The Gay Thread

[Irvine511]

Post thoughts and issues about gayness here.

[Dalton]

I contend that Cam and Mitchell are the two best things that have happened to gays in america.

[PhilsFan]

Rudy Gay shoots way too much.

[jeevey]

That Michael Sam thing was neat, except the bit about his dad. That was sad.

http://espn.go.com/nfl/draft2014/sto...g-news-son-gay

My husband thinks this story is exciting because Michael Sam is really butch; big and aggressive in stereotypically NFL ways and doesn't have any telltale signs of gayness, ie isn't effeminate. Like, that'll show 'em that gays are just as good as the rest of us! I'm not really sure what I think about that kind of praise, but the part of the interview when he talks about going around with his first boyfriend is super cute.

[Irvine511]

Lots and lots of gay guys are masculine. People just don't think they're gay.

[PhilsFan]

I have zero interest in outing someone, but I'm just going to mention as I did in the NFL thread that Michael Sam is not even the only gay player in this NFL draft class. I'm hopeful that more and more players feel comfortable sooner rather than later.

[jeevey]

Originally Posted by Irvine511

Lots and lots of gay guys are masculine. People just don't think they're gay.

Exactly. And we can somehow praise guys for not setting off the gaydar? That's better somehow, because it's better to be "straight-acting"? Seems fishy.

I have zero interest in outing someone, but I'm just going to mention as I did in the NFL thread that Michael Sam is not even the only gay player in this NFL draft class. I'm hopeful that more and more players feel comfortable sooner rather than later.

I imagine he's not the only gay person in any nfl draft class. Anytime you line up a couple of hundred guys, statistically speaking you must have to get at least 8 or 10, even by conservative estimates.

[Irvine511]

Originally Posted by jeevey

Exactly. And we can somehow praise guys for not setting off the gaydar? That's better somehow, because it's better to be "straight-acting"? Seems fishy.

"Straight-acting" is a term of contention in the gay community.

It strikes me as really distasteful.

[jeevey]

I've heard a little about this, that many gay men specify that they want "straight acting" partners in personal ads, or advertize themselves as such. What do you think is the deal with this?

[Irvine511]

Originally Posted by jeevey

I've heard a little about this, that many gay men specify that they want "straight acting" partners in personal ads, or advertize themselves as such. What do you think is the deal with this?

It's internalized homophobia.

[bono_212]

Originally Posted by Irvine511

It's internalized homophobia.

I've never heard of this before, but I'm just wondering, honestly, what makes it internal homophobia and not just a preference? Is it the phrase itself? Such as like when Kanye copped a lot of shit for the "light-skinned girls" line?

I'm sure not every gay man wants to be with a flamboyant person. Which is not to say that every gay man is flamboyant, which is why I can kind of understand making the distinction in a personals ad.

So yeah, I think my question is, is it the taste that's offensive, or the phrase?

[PhilsFan]

Originally Posted by jeevey

I imagine he's not the only gay person in any nfl draft class. Anytime you line up a couple of hundred guys, statistically speaking you must have to get at least 8 or 10, even by conservative estimates.

You could very well be right. I mean, I hope it's not the case, because it's that many more people who are being made to feel like they can't be themselves, but I'm sure it's something like that, numbers-wise.

[Irvine511]

It doesn't how masculine you are, having sex with a man isn't straight-acting.

You're putting both gay men and straight men in boxes in terms of mannerisms and behavior. Gay guys like football, straight men like ballet.

Terms like "masc" or "fem" might be more appropriate.

I can understand being attracted to a more "masc" or "fem" guy, but to express a preference for, or describe yourself as, "straight-acting" is false because if he were he wouldn't be having sex with you.

[bono_212]

Originally Posted by Irvine511

It doesn't how masculine you are, having sex with a man isn't straight-acting.

You're putting both gay men and straight men in boxes in terms of mannerisms and behavior. Gay guys like football, straight men like ballet.

Terms like "masc" or "fem" might be more appropriate.

I can understand being attracted to a more "masc" or "fem" guy, but to express a preference for, or describe yourself as, "straight-acting" is false because if he were he wouldn't be having sex with you.

Ok, that's what I figured. I mean, it's a pretty stupid phrase, for the reasons you've pointed out.

[Dalton]

Originally Posted by Irvine511

Lots and lots of gay guys are masculine. People just don't think they're gay.

Johnny Weir for example.

[Dalton]

Originally Posted by Irvine511

It doesn't how masculine you are, having sex with a man isn't straight-acting.

I think we can go ahead and close this thread?

[Irvine511]

Originally Posted by Dalton

I think we can go ahead and close this thread?

Then again, we could talk about straight guys who have sex with guys.

Lots of those. MSM.

I assume you're familiar? What with your whirling bits and all.

[Dalton]

Hey, the ladies love the whirling bits.

And I thought we've already clarified that if you're having sex with men, you're not straight.

[Dalton]

I assume that everyone's seen this by now, but if not:

Straight Sports News Anchor Brilliantly Shuts Down Critics Of Michael Sam & Gay Athletes | Instinct

[Irvine511]

Actually, it's more a public health term.

When assessing things like HIV, doctors do to ask patients, especially members of certain populations, if they are gay, straight, or bi. They try to determine if they have sex with men. These categories are meaningless to them. They entirely straight identify and may have families, and they don't feel closeted like a Republican politician. It's a cultural thing. In other countries, especially those where women are all burka'd up, dudes have sex with each other all the time.

So it's complicated.