Night and Day
The Day The Earth Stood Still Guy
N&D (is she still around?) looks up from her ledger to sneak a peek at the time. 3:23 it reads. "Goddamn, time is dragging today," she thinks. "Wasn't it 3:23 like, 20 minutes ago?" she says aloud. "Fuck." She looks at the time on the desk clock, and her watch (always 5 minutes fast), and the computer. All say roughly the same thing. She puts her head back into her work, but then quickly looks up. The second hand isn't moving on the wall clock. Nor on her watch. She doubles click the little clock on the bottom right of her computer screen - the seconds do not change. The colon on the desk clock - still.
"Oh you stupid little mother fucker. I am going to rip your fucking head off and eat your spine. HEY!"
She gets up from her desk, her co-workers try to remain inconspicuous lest they get noticed. She opens the door to the street, stares at the sun and bellows, "Get the fuck down here you fucking piece of alien shit. NOW!"
The sun dims for a moment as a shape takes form, slightly above the ground. Eventually the outline of a man is there, finally features appear, followed by details. "Hello, NightandDay. I have returned to get my veng - "
"You shut the fuck up and listen to me. You are not pulling this shit at 3:23 on a fucking Tuesday. Do you hear me? I am not spending the rest of my life waiting for an hour and 17 minutes that will never come to pass. I will - "
"Oh - it's much worse than that. It's an hour and 37 minutes that will never pass! MWAUAHHAHAHA!"
N&D's face grows rock solid. "One, do not fucking ever fucking interrupt me. Two, I said 17 minutes because I leave at 4:40. I come in 30 minutes early, never take more than an hour for lunch, so I feel it is within my rights to leave 20 minutes early. Three - I promised you last time you tried to pull this shit that if you EVER tried to fuck with me again I would punch a hole in your skull and fuck you in that hole with various office supplies. Ask any of my friends, I keep my promises. I'm coming at you like a goddamn frieght train, son. I'm off the mother fucking rails. Mental wounds? Yeah. Not healing. It's on." She pulls a Sharpie from her pocket and begins toward The Day The Earth Stood Still Guy, who quivers slightly. Fear crawls into his eyes. "It seems there has been a .... misundertanding. My apologies. I...ummm...."
"You got here about an hour and 17 minutes too early. Am I right?"
"Yes, yes of course. That must be it. I'm just early. Happens all the time when you stop time...heh. Ironic, rig -"
"Shut the fuck up. See you @ 4:41. Asshole."
And with a smile N&D went back to work. She walked out the office door @ 4:40 and never had to come back.
The End.