Should women stay in the kitchen?

mikal · 08-22-2001, 07:12 PM

I don't think so!

But would our children be better off?

OzAurora · 08-22-2001, 07:31 PM

This is a stupid question.....gender roles and the idea of the so called 'nuclear family' have changed dramatically and the idea that children will be better off if ones Mother stays in the kitchen is absurb....here is an analogy for you, how can one truly understand something if they have never experienced it, and how can one know if they are missing out on something if they have never experienced that particular thing.....I have a friend whos Mother died when she was born and a lot of people used to say 'oh poor such and such, she never got to grow up with a Mother, how bad and horrible that must of been', however one day I asked my friend if she felt like this and she told me that she did not, as she did not know what it was like to have a Mother in the first place and therefore had no way of determining or understanding what it was that she was missing out on........so I guess an analogy like this can be applied to the forememtioned question.......in these modern times, numerous children will grow up with diverse families whose 'traditional' gender roles are dynamic, the question that should be asked is are children getting enough love....I know that I grew up in a household where my Mother did not work and was always at home when I would get home from school, but I tell you now, that she was the world's worst cook, but aside from this there was always plenty of love about....Traditions and stereotypes change, but the one thing that should remain constant when it comes to children is the notion of love, and one of the only times that I would ever quote the bible (seeing as though I really am not religious at all) is 'suffer not the children'......and you could say that a child whose both parents work their asses off and never step fut inside the so called domestic space of the 'kitchen' could receieve more love and attention than a child whose Mother stays at home, but hey things like this will always be very subjective and open for numerous ways of interpretation

**Bonochick** · 08-22-2001, 07:34 PM

If I stay in the kitchen, all you'll be getting is cereal...and it will probably end up being burnt somehow. *lol*

Seriously, my fiance is a wonderful cook! Good thing one of us is...

For something basic, you should see what he does to Ramen noodles! He uses like a million different spices and stuff...they're awesome!

Mail me some, sweetie!

------------------
"I Can Lose Myself, You I Can't Live Without"

[This message has been edited by Bonochick (edited 08-22-2001).]

mikal · 08-22-2001, 07:38 PM

If it was a stupid question, then why did you reply?

------------------
I can't decide what my signature should say! Any ideas?

mikal · 08-22-2001, 07:40 PM

Otherwise I agree with your statement Oz. But I think it's a valid question.

sulawesigirl4 · 08-22-2001, 08:09 PM

lol. mikal, since yer from Green Bay, I'm gonna cut you a little slack and not hang you up by your toes.

But honestly, if there's one button that when pushed gets me going...it's the "women should stay in the kitchen" one. Rather than go off on a diatribe on women's rights and all that, I'll just put my thoughts for me, myself, and I out there.

I'm single. I'm very independent. I like working. I love travelling. If I ever do get married, the lucky guy (

) will have to be willing to uproot and move about as much as I. At the moment, I'm not real keen on the idea of being a mother. BUT, if me and my partner chose to have children, not only would it be a mutual decision, but it would be a mutual thing in the raising of them. In my opinion, it takes two to make a baby...and if possible, two ought to raise it. Ergo, if it takes both of us working different shifts so I can be home odd days and he can be home even days...then that's what we'd do. If his job pays less than mine, then maybe he'd stay home. If mine paid less, then perhaps I would. My point being...there will not be this automatic assumption of "you are the woman...therefore you will be the one to stay home." I won't stand for that.

I do think that having parents raise their own children is the ideal situation. And I don't say that out of ignorance of the 'real world' or out of trying to impose my values on anyone else. (Believe me, I have many friends who have had to raise their children alone, and I know how hard the choices they face are.) Just for me personally, I think I'd rather my child's formative years be spent in the bosum of a loving, nurturing home, not in a daycare facility.

So there you go.

My long diatribe. Make any sense?

-sula

besides...in my house, my dad is just as good of a cook as my mom.

mikal · 08-22-2001, 08:17 PM

You made a lot of sense, sula!

