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Old 10-03-2002, 12:51 PM   #21
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Speaking of weight issues, I just wanted to mention that I picked up a copy of Richard Simmons' autobiography in a book sale many months ago, and just recently started reading it. I'm about half way, but enjoying it ENORMOUSLY, this guy really understands food obsession (something that I definitely have!)

Here is an example of a guy who suffered from weight problems, teasing etc. He has a hilarious way of telling stories, and I highly recommend it!
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Old 10-04-2002, 04:06 PM   #22
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Body image...too fat , too thin? impossible to get it right

maddie
again
I could tell you a story.....
but I'd rather just you.
But I hear you and it's tough and it sucks...
great big fecking ignorant thick-headed, insensitive,blind, shallow, hair-encrusted balls, doesn't it?

No matter how little I eat, I can't change my shape.(some people are starting to ask am I sick.................probably )


I had only seen one blurry photo of you before....!WOW!You are much much prettier than me...deadset, no joke............don't get me started on my flaws, it's too depressing.
me &U too
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Old 10-05-2002, 08:32 PM   #23
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Mad1, I can sympathize with your worries and aggravation. Don't worry about though, because millions of people would like to be thin, but can't get off the weight. As long as you're healthy and have an optimistic attitude those idiots won't be able to bring you down. Those morons have peanut sized brains, due to their inability to know how rude they are, and due to their need to be vocal about it.

And one last point: I've always thought Geri Halliwell was hot, and that's an understatement!
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Old 10-05-2002, 08:39 PM   #24
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Okay....now that I've read through the preceding posts (and seen your picture), I must say that you are not "really, really skinny".

That may not float your boat, but it is TRUE. You look slightly thinner than an average girl, but by no means deathly. In fact, I'd wager that a lot of guys hit on you. You're very pretty, and whatever you're doing, keep it up
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Old 10-05-2002, 09:02 PM   #25
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Maddie, you're lovely!

My size...you've seen Bridget Jones's Diary? I'm shaped a lot like Renee Zellweger was in that movie: not *heavy*, really, but, well...curvy, let us say. And I look terrible in pictures.

I agree that most Western societies tend to be pretty size-ist, despite the fact that the average (for example) American woman is five-foot-four and weighs 145 pounds--which is not exactly bone-thin. I guess that would come out to about a size 12. I'm a little shorter and smaller than that and I wear and 8 or a 10, so...

But why are we size-ist? I have a theory. America's Calvinist past rewards extrremes; specifically in this case, extreme self-denial and discipline. Just like our Calvinist ancestors believed that only an elect few can go to heaven, we retain the belief in that only a select few can be called beautiful. And that's just silly. I'm damn hot. And slightly drunk. But what the hell.
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Old 10-06-2002, 06:12 AM   #26
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Maddie I totally agree with you. I think that it is horrible that society allows "fat jokes" to be acceptable. It's a shame that people don't realize that sometimes their weight is something they can't control. I hate that a person's worth is dictated by their size. I hate that in America it is considered obsene to be over a size 8. Of course the media doesn't help....on one of those annoying tabloids....they had a picture of someone and I can't remember who...with the caption "*name of star* pigs out and friends are worried about her getting fat" and to be honest, I didn't see anything wrong with the picture, other than the fact that she looked healthy and not sickly and thin. I personally get revolted when I look through "People" or "Us" and see their "fashion and style" sections....these women look horrible....skin and bones, drawn faces and grey teeth... Yet somehow they are rewarded for having eating disorders and being unhealthy.
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Old 10-07-2002, 02:27 AM   #27
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Quote:
. I hate that in America it is considered obsene to be over a size 8.
I think that people in america have no concept of what different sizes and weights look like and they never seem to take height into consideration. The is supposed to maybe be something like a size 3 or 5 and 110 pounds maybe? yeah that's fine if you're 5'2", but if you're 5'9" that's skin and bones. I wear a size 10 and weigh 135 lbs and I'm not fat, not even chubby. I'm 5'7" and that is a perfectly healthy weight for my height, if I was to lose 25 lbs to get down to 110 I would look like I had cancer or something and probably be really sick and weak. I say that people have no concept of these sizes because whenever people find out what size I wear they usually say "no way, you couldn't possibly wear that size" I just go well I am fairly tall and I'm larger on bottom then on top.


