What's better......

WildHonee · 01-25-2002, 08:32 PM

To have loved and lost?

Or to never have loved at all?

If someone knows the answer -- and knows why -- I'd sure as heck like to know it.

------------------
~*Mona*~
"I think I just said I was smart there - I'm sorry about that." ~BONO~

LOVE me, give me SOUL

O YEAH YEAH YEAH...

adam's_mistress · 01-25-2002, 08:45 PM

Depends on the individual. I'd have to say it's better to have loved and lost, because even though it's painful, in doing so you gain experience - and to a degree, some wisdom on the matter.

WildHonee · 01-25-2002, 08:49 PM

Gr. I don't want wisdom. I want...well....I can't say the name. Humbug.

------------------
~*Mona*~
"I think I just said I was smart there - I'm sorry about that." ~BONO~

LOVE me, give me SOUL

O YEAH YEAH YEAH...

Mrs. Edge · 01-25-2002, 09:06 PM

Loved and lost...by a long shot!! No matter how dismally painful a relationship might be when it ends, usually the ecstatic memories of what was wonderful about it will last forever.

I concur with Adam's Mistress. Usually you take something with you that makes you a wiser and better person. It's character building!!!

WildHonee · 01-25-2002, 09:11 PM

K. I'll just keep telling myself I guess.

------------------
~*Mona*~
"I think I just said I was smart there - I'm sorry about that." ~BONO~

LOVE me, give me SOUL

O YEAH YEAH YEAH...

Discoteque · 01-25-2002, 10:08 PM

I'm with Adam's Mistress and Mrs. E - better to have loved and lost and to have gained insight and wisdom in the process, painful tho it may have been....besides, I found that after enough time has passed, the weird thing is, I tend to not even remember the bad things, only the good things....so Mona, can you answer what *that* is for me?

WildHonee · 01-25-2002, 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Discoteque:
I'm with Adam's Mistress and Mrs. E - better to have loved and lost and to have gained insight and wisdom in the process, painful tho it may have been....besides, I found that after enough time has passed, the weird thing is, I tend to not even remember the bad things, only the good things....so Mona, can you answer what *that* is for me?

What "that?"
Ah, Disco, we miss you, BTW

Oh...interference needs a venting / lamentation station.

How do you make ppl understand that you can't control just who it is you fall in love with? Is it even possible to have been in love by this age, I should ask.

------------------
~*Mona*~
"I think I just said I was smart there - I'm sorry about that." ~BONO~

LOVE me, give me SOUL

O YEAH YEAH YEAH...

**Diemen** · 01-26-2002, 02:38 AM

Loved and lost by far.

Yes, it's painful, heartwrenching and frustrating, but with time you gain much wisdom from it, and ideally (the way it's supposed to work anyway), you learn to change some things and approach things differently/better the next time around.

I couldn't imagine what my life would be like if I'd never have loved at all. I'd be a thin shell of the person I am today, that's for sure. Love itself causes no pain. It's the circumstances around it that might.

CannibalisticArtist · 01-26-2002, 02:45 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by WildHonee:
To have loved and lost?

Or to never have loved at all?

If someone knows the answer -- and knows why -- I'd sure as heck like to know it.

IMO, never have loved at all. it's like saying which is better: getting hooked on coke and then kicking the addiction, or not haven taken it at all.
love has been compared to a drug before.

Lemonite · 01-26-2002, 02:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by WildHonee:
Gr. I don't want wisdom. I want...well....I can't say the name. Humbug.

Ahhh. It's ok.. WE all know that it's our Dear Dr. Gonz... Have no fear.. He's a pretty hot guy I hear.. although He's married apparently to the resident kndanandndnadandndna ...

Off to sleep,
L Yunplugged

zooropamanda · 01-26-2002, 05:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Diemen:
Love itself causes no pain. It's the circumstances around it that might.

This is an excellent point.

At the time you're feeling the pain from the loss, you may not think its worth it, but in the end, if you truly have loved, you wouldn't want that to never have happened.
True love is always worth it, no matter how bad.
For me, i dont really care about the wisdom or experience ive gained, I think about the wonderful memories and what ive actually been able to give and have received.

Don't ever wish you'd never loved just because it hurts. We are supposed to hurt to understand how special it is and how lucky we were.

Broken Hearts are worth bearing, for it means u are one of the lucky ones.

