The Secret To Being Married For 80 Years

[melon]

Was the "fuck America" really necessary, melon? We all know your feelings on the subject, but your relentless and increasingly reckless bitterness towards just about everyone here is really not adding anything to the environment of constructive criticism and open debate.

For the record, I'm bitter towards one subject and "America" is a non-living entity.

But, for the record, I apologize. Let the constructive criticism and open debate continue, and I'll leave this thread alone.

Melon

 

[verte76]

That's cool. We get pelted with stories about celebrities' divorces all the time. This is a refreshing change!

 

[the soul waits]

gee, must be nice.

Irvine, I know you're bothered with not being able to get married in the USA, but is this "poor me"-attitude really gonna help things?
You know, i have no doubt about it, that what makes a marriage "happy" is NOT achieved because of the paper they signed, but because of the way the 2 people work together as a team and all that comes along with that.

The "form" of a marriage may be out of your reach for the time-being, but surely, the "content" is not.

 

[Irvine511]

Irvine, I know you're bothered with not being able to get married in the USA, but is this "poor me"-attitude really gonna help things?
You know, i have no doubt about it, that what makes a marriage "happy" is NOT achieved because of the paper they signed, but because of the way the 2 people work together as a team and all that comes along with that.

The "form" of a marriage may be out of your reach for the time-being, but surely, the "content" is not.

i'm just saying that being in a happy marriage for 80 years must be a very nice thing and probably has something to do with being able to live to be 100 years old.

 

[Palace_Hero]

And she fakes it. Percy can't tell..

 

[pax]

Okay, that's really enough. FYM is a place for serious discussion and debate. That's not to say there's never a time for joking around, but we are trying to have a good discussion in this thread.

Thanks.

 

[Muggsy]

I decided not to get married **never** cuz I've seen a lot of couples that can't stay married a month ... and I don't wanna live that. So it is cool to see that a few can stay toguether and have a nice relationship.

 

[coemgen]

You shouldn't let other people's mistakes direct your life Muggsy. I'm sure you're capable of being a part of a successful, committed marriage.
Divorce happens so often because people either get married for the wrong reasons and/or they're not truly committed. They don't want to work for it. It's sad.

 

[indra]

Was the "fuck America" really necessary, melon? We all know your feelings on the subject, but your relentless and increasingly reckless bitterness towards just about everyone here is really not adding anything to the environment of constructive criticism and open debate.

This is a debate and discussion forum, I see no reason why someone not permitted to partake in many aspects of society that most of us take for granted is expected to be anything but bitter. I find it interesting how many of us "know" melon's feelings on the subject, but don't give a shit enough about his feelings to realise that a thread such as this can be incredibly painful to him as it very acutely points out to him exactly what we, as a society, have denied him.

So I imagine this isn't a "happy thread" at all for him (or Irvine and many others on this board), and if it's rude for melon or irvine to state their disgust they are unable to ever partake in marriage, it is equally rude that we, the majority who can partake, don't want our happy little thread derailled by someone elses pain.

 

[pax]

The only thing I had a problem with was the "fuck America" part. Believe me, I do know how melon, irvine, and other gay post-ers here feel on the subject, and I hope I see the day on which the fight for equal marriage rights in this country is won by gay persons who wish to be married, and their friends and supporters. To suggest that I do not have empathy for them is really somewhat unfair, considering how vociferously I have defended gay marriage and gay people in general in FYM.

All I suggested was that statements like "fuck America" don't help to create an atmosphere conducive to fair, intelligent debate.

That is all.

 

[Irvine511]

i think it's clear that marriage, when it works (and it does take work) is a wonderful thing for individuals and society.

we all benefit from stability in our lives, even to the point where some of us might live to see 100 years old.

let's celebrate marriage -- in its best form, it's a wonderful thing.

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

For the record, I think I "give a shit enough" about melon's feelings. Sorry if some people think me starting this thread was insensitive I won't start any threads about marriage again.

I had only the best of intentions. I think melon might agree that I've always tended to be one of his biggest supporters around here. Same goes for Irvine.