Just so everyone knows, I think men and women are equal. I actually disagree with the question is my thread title! I just knew a title like that would pop out at people.

Just to make that clear.

Go Packers!

bonoman · 08-22-2001, 08:26 PM

Here we go big long womens rights replies(just joking)(not that there is anything wrong with that but 1 speech is like the rest).

Well i totally agree that someone should always be there when the children come home from school. That there should be dinner made and everybody there to enjoy it together. I believe in a clean house, a clean enviroment for kids. Regardless of a mother or father doing the tasks. Or both!

My mother worked about half of my life. The middle half. But even though she worked she still managed to have her hours of work not to conflict with my brothers or sisters. She always had dinner ready for my father.

I'll tell you why alot of women stay in the household. First, they are more emotional of the two genders. Not saying that men arnt. But kids need emotional support. I think women are more open with there emotions. I think that is an asset to the kids.

Secondly, traditionally, men work phyiscally harder then women. Its just logic men are usually stronger, physically. If your husband were to work 10-14 hour days and had to come home to clean the house make himself and the family dinner and do laundry and other tasks then he would be superman. I guess you would have to work a full week of 16 hr shifts to understand.(now i am not saying women dont get tired and i'm not saying they dont do these jobs, but they are a very small minority.)

A stable household is the cornerstone of our society. If its the man or the woman at home i think that there should be someone home with the kids. Nowadays you cant trust anyone with your kids!

ps. please dont flame me. If you dont agree then disagree respectivally.

------------------
Running to Stand Still-"you gotta cry without weeping, talk without speaking, scream without raising your voice."

"we're not burning out we're burning up...we're the loudest folk band in the world!"-Bono

[This message has been edited by bonoman (edited 08-22-2001).]

drgnwolf1969 · 08-22-2001, 08:45 PM

If I stay in the kitchen, all you'll be getting is cereal...and it will probably end up being burnt somehow. *lol*

Seriously, my fiance is a wonderful cook! Good thing one of us is...

For something basic, you should see what he does to Ramen noodles! He uses like a million different spices
and stuff...they're awesome!

Mail me some, sweetie!
Me? a wonderful cook?????Awwwwwwwww angel eyes

Of course i'll send you some. and next time I will fix up another couple of platters to tickle your taste buds.

------------------
Yeah you keep me holding on

Henry Rollins · 08-22-2001, 09:18 PM

Go Packers!!!!!!!!!

~rougerum

martha · 08-22-2001, 09:33 PM

Two reasons women should stay in the kitchen:
1. To bake
2. To have sex on the kitchen floor

Not in that order.

------------------
...a highway with no one on it, a treasure just to look upon it...

"The skeletal structure of your foot is not normal." -- my podiatrist 8-6-01

SicilianGoddess · 08-22-2001, 09:45 PM

Jeezus Sula, once again I have nothing to say because you said everything I wanted to say.

The women in the kitchen thing is just too old fasioned, sorry.

Bonochick! LMFAO!!! Burnt cereal!!

Packers Suck.

------------------
Sicilian Women Are More Dangerous Than Shotguns

My Website

Saracene · 08-23-2001, 01:08 AM

My Mum managed to raise three children and have a 9 to 6 job at the same time. If you ask me, I was really glad there was no one at home when I came back from school, because it meant that my friends and I could do whatever we wanted at my place (provided we cleaned up everything afterwards),

Like O2 · 08-23-2001, 01:42 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by drgnwolf1969:
Awwwwwwwww angel eyes Of course i'll send you some. and next time I will fix up another couple of platters to tickle your taste buds.

You two are SO cute!!!

mikal · 08-23-2001, 01:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by SicilianGoddess:

Packers Suck.

[/B]

You Suck!

Angela Harlem · 08-23-2001, 06:39 AM

Honestly Oz. Womens Lib has gone overboard.

My views are prolly gonna piss you off like hell, but they're my opinions.

