Why Must One Find A Mate? - Page 4

majxtc · 09-27-2001, 08:40 PM

Trash Can,

Thanks for starting the post. It a good question to be discussed and explored. I appreciated reading all the posts - even if it did dredge up some insecurities that tend to haunt me more often than not.

I posted a poem on the Dream Out Loud forum back in June that was about how life is - living on with out her, yet in another way, constantly having her with me atleast at a subconscious level. At times, I seem to have the strength to �walk on�, but at other times, I definitely seem to get �stuck in a moment and I can�t get out of it�.

Thanks for your kind words. I know that gratitute is truly essential. Sarah Mclaughlin tells us to �weep not for the memories� and I am very grateful for them, yet I still think of another song by Christian country sing, Julie Miller, saying

i still cry sometimes when I remember you,
i still cry sometimes when I hear your name,
i said goodbye and i know you�re alright now,
but when the leaves start falling down i still cry.

It has felt like fall here in Michigan this week. In a week or so, I�ll be more used to it, and I will rise up with a song singing �meet your new road�, but even then, I bet I will still be battling with these stupid little fruit flies that just won�t go away. Thanks for youe ears and hearts!

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him - who have been called according to his purpose - to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord. (Roman 8:28)

MysteryGirl · 10-05-2001, 12:08 AM

Trash Can,

OMG, do I EVER know how you feel!! It has happened to me so many times. I like a guy and he turns up gay! Result: I have lots of male gay friends! Hah! And just last month, I found out a guy I was "in love" with back in the 1980s-- and whom I met at CHURCH -- is gay...and he didn't realize he was gay until Jan. 2000! HUH!?!??

Martha...gawd...bunions!? I had a bunionectomy in the summer (plus a bone removed under my ankle, same foot) last June. And they'll be doing the other foot in the Fall. EEEEK!!

------------------
"You're dangerous...'cause you're honest"

Like O2 · 10-26-2001, 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Trash Can:

At present, I am desperately trying to end a "friendship" with a married woman, because I CANNOT be "friends". Not with her, or any other kind and caring woman out there. It sucks, but I instantly slide into that damned "needy" mode whenever I encounter a person like this. Sucks for me, huh???

How'd this turn out? Have you found a mean and inconsiderate woman yet?

Hope you're okay, Trash.

Ana · 10-27-2001, 03:04 AM

I agree we must feel complete for ourselves. But needing a person to complete you, means sometimes you want to experience new things that you couldn't do by or for yourself.

The other person shows you another world you like and you want to be part of. And the great thing about it is that you don't have to change the real you to experience it

Hope I made that clear, because writing in english sometimes is a big deal for me...

------------------
I'm hanging on
you're all that's left to hold on to...
I'm still waiting...

**Diemen** · 10-28-2001, 01:51 AM

I'll post it again:

A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we're pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we're safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we're two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we've found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.
-Richard Bach, The Bridge Across Forever

This is the best explanation I can come up with for the original question. We don't necessarily need a mate to complete us, but that other person might allow us to finally be who we truly are inside - with no false pretenses, no masks, and no need to hide anything anymore. When we can be with another person and just be "completely and honestly who we are" without feeling any discomfort, than that's a sign that we're complete as individuals.

So maybe it's not "You complete me," but "You let me be complete."

Peaseblossom · 10-29-2001, 01:17 PM

Well said, Diemen.

I've also had to realize that a "soulmate" may not be the person you'll be romantically linked with for life, but simply someone you're spiritually connected with. But who knows, that might just change.

Chickles · 10-29-2001, 01:35 PM

What is the thing with winona ryder? really what is it?

09-27-2001, 08:40 PM	#61
majxtc The Fly Join Date: May 2001 Location: Royal Oak, MI USA Posts: 36 Local Time: 10:29 AM	Trash Can, Thanks for starting the post. It a good question to be discussed and explored. I appreciated reading all the posts - even if it did dredge up some insecurities that tend to haunt me more often than not. I posted a poem on the Dream Out Loud forum back in June that was about how life is - living on with out her, yet in another way, constantly having her with me atleast at a subconscious level. At times, I seem to have the strength to �walk on�, but at other times, I definitely seem to get �stuck in a moment and I can�t get out of it�. Thanks for your kind words. I know that gratitute is truly essential. Sarah Mclaughlin tells us to �weep not for the memories� and I am very grateful for them, yet I still think of another song by Christian country sing, Julie Miller, saying i still cry sometimes when I remember you, i still cry sometimes when I hear your name, i said goodbye and i know you�re alright now, but when the leaves start falling down i still cry. It has felt like fall here in Michigan this week. In a week or so, I�ll be more used to it, and I will rise up with a song singing �meet your new road�, but even then, I bet I will still be battling with these stupid little fruit flies that just won�t go away. Thanks for youe ears and hearts! And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him - who have been called according to his purpose - to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord. (Roman 8:28) __________________

10-05-2001, 12:08 AM	#62
MysteryGirl The Fly Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Nashville, TN USA Posts: 259 Local Time: 10:29 AM	Trash Can, OMG, do I EVER know how you feel!! It has happened to me so many times. I like a guy and he turns up gay! Result: I have lots of male gay friends! Hah! And just last month, I found out a guy I was "in love" with back in the 1980s-- and whom I met at CHURCH -- is gay...and he didn't realize he was gay until Jan. 2000! HUH!?!?? Martha...gawd...bunions!? I had a bunionectomy in the summer (plus a bone removed under my ankle, same foot) last June. And they'll be doing the other foot in the Fall. EEEEK!! ------------------ "You're dangerous...'cause you're honest" __________________

10-29-2001, 01:35 PM	#67
Chickles The Fly Join Date: May 2001 Location: Montreal, Canada Posts: 33 Local Time: 10:29 AM	What is the thing with winona ryder? really what is it? __________________

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10-27-2001, 03:04 AM	#64
Ana Rock n' Roll Doggie Band-aid Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Another Time, Another Place, in The Electric Co. ; behind the Shadows and Tall Trees Posts: 4,229 Local Time: 03:29 AM	I agree we must feel complete for ourselves. But needing a person to complete you, means sometimes you want to experience new things that you couldn't do by or for yourself. The other person shows you another world you like and you want to be part of. And the great thing about it is that you don't have to change the real you to experience it Hope I made that clear, because writing in english sometimes is a big deal for me... ------------------ I'm hanging on you're all that's left to hold on to... I'm still waiting...

10-28-2001, 01:51 AM	#65
Diemen Resident Photo Buff Forum Moderator Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Somewhere in middle America Posts: 13,690 Local Time: 05:29 AM	I'll post it again: A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we're pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we're safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we're two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we've found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life. -Richard Bach, The Bridge Across Forever This is the best explanation I can come up with for the original question. We don't necessarily need a mate to complete us, but that other person might allow us to finally be who we truly are inside - with no false pretenses, no masks, and no need to hide anything anymore. When we can be with another person and just be "completely and honestly who we are" without feeling any discomfort, than that's a sign that we're complete as individuals. So maybe it's not "You complete me," but "You let me be complete."

10-29-2001, 01:17 PM	#66
Peaseblossom War Child Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Laker Country Posts: 576 Local Time: 10:29 AM	Well said, Diemen. I've also had to realize that a "soulmate" may not be the person you'll be romantically linked with for life, but simply someone you're spiritually connected with. But who knows, that might just change.