Who is teaching our kids about sex?

[BVS]

PHILADELPHIA - Teens who pledge to remain virgins until marriage have the same rates of sexually transmitted diseases as those who don?t pledge abstinence, according to a study that examined the sex lives of 12,000 adolescents.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4485691/

 

[melon]

?99 percent of non-pledgers and 88 percent of pledgers have sex before marriage.

I do think we have to admit the reality. While it may be important to mention abstinence, one must prepare for the reality that it, statistically, won't happen.

Having people prepare for reality, while hoping for an ideal, is common sense.

Melon

 

[Moonlit_Angel]

?99 percent of non-pledgers and 88 percent of pledgers have sex before marriage.

I do think we have to admit the reality. While it may be important to mention abstinence, one must prepare for the reality that it, statistically, won't happen.

Having people prepare for reality, while hoping for an ideal, is common sense.

Melon

.

Angela

 

[najeena]

Bush wants sex education in schools to address abstinence, nothing else. Let's take our society backward, shall we?

 

[Liesje]

I think my school did pretty well with sex-ed. In 5th grade, we learned about the body and had one unit on sex and reproduction. After the lessons, all the boys went to the male teacher for discussion, and all the girls went to the female teacher. Dunno what the boys did, but us girls talked about a lot and asked a lot of personal questions not covered in the lecture. It's also common knowledge in the school system I was in that the parents talk to their kids extensively at this point. We didn't have to bring books home or anything; my mom asked me if I understood everything and told me to come to her with any questions and that was that.

Then in 8th grade we had a class that focused more on sex, STDs, teenage pregnancy, all that stuff. We had special speakers come in a talk and answer questions. If we had a question we thought was too embarasing, we'd hand them in at the beginning without our names.

I went to a Christian school so of course the stress is on abstainence, but we covered all the STDs and various methods of prevention.

Personally, I'm not sure how I'd feel about sex ed classes that had kids practice putting condoms on bananas and stuff like that. I mean, if you need a class lesson to figure out how to use a condom, you should probably be a) discussing that with your parents or b) not having sex if you're not prepared.

Sometimes I'm embarrassed to be a teen ager because of the poor choices and lack of accountability and responsibility some of us have (I'm not saying we shouldn't have sex, but we shouldn't do it b/c of pressure, and if we've got STDs go to the clinic and deal with it before sleeping with three other people, etc). Poor choices of teenagers and lack of parental involvement I feel are just as big of issues as sex ed in school.

 

[Angela Harlem]

I'm not sure how I feel about sex-ed in schools. I think it's a necessity for those students who either don't have parents which take any interest, any number of kids from broken homes where this is sometimes forgotten about, kids of parents who are unable for whatever reason to do this education themselves, even the few who might be in a position where they wish to become sexually active but for whatever reason cannot approach their parents or any other adult figure to get the facts.
Too many parents out there need education on educating their kids.

 

[BVS]

I'm not sure how I feel about sex-ed in schools. I think it's a necessity for those students who either don't have parents which take any interest, any number of kids from broken homes where this is sometimes forgotten about, kids of parents who are unable for whatever reason to do this education themselves, even the few who might be in a position where they wish to become sexually active but for whatever reason cannot approach their parents or any other adult figure to get the facts.
Too many parents out there need education on educating their kids.

I agree there are a lot that really need a class on how to be parents.

But I think sex ed in the classroom is an excellent idea. I had the same program as Lies, one in fifth and one in eighth grade.

I think it's a great way for the parents to engage the child in discussion. I know people who are great parents but they may not know when or how to engage the child in discussion. The school warns the parents ahead of time when these classes will take place and send brochures home to the parents. This way the parent can engage their child in discussion and they know the majority of their peers are get taught this at the same time.

Personally I never got the talk, I have great parents but extremely prude and hesitant to talk to me directly about sex. I had the class in 5th grade, a little from the church (abstinence for the most part), and my mom handed me a 6 cassette tape serious from Dr. Dobson...I got through 3. So my education was slight and my parents still don't talk sex, even though I'm 29 and have been married. But somehow I made it through alright, but I think I'm one of the lucky ones. I pretty much used the abstinence method until I thought I was ready and then educated myself.

I know I'm lucky and this is one of the reasons I'm a big supporter of sex education programs. I still think parents should teach their children about sex, but in this conservative society there are way too many people out there like my parents. Extremely good parents, but somehow they are embarassed or believe that teaching their child about sex somehow gives them permission to have sex, or just don't know when or how to start. These programs can act as a supplement and a stimulus to a parents teaching. Abstinence only programs just don't work. I've seen too many, just from my hometown alone, who grew up in church youth groups who taught abstinence only and were having kids before 20.

 

[ILuvLarryMullen]

I don't see what the big deal about having sex ed in schools is. Parents always are always informed ahead of time and have to give consent. If you don't want your kids to be taught about sex at school, don't sign the consent form, it's that simple, why should that opportunity be taken away from other children whose parents want them to have it?

I received sex ed in school very similar to the curriculm of livluv's and it didn't encourage me to go out and have sex, if anything it make me think more about the consequences of doing it which and made me want to wait until i was older.

All I know I was the last group of kids to have sex ed in my district (even in 5th grade, which consisted only of talk about puberty and nothing about sex at all), and it seems like kids after that started having sex even younger, and didn't view oral sex as sex or knew that you could get diseases from it.

 

[Liesje]

I'd be uncomfortable with sex ed earlier than fourth or fifth grade. If kids are having sex when they're 9 and 10, I think the fault should lie entirely with the parents and not the school. Tuition is expensive and I'm sure my parents would've put up a stink if I was being taught about sex when I was 9 instead of learning to read and write. I don't have a problem with sex ed in schools in general, especially programs like I had where when you're younger you learn the basics and when your a few years older and starting to date, you learn about the STDs, relationships, and protection.

 

[Moonlit_Angel]

I'd be uncomfortable with sex ed earlier than fourth or fifth grade. If kids are having sex when they're 9 and 10, I think the fault should lie entirely with the parents and not the school. Tuition is expensive and I'm sure my parents would've put up a stink if I was being taught about sex when I was 9 instead of learning to read and write. I don't have a problem with sex ed in schools in general, especially programs like I had where when you're younger you learn the basics and when your a few years older and starting to date, you learn about the STDs, relationships, and protection.

Exactly. That's how my schools did it, too.

Ditto ILuvLarryMullen's post, too.

Angela

 

[fah]

Children need to learn about their sexual health if for no other reason an informed child is less likely to be the victim of a sexual predator. Knowledge in protection.

 

[Angela Harlem]

fah if you dont mind my asking, what do you mean by the above? There seems to be a couple of ways to read into it and I dont want to assume.

 

[fah]

Children who are taught about their bodies learn and know the difference between good and bad touching, language and situations. Children need to be taught about their bodies so that they cannot be taken advantage of. I started at a very early age with my children. We use the proper names for body parts (eg breasts not boobs). I have explained appropriate and inappropriate touching.

Children who are aware of their bodies will say 'no' to bad touching if they have been taught to say 'no'. As a parent it is my responsibility to teach my child to say 'no'.

My favourite book on sex ed is by a woman named Meg Hickling, in it she talks about knowledge and how it protects children. In one part she writes of going to prisons and speaking to offenders and how they became skilled at what they do. To paraphrase kids who know appropriate sexual vocabulary show that they have been educated about their bodies and are more likely to tell an adult if something bad has happened. Kids who don't know - don't tell. These offenders are looking for kids who don't know and wont tell.

Hope this helps, sorry if I was too vague before