Principal Cancels 'Bacchanalian' Prom

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UNIONDALE, N.Y. — Kenneth M. Hoagland had heard all the stories about prom-night debauchery at his Long Island high school: Students putting down $10,000 to rent a house in the Hamptons for a weekend bash. Pre-prom cocktail parties followed by a trip to the dance in a limo loaded with liquor. Fathers chartering a boat so their kids could go out on a late-night "booze cruise."

Enough was enough, Hoagland said. So the principal of Kellenberg Memorial High School fired off a 2,000-word missive to parents at the start of the school year informing them that the Catholic school would no longer put on the spring prom.

http://www.accessatlanta.com/entertainment/content/shared-gen/ap/Feature_Stories/Prom_Canceled.html
 
I read about that yesterday. These prom things do seem out of control, if anyone's ever seen that ridiculous sweet 16 show on MTV..it's mind boggling what people spend on that and how spoiled and nasty the kids are :|

I never went to my prom, I never got asked except by my best male friend who was too shy to even ask me himself, another friend told me and by then I had made up my mind I wasn't going. He was a great guy though..

anyway :wink: I lived, and that was just a simple prom. How are some of these kids going to face reality when life isn't like that anymore?

It is the parents, I don't get it..I never lived like that as a teenager so I guess that's why I don't
 
I agree the renting of houses and yaughts is extreme and completely ridiculous. But it's totally the parents fault, not prom.

I just think the logic behind this one is gone.

Now you are going to just force some parents to chip in and plan their own prom, one that's even more exclusive than most.

I just think everyone should have the same oppurtunity to have a miserable time at the prom like me.:wink:
 
Some may feel a prom is an entitlement of high school. But why give students and their parents the opportunity (and some may argue a requirement) to spend huge amounts of money in purely self-indulgent behavior? Is this the role of a school?

Parents continue to soar to new heights of idiotic behavior with the provision of alcohol and opening of homes for children to engage in sexual activities. Abdicating to the will of children "who will do it anyways", parent no longer parent and desire to be friends (perhaps they seek the attention the children give to other friends).

I say congratulations to the principle for taking a stand on this issue. The easy path would be to retain the status quo and provide another prom.
 
i have very mixed feelings.

i think that this is a bad example of a typical high school prom, just as that horror show MTV program "sweet 16" is a bad example of a girl's 16th birthday party. these are *extremely* wealthy kids, who are unquestionably spoiled, and have parents who really don't care all that much -- they have money, so no one really has to worry about too much.

so i don't think that this should be some sort of precedent for proms around the country. i grew up in a fairly upscale town with an outstanding public school, and while some money was dropped on the prom -- tickets were $90, we stupidly rented a limo, had to rent a tux -- it was nothing like what these parents are doing. my prom was fun, and afterwards we went to the (really fun) post-prom party that was thrown by parents and teachers which was alcohol free, we then stayed out all night and, yes, we did drink a bit, but i remember going to an elementary school playground at 4 in the morning and playing on the swings and feeling very free, exhilerated at what was beyond high school, and a growing sense of accomplishment at what had happened over the past 4 years.

i don't remember any drugs, i don't remember anyone getting sick, and since i went to the prom with my best female friend, i certainly wasn't having sex. no one in my group did, either, i don't think.

however, i think there are two problems with proms. firstly, they are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too mythologized in popular teenage culture, thank you Molly Ringwald. so much is built into this event, so many emotions and expectations are invested, that it can't help but be a let down. it's just a really fancy dance, that's it.

secondly, i think proms are kind of antiquated. they seem to fit into a world that doesn't really exist any more, a world with strong walls between the genders, a world where people got married right out of high school, and a world where status is measured by the expense of the prom dress.
 
I think the principal was afraid of seeing his school's prom turn into an MTV series. (Sweet 16 provides for high comedy...I mean who wouldn't be devastated if they weren't picked to be a VIP for the party) He probably went a little far in cancelling the event. I would be surprised if the kids or parents did not plan something, regardless of the school's decision.

The prom is pretty overrated though. Some people will get drunk. Some people will lose their virginity. Some people will wind up crying uncontrollably. But hey, everyone needs an excuse to get dressed up and dance to Loveshack right?
 
nbcrusader said:
Some may feel a prom is an entitlement of high school. But why give students and their parents the opportunity (and some may argue a requirement) to spend huge amounts of money in purely self-indulgent behavior? Is this the role of a school?

