Last tango for Chaminade prom
BY CAROL EISENBERG
STAFF WRITER
December 2, 2005
Chaminade has become the second Catholic high school on Long Island to cancel its junior and senior proms because "the culture has become so toxic, it can't be reformed," its top administrator said.
The announcement Wednesday by the elite boys school in Mineola stunned the 1,625 students who had been ordered to gather for a special study hall. Only six weeks ago, Kellenberg Memorial High School in Uniondale, run by the same Marianist order, called off its prom because of what its principal called "financial decadence." Last spring, 46 seniors there put down $10,000 to rent a Hamptons house for a post-prom party.
"The prom itself is not the issue, it's the excessiveness that surrounds it," said the Rev. James C. Williams, president of Chaminade, the prestigious school that has graduated notables such as television commentator Bill O'Reilly, former U.S. Sen. Alfonse D'Amato, and actor Brian Dennehy.
"It's all about who has the biggest limousine. Who has the most over-the-top evening planned. Who has the best story to tell when the event is over. Can anyone really claim any of this is compatible with maturity, let alone the Gospel? If you talk to school administrators, everyone is looking at this now."
Williams said that kids routinely spend $1,000 each for tuxes, limousines and flowers -- and often have parties before and after the prom involving alcohol and sex.
"Some may choose to ignore the real issues," he said in a letter to parents about the cancellation. "After all 'let boys be boys.' We will not be part of that. At Chaminade, we are about creating men of integrity and value."
For some students, the news was nothing short of catastrophic. "To have this taken from us is like a dagger to the heart," said Shane Abrams, 17, a senior from Oceanside. "It's a shock. It's a big loss."
However, parent Donald Pfail of Garden City, with two sons at the school, applauded the decision despite their disappointment. "Face it," he said, "things have gotten out of hand with proms on Long Island. They're accidents waiting to happen."
Several other Catholic school principals acknowledged those concerns and said they were looking at whether to continue with the proms. While the issue has reached the boiling point with Catholic educators, it has not yet prompted prom cancellations at public schools.
"If schools canceled their proms, does that necessarily mean that the sort of post-prom activities we're all concerned about would stop? Probably not," said Hank Grishman, superintendent in Jericho.
Talk among students at Chaminade yesterday centered on prom alternatives -- such as a faculty-suggested trip to an amusement park -- even as a petition circulated to save the big event.
Tim Graham, 15, a sophomore from Amityville, said he "definitely" planned to sign the petition. "I had two cousins who went to Chaminade, and I would always go to their before-prom parties. I was always looking forward to my own."
But protest or no, Williams said he would not budge on the decision. "What made a prom so sacred that we can't even talk about it?" he asked yesterday. He has asked students for alternatives. "I hear kids talking about mounting a petition, and I say to them, 'Why do you need a petition? Come talk to me.' "
Several students were doing just that when a reporter called. In interviews, a few of them acknowledged past excesses, but nonetheless opposed the ban. Others supported the cancellation, saying classmates had abused the prom tradition.
"The prom itself no longer matters to these kids," said Sean Rober, 16, a sophomore. "It has become a vehicle for night-long debauchery, not a fun rite of passage to end the year with, and so it was canceled. I think it was the right thing."
Another sophomore, James Rizzi, 16, of Westbury, agreed. "I feel it's really in our best interests. To me it's not really consistent with what Chaminade has taught us for four years."