Bonos jokes and one-liners

[Jeannieco]

I thought the story he told when he was awarded with his Knighthood, about his son John saying he was disappointed that he wasn't being "knighted" as a Jedi knight was and funny.

 

[Jeannieco]

And the first time I heard....
Let me teach you some Gaelic..UNO DOS TRES CATORE!

Speaking of Vertigo era, there was a VH1 Behind The Music special they did just before the tour started and it was full of goofy, silly Bono quotes and the whole band for that matter ribbing each other. It's great!
Edge: "Mexico, it's like Ireland with sunshine" now that's funny.

This one is a visual... Edge is standing on the edge (HA!) of a pier or something looking down and Bono rushes behind him to say...
"Don't do it THE EDGE...really it wasn't that bad!!"

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

When he said "hello Ohio" when he was in Michigan. Oh yeah, that was a different guy.

I wonder if Bono has ever forgotten where he was

 

[Rosebud]

I thought the story he told when he was awarded with his Knighthood, about his son John saying he was disappointed that he wasn't being "knighted" as a Jedi knight was and funny.

Ha! That is adorable. Do you know where I could find that story? I don't think I ever saw it.

 

[Jeannieco]

Ha! That is adorable. Do you know where I could find that story? I don't think I ever saw it.

I found this in an old PLEBA thread about it!

Don't call him ‘sir’: U2's Bono knighted - Music- msnbc.com

 

[TheFly2U]

There was Bono's parody of a boxing ring announcer in Phoenix when he did the band intros; he did it because the greatest champ of all time was there.

Was that when he said Larry "put the Fu in Kung Fu"? that was hysterical

 

[Rosebud]

Thanks Jeannie!

Haha, I've got to check out a video of that band intro in Phoenix. The band intros have been so awesome this tour.

 

[coolian2]

When he said "hello Ohio" when he was in Michigan. Oh yeah, that was a different guy.

I wonder if Bono has ever forgotten where he was

well, there was that time he said hello to ohio when he was in detroit.

 

[U2NZ]

Short jokes

I wonder if Bono has ever forgotten where he was?

Haha classic. Reminds me of The Simpson, when a rock band was playing, and the guitarist had to sneak a look behind his guitar to see which city he was in. "Hellloo .... (looks behind guitar) Springfield!"

Bono is quirky with short people jokes. He would back in the day constantly joke about his shortness, compared to other people around him.

Transcript: 04 Dec. 1993 - Auckland, New Zealand.
Bono rings a guy whos house overlooks the stadium, and was spotted selling cheap tickets to watch the concert.

MacPhisto: "Yes, you have it in abundance down here, the pioneering spirit. Look what we have up on the hillside - we have some entrepreneurial spirit over here, don't we?! Little over here, little to the left - where is the one with the grandstand? He's making a buck or two! There she goes-- hello!" [waves] "Shall I give them a telephone call?"
Crowd: [cheer]
MacPhisto: "Yes. God and the Devil have all the best phone numbers - let me see."
[dials]
Man: "Yeah, who's calling?"
MacPhisto: "Hello?"
Man: "Hello?"
MacPhisto: "I'd just like to congratulate you on your entrepreneurial spirit. How much are you charging for admission up there, young man?"
Man: "Forty-five thousand dollars."
Crowd: [gasps]
MacPhisto: "Hahahahaha! A thief does even better than us! Where are you? Could you wave to us, young man?"
Man: "Certainly, sir. Hellooo!"
MacPhisto: "Excellent. Now, um - from way up there, I must look like I'm, what, I must look about two inches tall, do I?"
Man: "Yes, you do."
MacPhisto: "Well, I have news for you - I am two inches tall!" [laughs] "Well, I have a little song I'd like to sing for you, and I think it's, it's, it's apt, actually, and I... I... before I do it, I... I, we've sent up some T-shirts to sell to you, so we can make a few bucks from you, you know what I'm saying?!"
Crowd: [cheer]
MacPhisto: "Could you please pass around the official merchandise, I think it should go round there..."
[man hangs up]
Crowd: [hoots of laughter]
MacPhisto: [sings] "Neighbours...!"
Crowd: [laughter]
MacPhisto: [sings] "Everybody needs good neighbours! Full of love and understanding..."
MacPhisto: "I just called to say I love you!"

 

[discothequeLP]

You're right, he sang it much better on previous tours

it's so bad that i would almost prefer to go to a show in an alternate universe where the song was never written

 

[Peterrrrr]

Dont know what to call this but from 2:16 to 2:42, but it sounds funny:
w w w.send space.com/file/o0wlur

 

[U2387]

Haha classic. Reminds me of The Simpson, when a rock band was playing, and the guitarist had to sneak a look behind his guitar to see which city he was in. "Hellloo .... (looks behind guitar) Springfield!"

Bono is quirky with short people jokes. He would back in the day constantly joke about his shortness, compared to other people around him.

Transcript: 04 Dec. 1993 - Auckland, New Zealand.
Bono rings a guy whos house overlooks the stadium, and was spotted selling cheap tickets to watch the concert.

Thanks alot for that!!

That entire story is hilarious, and I have never heard it before!

 

[cathalmc]

I wonder if Bono has ever forgotten where he was

He did it in Toronto during Unknown Caller when he said "Chica- ronto, you know your name ..."

His themed band intros during the US leg of the tour before ISHFWILF were usually hysterical. The governmental themed one in DC about Adam being the minister for foreign affairs, and then the university themed one in Charlottesville about Adam being a fan of the co-educational system, and then the one in ...

 

[blueeyedgirl]

Bono??? Jokes???? He's hardly Billy Bragg!