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Old 06-04-2004, 07:35 AM   #1
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The Politics of Love

So, you all here familiar with a book that came out a bit ago, called, "The Rules"? It explained to women that, to get a man, you needed to follow some simply rules and soon you'd meet and marry Mr. Right. Some of the rules...

1. Don't talk much, he wants to talk about himself and will think you're a brilliant conversationalist (okay, there might be something to this one.... )
2. Don't return phone calls until two or three days
3. Don't accept dates unless he gives you 4 days advanced notice (this way he'll think you're always sought after and busy)
4. Maintain General Sense of Mystery

I personally think this is a load of I think it assumes men are stupid, for one thing. And it forces women to not be themselves. With me, what you see is what you get. So, ladies and gents, what do you think of the Rules?



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Old 06-04-2004, 07:56 AM   #2
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I'm not a lady but I think people who write these books have a very simplistic view of society. People who read these books (Oprah's bookclub ) don't seem to have a view of society at all and desperately want one.
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Old 06-04-2004, 08:09 AM   #3
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Re: The Politics of Love

Quote:
Originally posted by Sherry Darling
So, you all here familiar with a book that came out a bit ago, called, "The Rules"? It explained to women that, to get a man, you needed to follow some simply rules and soon you'd meet and marry Mr. Right. Some of the rules...

<snip rule 1>

2. Don't return phone calls until two or three days
But does it say you have to return the phone call? I mean, can I expect an answer back?

Quote:

4. Maintain General Sense of Mystery
This is never a bad thing.

Quote:
I personally think this is a load of I think it assumes men are stupid, for one thing.
But it is true! We are! Or simplistic at the very least. Don't overestimate the man. We are simplistic and not afraid to admit it.

C ya!

Marty
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Old 06-04-2004, 08:12 AM   #4
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I think they wrote one for men, I'm not sure...I don't think Oprah's book club reads books like that either. I know the new one is Anna Karenina

I think some "rules" are

treat someone w/ respect

be honest

be kind

be understanding

try to accept the other person's "flaws"

be yourself and don't present a false image for whatever reason..if you can't be yourself and have to resort to playing games, what is the point

Signed

Dr Phil


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Old 06-04-2004, 10:45 AM   #5
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Good thing my man is extraordinary, or else he wouldn't be able to handle me... especially from the POV of these "rules"

Those rules are a good way to be a doormat, tho!
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Old 06-04-2004, 12:55 PM   #6
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If a girl would treat me like described in the rules quoted by Sherry i'd think:

1a) for some girls this might be a good hint

1 b) but.. if it's to extreme:
Either she wants to hide something or she wants to tell me ANYTHING i want to hear instead of the truth.

2. ok she's not interested/i'm not important for her - why waste my time with that person?

3. not interested / i'm not as important as she was for me -> not the person i was looking for

4. Why? Most Women are most of the time a Mystery anyway, they don't have to make it even harder for us?
How can a women expect to be treated the way she wants to be treated if she's a big mystery for men and noone knows what she really wants?
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Old 06-04-2004, 01:03 PM   #7
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Re: Re: The Politics of Love

Don't overestimate the man. We are simplistic and not afraid to admit it.

Oh no Marty, I see you don't know some French guys !
Marie
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Old 06-04-2004, 01:07 PM   #8
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OK, I retrieved this one from my Funbox. Please, disregard any sexism in the next post (as it says somewhere, if you can explain something two ways and one of those makes you angry or sad, we mean the other one).
Forget that Rule Book, this is closer to the truth. Following this may not lead you to Mr. Right, but it'll surely make understanding men a bit easier.

Quote:
TO WOMEN EVERYWERE:

Learn to work the toilet seat. Don't allow it to outsmart you, If it's up, put it down.

If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as fishing, cricket or monster trucks.

Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that way.

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

You have enough clothes.

You have too many shoes.

Crying is blackmail.

Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!

No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on the calendar.

Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes.

Most guys own three pairs of shoes - what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

Check your own oil.

It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic.

You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something but not both.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

ALL men see in only 16 colours. Peach is a fruit, not a colour.

If it itches, it will be scratched.

Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.

What the hell is a doily?
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Old 06-04-2004, 01:09 PM   #9
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Klaus : we're not really a mystery we just move in "mysterious ways" !
Maybe you guys think that women are a mystery because you are just not able to understand us !
I have to admit that most of the girls are very complicated but I know many many many men who are !
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Old 06-04-2004, 01:09 PM   #10
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Re: Re: Re: The Politics of Love

Quote:
Originally posted by MissMaCo
Oh no Marty, I see you don't know some French guys !
Marie
Indeed, I don't. Why? Are they *gasp* able to understand subtle hints?!