For starters, women dont belong anywhere. in the kitchen or hauling their asses up the corporate ladder in some male dominated stress invoking environment to the detriment of the family. Each woman regardless of family status belongs where she feels she wants to be. That, Im sure you will agree on.

Do you mean by your reply that you think less of women that choose to stay at home and raise the children? I sincerely hope not. Each role in the family is important whether it be the mother with the kids or the father who has the responsibility of bringing home the dough to support them.

I guess when it comes down to it, I do believe women should be at home raising the children. This is for a number if reasons. Firstly, if you do not wish to raise them, do all those motherly things, then why have them at all? Theres also the bond issue. Mothers who spend 12 hours a day at work and only see their kids when they are picked up or dropped off at day care cannot honestly be developing the best relationship with their mother. A woman who feels her job is worth more of her time than her own child shouldnt have had kids. Nothing wrong with being ambitious, but at what price should it come at?

Im sure a lot of fathers are excellent house husbands. If the situation dictates that is the best way to raise the family, then that is obviously the way to do it.

Financially a lot of families cant have the mother stay at home. Thats different though. These kids will grow up happy and well adjusted enough if the parents strive to get the most out of what time they do get with the kids.

Theres probably few who agree with me here. But what could possibly be better than watching your own child grow into a little person? Its something not all of us will have the opportunity to experience. And some of us will stuff up that great role so unbelievably you end up reading about them in the news. Still, I dont understand how some females choose not to do this. For the sake of a career that will not thank them come the age of 55 when they retire.

Just my thoughts.

dream wanderer · 08-23-2001, 08:28 AM

I think it is a good idea if one parent stays home with the kids while they are little. Doesn't have to be mom...

But once the kids are in school...do what you want.

My problem with the 'stay at home woman!' notion is that not all women have that home making personality. Some women do and that's great but its not something you can talk yourself into having if its not there......it would be like lining all the men up in the world and telling them...

"Ok..no matter what your talents and desires or what you are best suited for..you must be a coal miner. Society has determined your personaltiy and temperment is best for this...and society will be more stable if you are a coal miner."

Rather silly...yet we assume all women have the temperment and personality to be home makers when some of them *JUST DON"T*...and no amount of scolding will make it happen.

feminism is about women having options....if she wants to do the traditional thing...she may. If she wants to command the first mission to mars and she has the qualifications...she may. Society does not determine her role and does not condemn her for the choices she makes...(unless of course she decides to be an ax murderer or something! )

My own experience...it was great having mom home while I was little...but as I got older I wished she had at least a part time job. She had her housework done by noon...and sat around and got depressed the rest of the day. She was a miserable person and I think at least a part time job would have helped her...but she was trapped into doing the right thing...and the right thing only made her miserable...

dream wanderer

**Bonochick** · 08-23-2001, 08:39 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by SicilianGoddess:
Packers Suck.

HEY!!!!!!

*proudly wearin' my green & gold*

------------------
"I Can Lose Myself, You I Can't Live Without"

80sU2isBest · 08-23-2001, 08:59 AM

Only if she wants to and will cook me Spaghetti all the time.

SicilianGoddess · 08-23-2001, 10:08 AM

LOL Sorry Kat...

I cook spaghetti every nite.

------------------
Sicilian Women Are More Dangerous Than Shotguns

My Website

08-22-2001, 07:12 PM	#1
mikal Blue Crack Addict Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Black Lodge Posts: 28,276 Local Time: 07:14 AM	Should women stay in the kitchen? I don't think so! But would our children be better off? __________________