I say congratulations to the principle for taking a stand on this issue. The easy path would be to retain the status quo and provide another prom.

You're taking the giant leap that the priciple here did.

Prom doesn't = the opportunity

Parents = the opportunity

Prom is just a dance. A celebration of ending one's high school career. I agree with Irvine that the myth has gotten way out of control. But the prom itself is not the problem and shouldn't be where the principle should have taken a stand.

Do we eliminate graduation ceremonies next?
 
I'm just glad I'm out of high school. I don't miss being treated like an infant. I don't miss the homework. I don't miss the immature people.

All in all, I don't miss it.

Melon
 
My school didn't really have a prom; we had a spoof on a prom. We rented a room in a house that looks like a castle, and got dresses and tuxes made and/or rented. Then we just had a low-key party and called it a "prom". Dating was optional; if you didn't have a date you just came and hung out. I didn't have a date, I just went. Proms can be so ridiculous, some of this behavior is pretty unacceptable.
 
Same thing over here with stories of kids renting limos and Hummer stretches to take them to their 'debs' as we call it. I think it's a symptom of wealth rather than 'decadence' personally. In my day you were lucky if you got a ham sandwich and some lemonade....the youth of today don't know how lucky they are.....rant...rant...etc:wink:
 
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While such prom-related festivities can seem like a ridiculous waste of money and spark people to participate in illegal actions (like underage drinking at pre and post parties), not everybody chooses to celebrate prom night in such a fashion, and it's a shame for those that they are being screwed out of their prom.
 
kellenberg is one of the cheapest private schools on long island. tuition is around $6,000 per year. the kids that attend are upper-middle class to perhaps low "high" class. they are not even close to the "extremly wealthy."

all this cancelation will do is force the kids to go out and set up their own events. this solved nothing, and only hurt the majority of those who simply want to enjoy their prom. so the "popular kids" will still have their senior events, while the rest will be left to small gatherings if anything at all.

:up: good job jackass.
 
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Does anyone actually enjoy their prom? No one I know admits to actually enjoying it.

I didn't bother go to mine. I think I went out to a casual dinner and saw a movie instead. I figured the food and entertainment were far better, and it didn't cost nearly as much. And these were in the days when kids considered it a huge deal if they could borrow their parents car to go to prom (which was generally held at the high school gym).
 
indra said:
Does anyone actually enjoy their prom? No one I know admits to actually enjoying it.

I didn't bother go to mine. I think I went out to a casual dinner and saw a movie instead. I figured the food and entertainment were far better, and it didn't cost nearly as much. And these were in the days when kids considered it a huge deal if they could borrow their parents car to go to prom (which was generally held at the high school gym).

i went to my prom, had a nice stretch limo, didn't drink until after it was over, and i did get laid.

i vey much enjoyed it.
 
:up: to Headache and Bonochick's posts on the first page. I don't agree with this principal's actions, because I don't think it's fair to punish all kids for the actions of some. I shouldn't have to miss out on a fun evening because some kids went off and acted goofy.

*Went to her junior and senior proms and had a blast at both* And no drugs, alcohol, or sex was involved in my evenings, either (not meaning to sound all uppity with this or whatever).

Angela
 
Didn't go to my 'prom'/debs as I was too young but did go to a few similar events at university. And yeah, I had a few beers...shoot me.
 
BonoVoxSupastar said:
Prom is just a dance. A celebration of ending one's high school career. I agree with Irvine that the myth has gotten way out of control. But the prom itself is not the problem and shouldn't be where the principle should have taken a stand.

Do we eliminate graduation ceremonies next?

Isn't that a tad dramatic? The graduation ceremony is the celebration of one's high school "career" - not the prom.

A principal should not be taking the time to police, enforce standards or worry about a dance (that has grown to such an extreme). I can't see the continuation of a prom as a priority.

Irvine also hints at another factor that impacts some students - the cost. Rich kids go all out and spend thousands for one night. The less fortunate face the pressure of keeping up with the rest by "having" to spend money on what are considered prom basics.
 
nbcrusader said:
Irvine also hints at another factor that impacts some students - the cost. Rich kids go all out and spend thousands for one night. The less fortunate face the pressure of keeping up with the rest by "having" to spend money on what are considered prom basics.