I know how you feel Mad1, although I don't have people telling me that I'm too skinny I get comments about being too pale. Sometimes they're tactful and just concerned that I'm not feeling well, but other times they can say things like "ewww you're so pale" I find that extremely rude. I would never go up to someone and say ewww you're skin is so dark. Damn it I'm Irish, we're supposed to be pale!
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Old 10-07-2002, 06:32 AM   #28
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Its not about size, like ILuvLarryMullen said, its just plain rude to comment on someone's appearance. Size matters as much as hair colour or height. We just tend to be a little more uptight about weight, therefore making it rude to comment I think. What problem we have with our perceptions of ourselves is ours alone. People will rarely ask you what they think of their size, so why volunteer this kind of information? Not everyone aspires to be slim, not everyone cares that they are or are not. Some people do, and when they do care, it is their issue alone to be having.
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Old 10-07-2002, 01:38 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally posted by Angela Harlem
its just plain rude to comment on someone's appearance.


My husband's best friend picked up one of our wedding photos (7 years and 30 pounds ago) and had the nerve to say to me "No offense Char, but what happened to you? You look great here...what happened since then? Just how much weight have you gained?"

No offense??

I wanted to ask him what happened to all of his once thick head of hair (I knew him in high school) but I didn't want to stoop to his level. Ass.

People just have no business commenting on someone's weight, whether they're considered too thin or overweight. It's just rude.
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Old 10-09-2002, 09:57 PM   #30
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Could you imagine the uproar if this song were released today? It was popular in my parents' day (yes, I have old parents!)

(chorus 1)
Oh, I don't want her, you can have her,
She's too fat for me.
She's too fat for me,
She's too fat for me.
I don't want her, you can have her,
Please do that for me.
She's too fat, she's too fat,
She's too fat for me.

I get dizzy, I get numbo
When I'm dancing
With my Jum-Jum-Jumbo.

(chorus 2)
I don't want her, you can have her,
She's too fat for me.
She's too fat for me,
She's too fat for me.
I don't want her, you can have her,
She's too fat for me,
She's too fat,
She's too fat,
She's too fat for me. Oh,

(repeat chorus 1, then)

She's a twosome, she's a foursome
If she'd lose some,
I would like her more some.
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Old 10-09-2002, 10:45 PM   #31
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mrs. Edge
Could you imagine the uproar if this song were released today? It was popular in my parents' day (yes, I have old parents!)

(chorus 1)
Oh, I don't want her, you can have her,
She's too fat for me.
She's too fat for me,
She's too fat for me.
I don't want her, you can have her,
Please do that for me.
She's too fat, she's too fat,
She's too fat for me.

I get dizzy, I get numbo
When I'm dancing
With my Jum-Jum-Jumbo.

(chorus 2)
I don't want her, you can have her,
She's too fat for me.
She's too fat for me,
She's too fat for me.
I don't want her, you can have her,
She's too fat for me,
She's too fat,
She's too fat,
She's too fat for me. Oh,

(repeat chorus 1, then)

She's a twosome, she's a foursome
If she'd lose some,
I would like her more some.
I remember this song very well! It used to be a regular in the playlist when my mom listened to her Sunday Polka Hour on the radio! LOL
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Old 10-11-2002, 05:48 AM   #32
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You know somethin, I was watching this series thats on in NI/UK called Fat Friends.........I barely watch it, but its about 'large' pple struggling with everyday life of trying to cut down/have a great social life/love life, etc - ya know, its a drama (Im sure all other NIers and UKers will know what Im talking about).......but last night's episode touched me.....