08-22-2001, 07:31 PM	#2
OzAurora Refugee Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: The Sunshine Coast, Queensland, Australia Posts: 1,612 Local Time: 11:14 PM	This is a stupid question.....gender roles and the idea of the so called 'nuclear family' have changed dramatically and the idea that children will be better off if ones Mother stays in the kitchen is absurb....here is an analogy for you, how can one truly understand something if they have never experienced it, and how can one know if they are missing out on something if they have never experienced that particular thing.....I have a friend whos Mother died when she was born and a lot of people used to say 'oh poor such and such, she never got to grow up with a Mother, how bad and horrible that must of been', however one day I asked my friend if she felt like this and she told me that she did not, as she did not know what it was like to have a Mother in the first place and therefore had no way of determining or understanding what it was that she was missing out on........so I guess an analogy like this can be applied to the forememtioned question.......in these modern times, numerous children will grow up with diverse families whose 'traditional' gender roles are dynamic, the question that should be asked is are children getting enough love....I know that I grew up in a household where my Mother did not work and was always at home when I would get home from school, but I tell you now, that she was the world's worst cook, but aside from this there was always plenty of love about....Traditions and stereotypes change, but the one thing that should remain constant when it comes to children is the notion of love, and one of the only times that I would ever quote the bible (seeing as though I really am not religious at all) is 'suffer not the children'......and you could say that a child whose both parents work their asses off and never step fut inside the so called domestic space of the 'kitchen' could receieve more love and attention than a child whose Mother stays at home, but hey things like this will always be very subjective and open for numerous ways of interpretation __________________

08-23-2001, 10:08 AM	#20
SicilianGoddess Rock n' Roll Doggie Band-aid Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Smiley Land ? Posts: 4,462 Local Time: 05:14 AM	LOL Sorry Kat... I cook spaghetti every nite. ------------------ Sicilian Women Are More Dangerous Than Shotguns My Website __________________

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Email this Page	Search this Thread: Advanced Search
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

08-22-2001, 07:34 PM	#3
Bonochick Halloweenhead Forum Moderator Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Cherry Lane Posts: 40,820 Local Time: 08:14 AM	If I stay in the kitchen, all you'll be getting is cereal...and it will probably end up being burnt somehow. lol Seriously, my fiance is a wonderful cook! Good thing one of us is... For something basic, you should see what he does to Ramen noodles! He uses like a million different spices and stuff...they're awesome! Mail me some, sweetie! ------------------ "I Can Lose Myself, You I Can't Live Without" [This message has been edited by Bonochick (edited 08-22-2001).]

08-22-2001, 07:38 PM	#4
mikal Blue Crack Addict Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Black Lodge Posts: 28,276 Local Time: 07:14 AM	If it was a stupid question, then why did you reply? ------------------ I can't decide what my signature should say! Any ideas?

08-22-2001, 07:40 PM	#5
mikal Blue Crack Addict Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Black Lodge Posts: 28,276 Local Time: 07:14 AM	Otherwise I agree with your statement Oz. But I think it's a valid question.

08-22-2001, 08:09 PM	#6
sulawesigirl4 Rock n' Roll Doggie ALL ACCESS Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Virginia Posts: 7,415 Local Time: 07:14 AM	lol. mikal, since yer from Green Bay, I'm gonna cut you a little slack and not hang you up by your toes. But honestly, if there's one button that when pushed gets me going...it's the "women should stay in the kitchen" one. Rather than go off on a diatribe on women's rights and all that, I'll just put my thoughts for me, myself, and I out there. I'm single. I'm very independent. I like working. I love travelling. If I ever do get married, the lucky guy ( ) will have to be willing to uproot and move about as much as I. At the moment, I'm not real keen on the idea of being a mother. BUT, if me and my partner chose to have children, not only would it be a mutual decision, but it would be a mutual thing in the raising of them. In my opinion, it takes two to make a baby...and if possible, two ought to raise it. Ergo, if it takes both of us working different shifts so I can be home odd days and he can be home even days...then that's what we'd do. If his job pays less than mine, then maybe he'd stay home. If mine paid less, then perhaps I would. My point being...there will not be this automatic assumption of "you are the woman...therefore you will be the one to stay home." I won't stand for that. I do think that having parents raise their own children is the ideal situation. And I don't say that out of ignorance of the 'real world' or out of trying to impose my values on anyone else. (Believe me, I have many friends who have had to raise their children alone, and I know how hard the choices they face are.) Just for me personally, I think I'd rather my child's formative years be spent in the bosum of a loving, nurturing home, not in a daycare facility. So there you go. My long diatribe. Make any sense? -sula besides...in my house, my dad is just as good of a cook as my mom.