That's gonna happen no matter what in life, though. If it doesn't happen with prom, it's gonna happen with something else down the road.

I wasn't that big on the cost of everything for prom...I didn't have a limo, wore the same dress both years in a row, none of that huge fancy stuff, and that honestly suited me just fine :shrug:.

Angela
 
nbcrusader said:
Irvine also hints at another factor that impacts some students - the cost. Rich kids go all out and spend thousands for one night. The less fortunate face the pressure of keeping up with the rest by "having" to spend money on what are considered prom basics.


Cost doesn't determine how much fun a person has. Zach Morris and Kelly Kapowski had fun at their prom work on a picnic table outside the gym in sweats. :wink:
 
nbcrusader said:


Isn't that a tad dramatic? The graduation ceremony is the celebration of one's high school "career" - not the prom.
Well come on. Sitting in a robe listening to someone give a speech about how this is the first day of the rest of their lives or getting dressed up and dancing. Now which one sounds like a celebration to a 17 year old?

nbcrusader said:

A principal should not be taking the time to police, enforce standards or worry about a dance (that has grown to such an extreme). I can't see the continuation of a prom as a priority.
But it's not the dance that's grown to an extreme.
nbcrusader said:

Irvine also hints at another factor that impacts some students - the cost. Rich kids go all out and spend thousands for one night. The less fortunate face the pressure of keeping up with the rest by "having" to spend money on what are considered prom basics.
Well now that you've cancelled the dance, and put it in the hands of the parents you are making this problem worse.
 
nbcrusader said:
Isn't that a tad dramatic? The graduation ceremony is the celebration of one's high school "career" - not the prom.


many view the prom as a celebration of one's high school social life -- the last big night out with the friends before everyone disperses to their respective colleges, or employment, perhaps all across the country.

i think that can be done without prom, but i think there is something to be said for the school to celebrate the class apart from academics. school is much more than simply what goes on in the classroom; most schools offer sports, clubs, etc., in the acknowledgement that they are concerned with the lives of teenagers beyond how well they do on tests.


[q]A principal should not be taking the time to police, enforce standards or worry about a dance (that has grown to such an extreme). I can't see the continuation of a prom as a priority.[/q]

so why do anything? in the DC area, there have been 2-3 stabbings at high school football games. these were unrelated to athletic rivalries and extentions of gang retaliations that extend far beyond the school. is the solution to ban football?


Irvine also hints at another factor that impacts some students - the cost. Rich kids go all out and spend thousands for one night. The less fortunate face the pressure of keeping up with the rest by "having" to spend money on what are considered prom basics.


this is where i find the most compelling argument, but i'm not sure what one does about this. parents, particularly suburban parents in towns like the one i grew up in, are notorious for competing with other parents through their children. most do it in slightly subtler ways -- the casual mentioning of a child's grades, SAT scores, athletic accomplishments, acceptance into competitive colleges, etc., all while done on the soccer field on a saturday in october. actually, i'd find anyone who chose to compete through the grotesque display of wealth uncouth and laughable -- but the competitive instinct is still there, this builds into a child's expectations, and it becomes a sick little message: "mommy, if you really loved me you'd use me as a competitive wedge."

however, i just don't see the cancellation of the prom achieving much beyond engendering resentment with the students because the principal has subsequently labled them all "bad apples" -- if you treat teenagers like idiots and delinquents, then that's how they will act. putting myself into my shoes of 10 years ago, if this had happened at high school, i would have started a riot. well, not quite, but take away prom? to punish everyone because of the actions of a few? i can't think of a better way to piss off teenagers and to subsequently create a new standard of negative behavior -- "we are cancelling the prom because we know you can't behave" -- that would make me *more* likely to drink, spend money, whatever, at the prom than less.

i think there are ways of spinning a prom into something more positive -- keeping the essence of the prom, a celebration of high school friendships, while removing it's more grotesque elements.

how? well ... this is what PTA's are for.

;)
 
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BonoVoxSupastar said:
Well now that you've cancelled the dance, and put it in the hands of the parents you are making this problem worse.

If parents are the problem, the school sponsoring a prom is not going to make it any better. It doesn't even the playing field or reduce the illegal behavior.

I realize the decision will create an uproar. But that is related to the student's sense of entitlement.
 
