Post here and I will give an archnemesis.

[corianderstem]

I'm here. Gimme.

[UberBeaver]

She stepped off the bus out into the city streets
Just a small town girl with her whole life
Packed in a suitcase by her feet

But somehow the lights didnt
Shine as bright as they did
On her mamas tv screen

And the work seemed harder
And the days seemed longer
Than she ever thought theyd be

But you know you got to stick to your guns
When it all comes down
Cause sometimes you cant choose
Its like heads they win
Tails youre gonna lose

Chorus:
Win big--mamas fallen angel
Lose big--livin out her lies
Wants it all--mamas fallen angel
Lose it all, rollin the dice of her life

Now she found herself in the fast lane livin day to day
Turned her back on her best friends, yeah
And let her family slip away

Just like a lost soul
Caught up in the hollywood scene
All the parties and the limousines

Such a good actress hiding all her pain
Trading her memories for fortune and fame

Just a step away from the edge of a fall
Caught between heaven and hell
Wheres the girl I knew a year ago

Chorus

Too much too soon
Or just a little too late
Cause when her ship came in
She wasnt there and it just wouldn't wait

[corianderstem]

Are we supposed to choose an archnemesis who was a member of whatever 80s hair-metal band sang that song?

Was it Winger?

[Dalton]

She's like the wind through my tree
She rides the night next to me
She leads me through moonlight
Only to burn me with the sun
She's taken my heart
But she doesn't know what she's done

Feel her breath on my face
Her body close to me
Can't look in her eyes
She's out of my league
Just a fool to believe
I have anything she needs
She's like the wind

I look in the mirror and all I see
Is a young old man with only a dream
Am I just fooling myself
That she'll stop the pain
Living without her
I'd go insane

Feel her breath on my face
Her body close to me
Can't look in her eyes
She's out of my league
Just a fool to believe
I have anything she needs
She's like the wind

Feel your breath on my face
Your body close to me
Can't look in your eyes
You're out of my league
Just a fool to believe
(Just a fool to believe)
She's like the wind
(Just a fool to believe)
Just a fool to believe
(She's like the wind)
Just a fool to believe
(Just a fool to believe)
She's like the wind
(Just a fool to believe)
Just a fool to believe
She's like the wind

(Just a fool...)
(She's like the wind)
(She's like the wind)
(Just a fool...)
(She's like the wind)
(Just a fool...)

[UberBeaver]

Originally posted by corianderstem
Are we supposed to choose an archnemesis who was a member of whatever 80s hair-metal band sang that song?

Was it Winger?

Poison. Had you gotten the answer right I was going to carry on with the archnemesising. But as it is...Sorry. Oh well. Maybe next year.

Dalton, your Swazye obsession is kinda creepy. But here you go:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=uvJFvD4Cz0A

[Dalton]

I follow the Moskva
Down to Gorky Park
Listening to the wind of change
An August summer night
Soldiers passing by
Listening to the wind of change

The world closing in
Did you ever think
That we could be so close,like brothers
The future's in the air
I can feel it everywhere
Blowing with the wind of change

Chorus:
Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow dream away
In the wind of change

Walking down the street
Distant memories
Are buried in the past forever

I fallow the Moskva
Down to Gorky Park
Listening to the wind of change

Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow share their dreams
With you and me

Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow dream away
In the wind of change

The wind of change blows straight
Into the face of time
Like a stormwind that will ring
The freedom bell for peace of mind
Let your balalaika sing
What my guitar wants to say

Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow share their dreams
With you and me

Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow dream away
In the wind of change

[Lila64]

Scorpions! They will rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrock you like a hurrrrrrricane!

Originally posted by UberBeaver


Dalton, your Swazye obsession is kinda creepy. But here you go:

That was a classic skit!

[corianderstem]

Originally posted by UberBeaver
Poison. Had you gotten the answer right I was going to carry on with the archnemesising. But as it is...Sorry. Oh well. Maybe next year.

Damn. You know, I was going to say Poison, but then I tried to picture Poison singing it, and said "Nahhh, it wasn't Poison."

[LMP]

Originally posted by No spoken words


Keep your mind on Encora.

Space Moon is always on my mind.

[unico]

is it mah turn?

[Aidan O'Leary]

I demand an arch-nemesis. And if it isn't a detailed ballad, I will be displeased more than ever before.

[Doozer61]

I think Beav has gone into hiding

[UberBeaver]

Originally posted by Aidan O'Leary
I demand an arch-nemesis. And if it isn't a detailed ballad, I will be displeased more than ever before.

