New law in Spain REQUIRE men to share equally in housework

[sulawesigirl4]

I heard this story on the BBCWorldservice last night and thought it was interesting and might merit an FYM discussion. Here's the gist of it and a link to the full article.

Housework looms for Spanish men

Spanish men who refuse to lift a finger around the house are facing new legal sanctions.

MPs in Spain have drawn up a marriage contract for use in civil ceremonies which obliges men to share household chores and the care of children and elderly family members.

The new law, which will be introduced this summer in Spain, promises a revolution in a country where nearly half of all men admit to doing no housework at all.

Puffing and panting and swearing under his breath, 36-year-old Santi Risco tries to put up an ironing board. He doesn't have much success and it's a pretty painful sight watching a previously undomesticated Spanish male trying hard to change with the times.

"Spanish law is changing so men have to do 50% of the housework," Santi tells me, rather red-faced. "I am getting married this autumn so I am learning things I've never done before: ironing, cleaning floors and doing the washing up.

"It's not that I'm a macho man. It's just that I've never been taught these things before."

Upbringing

Santi's trying to make up for lost time. He gives up on the ironing board and heads for the bathroom, ready to clean the mirrors. He is a man with a mission. The contract he will sign at his civil wedding ceremony this September will oblige him - by law - to share domestic responsibilities with his partner.

Failure to do so will affect the terms of a divorce settlement, should he ever find himself in that position. But even as Santi cleans up his act, Aintzane, his wife-to-be, says she remains sceptical about the new law.

"It's good that Santi is beginning to do things in the house. Well, he has to. I told him about the consequences if he doesn't. But it's not just men. Women in Spain are also part of the problem.

"Our mothers tell us to do the housework when we are little girls. So when we go to a relationship we do the housework."

So can this "housework law" as it has been dubbed here really change Spanish cultural traditions? Statistics show that Spanish women spend up to five times longer on housework than their husbands.

If they have a full-time job, they still do three times more housework.

A study five years ago by the Centre for Sociological Investigation concluded that Spanish fathers spent an average of 13 minutes a day looking after their children. And only 19% of Spanish men thought it was right for mothers of school age children to have a full-time job.

Margarita Uria is the MP who set up the new law.

"It's all a question of education", she says. "Starting with this law, but we should also teach children in schools. Men have to learn to start taking more responsibility in the home and women have to help them do it. This is beginning to change. After all, the Spanish parliament was unanimous in approving this law."

...rest of text here at the BBC website

So, what do you all think? Good idea, bad idea or just too utopic? I find myself of several opinions at the same time. One side being that hell yes it is about time that men were required to pitch in their fair share. But on the other side, how in the world could this be enforced and is it the government's job to do so? I'm not sure. But I like the idea of evening the playing field so to speak and adding equal housework to what is expected from people in a marriage.

My parents were a good example, I feel. They both did work around our house and they both took turns cooking and washing up. If my mom cooks, my dad cleans, and vice-versa. Even in my own relationship, my boyfriend does the majority of the cleaning around the house (sweeping, mopping, etc.) while I cook and we take turns doing the dishes. Here in Mali for the most part women are treated as domestic servants. It is completely normal to see a man come home and sit and demand that his wife bring him a cup of water or a cup of tea or whatever he wants. Like a little king. Makes me want to pour the cup of water over his head and tell him to get his own damn water.

 

[nbcrusader]

How much do we want the government involved in our private lives?

And if anyone thinks this will improve a relationship - guess again.

 

[indra]

I can't see how they can enforce it, and I find the intrusion of government into private lives disturbing, but a part of me says "It's about damned time!"

So.... I like the idea, but the law makes me queasy.

 

[joyfulgirl]

I can't see how they can enforce it, and I find the intrusion of government into private lives disturbing, but a part of me says "It's about damned time!"

So.... I like the idea, but the law makes me queasy.

Pretty much sums up how I feel about it. I don't want the government in my bedroom or my kitchen. Or the living room and bathroom for that matter.

 

[indra]

Makes me want to pour the cup of water over his head and tell him to get his own damn water.

That would be my reaction too.


My dad used to try to pull that one sometimes. My mum would just tell him to get his own damned stuff.

