Same Sex Marriage Thread - Part III

The friendliest place on the web for anyone that follows U2.
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
Status
Not open for further replies.
All thes professional sports teams have one thing in common: they are all made up of employees. The players are hired and fired at will, and they compete for a paycheck paid for by people buying merchandise and tickets for entertainment events.

Fuck whatever macho culture may exist. These are professional adults capable of acting like adults and adhering to whatever rules of conduct and behavior their employer expects of them. If someone doesn't like the thought of sharing a locker room with a gay guy, that's really his problem, and one he needs to get over much in the same way a lawyer or accountant would have to get over his issues with a gay person in his workplace. It's not on the gay person to make you comfortable. It's up to you to manage your shit.

It's just a job. There aren't lives at stake. It's not the military.

I think it is still, by far, a cultural issue. One I never understood, but is widely accepted for some reason.

When two straight girls sleep in the same bed, it's ok, they're friends. When two straight men do this, it raises eyebrows, but ok, they're friends. Nothing would happen either way.
When a guy and a girl share a bed, eyebrows will perhaps be raised, but nothing might happen as they are just friends. Though one can argue that the guy will always try to make a move, but that's another cultural issue...

Yet when a gay person shares a bed with another person of the same gender, it is somewhat expected that they will make a move. That you cannot shower with a gay person without having them jump you. How the heck did people ever get this view?

Because I just do not understand it. It's just somehow different for gay people, it's awkward or whatever. But why? Sorry, but I'm not a rabbit. I don't mate with everyone I see, I too, have my types. If you're not my type, you're not my type and I don't look at you any different than all my other friends. I've shared beds with plenty of both male and female friends, for sleeping purposes. Did I try jumping any of them? Hell no. Did I want to? Eh, hell no? It's just the same for both, and if I happen to like someone, be it male or female, I like that person. But that doesn't mean I'm suddenly a rabid sexual deviant that cannot control their urges or whatever..

The whole issue with gay athletes and locker room situation, how is that even an issue? I just don't get it.
 
GG, I actually think you're making the opposite argument than you are proving your point.

I'm a hetero dude. If I'm constantly showering or sharing a bed with women, i'm going to eventually make a move. Its normal to assume the same about gay men.

The issue isn't attraction in my book, it's about professionalism. I work with many attractive women. I am often with them in situations that lend themselves toward intimacy. Do I pursue those chances? No because I'm a professional and that would be inappropriate.

Do I think gay dudes will be turned on at some level constantly showering with other guys? Yes. If they're not, I'd tell them to see a doctor. But all of my friends aren't going to act on that, because like me they're professionals and have restraint.
 
Ha. Just had a great conversation with one of my partners on this topic. It's our belief that men's default position is to believe that everyone is sexually attracted to us.

Therefore, is it more offensive if a gay man is UNattracted to you while naked in a locker room?

Homophobia meet pride.
 
I know I'm kicking this thing to death, but I just heard an interesting topic on Collin Coward's radio program. One of his listeners texted in that we need to consider the fact that straightman may be uncomfortable showering with gay men. Collin, per usual, went off on a quick rant about how it doesn't matter if they are uncomfortable.

While I agree with that sentiment, it does bring up an interesting thought. I would imagine that if a company forestay woman to shower with men, she could claim it was a hostile work environment and she would win. What will the sexual-harassment ramifications be in this case? Very interesting.
 
There is no way that any company would require women and men to shower together.

But is there a requirement for men to shower together in other places? If this is such a concern, why can't they build private/individual shower stalls?
 
Is that really the case? Or is it just the general consensus?

I've had a male best friend for 10 years, not once did either of us make a move. We even talked about it for a while but netiher of us was attracted to each other. We slept in the same bed a couple of times. So in your idea he was supposed to make a move on me? Something wrong with him then?

If men are uncomofortable showering with other men, then don't shower with them. :shrug: Maybe I just don't get that, I mean, it's like the age old thing that girls get mad when guys look at their boobs. Why do you get mad? It's biologically programmed that way, and I'd consider it a compliment instead. A little nod, hey, nice boobs. Thanks. Done. With all the shaming and the shouting, aren't women making it worse than it is? I think they are.