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Old 06-04-2004, 01:12 PM   #11
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Marty : Most of them are very very very complicated ! More than girls I think ! Can you believe it ? ? ?
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Old 06-04-2004, 01:35 PM   #12
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MissMaCo:
Quote:
we're not really a mystery we just move in "mysterious ways" !
Yeah women move and behave in mysterious ways - but it's alright, i guess that's why we love 'em we want to move with them through miracle days

Well i know some girls who admit that they don't even understand themself - so i guess it's hopeless trying to understand them and that's what i'd call a mystery

Popmartijn:
We're NOT simplistic.... ok, maybee you're right compared to women we are
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Old 06-04-2004, 01:48 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by MissMaCo
Marty : Most of them are very very very complicated ! More than girls I think ! Can you believe it ? ? ?
No.

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Old 06-04-2004, 04:24 PM   #14
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Heterosexual gender roles crack me up.

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Old 06-04-2004, 06:35 PM   #15
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I used to like to think I was a thing of mystery. Then I met my husband, who can see right through me. I figured anyone who could read me so easily was good mate, and I was right.
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Old 06-04-2004, 07:00 PM   #16
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I would make fun of each of those if the sad truth wasn't that not following them also got me nowhere

and when I say nowhere I mean ... well ... nowhere


ah hell, these rules are actually stil stupid even to me
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Old 06-04-2004, 09:29 PM   #17
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Judging from what Marty posted, I think my fiance is only about 60% typical male.
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Old 06-04-2004, 10:14 PM   #18
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Gah, I never follow any rulebook when it comes to relationships (granted, I've only had one boyfriend so far, but still...). Besides, the guys I like never act like your "typical" male to begin with.

In regards to this...

Learn to work the toilet seat. Don't allow it to outsmart you, If it's up, put it down.

Heh, I've never really understood the big problem people have with this, either. It's a toilet seat. Why are we arguing over a toilet seat?

If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

That sounds fair.

Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

I'm weird-I don't expect anything lavish or fancy. If they get me something lavish or fancy, fine, but it's not a requirement.

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

Again, I think that's fair.

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

Bah, the whole "Do I look fat?" question has always bugged me and I've always felt bad for guys in regards to it, 'cause they'll never win. If they say "No", the girl will think think they're lying, if they say "Yes", the girl will get upset with them. They obviously think you look fine to them, otherwise they wouldn't be with you to begin with, so...*Shrugs*.

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as fishing, cricket or monster trucks.

Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.


Heh, the guys I like aren't ones who are athletic or into monster trucks or things of that nature, so no worries there. .

Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that way.

I like shopping, but it's not as important to me as it is to some women, and even then, I like shopping for books, music, and movies. I'm not a fan of clothes shopping or shoe shopping. I just want to go in, get whatever seems the most comfortable to me, and get out.

You have enough clothes.

You have too many shoes.


Read what I said above in regards to shopping (fyi, I have, what, three pairs of shoes, and that's all the more I need).

Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!

Makes sense to me.

Most guys own three pairs of shoes - what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

LOL, true.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


Something I actually disagree on-sometimes it's nice to have a guy console you (and the kinds of guys I like, again, wouldn't agree with this line of thinking).

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

LOL.

Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

Haha, the kinds of guys I like enjoy foreign films-my old boyfriend was really into them. .

Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic.

I'll agree with this-after all, girls ogle guys all the time, so it's kinda stupid to yell at guys for doing the same thing.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Disagree with this.

If it itches, it will be scratched.

Duh. I can live with that.

Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

Handbags don't excite me. .

Angela
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Old 06-05-2004, 02:38 AM   #19
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I agree with most of what Angela says. I think all these rules are lists of sexist details, I mean, I know guys who love shopping and girls who don't. I know girls who make a mess of the bathroom and guys who don't ! I don't know if you feel it in your countries but in France, we witness a new (strange) kind of men : the Metrosexual : means that these men are very fond on shopping, they use more beauty products than women, they love to take of themselves (sometimes much more than women too), and they're heterosexual. Some really have feminine ways.
Do you girls are attracted by these men ?
Do you men recognize yourselves in that description ?
I don't know what to think about it, really, but I know I'm not attracted but men who are very well-turned ! (see my list of the 5 sexiest men alive on the Plebans thread ! ) but of course, I also have a problem with guys who let themselves go !
Complicated, isn't it ?
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Old 06-05-2004, 03:45 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally posted by MissMaCo
Complicated, isn't it ?
Yes.
And then you go on and say that men are complicated...




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