There are MANY threads here that aren't happy for ME for different reasons, in fact once someone was so cruel to me on here that it made me cry. So there you go..yes call me a pathetic wimp for that, but it was something so personal for me.


Sorry if this sounds rude, but I'm just a little tired of even the most harmless thread being turned into some weird former version of itself. That doesn't mean I don't think melon, Irvine, or anyone else doesn't have the right to say what they feel. But I honestly do resent the implication that I or others don't give a shit about their feelings about the marriage issue. I hope they both can get married someday if that's what they want, and I hope they both get all the happiness they deserve

 

[Teta040]

Ya know, just to be OT for a sec. we have a guy like Melon on the Wire list. Sounding angry and bitter alot of the time. He's one of Wire's founding members in fact (since 1996.) After 4 years of reading some of his viatrol (he isn't like that all the time, "caustic" is a better word) I finally cornered him and asked him just WHAT WAS UP with him. I was esp interested b/c he had a LOT to say about Irish politcs. He didn't reply, but a bit later it came out that he had lost a close friend or relative to an IRA bomb. So I mailed him back and told him I sympathized, etc etc, but (politely) to PLEASE not be so..um...passionate aobut your pro-Paisley views. And you know what? Becuase i was sympathetic, he DID tone down. A bit. Now he reserves his viatrol for U2's "00's work (he considers the past 2 albums to be cop-outs.

The point: we don't really know about people, any more than what they choose to tell us, so don't go making blanket judgements.Or at least, don't go atacking THEM. Melon leans towards the left-wing side of the equation most of the time (and that's and understatment, Mel --and hey, I have to admit, I share a lot of your views) and some have taken him out for that. Don't. Respect each other's views and don't attack people.

I have to say, though, Melon, that goes for you too. I HATE propaganda or blanket statements like "*#^$ America" etc. Just as i hate blanket judgements of people from the other side. SO EVERYONE: CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG???

*Ahem*.

Now, back OT....I do beleive that a happy marriage is the key to better health. Some of the time. other examples of couples who are both very much active and kicking and
all there" at an advanced age were Alec Guiness and his wife (RIP Obi-wan), who both lived into their 80's; Christopher Lee and his wife, both in their mid-80's and they may as well be 60; and Billy and Edith Graham, who aren't so hot medically but metnally theyre all there, and they're in their 80's too.

God belss the happy couple. I think that oic is the cutest thing I've ever seen (outside of that one of Bono in the Boston Barnes and Noble smiling at that baby of course.)

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

sorry pax..

Also I see nothing wrong w/ having "happy" threads here, is that really all that offensive? If it is, you don't have to read it.

I don't think anyone's interested in this thread in a place like LS, that seems to be the place for random threads where people who know each other talk to each other, there doesn't seem to be interest in anything else there and no point in posting anything else there

Does everything and anything have to involve anger, bitterness, ranting, personal insults, intellectualizing things to death, etc? So my threads aren't "intellectual" enough for some people here, sorry. Honestly this place is far too "intellectual" sometimes.

It's quite a turn off the way this place has been this week, that's for sure.

 

[financeguy]

Re: sorry pax..

Does everything and anything have to involve anger, bitterness, ranting, personal insults, intellectualizing things to death, etc? So my threads aren't "intellectual" enough for some people here, sorry. Honestly this place is far too "intellectual" sometimes.

It's quite a turn off the way this place has been this week, that's for sure.

I dunno, I don't think most people here would describe themselves as intellectuals? There are two or three regular posters who I would honestly consider to be near geniuses (no, I certainly wouldn't include myself) but I won't name them, I don't want to give anyone a swollen head!

Yes it has been a tetchy kind of week, but the mood of the place ebbs and flows I guess. It seems to have been a lot worse back in Nov 04 with the Pres election and all that.

Of course happy threads should be welcome here as well as more serious threads.

 

[pax]

Re: sorry pax..

Also I see nothing wrong w/ having "happy" threads here, is that really all that offensive? If it is, you don't have to read it.