 

[pax]

I think it would be a nice idea for couples to agree between themselves that this would be a part of a marriage agreement. And from what I got out of the article, the law wouldn't be "enforced" as much (like, a dude couldn't be arrested), but it would be legal grounds for divorce if the man violated the agreement.

That said...well, as I said, I think it would be very wise for couples to discuss and agree on this beforehand. But there could well be legit reasons for a woman to be doing more housework. I think it would be better settled on a personal, individual, case-by-case basis.

 

[dandy]

while i appreciate the idea behind the law (being the egalitarian i am ), i don't think passing a law is the best way to bring about societal change in this case.

i agree that in many cases, men could be more helpful around the house, but like joyfulgirl said, i don't want the law regulating what goes on in my bedroom or my kitchen.

nice try, but it ain't gonna work.

 

[80sU2isBest]

I have a friend that I wish there was this law just for him; it would force him to help his wife.

 

[verte76]

I like the idea of sharing housework, but I have real trouble with a law *mandating* it. And I don't see how in the hell they'll enforce it.

 

[ladywithspinninghead]

Hmmm, re-thinking the break-up with ex-boyfriend who lives in Barcelona

 

[BAW]

Police, arrest tht man! He refuses to take out the trash!



Rather than relying a law that will be all but impossible to enforce, parents need to show their sons at an early age that household chores aren't "women's work" and that they should share in them equally. Mothers should teach and fathers should set an example by helping out.

I firmly believe that boys should learn to cook, do laundry, sew a button, iron a shirt and clean toilets and it needs to start at home at an early age. It should not be up to a man's wife to train him.

Likewise, I think girls should know how pump their own gas, change a tire and kill bugs

 

[indra]

Likewise, I think girls should know how change a tire...

Most girls don't know how to call AAA?

 

[BAW]

Most girls don't know how to call AAA?

Actually, now that you mention AAA, I don't know if anyone really changes their own tires anymore

 

[Irvine511]

I firmly believe that boys should learn to cook, do laundry, sew a button, iron a shirt and clean toilets and it needs to start at home at an early age. It should not be up to a man's wife to train him.

but wouldn't you be teaching your son to be gay?

 

[BAW]

but wouldn't you be teaching your son to be gay?

omg, I hadn't thought about that!

 

[Rono]

Police, arrest tht man! He refuses to take out the trash!

very old fashion



Great law

 

[u2bonogirl]

that sounds utterly retarded to me
Forcing a man to do housework will just make him bitter.
Im guessing it will reduce the amount of weddings as well
Its my pleasure to keep the house nice for my guy, I enjoy making it pleasant to be in when he gets home from work. hes also not a lazy ass that just expects me to do everything either I suppose if that was his attitude I would be less joyful in doing things for him

Then again, I was raised and taught the biblical role of a woman to be the keeper of the home. This doesnt mean to me that Im going to have to do everything 100% of the time. But it does mean that Im to be my husbands helper and care for him the best I can
Im really looking forward to being married and taking care of the house!
Am I weird?

 

[redkat]

[
Then again, I was raised and taught the biblical role of a woman to be the keeper of the home. This doesnt mean to me that Im going to have to do everything 100% of the time. But it does mean that Im to be my husbands helper and care for him the best I can
Im really looking forward to being married and taking care of the house!
Am I weird? [/B][/QUOTE]

Tara, I don't think you're weird. I felt the same way when I was first married. But once kids enter the house I definitely wanted and expected help.

I think the law may just be a way of changing the mindset of society and empower women to ask for more help from their partner.

 

[u2bonogirl]

Oh believe me, once kids enter in I'm going to be begging for help
And once theyre old enough I can have slave labor

I think if they want to change the mindset of society, it ideally should start from parents teaching their children.
But obviously the parents would have to change their mindset.
There we go, legally force parents to teach their children to help their spouse out once in a while

 

[BAW]

[BIm really looking forward to being married and taking care of the house!
Am I weird? [/B]

LOL, redkat said pretty much what I was going to say. There is nothing wrong with the woman taking care of the house if that is what both partners want. Its not weird and I felt the same way when I was about to set up my first household away from my parents.