08-22-2001, 08:17 PM	#7
mikal Blue Crack Addict Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Black Lodge Posts: 28,276 Local Time: 07:14 AM	You made a lot of sense, sula! Just so everyone knows, I think men and women are equal. I actually disagree with the question is my thread title! I just knew a title like that would pop out at people. Just to make that clear. Go Packers!

08-22-2001, 08:26 PM	#8
bonoman Refugee Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Edmonton, Canada- Charlestown, Ireland Posts: 1,398 Local Time: 05:14 AM	Here we go big long womens rights replies(just joking)(not that there is anything wrong with that but 1 speech is like the rest). Well i totally agree that someone should always be there when the children come home from school. That there should be dinner made and everybody there to enjoy it together. I believe in a clean house, a clean enviroment for kids. Regardless of a mother or father doing the tasks. Or both! My mother worked about half of my life. The middle half. But even though she worked she still managed to have her hours of work not to conflict with my brothers or sisters. She always had dinner ready for my father. I'll tell you why alot of women stay in the household. First, they are more emotional of the two genders. Not saying that men arnt. But kids need emotional support. I think women are more open with there emotions. I think that is an asset to the kids. Secondly, traditionally, men work phyiscally harder then women. Its just logic men are usually stronger, physically. If your husband were to work 10-14 hour days and had to come home to clean the house make himself and the family dinner and do laundry and other tasks then he would be superman. I guess you would have to work a full week of 16 hr shifts to understand.(now i am not saying women dont get tired and i'm not saying they dont do these jobs, but they are a very small minority.) A stable household is the cornerstone of our society. If its the man or the woman at home i think that there should be someone home with the kids. Nowadays you cant trust anyone with your kids! ps. please dont flame me. If you dont agree then disagree respectivally. ------------------ Running to Stand Still-"you gotta cry without weeping, talk without speaking, scream without raising your voice." "we're not burning out we're burning up...we're the loudest folk band in the world!"-Bono [This message has been edited by bonoman (edited 08-22-2001).]

08-22-2001, 08:45 PM	#9
drgnwolf1969 The Fly Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Radford, Va Posts: 153 Local Time: 12:14 PM	If I stay in the kitchen, all you'll be getting is cereal...and it will probably end up being burnt somehow. lol Seriously, my fiance is a wonderful cook! Good thing one of us is... For something basic, you should see what he does to Ramen noodles! He uses like a million different spices and stuff...they're awesome! Mail me some, sweetie! Me? a wonderful cook?????Awwwwwwwww angel eyes Of course i'll send you some. and next time I will fix up another couple of platters to tickle your taste buds. ------------------ Yeah you keep me holding on

08-22-2001, 09:18 PM	#10
Henry Rollins The Fly Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: LA Posts: 82 Local Time: 12:14 PM	Go Packers!!!!!!!!! ~rougerum

08-22-2001, 09:33 PM	#11
martha Blue Crack Supplier Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Orange County and all over the goddamn place Posts: 42,556 Local Time: 05:14 AM	Two reasons women should stay in the kitchen: 1. To bake 2. To have sex on the kitchen floor Not in that order. ------------------ ...a highway with no one on it, a treasure just to look upon it... "The skeletal structure of your foot is not normal." -- my podiatrist 8-6-01

08-22-2001, 09:45 PM	#12
SicilianGoddess Rock n' Roll Doggie Band-aid Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Smiley Land ? Posts: 4,462 Local Time: 05:14 AM	Jeezus Sula, once again I have nothing to say because you said everything I wanted to say. The women in the kitchen thing is just too old fasioned, sorry. Bonochick! LMFAO!!! Burnt cereal!! Packers Suck. ------------------ Sicilian Women Are More Dangerous Than Shotguns My Website