Aidan O'Leary
Some washed up former Metal Singer that hates Kurt Cobain and everything post 1992, so he still writes songs with his acoustic guitar that start off slow, then rise to a METAL EXPLOSION then end soft. He hates Aidan O'Leary because he looks like a grunge fan. So he wrote this:

Acoustic only C-G-D:

Chorus:
When I think of you,
I grow so teary.
What's your problem, man?
Huh, Aidan o'Leary?

Forced to leave your home
Cause you couldn't grow a potato,
You came to America and asked,
"What the fuck is a tomato?"

Chorus:
When I think of you,
I grow so teary.
What's your problem, man?
Huh, Aidan o'Leary?

You look like Pulitzer
Though I thought it was James Joyce.
I'd tell you to STFU or GFY,
If I were given a choice.

Chorus:
When I think of you,
I grow so teary.
What's your problem, man?
Huh, Aidan o'Leary?

(Slow build, strum E5 in quarters, then eighths then sixteenths, and then:
METAL EXPLOSION):

(High picthed wail, clip words to add menace
WHERE IS GRUNGE NOW, MAN?
Died with Kurt Cobain.
He sure took the (very high pitched hold the note) pluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunge now, man,
"WAH WAH WAH I feel pain."
Your wife killed you, you know,
Cause she hated your music too.
And I guess it only goes to show
She sucked even more than you.

It's.......(music slows here - whisper....true.

When I think of you,
I grow so teary.
What's your problem, man?
Huh, Aidan o'Leary?
Huh, Aidan o'Leary?
Huh, Aidan o'Leary?
Huh, Aidan o'Leary?

(strum C-chord slowly, one string at a time)

Shhhhhh.

[elevated_u2_fan]

I'm totally down with this...

[UberBeaver]

El_Fa

The Bea-Vah

She resigns to the circumstances and shakes her head. The Maple Leaf signal lights the sky of Interland. Minutes later, from out of the shadows comes the hero known as The El_Fa. "What is it this time, Khamisioner? Are Bitch-Titted NSW's panties all in a bunch again?"

"No, worse."

"Is that lunatic Philly Fan killing New Yorkers again? I haven't been following baseball, did the Mets beat them again, or something? THESE CRAZIES MUST BE STOPPED! I'M ON IT! Flyers are playing the Hurricanes, THAT will surely be his next scene - "

"No, no. Not the pfan. We've got the Phillies in first place. He should be quiet for now."

"Oh...AH HA! The Leg Humping Dog is making videos again! I thought he was done for sure after the last time. I'M...I don't really want to deal with him.......I'm still kinda freaked from the last time."

"No, it's not him. This is far, far worse."

"Uh...I doubt that. Those videos were ka-raaaa - "

"The Bea-Vah."

"Huh?"

"The Bea-Vah."

"No."

"Yes." I'm afraid....this came today. It's a card. A sympathy card. It's addressed to you."

The El_Fa takes the card form the Khamisioner. Slowly he opens it, a picture of Paul Maaurice falls out. The El_Fa picks it up. "So...he took Paul Maurice hostage? Am I supposed to care? Cause honestly, I'm really, really fine with that. Like, 'let's call the whole thing off' fine with it. It is, as they say, a 'Non-Issue'."

"We don't think it has anything to do with Maurice. We think it has to do with you. Turn the picture over."

El_Fa gasps as he reads in scrawled handwriting, "WUT DOEZNT KILL U, ONLEE MAKES YOU....CANADIAN!" El_Fa looks at the Khamisioner. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"We don't know. We assume 'Why so Canadian' was already used, so he had to go with a backup. To avoid redundancy."

"Genius. I need to prepare. This won't be easy."

The Khamisioner turns to shut the light. "Good luck, El_Fa, anything you need - " but as she turned back The El_Fa had already gone into the night.

She grinned and shook her head. From the east she noticed the sky brighten. As she peered she noticed the Douche Bag symbol emblazoned upon the low hanging clouds. She froze, her skin prickled. Things had gone from bad, to worse. Not just The Bea-Vah, the entire UYMFA Gang. "Godspeed, El_fa, Godspeed."

[Doozer61]

[No spoken words]

Originally Posted by UberBeaver

El_Fa

The Bea-Vah

She resigns to the circumstances and shakes her head. The Maple Leaf signal lights the sky of Interland. Minutes later, from out of the shadows comes the hero known as The El_Fa. "What is it this time, Khamisioner? Are Bitch-Titted NSW's panties all in a bunch again?"

