a little crazy, one way or another even by my standards, and lately I have been taking a good hard look at myself.. I mean really, I have achieved what I set out to do, I wanted fame and fortune and all the comfort and luxuries of the big rockstar lifestyle plus the respect and recognition of the music industry, and I am proud I have been able to accomplish it all, to make my dreams come true.. for you and me both" he smiled at her.
She returned the smile resting her head against the top of his muscular arm, "Yeah we have done well for ourselves"
"Exactly" Bono nodded "And I thought I had it all, that I had acheieved all ny goals, only when we all fought over the making of our new album, I realised the reason I just couldn't get my head around it all, was because that ambitous drive I had before didn't seem to be there anymore.. not in the same way, we make another hit album we go on another sellout tour.. suddenly it wasn't enough for me anymore" he explained
"Why didn't you say at the time, this was how you were feeling?" Rosie now looked up at him "It might have been more understanding than sniping at the rest of us at times.. not that I am saying it was all your fault, because we were all to blame.. things got a little crazy all of us, all of us pushing our own idea's as the right one. None of us willing to listen to each other.. I realised that was my mistake, when you all took yourselves of "
"Well it wasn't until I was in America with Edge I awknowledged this was one of my problems, espicially when I watched him with his family.. and realised I was actually feeling jealous of him" Bono informed her
"Jealous.. how?" Rosie frowned in bewilderment, lifting her head from his arm so she could look directly into his blue eyes
Bono laughed and shook his head, "This is where it started getting crazy for me... you know how I am, any idea of commitment long term relationships, I always thought it was a fool's game, and certainly something I would never think of seriously, I liked my freedom, I could have my choice of women, from anywhere around the world if I wanted.. so it would be crazy just settling down, I was out to have fun conquer the world, being tied down was not something I wanted or needed.. which was why I couldn't understand how I felt so empty inside and envied Edge having his family around him.. suddenly I found myself wanting what he had.. can you believe that?"
"Actually I am finding it a little hard" Rosie admitted with a nod of her head as she contemplated what he was saying
"I had a hard time accepting it myself, realising I had everything I wanted but suddenly it all became meaningless.. and I found myself longing for someone special in my life" Bono told her "But you know what, there was only one woman that stuck in my mind, that I seen myself sharing my life with, someone I really wanted to be with, even though she was pigheaded stubborn and drove me nuts... but who knew how to always keep me coming back for more.. can you guess who that is?" his blue eyes rested on her intently.
Rosie felt her cheeks heat up, and had trouble meeting his gaze, and she shrugged "I don't have a clue"
Bono give a chuckled softly and put his finger under her chin, making her look up at him "I think you do" he kissed
her lightly on the lips "Deep down you always had a hold on me Rosie I think you know it, only I would never admit it to myself until a few months ago.. I was really missing you when I was over in America"
"But you didn't say anything" Rosie exclaimed, in fact I was under the opinion you were glad to be so far away from me" she admitted miserably
"Well I did want to tell you" Bono replied, "That's why I asked you to come over and join me remember? But it seemed all you cared about was me getting back and getting the album done, and you were pissed cos I told you I was planning on staying in America a little longer, and you went into one of your moods with me, being stubborn and insisting you were not going anywhere, accusing me of not caring if the band split up blah blah blah.. then you hung up on me.. remember"
"Yes" Rosie replied squirming slightly "I was just feeling very vunerable and lost" she then tried to explain "I had convinced myself that you were never all going to get back together again, that U2 had come to an end.. and it left me with nowhere to go.
Music is my life, you know that and I want to keep doing it with you guys.. it just wouldn't be the same if we were not together.. I was scared" she confessed.
"Yeah I understand that now" Bono replied "At the time though, I was just filled with frustration at you, here I was taking the chance to actually offer myself some sort of committment to you and make a go of it... and believe me I never felt so nervous in my life just thinking about it, and before I could even get the chance try, you made me out the bad guy who didn't give a damn about you or anyone.. it was infurating, and I told myself to hell with you then, it wasn't worth the effort, and tried to get you and the idea of us being together out of my head.. that it would never work"
"Oh Bono I am so sorry.. I had no idea" Rosie looked remorseful and put her arms around her neck, "If I had known, I would have been over like a shot believe me"
"Yeah well it doesn't matter now" Bono replied, "When I got in contact with Larry and he told me about you.. for a few moments I almost felt satisfaction, and thought you deserved to stew in your own mess you were getting into, but that was only for a few moments, the next thing I knew I was booking myself a flight back here to come and sort you out once and for all... and the mood I was in, it didn't help when I walked into that bar and found you dancing with that guy.. I so felt like punching his nose the way he was eyeing you up and down.. but who could blame the poor fella, the way you were throwing yourself at him"
"Oh please don't remind me" Rosie cringed hiding her face in Bono's chest, unable to look at him as shame and embarrasment swept over her "I have behaved very badly lately I know, I don't know what got into me, I guess I was trying to escape from the possibility that we were all finished.
"Well we are not finished" Bono told her taking her arms and gently pulling her away a little so he could look her in the eye
"This time tomorrow we will be all in the recording studio's finishing of that damned album.. do you understand?"
Rosie nodded and managed a small smile, and suddenly felt her eyes fill up with tears as relief and other emotions overwhelmed her.
"Ah hell don't cry Rosie, do you know what it does to me when you cry!" Bono exclaimed in dismay
"Believe me the last thing I want to do is cry in front of you now, but I can't help it" she sniffed hurriedly wiping away the threatening tears, " I am so happy" she squeaked
His arms were around her and holding her in a crushing embrace.
"You know you will have to give up the clubbing, no more late nights. you are going to be busy with other things" he informed her .
She pulled away a little grinning up at him. "Oh yeah what like?"
"Come back into bed with me and I will show you" he replied with a wicked twinkle in his eye.
Awww. Sad to see it has come to an end.
But great story, annj! I really enjoyed it.
Can I ask if there will ever be an Island Girl 3?
nope run out of ideas for the Island girl stories, as I think I took the characters as far as I could.. but I am plotting a story at the moment about Adam from u2:) so keep watching this space:wink:
Ah thats alright. I just thought it would be interesting to see how Ali coped with the move, and the progression of their relationship, and then getting married and stuff!
But nah, cool. :)
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