Angela Harlem · 01-26-2002, 06:17 AM

I think there's a lot of truth in the post I put in DOL a few weeks back. We may not like it cos it hurts, but they were wise nonetheless.

bono-vox · 01-26-2002, 08:04 AM

loved and lost....thats just my opinion though

Anthony · 01-26-2002, 11:57 AM

Truly WildHonee, it is far better to have loved and lost, to be given a scar for losing; such a scar is one of the things that makes us human.

I think I am safe to say that I know about loving and losing, and if I had never met my fiance, I wouldn't have known what it was to live. She made me so happy, so happy I didn't know I could be so happy.

I would choose losing her everyday than never knowing her.

Ant.

melon · 01-26-2002, 12:12 PM

Well, a better question to ask would be if you prefer to have life experience or if you prefer ignorance? The former satisfies curiousity and the latter fosters regret.

Hence, it is better to have loved and lost, because the worst feeling is that "what if?" that will inevitably come if you've never loved at all.

Melon

------------------
"He had lived through an age when men and women with energy and ruthlessness but without much ability or persistence excelled. And even though most of them had gone under, their ignorance had confused Roy, making him wonder whether the things he had striven to learn, and thought of as 'culture,' were irrelevant. Everything was supposed to be the same: commercials, Beethoven's late quartets, pop records, shopfronts, Freud, multi-coloured hair. Greatness, comparison, value, depth: gone, gone, gone. Anything could give some pleasure; he saw that. But not everything provided the sustenance of a deeper understanding." - Hanif Kureishi, Love in a Blue Time

hippy · 01-26-2002, 12:51 PM

First point:

Loved and lost, no questions. A very wise man once said, "All you need is love." And it's true. And without it, as others have already stated, a major part of life is missing and you go through a "what if" period.

Second point:

Quote:

Originally posted by WildHonee:
Is it even possible to have been in love by this age, I should ask.

I have been in love and I am only 19. It is definitely possible. Love knows no age barriers, although society imposes barriers for some things. So yes, if you think you've been in love, then you have. Don't let anyone tell you that you're not.

(((((Mona))))))
Feel free to lament and complain to me anytime, hon...my ears and heart are always open: hippyactress@hotmail.com, AIM: hippyactress, MSN: hippyactress@hotmail.com

------------------
And love is not the easy thing...the only baggage you can bring is all that you can't leave behind.

BONO: FOAD, Lawrence. Just FOAD. (LOL, Mona)

Create Light, Create Unity, Create Joy, CREATE PEACE!

WildHonee · 01-26-2002, 03:59 PM

Thanks to everyone for your thoughts, BTW.

------------------
~*Mona*~
"I think I just said I was smart there - I'm sorry about that." ~BONO~

LOVE me, give me SOUL

O YEAH YEAH YEAH...

elizabeth · 01-26-2002, 04:31 PM

Mona,

I agree with Hippy 100%.

First, love and lost is always better.

Second, it doesn't matter what your age is. People feel intense emotions at EVERY age, so don't think that your age disqualifies you for some reason.

((HUGS))

WildHonee · 01-27-2002, 02:04 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Anthony:
I would choose losing her everyday than never knowing her.

Ah..that reminds me of "A.I." I love that movie

------------------
~*Mona*~
"I think I just said I was smart there - I'm sorry about that." ~BONO~

LOVE me, give me SOUL

O YEAH YEAH YEAH...

01-25-2002, 08:32 PM	#1
WildHonee Mr. MacPhisto's Loo Cleaner Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: THE SOUL Posts: 6,870 Local Time: 11:30 AM	What's better...... To have loved and lost? Or to never have loved at all? If someone knows the answer -- and knows why -- I'd sure as heck like to know it. ------------------ *~Mona~* "I think I just said I was smart there - I'm sorry about that." ~BONO~ LOVE me, give me SOUL O YEAH YEAH YEAH... __________________

01-25-2002, 08:45 PM	#2
adam's_mistress Acrobat Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Queen Lurker Posts: 323 Local Time: 04:30 PM	Depends on the individual. I'd have to say it's better to have loved and lost, because even though it's painful, in doing so you gain experience - and to a degree, some wisdom on the matter. __________________

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01-25-2002, 08:49 PM	#3
WildHonee Mr. MacPhisto's Loo Cleaner Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: THE SOUL Posts: 6,870 Local Time: 11:30 AM	Gr. I don't want wisdom. I want...well....I can't say the name. Humbug. ------------------ *~Mona~* "I think I just said I was smart there - I'm sorry about that." ~BONO~ LOVE me, give me SOUL O YEAH YEAH YEAH...