08-23-2001, 01:08 AM	#13
Saracene Rock n' Roll Doggie VIP PASS Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Melbourne, Australia, some time after tea Posts: 6,325 Local Time: 12:14 PM	My Mum managed to raise three children and have a 9 to 6 job at the same time. If you ask me, I was really glad there was no one at home when I came back from school, because it meant that my friends and I could do whatever we wanted at my place (provided we cleaned up everything afterwards),

08-23-2001, 06:39 AM	#16
Angela Harlem Jesus Online Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: a glass castle Posts: 30,163 Local Time: 11:14 PM	Honestly Oz. Womens Lib has gone overboard. My views are prolly gonna piss you off like hell, but they're my opinions. For starters, women dont belong anywhere. in the kitchen or hauling their asses up the corporate ladder in some male dominated stress invoking environment to the detriment of the family. Each woman regardless of family status belongs where she feels she wants to be. That, Im sure you will agree on. Do you mean by your reply that you think less of women that choose to stay at home and raise the children? I sincerely hope not. Each role in the family is important whether it be the mother with the kids or the father who has the responsibility of bringing home the dough to support them. I guess when it comes down to it, I do believe women should be at home raising the children. This is for a number if reasons. Firstly, if you do not wish to raise them, do all those motherly things, then why have them at all? Theres also the bond issue. Mothers who spend 12 hours a day at work and only see their kids when they are picked up or dropped off at day care cannot honestly be developing the best relationship with their mother. A woman who feels her job is worth more of her time than her own child shouldnt have had kids. Nothing wrong with being ambitious, but at what price should it come at? Im sure a lot of fathers are excellent house husbands. If the situation dictates that is the best way to raise the family, then that is obviously the way to do it. Financially a lot of families cant have the mother stay at home. Thats different though. These kids will grow up happy and well adjusted enough if the parents strive to get the most out of what time they do get with the kids. Theres probably few who agree with me here. But what could possibly be better than watching your own child grow into a little person? Its something not all of us will have the opportunity to experience. And some of us will stuff up that great role so unbelievably you end up reading about them in the news. Still, I dont understand how some females choose not to do this. For the sake of a career that will not thank them come the age of 55 when they retire. Just my thoughts.

08-23-2001, 08:28 AM	#17
dream wanderer Acrobat Join Date: Aug 2000 Posts: 320 Local Time: 12:14 PM	I think it is a good idea if one parent stays home with the kids while they are little. Doesn't have to be mom... But once the kids are in school...do what you want. My problem with the 'stay at home woman!' notion is that not all women have that home making personality. Some women do and that's great but its not something you can talk yourself into having if its not there......it would be like lining all the men up in the world and telling them... "Ok..no matter what your talents and desires or what you are best suited for..you must be a coal miner. Society has determined your personaltiy and temperment is best for this...and society will be more stable if you are a coal miner." Rather silly...yet we assume all women have the temperment and personality to be home makers when some of them JUST DON"T...and no amount of scolding will make it happen. feminism is about women having options....if she wants to do the traditional thing...she may. If she wants to command the first mission to mars and she has the qualifications...she may. Society does not determine her role and does not condemn her for the choices she makes...(unless of course she decides to be an ax murderer or something! ) My own experience...it was great having mom home while I was little...but as I got older I wished she had at least a part time job. She had her housework done by noon...and sat around and got depressed the rest of the day. She was a miserable person and I think at least a part time job would have helped her...but she was trapped into doing the right thing...and the right thing only made her miserable... dream wanderer

08-23-2001, 08:59 AM	#19
80sU2isBest Rock n' Roll Doggie Band-aid Join Date: Nov 2000 Posts: 4,970 Local Time: 07:14 AM	Only if she wants to and will cook me Spaghetti all the time.