I don't usually tend towards the 'authoritarian' but I agree with NBC that the principal's decision should be respected...at the end of the day, whatever about PTA's, etc, final authority surely has to rest somewhere.
 
indra said:
Does anyone actually enjoy their prom? No one I know admits to actually enjoying it.

My prom was HORRIBLE!!! :lol: But it was so bad that it makes for great storytelling...so I wouldn't trade those memories for anything. :wink:

Afterwards, my friend's dad allowed us to have a party at his place in the woods...and, yes, we did drink. But he hid all of our car keys from us and kept an eye on us. I'm not saying that makes what we did right, but at least we tried to be as responsible as possible. :wink: So...that party was fun! But prior to that...what a night. :scream: :crack: :lol:

I also didn't go nuts with spending a ton of (my dad's) money. I rocked a $40 dress and drove my '89 Beretta. :D
 
nbcrusader said:
I realize the decision will create an uproar. But that is related to the student's sense of entitlement.



american culture has instilled the entitlement to a prom.

it's the excess that surrounds the prom that is the issue.

also, this isn't a new phenomenon. i remember a story from when i was in 8th grade -- this would have been 1992. i was told that there used to be an end of the year dance to celebrate the passage from 8th grade to high school. they wound up cancelling the dance some 10 years before i was in jr. high when students -- keep in mind these are 14 year olds -- started showing up to the dance in limos. instead, they turned the dance into what became known as 8th Grade Day -- the school took over a local ... i don't know what it's officially called, but it had lots of food, swimming pools, a small lake to paddle boats, volley ball courts, tennis courts, basketball courts, etc. and it was lots of fun.

why can't prom morph into something where money won't help you out as much?

also, and correct me if i'm wrong, but it's the kids who spend the most who are the most ridiculed by everyone else. if some kids went on a booze cruise in the hamptons after my prom, we would have laughed at them for being the shallow idiots with cash-for-brains that they were.
 
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also, doesn't much of this tie into the silly drinking age of 21 in the US?

yes, you can drive a car and get drafted and get your limbs blown of for some rich asshole's stupid grudge revenge fantasy in Iraq, but you can't have a beer.
 
I am a bit shocked by the responses here.

I fully disagree with what this man thinks is his right to do.

These families choose to pay for their children to go to private school, and when it comes time for the kids to celebrate finishing high school, the school, more specifically the Principal, has decided to take that away from them.

Forget for a second the indulgence that some children or parents may partake in during this time, what about those well-behaved, and educationally deserving students who have been looking forward to their prom.

What right does this adult, who most likely did not go to a prom, have to take one of the few high school celebrations these kids have away from them?

If I were a parent, I would not only be outraged, I would call for this man's resignation.

How dare he decide how my child will celebrate his accomplishments after I have paid $6,000 a year for him (or her, of course) to attend the school.

Maybe this is a bit extreme, but to group all the children together with the 'bad seeds' is entirely wrong, and truly unfair. I read a quote from one of the parents who basically said it was unfair for the Principal to group all the children together with those who drink, or do drugs - they were not happy.

Now there are over 40 children who have raised money to rent a beach house after the prom to celebrate and now this man (whom these children will only know for 24 hours after their now cancelled prom) has ruined their plans.

The real question is - why?

This guy does not like what the prom represents?

Is that his call?

Is he wiser, healthier, a better person because he does not like the prom? In all respects the prom will not even effect him, however when these kids look back at their high school experience, they will remember that he was the douchbag who cancelled their prom.

I am sure he is one class act.

I do not see how these kids are going to be better off after having this taken away from them. I would guess they would be more bitter and hostile.

Anyway - I am not sure why I am so heated about this, I am just so tired of people thinking they know better than some of our youth.

I truly hope the parents of that class throw a huge bash for these kids, and basically give them everything they want aside from some lame-ass dance on school grounds.





















That, and I hope they toilet-paper that goddamned school!!!!

:wink:
 
ouizy said:

The real question is - why?

This guy does not like what the prom represents?

Is that his call?

Is he wiser, healthier, a better person because he does not like the prom? In all respects the prom will not even effect him, however when these kids look back at their high school experience, they will remember that he was the douchbag who cancelled their prom.



yes, this does have a "Footloose" quality to it, doesn't it?

Dancing is not a crime!!!
 
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