"No, worse."

"Is that lunatic Philly Fan killing New Yorkers again? I haven't been following baseball, did the Mets beat them again, or something? THESE CRAZIES MUST BE STOPPED! I'M ON IT! Flyers are playing the Hurricanes, THAT will surely be his next scene - "

"No, no. Not the pfan. We've got the Phillies in first place. He should be quiet for now."

"Oh...AH HA! The Leg Humping Dog is making videos again! I thought he was done for sure after the last time. I'M...I don't really want to deal with him.......I'm still kinda freaked from the last time."

"No, it's not him. This is far, far worse."

"Uh...I doubt that. Those videos were ka-raaaa - "

"The Bea-Vah."

"Huh?"

"The Bea-Vah."

"No."

"Yes." I'm afraid....this came today. It's a card. A sympathy card. It's addressed to you."

The El_Fa takes the card form the Khamisioner. Slowly he opens it, a picture of Paul Maaurice falls out. The El_Fa picks it up. "So...he took Paul Maurice hostage? Am I supposed to care? Cause honestly, I'm really, really fine with that. Like, 'let's call the whole thing off' fine with it. It is, as they say, a 'Non-Issue'."

"We don't think it has anything to do with Maurice. We think it has to do with you. Turn the picture over."

El_Fa gasps as he reads in scrawled handwriting, "WUT DOEZNT KILL U, ONLEE MAKES YOU....CANADIAN!" El_Fa looks at the Khamisioner. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"We don't know. We assume 'Why so Canadian' was already used, so he had to go with a backup. To avoid redundancy."

"Genius. I need to prepare. This won't be easy."

The Khamisioner turns to shut the light. "Good luck, El_Fa, anything you need - " but as she turned back The El_Fa had already gone into the night.

She grinned and shook her head. From the east she noticed the sky brighten. As she peered she noticed the Douche Bag symbol emblazoned upon the low hanging clouds. She froze, her skin prickled. Things had gone from bad, to worse. Not just The Bea-Vah, the entire UYMFA Gang. "Godspeed, El_fa, Godspeed."

[phillyfan26]

Beav still has it. UYMFA 4 LYFE.

[elevated_u2_fan]

Originally Posted by UberBeaver

El_Fa

The Bea-Vah

She resigns to the circumstances and shakes her head. The Maple Leaf signal lights the sky of Interland. Minutes later, from out of the shadows comes the hero known as The El_Fa. "What is it this time, Khamisioner? Are Bitch-Titted NSW's panties all in a bunch again?"

"No, worse."

"Is that lunatic Philly Fan killing New Yorkers again? I haven't been following baseball, did the Mets beat them again, or something? THESE CRAZIES MUST BE STOPPED! I'M ON IT! Flyers are playing the Hurricanes, THAT will surely be his next scene - "

"No, no. Not the pfan. We've got the Phillies in first place. He should be quiet for now."

"Oh...AH HA! The Leg Humping Dog is making videos again! I thought he was done for sure after the last time. I'M...I don't really want to deal with him.......I'm still kinda freaked from the last time."

"No, it's not him. This is far, far worse."

"Uh...I doubt that. Those videos were ka-raaaa - "

"The Bea-Vah."

"Huh?"

"The Bea-Vah."

"No."

"Yes." I'm afraid....this came today. It's a card. A sympathy card. It's addressed to you."

The El_Fa takes the card form the Khamisioner. Slowly he opens it, a picture of Paul Maaurice falls out. The El_Fa picks it up. "So...he took Paul Maurice hostage? Am I supposed to care? Cause honestly, I'm really, really fine with that. Like, 'let's call the whole thing off' fine with it. It is, as they say, a 'Non-Issue'."

"We don't think it has anything to do with Maurice. We think it has to do with you. Turn the picture over."

El_Fa gasps as he reads in scrawled handwriting, "WUT DOEZNT KILL U, ONLEE MAKES YOU....CANADIAN!" El_Fa looks at the Khamisioner. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"We don't know. We assume 'Why so Canadian' was already used, so he had to go with a backup. To avoid redundancy."

"Genius. I need to prepare. This won't be easy."

The Khamisioner turns to shut the light. "Good luck, El_Fa, anything you need - " but as she turned back The El_Fa had already gone into the night.

She grinned and shook her head. From the east she noticed the sky brighten. As she peered she noticed the Douche Bag symbol emblazoned upon the low hanging clouds. She froze, her skin prickled. Things had gone from bad, to worse. Not just The Bea-Vah, the entire UYMFA Gang. "Godspeed, El_fa, Godspeed."

that is fucking awesome!