That girl Lisa (actresses name who does the You've Been Framed), played her role so well....my heart went out to her....

Basically her character works in a Garden Centre and a new girl applied for a job but it was someone who used to be at her school and apparantly bullied her endlessly about her size.....(in actual fact Lisa is large but she is absolutely bubbly and lovely on TV when presenting - more important), but at first this girl gets the job and is ok at first.


Then the skirts shorter and the bullyin starts again, now in the jobworld.......and Lisa's character is upset and starts crying and hiding. Then comes a stage where a famous gardener comes to see the centre and get a presentation that was supposed to be down by.........(oh I tink Ive got her name now) Rebecca, but its SHARON (the bully) who fuks it up, by making sure Rebecca feels bad about her size.........

(and there was a scene where Rebecca was in her room just starin at herself in the mirror sayin over and over to herself how she deserves love, and gets up and turns the mirror round so that she cant see the person she hates anymore....:cry:..)

anyway Sharon walks round with the famous guy, and there was a point where he was to get up on a stage and Rebecca was meant to present something to him, but Sharon was a bitch and had loosened screws around (sabotaged) the stage...........so refused to get up with him, knowing so.......then Rebecca comes in and they all turn round and her folks urge her up and everyone applauds her - but uve guessed it, the stage collapses making it look like it was meant to be the size of the girl making it collapse and she falls into pond with pots tipping on top of her.

She runs off.......and my heart goes out to her.......boy did I want to kill that bitch!

Anyway her parents and a male colleague burst into the house and find her out the back smashing all her pots and the greenhouse, and the male colleague tries to talk to her, urging the parents to go back in. And poor Rebecca is sitting there, soaked and miserable and crying over Sharon over everything, how much she hates herself over her size, how she thinks shes ugly, etc etc (u get the picture) - and I truly started crying......the tears just came........I was too touched emotionally and not often does a drama do that........

it was too depressing to watch ..............but my heart went out, and I just wanted to jump in and hug her for ages and ages and ages..............



it was the saddest Ive seen yet.....

and esp that she has feelings for the male colleague who was there...........but he said he liked her and that she was one of the nicest pple hed ever met.


and it was awful,,,,,,,,she said how all her life Sharon kept bullyin her at school and pple said ignore it and how could she ignore someone constantly telling them they were fat and gross and etc.......and how she found something in gardening, how she enjoyed planting things and watching them grow, she found something to love........and.............gawd the whole scene was soooooo sad......

I wanted to take every person in the world who gets laughed at, or picked on cause of their size and squish them tight.......and tell them that I love them and that everything will be alright......

for even though Im skinny, I too know what bullying is like........






oh boy, it was awful...

In the end the colleague helped her find strength to fire her...and she did.......and Rebecca and the fella walked away, and then he took her hand.....and it was beautiful moment.....

I felt so happy for her.......


*sigh*
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Old 10-11-2002, 11:28 AM   #33
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i have those kinda problems too because, although i don't think i am, loadsa people seem to think i'm really skinny.

I have this friend who's quite curvy and when we were going shopping we picked clothes for each other to try on and when i said i was size 6 she freaked...like seriously...i was like 'calm down...' and she was just standing there saying omg!!! the thing is, if I had never had told her my size then she wouldn't have said anything. It's not even about what you look like any more, its about what size clothes you wear....makes absolutely NO sense at all, it's just a label godammit!!
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Old 10-11-2002, 04:13 PM   #34
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Quote:
Originally posted by mad1
I wanted to take every person in the world who gets laughed at, or picked on cause of their size and squish them tight.......and tell them that I love them and that everything will be alright......

for even though Im skinny, I too know what bullying is like........
right back at you maddie!

At the risk of saying too much I'd like to tell you a little bit about me.

I've always been the "fat girl". I used to get really depressed about it, thinking that something was wrong with me. I used to never think I was beautiful. It was a painful way to live.