I don't think anyone's interested in this thread in a place like LS, that seems to be the place for random threads where people who know each other talk to each other, there doesn't seem to be interest in anything else there and no point in posting anything else there

Does everything and anything have to involve anger, bitterness, ranting, personal insults, intellectualizing things to death, etc? So my threads aren't "intellectual" enough for some people here, sorry. Honestly this place is far too "intellectual" sometimes.

It's quite a turn off the way this place has been this week, that's for sure.

I know you didn't start this thread with any bad intent. I also fully support the right of melon, Irvine, and anyone else who sees the issue in this way to point out that maybe gay people could also live similarly long and happy lives were they granted access to the same marriage rights as straight people. I'll say it again--the ONLY thing I had a problem with was Melon's one comment, for which he has apologized and which I consequently no longer care about (I mean the comment itself--I do care about the fact that he apologized, as it was a stand-up thing to do).

It has been a right awful week in here, and for the life of me I don't know why. Full moon, maybe. I personally have been taking it from all sides about the moderation in here, and the only comfort I take from that is if both the lefties and the righties are mad at me, what I'm doing must fall somewhere near the middle...which was exactly my intention anyway.

But seriously...what happened? Why are we combusting (and not the PLEBA kind of combusting) all over the place here? What can I and the other mods do? What can we ALL do to improve the situation?

I'm open to suggestion.

 

[Teta040]

Geez. I don't know.

Maybe the Yanks are depressed b/c it's the end of the spring leg of the tour. (To which I'd say, If I were a non-Yank..well, at least you're getting them back!)

 

[Palace_Hero]

Okay, that's really enough. FYM is a place for serious discussion and debate. That's not to say there's never a time for joking around, but we are trying to have a good discussion in this thread.

Thanks.

This is an off-topic forum.

So if I want to slip in a couple of jokes, I will. If you want to go off on some pathetic tangent you can, and have.

Not to mention I only made two posts, your lot's ranting and raving has hit two pages now.

Was the "fuck America" really necessary, melon?

Make your mind up. You don't want jokes, you don't want serious strong views.


On my first impression of you pax, you are stuck up, an authority overlord and have no sense of humor.

Fuck America!


Good day to you!

 

[Moonlit_Angel]

Oh, boy....

If it makes ya feel any better, pax, I've been in a pretty good mood this week . I have no complaints with anyone.

Can we all just take some deep breaths and pass around a peace pipe ?

Angela

 

[starsgoblue]

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

This is an off-topic forum.

So if I want to slip in a couple of jokes, I will. If you want to go off on some pathetic tangent you can, and have.

i'm not even going to go there.

On my first impression of you pax, you are stuck up, an authority overlord and have no sense of humor.

Fuck America!

Good day to you!

you must not read too many of pax's posts then. she's a damn good mod and ALL the mods of fym try their best to not let political biases influence what gets closed. i happen to think they do a damn good job of it. did you even read pax's follow-up post in here or did you just go ahead and quote this one so you can badmouth a mod and throw in a fuck america too?

 

[Palace_Hero]

i'm not even going to go there.


you must not read too many of pax's posts then. she's a damn good mod and ALL the mods of fym try their best to not let political biases influence what gets closed. i happen to think they do a damn good job of it. did you even read pax's follow-up post in here or did you just go ahead and quote this one so you can badmouth a mod and throw in a fuck america too?

I shant be intimidated by someone's mod status.

Like I say I have not seen pax around, this is my first impression.

The 'fuck America' was a piss take, and I actually agree with the original poster of the comment that it is a statement and '"America" is a non-living entity'.

 

[Angela Harlem]

If you're going to take the piss out of America, then dont spell like an American, son.

 

[Diemen]

So you publicly insult someone and judge them based on one single post? Classy.

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

I shant be intimidated by someone's mod status.

Like I say I have not seen pax around, this is my first impression.

The 'fuck America' was a piss take, and I actually agree with the original poster of the comment that it is a statement and '"America" is a non-living entity'.

who said anything about intimidation? i said she was an excellent mod, i didn't say "pax is god bow down to her or be thrown into the volcano!"

or yeah, just read diemen's post. please don't insult anyone, mod or not, especially if it's just based on a first impression. and for the record, off-topic doesn't mean it's a free-for-all here.