In this case, if everyone just minded their own business and took a goddamn shower, there is no problem. The problem is the assumptions people have.
 
There is no way that any company would require women and men to shower together.

Exactly to the point. Why? Aren't we all part of the same species? We've already established that men have the ability to control themselves, so they wouldn't be in danger. So why would a company never require it to happen? Sex.

That's what any lawyer would begin to argue in a sexual harassment case. All that needs to happen is to have a guy (and you'd have to guess that some right wing nut would - except in the nfl - more on that in a minute) complain that he feels uncomfortable at work because he has to shower with a person who is, potentially, looking at him sexually and he's got a case.

The Jonathan Martin/Richie Incognito situation makes this even more interesting in the NFL. In that case, we see that the harassment had been going on for a long period of time and yet Martin didn't dare confront it because it was part of the culture. The NFL has been scrambling like a mofo to cover their ass because they know they'd lose that case handily if Martin chooses to bring it.

Yet couldn't the same be said about the showering situation? A guy would have to single himself out by requesting private showers or a separate locker room.

Like I said, this is interesting.

Now, I know many of you are crazy emotional and irrational on this topic , so let me spell this out for you - I don't give a flying fuck if I shower with a gay man. So, let's think through this logically on how this could play out.
 
Gay men and straight men shower together all the time. Men (gay or straight) do not shower with women. Anatomical differences are more important here than sexual attraction.

Of course, harassment shouldn't be tolerated, and it's no different should a gay man do it to a straight man than a man to a woman.

However, if we just look at rape and sexual assault, it women have much, much, much, much more to fear from men than straights do from gays.

And lastly, most male-on-male sexual harassment is straight-on-straight.
 
Gay men and straight men shower together all the time. Men (gay or straight) do not shower with women. Anatomical differences are more important here than sexual attraction.

Of course, harassment shouldn't be tolerated, and it's no different should a gay man do it to a straight man than a man to a woman.

However, if we just look at rape and sexual assault, it women have much, much, much, much more to fear from men than straights do from gays.

And lastly, most male-on-male sexual harassment is straight-on-straight.

The concern that I'd have as an NFL team (where men are compelled to shower together as part of the job/culture as opposed to at a gym by choice) is that I'm not sure that a gay would have to sexually harass a hetero in order to create a hostile work environment. The shower itself might do it.

And irvine you sexually harass me all the time. You're a predator.
 
Personally I feel worst for the gay dudes having to shower in that setting. I know for myself, I can't take a shower without helicoptering my bits. That'd be like putting a kid close to disney land but telling him he could never go.
 
If we're talking about the NFL, these are teams worth what, hundreds of millions maybe? And they have modern facilities. How do we even know they go into one communal shower like they're still in high school? Is it not possible for their stadiums/practice areas to put in individual stalls? I don't understand why we're just assuming that they "have to" shower together, if this is an issue in any way.
 
If we're talking about the NFL, these are teams worth what, hundreds of millions maybe? And they have modern facilities. How do we even know they go into one communal shower like they're still in high school? Is it not possible for their stadiums/practice areas to put in individual stalls? I don't understand why we're just assuming that they "have to" shower together, if this is an issue in any way.

We know.
 
Nothing prevents them from accommodating any "employee" who feels uncomfortable by providing individual shower stalls.
 
Nothing prevents them from accommodating any "employee" who feels uncomfortable by providing individual shower stalls.

And this, of course, is the conversation.

You guys have got yourself so wound up in this thread, you can't actually look at these situations as they come up.

Let's all take a deep breath and realize that while this is progress, it doesn't mean that the battle is won and everyone will be singing YMCA at happy hour. There are a lot of things that will need to be sorted through just as when women were breaking into the everyday workforce. That's not bad. It just is.

Michael Sam is a hero, but his presence is going to create a major shift in the industry (whether we want that to be true or not) and I for one find the conversations fascinating.

The good news is that, even in NFL culture, it seems that the majority of people (on all levels) are ready and eager to accept an openly gay player. But we all know that not everyone will. Missouri a blueprint for the NFL? - ESPN
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top Bottom