01-25-2002, 09:06 PM	#4
Mrs. Edge Bono's Belly Dancing Friend Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Torontonian in Maryland Posts: 2,913 Local Time: 11:30 AM	Loved and lost...by a long shot!! No matter how dismally painful a relationship might be when it ends, usually the ecstatic memories of what was wonderful about it will last forever. I concur with Adam's Mistress. Usually you take something with you that makes you a wiser and better person. It's character building!!!

01-25-2002, 09:11 PM	#5
WildHonee Mr. MacPhisto's Loo Cleaner Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: THE SOUL Posts: 6,870 Local Time: 11:30 AM	K. I'll just keep telling myself I guess. ------------------ *~Mona~* "I think I just said I was smart there - I'm sorry about that." ~BONO~ LOVE me, give me SOUL O YEAH YEAH YEAH...

01-25-2002, 10:08 PM	#6
Discoteque Rock n' Roll Doggie Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Hotter 'n' hell Texas: Dallas Posts: 3,568 Local Time: 11:30 AM	I'm with Adam's Mistress and Mrs. E - better to have loved and lost and to have gained insight and wisdom in the process, painful tho it may have been....besides, I found that after enough time has passed, the weird thing is, I tend to not even remember the bad things, only the good things....so Mona, can you answer what that is for me?

01-26-2002, 02:38 AM	#8
Diemen Resident Photo Buff Forum Moderator Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Somewhere in middle America Posts: 13,687 Local Time: 11:30 AM	Loved and lost by far. Yes, it's painful, heartwrenching and frustrating, but with time you gain much wisdom from it, and ideally (the way it's supposed to work anyway), you learn to change some things and approach things differently/better the next time around. I couldn't imagine what my life would be like if I'd never have loved at all. I'd be a thin shell of the person I am today, that's for sure. Love itself causes no pain. It's the circumstances around it that might.

01-26-2002, 06:17 AM	#12
Angela Harlem Jesus Online Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: a glass castle Posts: 30,163 Local Time: 03:30 AM	I think there's a lot of truth in the post I put in DOL a few weeks back. We may not like it cos it hurts, but they were wise nonetheless.

01-26-2002, 08:04 AM	#13
bono-vox Rock n' Roll Doggie Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: maze of your imagination, where the streets have no name, lol Posts: 3,436 Local Time: 02:30 AM	loved and lost....thats just my opinion though

01-26-2002, 11:57 AM	#14
Anthony Refugee Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: London, UK Posts: 1,538 Local Time: 04:30 PM	Truly WildHonee, it is far better to have loved and lost, to be given a scar for losing; such a scar is one of the things that makes us human. I think I am safe to say that I know about loving and losing, and if I had never met my fiance, I wouldn't have known what it was to live. She made me so happy, so happy I didn't know I could be so happy. I would choose losing her everyday than never knowing her. Ant.

01-26-2002, 12:12 PM	#15
melon ONE love, blood, life Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Ásgarðr Posts: 11,789 Local Time: 12:30 PM	Well, a better question to ask would be if you prefer to have life experience or if you prefer ignorance? The former satisfies curiousity and the latter fosters regret. Hence, it is better to have loved and lost, because the worst feeling is that "what if?" that will inevitably come if you've never loved at all. Melon ------------------ "He had lived through an age when men and women with energy and ruthlessness but without much ability or persistence excelled. And even though most of them had gone under, their ignorance had confused Roy, making him wonder whether the things he had striven to learn, and thought of as 'culture,' were irrelevant. Everything was supposed to be the same: commercials, Beethoven's late quartets, pop records, shopfronts, Freud, multi-coloured hair. Greatness, comparison, value, depth: gone, gone, gone. Anything could give some pleasure; he saw that. But not everything provided the sustenance of a deeper understanding." - Hanif Kureishi, Love in a Blue Time

01-26-2002, 03:59 PM	#17
WildHonee Mr. MacPhisto's Loo Cleaner Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: THE SOUL Posts: 6,870 Local Time: 11:30 AM	Thanks to everyone for your thoughts, BTW. ------------------ *~Mona~* "I think I just said I was smart there - I'm sorry about that." ~BONO~ LOVE me, give me SOUL O YEAH YEAH YEAH...

01-26-2002, 04:31 PM	#18
elizabeth New Yorker Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: PANTSburgh, PA Posts: 3,046 Local Time: 11:30 AM	Mona, I agree with Hippy 100%. First, love and lost is always better. Second, it doesn't matter what your age is. People feel intense emotions at EVERY age, so don't think that your age disqualifies you for some reason. ((HUGS))