Where's Dreadsox? An FYM Mystery Game!

[pax]

As some of you may have noticed, one of our most beloved post-ers here at FYM, Dreadsox, has turned up missing. Some of you may know the truth as to where he has gone. Some of you may not care. But as FYMers, we all have one thing in common: We have NO lives.

So here's a little game to keep you all busy and thinking: Where has Dread gone, and why? Post your best explanation, in 100 words or less, in this thread. The winner for the best story (fake replies only, please...true suggestions will be deleted) will be announced when Dread comes back (if he does...muahahahaha) and will receive a prize to be determined by Dread and team of randomly selected (and drunk) FYM moderators.

Go to it, kiddies!

 

[Klaus]

He's imprisoned by the Department of Homeland Security because of his antibushistic activities in FYM - you can visit him in Guantanamo Bay

Klaus

 

[verte76]

He got lost looking for a key to the Hall of Conservative Republican Orthodoxy. He wanted to go in there to give them a piece of his free mind.

 

[anitram]

After singing ABBA's Fernando for me over and over again, Dreadsox realized that he is perfectly suited for singing mediocre pop tunes and is currently chasing Clay Aiken around the country, vying for a spot as a back up singer on his album. Among other songs, they will cover John Mellencamp's "Little Pink Houses", thus resulting in GWB asking them to use the song in his re-election campaign. Stay tuned for their answer!

 

[sulawesigirl4]

as a mod, I suppose I am inelegible, but my guess is that he's en route to Vermont to join Howard Dean's campaign.

 

[pax]

Mods can play too, it doesn't matter. We're all going to get good and ripped to pick the winner anyway.

 

[bonosloveslave]

I got tired of his trash-talking so he's locked up in my basement forced to listen to Engelbert Humperdinck.....




'Til I say so

 

[Angela Harlem]

Dread has come to an unfortunate end. After mistaking one too many people on AIM for the lovely Mrs Dread, she has infact whisked him away to Majorca where he is safe from extradition attempts. He has no net connection there, but has plenty of swimming pools to choose from to sit around drinking cocktails with fancy straws.

 

[melon]

He's busy having a makeover on the new Bravo network series, "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" (article).



Melon

 

[theSoulfulMofo]

He's a fugitive on the run from the enforcers of the Patriot Act... Notably, there are Homeland Security spies posing as FYMers... and of course, why wouldn't there be government spies here?

 

[Bonochick]

Mods can play too, it doesn't matter. We're all going to get good and ripped to pick the winner anyway.

Any excuse to do that.

 

[Angela Harlem]

Pax, he may actually be just distributing the "Life Improvement Tool #5" to interested and not so interested parties.

 

[Anthony]

Well, you see, I killed him off.

Its true, its true. He was getting tedious, and his contribution as a character in my novel was becoming increasingly minimal, so, I did what every self-respecting writer would do - kill off the spare characters. I am sorry, truly I am, if I had known that my novel was somehow in charge of the intricacies and mechanics of the workings of the universe, I would have hesitated; I would have given him a slower death than being run over by a bunch of man-eating rhinos wearing tulip-hats.

But, you see, he had to go. I am sorry, the real Dreadsox's presence will be really, sorely missed, however, I was unaware of my power and strength. Who knew that my literary actions would have real-life consequences?

This age of post-modernism is truly, overwhelmingly evil.



Ant. Who Shall Never, Ever, Write Again.

 

[pax]

Pax, he may actually be just distributing the "Life Improvement Tool #5" to interested and not so interested parties.

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

I think he dressed up in one of those sausage outfits and went down to Fenway Park

A guy on the Red Sox, I think it was Manny Ramirez, whacked him w/ a bat, and he hasn't been seen since

 

[80sU2isBest]

After singing ABBA's Fernando for me over and over again, Dreadsox realized that he is perfectly suited for singing mediocre pop tunes

Allow me to derail this poll for one second

There is nothing "mediocre" about Fernando. Benny Andersson (music writer of ABBA) is a music genius who writes very complex musical arrangements.

Just had to get that off my chest.

Okay, everyone back on the train...

 

[pax]

I have to agree. Abba Gold is a very fine collection of 70s and 80s pop tunes, and I have long considered "Dancing Queen" to be my personal theme song. And I LOVE U2's live cover of it, too.

So, 80s...Where's Dread?

 

[FizzingWhizzbees]

Nice post, 80s.

 

[anitram]

LOL, 80s, to each his own (ie. no way is 80sU2 better than 90sU2 ). I personally prefer Waterloo.

 

[bonosloveslave]

Take A Chance On Me

 

[80sU2isBest]

I think Dreadsox is in Sweden, getting me a date with Agnetha, the blonde singer from ABBA.

 

[zonelistener]

In the library - with the candlestick.

 

[RavenStar]

He was visiting Toronto to protest the recent cuts to the arts in schools. He got SARS. I was there when it happened too. He now has to be quarinteened *sp?) for 10 days in my basement. OF course there are 2 comp with net acess here but I though I would chain him to a wall. Just so you lot know for the future, he makes a lousy sex slave.

 

[pax]

Does Mrs. Dread know about this?!

 

[RavenStar]

Shhhhhhh
Lets keep this in FYM
hehe

 

[ouizy]

I believe he is in his basement writing his manefesto.

It will be written in red white and blue ink.

 

[pax]

Well, a little birdie told me today that Dreadsy is back in town, so we might see him here in FYM in the near future.

Then maybe he can explain himself.

 

[Dreadsox]

He's imprisoned by the Department of Homeland Security because of his antibushistic activities in FYM - you can visit him in Guantanamo Bay

Klaus

While I was questioned by the Department of Homeland Security about my anti-Bush activities, and my recent resignation from the Republican Party, I did not get the vacation to Cuba that I thought they were offering me. Instead they sent me to New Jersey.

 

[Dreadsox]

He got lost looking for a key to the Hall of Conservative Republican Orthodoxy. He wanted to go in there to give them a piece of his free mind.

I did intend to visit this hallowed ground, but after one full weel of searching for the key, my wife said "If you cannot remember where you put this key, do you really think you can spare a piece of your mind?"

 

[Dreadsox]

After singing ABBA's Fernando for me over and over again, Dreadsox realized that he is perfectly suited for singing mediocre pop tunes and is currently chasing Clay Aiken around the country, vying for a spot as a back up singer on his album. Among other songs, they will cover John Mellencamp's "Little Pink Houses", thus resulting in GWB asking them to use the song in his re-election campaign. Stay tuned for their answer!

Anitram my dear, what a night that was. It meant a lot to me too...serenading you into the wee hours of the morning. But I digress....

Clay and I did indeed hit it off. He is interested in taking me on tour with him however, they want me off stage. It seems that GERIATRIC IDOL is not the immage they were looking for. I follow the American Idol in my mini van, and sing behind a curtain.

However, Mr. Bush saw how Fleetwood Mac helped President Clinton out almost a decade a go and has personally asked that we sing "Little Lies" instead of that "crap" from Meloncramps.