The turning point for me was when I was physically attacked because I'm overweight. For me, that started a change in me. I realized that it wasn't me who wasn't beautiful. Because the beauty we see in other people only reflects the beauty that is in ourselves. So those people who thought I was ugly were only reflecting their own ugly prejudices. Granted, I did not come to this realization overnight. I still battle with being depressed over my weight.

But I also realize that I am happy. It doesn't matter what I look like on the outside because when I look in the mirror, I see a beautiful person who has a lot of things going for her, including her weight. I see a person who is actually stonger because of the ridicule. And I see a person who is able to better empathize with everyone because she has been the butt of so much ridicule.

And because I don't make a big issue of my weight, my friends and family don't either. It's just one of those aspects that's shapes a person's life. And I don't bring up my weight with other people. I conduct my life the way any normal person would, because I am a normal person. People sometimes look at me askance because I don't notice myself. It's almost as if they think I'm not happy. And I would like to correct them: I am VERY happy because I have been blessed with so many things in life. In my mind, it's not your weight that makes you. It's not how you look on the outside. It's all about what's inside. I try to be what I am. And if other people don't like that, then it's just their own ugliness they're seeing.

Maddie, you are a beautiful person because you refuse to judge people on the way they look. Your beauty is reflected in the way you look at other people. We need more people like you in this world.

So all I can say is hang in there and try not to "let the bastards grind you down" (to quote someone we all know very well ).

Loveth,
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Old 10-11-2002, 05:09 PM   #35
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maddie i used to have the same problem as you when I was in high school and in college. When I graduated high school I was a size 2 and barely weighed 95lbs. I am also 5'7 so you can imagine how thin I was. Skinniness is something that I had to deal with all of my life. I guess I was lucky enough to inherit a high metabolism. It was very annoying. I hated being skinny. I would always walk around wishing I would gain at least 30 lbs. to fit in with the norm. I could not even donate blood because I was too thin.

People, including friends and boyfriends were always making comments about how thin I was. Telling me that I had some sort of eating problem. It took a toll on me and crushed any self esteem that I had. I would eat like crap (tons of fast food) to prove to them all that I could gain weight. When I went away to college I gained 20 lbs. and was very happy with that. However the guy I was dating seemed to think that was not good enough. He would always tell me "if only you would gain 5 more lbs., you would be perfect" "your legs are too skinny, you have chicken legs, they look like they could break" again, all the self-esteem that I had started to go down the drain. Needless to say I broke up with this guy. And because of all of those comments and eating crap food, I killed my body. I have had to have two surgeries in the past 2 years because my diet killed my organs. I am healthier now, but still have to watch what I eat because my kidneys do end up hurting me from time to time. I have learned to accept my body size and my hair (which is naturally curly and a big mess at times ) for what it is. So I understand what you are going through. Just hang in there. It will get better. Trust me. Take care of yourself!
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Old 10-11-2002, 06:48 PM   #36
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Sorry.

I am truly sorry to hear your story, Iris. Take good care of yourself.

I used to be underweight until the 10th grade or so...then I started to get a big ass. LOL
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Old 10-13-2002, 04:45 PM   #37
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I hate the way society/advertising/popular culture/whatever makes normal-sized women and girls so ing insecure about their appearance. One of my co-workers is always making comments about how "skinny" I am and how she needs to lose weight - but guess what? She doesn't look that much heavier than me! I don't think there's anything wrong with her figure. I think she looks fantastic for someone over 50 (she looks more like she's 40). And she's also a good inch or two taller than me, so wouldn't you kind of expect her to weigh a few pounds more? Anyway, I keep telling her she looks fine, but of course she doesn't believe me.

I'm sorry all of you who posted about people giving you a hard time about your weight had to put up with that crap. It really makes me angry.
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Old 10-13-2002, 05:45 PM   #38
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To all the girls here who think they have weight problems, what did you think about U2's Song "Big Girls Are The Best" ?

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