 

[BonosSaint]

For the record, I think I "give a shit enough" about melon's feelings. Sorry if some people think me starting this thread was insensitive I won't start any threads about marriage again.

I had only the best of intentions. I think melon might agree that I've always tended to be one of his biggest supporters around here. Same goes for Irvine.

There are MANY threads here that aren't happy for ME for different reasons, in fact once someone was so cruel to me on here that it made me cry. So there you go..yes call me a pathetic wimp for that, but it was something so personal for me.


Sorry if this sounds rude, but I'm just a little tired of even the most harmless thread being turned into some weird former version of itself. That doesn't mean I don't think melon, Irvine, or anyone else doesn't have the right to say what they feel. But I honestly do resent the implication that I or others don't give a shit about their feelings about the marriage issue. I hope they both can get married someday if that's what they want, and I hope they both get all the happiness they deserve

I read this thread and was amazed at how quickly it disintegrated. In a forum often devoted to divisive issues (and I enjoy playing here), Mrs. Springsteen often tries to bring us some balance by bringing up a positive story or a fun topic or a wonderfully mischievous one--generally one designed to bring out some of the best in us instead of the usual vitriol. She's our peacekeeper in a state of uncivil war. She's been gentle and supportive and complimentary.

Like Mrs. S. said, there are a lot of threads opened here that can hurt a lot of people--talk about love to people who have none, talk about parents to people who have none, talk of sex to people who aren't getting any, talk of war to parents who have children in Iraq. There is always a right or a pleasure someone is being denied, either socially or personally. A lot of us just take the thread in the spirit in which it was started , enjoy it sometimes even if we aren't a beneficiary, and save our arguments for other threads.

I like Wizard's threads; they are often fanciful and playful. But I'm sure somewhere there is an elevator repairman who might take offense.

And for many of the "intellectual" threads in here, they are often duelling monologues instead of actual discussion. When it begins to go somewhere, it suddenly just dies, because the posters have made their points and have no interest in taking it further. I've learned a lot in this forum. Some of it I wish I hadn't.

 

[pax]

On my first impression of you pax, you are stuck up, an authority overlord and have no sense of humor.

Fuck America!


Good day to you!

Yes, in case anyone noticed, I am editing my original post here. My original response was, in fact, "Awwwww, that's sweet of you." Which was said completely out of frustration and annoyance, and really, I ought to know better. I apologize for that.

But I can't begin to express how much it DOES frustrate and annoy me when people who really haven't posted here much or for very long decide to come in and insult me personally--not merely say I'm a lousy mod or they disagree with a decision I've made, but insult me personally. That really does hurt. And it's been a rough week here, for me and for everyone, and it's the last thing we need.

Nevertheless, I ought to be focusing on breaking the cycle of sarcasm and cynicism, not perpetuating it.

So, again, my apologies.

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

Re: Re: sorry pax..

I'll say it again--the ONLY thing I had a problem with was Melon's one comment, for which he has apologized and which I consequently no longer care about (I mean the comment itself--I do care about the fact that he apologized, as it was a stand-up thing to do).

I just want to make it clear pax that I wasn't referring to you in my other comments in this thread. I'm not going to point out what or who, but I resent the implication that it was "insensitive" of me to even start this thread. Like I said, I support melon's and irvine's right to feel how they feel about this. I've always thought my feelings about gay marriage were crystal clear, maybe not I've read comments about this thread elsewhere that I was responding to as well.

I know why this forum has been this way this week, but I can't/won't say

Thank you bonos saint for your oh-so-kind compliments, right back at you It's nice to feel appreciated, but it certainly is unpleasant to walk on eggshells (and to now walk on hot coals ) before starting any and every thread here.

 

[Dreadsox]

My goodness....

I came in here thinking this would be a fun thread....

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

No more fun threads dreadsox

w/ fun threads

they're worse and more evil than the Yankees, I tell ya. I'd rather kiss A Rod