The Seinfeld Appreciation Thread

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Jerry: "The answering machine is like a relationship barometer!"

George: "What IS a barometer?"

Kramer: "It's pronounced 'thermometer'."
 
Elaine: "What? What is nice? Trying to fill the void in your life with flour and sugar and egg and vanilla?! I mean, we are all unhappy! Do we have to be fat, too?!"
 
With having just started a new job, I was able to use these lines...:wink:

Kramer: "What are you starting with me for? You know this is my crazy time of year!"

Jerry: "It's your THIRD day!"
 
Jerry: *points to himself* "This is an idiot."

George: "Is that right? I just threw away a lifetime of guilt-free sex and floor seats for every sporting event in Madison Square Garden. So please, a little respect. For I am Costanza, Lord of the Idiots."

Roxanne: *yelling out the window to marathon runners* You're all winners!!!"

George: "But suddenly, a new contender has emerged..."
 
Bono's American Wife said:
tweety.jpg



:bow: :lmao:
 
Jerry: "Well, the crowd most have gone wild!"

George: "Oh, yes, they did, Jerry. They were all over me. It was like Rocky 1. Diane came up to me, threw her arms around me, and kissed me. We both had tears streaming down our faces. I never saw anyone so beautiful. It was at that moment I decided to tell her I was not a marine biologist."

Jerry: "Wow! What'd she say?"

George: "She told me to go to hell, and I took the bus home."
 
Kramer: "Yeow!"

Elaine: "What?"

Kramer: "Well, you're getting heavy. Yeah, you look like you put n five...ten pounds."

Jerry: "Kramer!"

Kramer: "I'll tell you something else, you're looking a little chunky
yourself, buddy."

Jerry: "Me?"

Kramer: "Yeah."

Jerry: "No."

Elaine: "Where's your bathroom scale?"

*Jerry gives her a 'duh' look*

Elaine: "Oh my god, I've gained seven pounds!"

Jerry: "I've gained eight!"

Kramer: "I told you!"

Elaine: "Oh my god! A couple...but seven pounds? How did I gain seven pounds?!"

Jerry: "How did I gain eight?!"

Elaine: "I don't get it. I've been doing the same exercises. I
haven't been eating anything different."

Jerry: "Me either! Wait a second. Wait a second. Maybe it's that
yogurt!"

Kramer: "No, no, no. That's a hundred percent non-fat!"

Jerry: "Well, how else could this have happened?"

Kramer: "Well, maybe it's the Oreos."

Elaine: "I don't eat Oreos."

Kramer: "YOU don't eat Oreos? The way you break them open?
It's like you're having sex with them!"

Jerry: "What about me?"

Kramer: "You? You're getting old."

Jerry: "Maybe your yogurt isn't so non-fat."

Kramer: "Oh, guess again, Tubby!"

Elaine: "Jerry, there's got to be a way to find that out."

Jerry: "There must be some kind of lab that would do that kind of
thing."

Elaine: "I've got it!"

Kramer: "What?"

Elaine: "I'll call the Food and Drug Administration!"

Kramer: "Hey, I'll tell you what, chubby, if that yogurt has fat in it, will put myself on an all-yogurt diet for a week."

Jerry: "Well, let's start the insanity."

Kramer: "Giddy-up!"


~~~

Kramer: "Well, you can't have this tested now. It's melting."

Jerry: "So what?"

Kramer: "It changes the molecules."

Jerry: "Oh, you don't know what you're talking about."

Kramer: "Hey, fatso, I got a 90 in biology!"

Jerry: "You call me fatso one more time, you're going to be walking
back!"
 
believe it or not George isn't at home, just leave a message after bip
I must be out, or I'd pick up the phoen, where could I be?
Believe it or not, I'm not home...

:lmao: :dance:
 
pepokiss said:
believe it or not George isn't at home, just leave a message after bip
I must be out, or I'd pick up the phoen, where could I be?
Believe it or not, I'm not home...

:lmao: :dance:

That is probably one of my top 5 Seinfeld moments!! :lmao:

I sing that song to myself all the time for no reason :reject:
 
Has anyone seen Jerry perform live?

He is coming to the Kennedy Center next month and I was interested but did not want to have huge expectations since it is not the show.
 
pepokiss said:
believe it or not George isn't at home, just leave a message after bip
I must be out, or I'd pick up the phoen, where could I be?
Believe it or not, I'm not home...
i found an mp3 of this on napster ages ago, and used it as my voicemail message for almost 4 years :up:
 
Bono's American Wife said:


That is probably one of my top 5 Seinfeld moments!! :lmao:

I sing that song to myself all the time for no reason :reject:

My mom makes me sing it for her. :lol:

I used to have it as my answering machine message, and I even edited out "George" and put "Katherine" in instead. :lol:
 
George's Message on Jerry's Answering Machine: Hello, this is George. I've got nothing to say.
 
George: "I just don't like the idea that every time there is a dinner invitation, there's this annoying little chore that goes along with it!"

Jerry: "You know, you're getting to be an annoying little chore yourself."
 
U2@NYC said:
Has anyone seen Jerry perform live?

He is coming to the Kennedy Center next month and I was interested but did not want to have huge expectations since it is not the show.

In the mid-80's when he was on the small comedy stage circuit....it was the Comedy and Magic Club in Hermosa Beach, CA....he was actually squeeezed between a ventriloquist and a magician who, somehow pulled a duck out of his coat....Jerry walked on stage and asked, "Where did all thid duck shit come from???" :lol: It was Gold!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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