Bonos jokes and one-liners

[europop2005]

Occasionally Bono will make jokes and one liners...making fun of himself, the band, what are some of the things he said at your shows?

 

[Shawn Bonneau]

I always love the band intros. In Foxboro, he talked about The Edge being a test-tube baby

SMB

 

[el_milagro]

Every time Bono claps...

I wasnt there, but i loved (and actually laugh...) when Bono was doing the A-Levels speech in Sheffield and asked Edge how much A-levels did he get and his response was: "More than you".



YouTube - I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For by U2 (with U2 A-Levels Banter) on the 360° tour @Don Valley Stadium, Sheffield

 

[ramblin rose]

^I always laugh out loud during that one. No matter how many times I hear it it always makes me laugh.

 

[U2girl]

The response is good too..."that's hurtful...that's hurtful...it's true".

 

[kramwest1]

"Thanks for giving us a great life!"


UGH!!! The huge groan moment I wait for each show. I just find it funny now.

 

[elevated_u2_fan]

Bono had much better jokes and one-liners on previous tours, he's just not as funny as he used to be

 

[MikeyJB]

Every time Bono claps...

I wasnt there, but i loved (and actually laugh...) when Bono was doing the A-Levels speech in Sheffield and asked Edge how much A-levels did he get and his response was: "More than you".



YouTube - I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For by U2 (with U2 A-Levels Banter) on the 360° tour @Don Valley Stadium, Sheffield

I was there!! It was a very funny moment, I can't make up my mind whether the whole thing was 'scripted' or spontaneous, but it made for one of those truly magical U2-live moments nonetheless.

 

[UberBeaver]

Bono had much better jokes and one-liners on previous tours, he's just not as funny as he used to be

Bill Hicks was doing stand up years before Bono.

 

[last unicorn]

Bono had much better jokes and one-liners on previous tours, he's just not as funny as he used to be

Really. He should start joking altogether. I want another 80s U2 with four guys who look like they have extra sour lemons up their arses. No more humour, please.

 

[U2BROTHR]

In Toronto he claimed Adam was "The effortlessly stylish citizen of the world, and sexual predator -- the only man in U2 who uses face cream."

Yeah, we're 'cooler' | Jane Stevenson | Columnists | Entertainment | Toronto Sun

To be honest....I love it when Bono jokes around. I love the Irish wit.

The 2nd night in Toronto, because of the Film Festival, he made a joke about seeing Colin Farrell at the gas station, George Clooney at the gym, and Megan Fox in his hotel room.....

 

[mikal]

Bono had much better jokes and one-liners on previous tours, he's just not as funny as he used to be

 

[nielsgov]

You have no right to laugh about this.
I still don't know to which ZOOTV show you went.

 

[kuleczka]

"Rockstars are small guys" - to the czech TALL guys who played Angel of Harlem with the band in Berlin
YouTube - U2 Berlin Angel Of Harlem with Bono's joke in the end 2009-07-18

 

[discothequeLP]

I want another 80s U2 with four guys who look like they have extra sour lemons up their arses. No more humour, please.

i second this i want them to look like they are super pissed off and badass.

 

[beau99]

There was Bono's parody of a boxing ring announcer in Phoenix when he did the band intros; he did it because the greatest champ of all time was there.

 

[BGD75]

In Toronto he claimed Adam was "The effortlessly stylish citizen of the world, and sexual predator -- the only man in U2 who uses face cream."

Yeah, we're 'cooler' | Jane Stevenson | Columnists | Entertainment | Toronto Sun

To be honest....I love it when Bono jokes around. I love the Irish wit.

The 2nd night in Toronto, because of the Film Festival, he made a joke about seeing Colin Farrell at the gas station, George Clooney at the gym, and Megan Fox in his hotel room.....

I remember those from Toronto... was pretty funny!

 

[bizkit34]

The 2 one liners i like are on the "JOSHUA TREE" tour press confrence he said the band
want to "boldly go where no other band has gone before"
also, more resently someone asked him to run for president of the United States (its not leagal for him to do) he said "why would i want to live in a smaller house ?"

 

[Rosebud]

I have nothing to add to this thread, but a

I love these guys. So many laughs and -ness

 

[discothequeLP]

the biggest joke of all is how he's decided to sing Moment of Surrender on this tour

 

[BVS]

 

[Rosebud]

^^

 

[beau99]

the biggest joke of all is how he's decided to sing Moment of Surrender on this tour

 

[last unicorn]

the biggest joke of all is how he's decided to sing Moment of Surrender on this tour

You're right, he sang it much better on previous tours

 

[Rosebud]

Let's not fight people; this is one of the only really positive threads left here!

Back to the FUNNY, I command you!

 

[gvox]

The 2nd night in Toronto, because of the Film Festival, he made a joke about seeing Colin Farrell at the gas station, George Clooney at the gym, and Megan Fox in his hotel room.....

I have to go back and listen to the old bootlegs...but when I heard that, I could have sworn that he also did that one or more nights in 2005 (film festival was also going on that tour)...I think George Clooney for sure, and he mentioned a laundromat also..anybody else remember this?

That Bono, rehashing old jokes!

 

[nielsgov]

I have to go back and listen to the old bootlegs...but when I heard that, I could have sworn that he also did that one or more nights in 2005 (film festival was also going on that tour)...I think George Clooney for sure, and he mentioned a laundromat also..anybody else remember this?

That Bono, rehashing old jokes!

His jokes were way better during ZOOTV.
There was a lot more variation with his jokes on Vertigo.
His jokes aren't spontaneous anymore.

 

[elevated_u2_fan]

Bono had much better jokes and one-liners on previous tours, he's just not as funny as he used to be

His jokes were way better during ZOOTV.
There was a lot more variation with his jokes on Vertigo.
His jokes aren't spontaneous anymore.

neither are yours...

 

[nielsgov]

neither are yours...

Forgot that one.

 

[elevated_u2_fan]