My first husband was very old fashioned and wanted us to follow traditional gender roles but once I started working full time and 2 kids came along, being solely responsible for the house and kids didn't work out for me anymore. He worked 8 hours, I worked 10 to 12 hours, yet he got to sit back and relax after work while I cooked, did laundry, bathed babies and ironed our work clothes for the next day. I wasn't willing to play the dutiful housewife while the king sat back and watched TV.

The second time around, I'm lucky enough to married to someone who does more than his fair share and I don't even have to ask.

But again, every couple has to decide for themselves what works. Be honest about your expectations and don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. And don't be a martyr!

 

[u2bonogirl]

thanks for the encouragement
Tim would never let me be a martyr
He thanks me prrofusely for making him a simple little dinner
The agreement is that if Im too busy to make dinner at the end of the day he gets PB&J and a night of great sex
It was actually suggested by one of my pastors wives

I think he's in charge of the guy stuff like lightbulbs and garbage when I dont get to it....
I feel really lucky to have the kind of guy I have

It helps that he was a bachelor until he was 31

 

[redkat]

I'm sure you two will be great together. As far as PBJ's go you'd be suprised how often that's what dh gets he likes them quite a bit.

I think it's a matter of respecting each other and wanting to share the load. I do most traditional things but if things are rough he steps in and does a lot vice versa if he's got to work late I'll take on some of his chores.

I know a lot of women who aren't that lucky it's so sad to hear them talk really. They aren't happy and I think they lose respect for their husbands really quick in those situations.

Mrs.BAW I'm glad you and Mr.BAW found each other

 

[A_Wanderer]

The Spanish people elected these people through the democratic process, if they have a problem with it then they should answer at the ballot box.

 

[Moonlit_Angel]

My dad helps out around the house every so often-he cooks from time to time, helps with the dishes on occasion, and offers to help my mom with the laundry, too. My mom still yells at him for forgetting to throw dirty clothes in the basket, though .

But yeah, I agree with you guys-this sort of thing should be an issue that the couple and the couple alone should discuss. There shouldn't be a law enforcing this stuff-that's stupid.

Angela

 

[80sU2isBest]

but wouldn't you be teaching your son to be gay?

Ha ha...

but nope. I do 4 of those 5: cook, iron, laundry, clean toilets.

 

[sue4u2]

that sounds utterly retarded to me
Forcing a man to do housework will just make him bitter.

That's just always been the plan on how to get out of it: act bitter

Its my pleasure to keep the house nice for my guy, I enjoy making it pleasant to be in when he gets home from work. [/B]

You'll get over that. Believe me.

Then again, I was raised and taught the biblical role of a woman to be the keeper of the home. This doesnt mean to me that Im going to have to do everything 100% of the time. But it does mean that Im to be my husbands helper and care for him the best I can [/B]

That too

Im really looking forward to being married and taking care of the house!
[/B]

No not weird, just don't tell him this!!
Seriously.. u2bonogirl.. I wish you and your mate all the happiness and love in world.
Just don't give up all your self to anyone else.

 

[sue4u2]

oops.. technical mistake
double post

 

[echo0001]

This law is not going to be about arresting guys who won't help around the house; it's going to be about how the settlement works out when she divorces his lazy ass. This is one of the reasons I'm in no rush to get married; I do not wish to spend half my time taking care of a man-baby, and the other half of the time felling "bitter"... I mean, really--what about all the women who are made to feel bitter by lazy, chauvanistic jerks?

I figure, if you can reach the dials on the machine, you're old enough to figure out how to do your own laundry. If you're old enough to be married, you're old enough to figure out how to fry an egg. When I get married, I want to marry a grown up--not a six foot tall child.

 

[deep]

Ha ha...

but nope. I do 4 of those 5: cook, iron, laundry, clean toilets.

Irvine told me the gay list is:

cook, iron, laundry, clean toilets, and not have sex with women.


look who's 5 for 5

 

[financeguy]

The Spanish people elected these people through the democratic process, if they have a problem with it then they should answer at the ballot box.

True, they voted for a Socialist government and sooner or later socialist governments interfere in people's private lives. It seems to be a kind of addiction of socialist governments.