[UberBeaver]

pfan

Bitch Tits

Just south of South Street, only meters from the old Vet, pfan giggles maniacally as he stares up to the clouds where the douche bag signal calls for his former ally.

"UYMFA UYMFA
Days gone bad
UYMFA UYFMA
Gone are the days we rocked this land.
UYMFA UYFMA
Never forget
UYMFA UYMFA
You know that I - "

"NEVER HAD!"

"Ahh...well now, if it isn't Bitch Tits. Why so - "

"Shut up, pfan. Do I think I have forgotten what the douche signal can do? Have you?"

"no no no no no no. Do you think I am some sort of knave, my friend? Do you not recall - "

"1983?"

"CURSE YOU! CURSE YOU, BITCH TITS! Or shall I call you N-"

"There is no need to utter such letters. Those days have past. A new order has arisen. This is not 1983, nor Winter 2007. Let the past be past."

"oh no no no no no noNSW. This IS 1983. The Sixers are going to sweep the lakers, and I SHALL TRIUMPH!!!! E-A-G-L-E-S! GO FLYERS GO FLYERS GO FLYERS GO!!! A HA HA HA!"

"You've gone mad, man. 25 years without a championship. Aye, a lifetime plus for you. It is sad, but you cannot take your anger out upon Interland. It is not right."

"Oooohhhhh, but it is RITE! M I RITE?"

"No, you are - "

"Have you even checked the NL East standings? WHO IS ON TOP? A HA HA HA HA HA!!!!"

"Indeed, I have. But I know this: It is only a matter of time before they choke."

"A HA HA HA HA. NO NO NO My man-breasted friend. Not this year. THIS IS OUR YEAR!!!"

"How many times do you think the Bea-Vah uttered those words as a Red Sox fan? 5-10-20?"

"DO NOT SPEAK HIS NAME!!!"

"The answer, my former apprentice, is 30."

"YOU SHALL NOT REIGN ON MY VICTORY PARADE! Take this - "

pfan calls to the god of demise and Vengence and hurls failure towards Bitch Tits. But Bitch Tits is unmoved. He catches the spell and allows to course into his body. "2008 NY Giants. 1986 Mets, 1987 Giants. 1994 Rangers. 1983 and 1984 Islanders, not counting the two previous. The Yankees...only the gods can count them since 1983, at least, liek two. Shall I continue?"

"DIE, Bitch Tits! DIEEEEE!"

"No. It will take much more than that. All your signal has done is alerted the El_Fa, and he, my little friend, has been waiting since 1967. Do you think you can usurp him?"

"IT'S NOT FAIR. We deserve victory."

"Ahhh....yes. There's the rub. You do deserve Victory....but victory as defined by your terms, pfan. Why let EL_FA and the Bea_Vah define victory. Why do not WE choose who is champion?"

"Are you proposing....an alliance?"

"Yes."

"But NY and Philly....it cannot be. The mods won't allow such an arrangement."

"Ahhh....but who are the mods? Sicy? She is in Cali, clearly these matters are not of her domain? Khamisioner Rhodes? She cares little of such arrangements. Bonochick? Please. You and I, pfan. We can take UYMFA to new heights. Heights of all manner of cups and trophies and pennants. We can do this! TOGETHER!"

"We can overcome the El_Fa and The Bea_Vah? This is your proposal?"

"Aye....and the others. Together we can rule UYMFA! Fear will hold UYMFA in line! FEAR OF OUR POSTING PROWESS!"

"Ahhh....Bitch Tits....you truly are wise. But not wise enough, my friend. You see, I lured you here. The Douche Bag symbol works many ways. It calls all Douche Bags, of which clearly you were a god amongst men."

"Indeed....I was a douche bag....but I am unable to type g-d."

"And that, my friend, is the rub. When last we met, I was but a learner. Now I am the master."

"Only the master of UYMFA, pfan."

"Exactly. Join me. We will rule UYMFA. I AM YOUR FATHER, NSW!"

"No....no your not."

"OK, I'm not. But still....we can bring UYMFA back, and then destroy it."

"An Interland in chaos? Is this what you propose?"

"YES! Free from the El_Fa and the Bea_Vah. Free from the YLB and LM. Free from the horny dog, free from the bunny from the nee redhotswami. Free, my friend, from all of them."

"This is madness.....and I am intrigued."

"I'm smart. Not like everyone says. I'm smaht."

"Indeed. So say we all."

"Yes, so say we all."